


The Beast of the Aberdeens

by QueenPotatos



Category: Free!
Genre: <- this goes with the murders tags but I feel it should be clearer, Blood, F/M, Family Story, Incest, M/M, Mention Of Homophobia, Minor Character Deaths, Mystical creature, Poison, Religion, ghosts story, gothic horror, murders, psychological disoder, some OOCs because of all this, victorian area
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-20 23:10:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 90,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11931297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPotatos/pseuds/QueenPotatos
Summary: Scotland, in the late 19th century; Rin visited his sister who was about to marry a rich Duke in the Aberdeens. It's when he first heard about a terrific rumor : there's a beast living in the northern woods, which was said to have devoured an entire family and killed villagers in the surroundings. Ignoring her warnings Rin, and his long time friend Sousuke, a soon to be surgeon, went North and found themselves trapped in Aberdeen's Hall, where Rin used to spend his young years along with his cousin Haruka. How surprised he was to learn his aunt and uncle had been eaten by the Beast, ten years ago ! And how surprised he was when a ghost appaears within the Hall. And no everyone's ghost : his father's, Toraichi Matsuoka.Yamazaki Sousuke had never believed in ghosts' stories, nor in the existence of a mystical creature. Together they were going to untangle this mystery, and try not to come out unscathed...





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> If you're still here after reading the tags there's nothing I need to add! (Though it sounds bad but it isn't that bad, I swear). Just know that the story is more or less finished, 9 chapters are done already. All the warnings are usually just small scenes, and I'll warn at the begining of each chapters if there's any need.  
> This story was inspired by 'Crimson Peak' and the 'Comte Cain/God Child' series. It's the first time I'm trying Gothic and Horror so I hope it will be good enough, though it doesn't get really scary until the end.
> 
> I had a lot of trouble with the title, as always.
> 
> Have a good read!

* * *

 

 

# Prologue

 

 

 

It had been a lovely evening spent in Cornetly but despite the Duke and his soon to be wife’s insistences, he had made-up his mind; they would be leaving before night.

  
“Brother, don’t be silly as always,” Gou said, even if, knowing her brother like the back of her hand, she was certain she didn’t know the words that could change his mind yet. “What harm does spending another night with us make?”

  
Rin was already putting on his gloves and hat and Sousuke, his best friend, was leading their horses forward. “Dear sister, I wish I could stay with you much longer. But in your mouth a night will turn into a week, and a week into a month.” With his black velvet glove his finger brushed against her rosy cheek. “Plus, you know how I can’t resist you; I’m wise enough to leave while I still can.”

His sweet words allowed a blush to color her cheeks, and Gou lowered her eyes to the ground.

  
“We were really honored by your visit,” the Duke saluted them, “please come back as you please.”

  
“Of course I will, be reassured of that, Duke Mikoshiba.” Sousuke gave him the reign of his horse and Rin mounted as well. “You’re in the possession of my biggest treasure, it will take years before I can trust you enough not to check on her regularly.”

  
The Duke blew his hat. “I didn’t expect anything else from my brother-in-law.”

  
They exchanged a strong glance and then, Rin’s eyes left the Duke’s face for the Mansion just behind the betrotheds. He had never seen one that big and Rin had lived in many places from all around Europe. The Duke wasn’t Gou’s first choice but he was rich, and a good man; he had very few doubts about his ability of making her happy. Next time Rin would see her she would be married, even maybe with a child. That would make him an uncle at only 23 year old. Their mother often disputed him about his lack of advancement in this particular field, but to be honest Rin wasn’t in a hurry for that matter. He was persuaded that the proper wife would present herself at the appropriate moment. Everything happened when needed. His best friend, Yamazaki Sousuke who was travelling with him, was a good living example of that saying.

  
A gust of wind untangled his red locks. Gou tightened the pink woolen shawl around her shoulder; it was getting cold for a November evening, even in this area of Scotland.

  
“You should go now if you want to reach Treston before the night,” the Duke warned them. “If you take the eastern road you’ll be there in an hour.”

  
“That would be very convenient I confess but we’re not leading East,” Rin announced, to everyone’s surprise, “we’ll be riding North toward Edlington.”

  
“The Northem Road?” The Duke repeated, bemused. “My lord, I must insist you ride East, for those lands are known by my family to be haunted and inappropriate for strangers.”

  
“Brother, I heard people of the manor talking about it,” Gou added. “They say people had died in those woods, killed by a monstrous beast! They said they heard the thing howling in the night, the cry as cold as a block of ice, cold enough to freeze a heart.”

  
As a man of science Sousuke remained skeptical about Gou’s remark. He didn’t belong to the high aristocracy as Rin or the Duke but he had travelled with Rin since their studies in Florence. Taller and more built, he lost to Rin by eloquence and grace. His manners weren’t as pleasant as Rin, neither so were his taste of clothing - to be honest he had never truly understood why Rin took so much importance to his appearance and to what people might think of him. Rin often joked that Sousuke wouldn’t fake a smile to save his life and that was why he liked him so much by his side.

  
“Brother, please, listen to me just this once and head to Treston immediately.” Gou insisted. “I beg you.”

“Gou, you all of the people here should know that these lands are anything but mysterious to me, and that the most terrifying beast wouldn’t be enough to cool my heart.”

 

***

  
  
Rin and Sousuke had been visiting Cornetly for almost two weeks before Rin decided to go back to London. He had left on a whim and had brought Sousuke along side without asking too much for his advice, and his friend had followed without batting an eye. He felt lucky to have such a loyal friend he could count on.

  
“Rin, why going North?” Sousuke inquired. They were riding and the sky was getting darker than it should be, he didn’t like that feeling.

  
“Nostalgia I guess,” Rin didn’t seem to mind the sudden darkness. “I never told you about the days I spent here, did I?”

  
“Not in my memory.”

  
They passed by a wooden bridge that looked like it was about to collapse, and then Rin turned right toward a forest of ten metres high pines. “When I was a child my aunt used to live here. Each summer my father would bring us here; we did until I was twelve or so, I think...” Rin slowed down as the first raindrops hit his skin. “Gou came along too and I think it played a role as for why she agreed to marry the Duke in the end. The place brought back memories of our happy family.”

  
On the other hand Sousuke thought the size of the Manor and her fiance’s fortune were enough arguments.

“Was it before your father died?”

  
“He didn’t die,” Rin rectified, “he _disappeared_. We never knew what really happened to him.”

  
Toraichi Matsuoka had worked for the British Army. First placed in India, his company and their boats got shipwrecked during the Turkish-Russian conflict ten years ago. Despite their efforts, his body was the only corpse the army could never give back, which lead Rin to doubt the eventuality of his death. Since it had always been a touchy subject for Rin, Sousuke kept quiet until the rain forced them to halt a couple of minutes later. They couldn’t see as far as their noses and the horses wouldn’t trot any further.

  
“I know a way,” Rin took the lead. “Come with me.”

  
They took a narrow path in a forest where only one horse could go at a time. The deeper they went to more Sousuke grew worried. The rain turned into a storm, the scattered lightnings became their sole source of visibility. Soon their clothes got soaking wet. What a good idea to leave Cornetly at this moment, Sousuke thought, and he wished Rin would listen to his sister good sense more often.

They won back what seemed to be the main path as the horses slowed down in front of an old wooden bridge. Suddenly, thunder rumbled and lightning stroke a massive pine. Its trunk fell on the bridge and made it collapse, blocking completely the way in front of them. Rin cursed under his breath.

  
“And now,” Sousuke asked, “what are we going to do?”

Rin sent him a murderous glare, but his words were cut by another loud clash, curter and harsher, coming from the forest.

“That wasn’t lightening.” Sousuke breathed.

“Of course it’s not,” Rin said, and it’s a miracle he heard Sousuke with the middle of this natural racket,  “The lightening is what we see, thunder is what we hear.”

“Then it’s not thunder,” Sousuke repeated, annoyed by such triviality coming from his friend, “It’s a-”

“Gunshot!” Rin cut him.

Another loud shot echoed from behind the pines and some birds, probably crows, flied from their nests. The horses arched their backs and Sousuke almost fell off.

“What’s happening?” He shouted to Rin.

“Not sure, but at least we know it’s not a wide animal!”

Guided by fear the horses cantered out of control in between the pines. Rin couldn’t see where they were rushing, his hat getting lost as a branch slammed into his face hard and hurt his nose.

“Rin!” Sousuke called his name multiple times as his friend got out of his sight. “Rin, where are you?”

“Right here you moron! Where _are_ you!?”

In the end their mad dash lead them to a foggy grove full of dead trees; the horses halted in front of a massive, dark rusted portal. Rin went forward without any kind of warning and forced Sousuke to follow the hazardous path as well. The gunshots had stopped but the foam and the rain made it difficult for Sousuke to know where they were going. One thing was for sure, they weren’t going North anymore.

“Don’t worry,” Rin shouted from ahead, “I told you I know the area. If my memories are intact we might find a refuge very soon.”

“ _If?_ ”

Rin jolted that biting remark aside with a smile. “Maybe I’ll finally be able to keep my promise after all this time.”

Before Sousuke could ask what his friend was talking about a voice came to his ears. Someone was shouting to their right, calling them. Soon a equestrian appeared under the fog.

“M’Lords!” The man shouted with a husky voice, “What are you doing in the middle of this bloody tempest?”

“We’re lost! We’ve been caught by the storm!” Rin shouted back.

“The road to Edlington is impassable,” Sousuke added, “we-”

“To Edlington you say? Don’t stay here m’lords, come with me to my master’s Hall!”

They could go back of course, but in this maze of white thick fog no one could bet they could find their tracks back, and the rain might have erased them already. The providential horseman was their best option at time. He urged them to follow his horse.

A couple of minute later the rain had abated but not stopped, the fog grew even thicker but from then already the towers of an old manor appeared above the white cloud. Another portal awaits them, smaller this time.

“Well. m’lords, welcome to Aberdeen Hall.”

An alley of white pebbles went from the portal to the entrance door bordered by a line of shrubs with crimson flowers. The fog slowly disappeared as they rode closer and soon the visitors faced the black facade and its two towers. They spare no time contemplating it though for the rain cut on their skins and they were urged to enter the lobby. Their savor took their horses to the stable and let them join the hall on their own.

The place was just like in Rin memories, not even the tapestries had changed. The hall may be the coldest place of the manor, on its left there were the stairs leading to the first and second floors, the kitchens were on its right and ahead came the living rooms and beyond the conservatory and its french windows, overlooking the garden.

The only thing that was missing in the whole picture were the people.

“Well, who could have thought such a place existed in the middle of a storm like this?”

Sousuke patted him on his shoulder, but Rin was too busy gazing at the mirror of his childhood memories to notice. “I knew where I was going.” He breathed

“Then you could have told me somewhere between the first raindrop and that time I thought I was going to get shot.”

“Don’t be silly, you wouldn’t have heard me.”

A butler ran to them from the kitchen as soon as he heard their voices. “Haru are you back al- Rin?!”

“Makoto?!”

 

***

 

Sousuke was settling the few of their things they had taken on them in their bedrooms while Rin and the buttler were in the smoking room. They were having hot wine, sharing old memories.

“It’s been ages. How has it been?”

“Well,” Makoto was smiling but his hands were busy on his cup. Rin noticed the tick, he knew Makoto was bad at lying or hiding things. “Things had been quite calm the past few years. As you can see the manor is quite remote, we don’t have many visitors.”

Rin took a sip and burnt his tongue. “How is Haru?”

Makoto smiled, “I thought you would ask. He’s rather fine, considering the circumstances…”

Rin frowned at the remark. “Which circumstances?”

“Oh, you haven't heard?”

Makoto sounded surprised which got Rin even more intrigued, but as he was about to learn the truth the manor’s doors swung opened. “Makoto, are you there? I brought two pheasant for dinner. Have you seen Goro?” A voice said from the hall.

Rin put his steaming cup down. “Is that-”

“Haru!”

The butler jumped from his seat and ran to welcome his master, leaving Rin and his heart racing in his ribcage like a wolf running after its prey. It had been ten years since he had come here, ten years since he had last seen his cousin Haruka Nanase, his uncle and aunt.

_“When are you coming back?”_

He could still hear Haru’s soft voice just before his last leave. _“I’ll come back next summer just like always, I promise!”_ He had answered.

He hadn’t meant to lie, but after his father’s disappearance his mother had been overprotective over him and Gou, and had forbidden them to visit Aberdeen Hall ever again. Rin hadn’t forgotten about Haru of course but as time went by he had stopped thinking about him and their time spent together. As soon as Gou had mentioned a rich suitor from the North of Scotland, the memories of Haru playing with him in the green maze resurfaced. From then it had been worse than a mosquito bite that he desperately needed to scratch, going back to Aberdeen hadn’t left his mind since they left London.

He had waited ten years and this was enough, he couldn’t stay here alone in the smoking room while Haru was just at arm reach behind a door.

“-had already started the fire. Good. I’m-”

“Haru there’s something I need to tell you-”

“Can’t it wait until I’ve taken my boots and coat? I’m soaking wet.”

“I-Maybe it can but-”

“Haru!”

His face hadn’t changed much from what Rin remembered of him. Blue eyes warm like the summer sky, pale skin that rarely saw the light, dark thick hair like the wings of crows. He was thin and tall but not as much as Rin, whose travels had strengthened his mind and body. Sousuke would probably call him sicky but he’d be wrong. He had always been like that, resembling his mother, graceful and lean.

Haru didn’t call him back. Instead his mouth fell opened as the pheasant he was holding. It was good to see that after all these years he hadn’t forgotten about him.

Haru found his voice again when Rin reached them. “Long time no see,” he tried, casually. He didn’t know yet if Haru would be mad at him for not coming back for so long.

“...Rin. Welcome back to Aberdeen Hall.”

And Haru bow.

 

***

 

Sousuke had been wandering through the manor when he heard the door opened but chose to remain on his own for a bit. He had guessed the master of the place had been one of Rin’s childhood friend, the one he rarely talked about, and Sousuke knew well too much than when Rin wasn’t willing to enlarge about a certain subject then heavy feelings were involved. It was their reunion and, to be honest, Sousuke didn’t know what he was doing in the middle of it.

Their rooms were on the first floor. He had visited every of its nooks and was now heading to the second floor. It had been his goal from the moment he had seen that one of the tower was burnt when they arrived. This manor had a story of its own and curious as he was, Sousuke couldn’t help but aim for the truth.

“Mister,” a voice caught him by surprise, “May I ask you what you are doing here?”

This resolve was stopped by one of the maids descending the stairs. “This floor is for our master’s private rooms, there’s nothing for you to see. I’m afraid I have to take you back to your own room.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any harm. I was just wandering around.” Sousuke lied.

The maid gave him a smile, a sign she had believed him. They walked down the stairs together. “I couldn’t help but notice that half of the second floor had been burnt. Is it safe for your master?”

“Master Haruka knows this place better than anyone. That’s also why he forbids us access, it might be too dangerous even for us.” The maid told him.

“What happened? Was it an accident?”

“There was a fire, almost 10 years from now. What a terrible night...Oh, Makoto, is Haruka back from hunting?”

Makoto was pacing up and down in the hall with his hand linked behind his back. He seemed surprised to be interrupted. “Oh, Ama; Haru went in the gardens with Matsuoka Rin.”

“Rin you say? Our Rin is back? How lovely!” The maid exclaimed, joining her hands in front of her chest. “I guess Haruka must be delighted.”

 

And indeed he was, even if it didn’t show on his face - but Haru never was the kind to show how he felt, even to his closest ones.

The tempest was a foreign memory as he showed Rin how their childhood playground had changed. They had spent so many hours here in the garden.

They started their tour by the shrubs in front of the gates. “Those flowers weren’t there, were they?” Rin touched the blood-red petals between his fingers. “I like the colour.”

“Me too.”

Rin chuckled. “Red is still your favourite colour I guess.”

“These flowers can survive in the cold. They bloom in the winter when the ground is covered by snow, that's why you have never seen them before. The sight is beautiful.”

“I guess…” Rin added pensively.

He was gazing at the flowers as Haru was staring at him. After a moment of contemplation, he headed to the back of the manor and Rin followed him silently. A hedge maze stood before them, overlooking the french windows.

“I can’t believe this place had grown so much! I remember the bushes would only reach the top of my head.” Now they were twice his height.

“Well, time had passed...When was the last time you came here?” Haru asked calmly.

Rin dread his absence would come to the discussion sooner or later. Could Haru understand that it wasn’t his fault? Was it really...he could have come sooner, as soon as he came off age and escaped his mother’s authorities. Why had he waited so long?

“It has been quite a long time indeed, ten years or so.”

“It would have been ten years and four months next week.” Haru corrected.

His words cut through his skin harder than the cold wind. Haru didn’t sound pissed or angry, on the contrary his voice was still very calm but never had Rin imagined in his wildest dream he would have known exactly how long ago his last visit had occurred, as if he had been counting the day to his return since then.

“I’m sorry.” Rin apologized, knowing it was far from being enough. “I’m really sorry. Mother...Father...a lot of things happened and-”

“It’s okay. I understand. A lot of things happened here too.” Haru looked up to the burnt tower just above their head. “A lot of things.”

Rin screw his eyes, he hadn’t paid attention to the dilapidated right wing of the second floor. “That was your parents’ rooms! What happened? What happened to them?”

“I knew your mother would never tell you. Come, we’re going to meet my parents. In the meanwhile tell me about your life. What have you been doing all these years?”

 

“Haru had always been a lonely child, but things had been worse after his parents died.” Ama told Sousuke as she was serving him tea. “And what a terrifying night.”

“Did they die in the fire?”

“Not really,” she told him. “No one really knows what happened that night. Goro, the gamekeeper, found the bodies bathed in their own blood with Haru unconscious in his mother’s arm. She must have been holding the candelabrum that had started the fire. Goro took Haru out of the flame, not even knowing if he was alive...it was a real miracle that he made it through.”

Suddenly Sousuke found out he wasn’t that thirsty for a cup of tea anymore.

“When the poor child woke up he recalled no memory of what happened. Not a thing had been stolen, yet the police first concluded to a nasty act of robbery. But Goro found wide tracks next to the manor, too wide to belong to a human being; he followed them until he reached the depth of the forest. He found nothing unfortunately; only bones, puddles of dried blood and howling. You must have heard the stories about the forest and the Beast living there I assume?”

“Do they come from that incident?” Sousuke asked, his voice weak.

“I'm afraid they do.”

“Do you believe in them? The beast in the woods, do you believe it killed your masters?”

Ama took her time to respond. She sat next to Sousuke and poured another cup of tea before taking it into her hands and blew on the steam. “You will find out most of the people here refuse to talk about the subject. Only Goro, Tomas the gardener and I have stayed after the incident, all the other are gone...traumatised...”

“It did not answer my question. Do you or Goro believe this version?”

Ama looked away, “I won't speak for Goro but on my behalf at first I did not believe in them. But the idea of robbers in the manor when I was sure I had lock the door...of course there was the broken window, they could have gotten in and out...and then there’s the howling and the huge tracks Goro found...they were too big to belong to a human.”

Sousuke studied the maid’s face, her hands, her ticks. She was frightened. Frightened by something she knew couldn't be real but existed indeed.

“So you believe it.”

“I do. What else if not? Poor Makoto, he’s really terrified by this story, but he refuses to leave his family or Haru behind. I would be glad if you don't bring up the subject with him or with Haru, for obvious reasons.”

Sousuke nodded silently and they finished their tea together.

 

Behind the maze there was a cliff facing the sea. With the help of his mentors Haru had chosen one grave for both of his parents. They rested peacefully under a giant tree.

“I heard some noise, a window being broken and my parents shouting,” he said after they offered their prayers. “I remember I came out of bed to see what was happening. The only thing I remember is the fire from the candelabrum. Then I woke up in my bed with Ama holding my hand. It was full of blood, full of their blood.”

“Haru, I am so sorry…”

“You don't have to be sorry for anything. Your mother probably thought it was wiser not to come back here after the incident, it's only understandable.”

“I should have come sooner. Haru, believe me,” Rin begged, “if I had known I would have-”

“Rin, it's okay. Now you are here. That’s all that matters to me.”

 

***

 

It turned out that no one had ever caught the Nanases’ murderers, and the ‘Beast’ theory became more than a simple rumour as years passed. Even the police, at some point, had to acknowledge the truth; no one saw the robbers and there was no sign of their fleed. The only possibility laid in the woods.

“You know how I hate monster theories.” Sousuke told Rin as he was showing him the view - they were in the living room, admiring the gardens.

“It’s only natural for a future surgeon such as you.”

“But you love them don’t you?”

Rin turned around as if he had been caught with his hands in the bag. “What?”

“Those stories,” Sousuke repeated. “I remember Gou telling me about the ones you told her when she was little - you frightened her more than once.”

“When did she tell you that?”

“Far too often.” Sousuke watched the green maze once more. “It’s a great garden, a work of art; who made it? Do you know perhaps?”

“Tomas the gardener, who is also Makoto’s father. Haru told me the rest of his family is in Edlington with their cook, they won’t be back before the bridge is repaired it seemed. I remembered we used to play hide and seek there. I even lost myself more than once.” Rin wore a nostalgic smile on his lips. “I think I’ll be enough of a fool to lose myself again in that maze.”

Sousuke grasped his shoulder. “Let’s hope you won’t.”

“What do you want to do?” Rin asked him out of the blue. His voice had changed suddenly, its tone was far more serious and the warmth of his childhood memories was gone. “We can go back to Cornetly or wait until the bridge is repaired.”

“Don’t you want to stay here a little bit? After all you’ve just reunite with your cousin.”

Rin screw his eyes. “It’s not about what I want. I brought you into this and I think I’ve asked you enough. If you want to leave and go back to Gou then I’ll follow you.”

“What are you talking about?”

Rin looked back at the maze. “Nothing. I just don’t want to impose anything to you anymore.”

The sky was getting darker as the night showed its first stars. “It’s getting too late to go back anyway.” Sousuke announced. “Let’s spend the night here and hope things will look better in the morning.”

Sousuke went off on his own to visit the other rooms, leaving Rin alone with the sight of the gardens. He ended up in the kitchen and was welcomed with the sight of a poor pheasant being beheaded with a sharp butcher knife. To his greatest surprise, it was the young master who was holding the knife.

“I haven’t had the privilege to introduce myself. I’m-”

“I know who you are. Rin told me.”

Haru cut the other pheasant’s head as coldly as he had cut off Sousuke’s sentence.

There was a minute or two when Sousuke didn’t know what to do or what to say, and it was a first for the young man. Rin’s cousin, the person he spoke so highly about, was ignoring him entirely, his eyes only focused on the fowl’s innards. Sousuke watched him, hypnotized by his precise movements as Haru took out the different organs one by one, his bare hands covered with the carcass’s blood.

“May I help? I’m studying to be a doctor and I-”

“I know. You can look if you want.”

Sousuke couldn’t finish super after seeing so precisely how it had been done. Not only was Haru a fine cook, but he had the potential of being one of the finest surgeon one day if he wanted to. His hands were agile and his cuts precise, without studying any kind of anatomy. Sousuke felt envious, for more than one reason.

 

***

 

“I apologize but I’ll have to leave you early tonight, the journey and the surprises I found along the way have exhausted me.” Rin said once everyone had finished dessert.

“It’s only understandable, we’re so happy to have you back!” Ama smiled as she took off his plate. “You know where your room is, I suppose.”

“Of course.”

“I’ll go with you.” Haru announced more than proposed.

After a glass of strong liquor Sousuke savored alone in the smoking room he decided to join his bed as well. It wasn’t that late, maybe just before eleven. Makoto was getting down from the first floor with a candelabrum in his hands.

“I hope you enjoyed your stay so far my lord,” he whispered politely. “We hadn’t have time to prepare anything for your arrival. I’m extremely sorry about that.”

“I’m afraid I’m not a lord as Rin or our master are. There’s nothing to apologize about, we should thank you for your hospitality.”

Makoto stopped by him. “I’m glad you think that way. Rin is part of the family it’s only natural that we give a roof when he needs one. They spent most of the day together, I hope you didn’t get bored.”

“Don’t worry about that. There were a lot of rooms to visit and a lot of thinking to be done. Plus, I saw your master preparing dinner. It took quite a while and was very instructive.”

Makoto sighed deeply at that comment, which tickled Sousuke’s sick curiosity. “What’s with that sigh?”

“Nothing. Nothing...It’s Haru. It’s just...He has changed so much since the incident. I hope...I hope your friend won’t be surprised in the bad way. Actually I hope Rin could bring back the old Haru we all knew, but maybe I’m asking for too much.”

 

Haru had given Rin the room he had spent so many nights during their childhood. The furniture was still the same : the large bed with a pink blanket, the massive cupboard where the few stuff he had with him were, the bookcase, the old paintings, even the chamber pot was at the very same place.

“Do you like it?” Haru asked him.

Rin looking above his shoulder. “Well, yes, why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s been a while. Your tastes could have changed.”

“A bedroom is a bedroom. As long as the mattress is fine...I don’t usually complain.”

Haru still had his hand on the door handle and looked like he was anxiously waiting for something, a reaction from Rin. “I...I did something. For you.”

“Huh?”

Rin turned around. There was a frame on the wall in front of the bed, a large rectangular frame with ten branches of dried pink flowers.

Rin was left speechless. “...That’s...is it…”

“They come from the sakura tree next to the lake. Each spring I took one off and made it dried so it could decorate your room next time you’d come. Remember how you always complained that you never saw the tree blossom since you only came in the summer?”

”...Haru, that’s-”

“Nothing. That's nothing.”

Rin was at loss of words and felt tears forming at the corner of his eyes. Sorrow hit his gut and when his eyes landed on Haru’s impassible face, his leg moved without his consent. He hugged him tighter than he would have done with anyone else and buried his face on the crook of his neck.

He didn't say a thing, neither did Haru. It took Rin all of his energy not to cry while Haru clumsily and timidly curled one of his arm around Rin’s shoulder and patted his back.

 

***

 

The burning sun reflected on the copper roof and forced young Rin and Gou to cover their eyes. Their mother was holding the little girl’s hand while Rin was proudly walking ahead with his father.

“Woa!” Rin ran off the pebbled path to the garden,”Look at all these flowers!”

“Rin sweety, stand close to your father’s steps please.”

“But mom! Look! There are sunflowers and pink peonies, and-”

“Do what your mother tells you Rin. You don't want to be rude when your aunt and uncle will welcome us.”

His father was firm but Rin remembered he never raised his voice. ”Plus you’ll have plenty of time to explore the gardens with you sister and cousin.”

Rin had already stopped listening; hidden behind a tree a pair of blue eyes caught his attention. Blue like the sky, still and unblinking like a statue, fixing onto him so intensely that the young boy felt out of place.

“Rin, are you coming?” His mother called him.

“Coming!” he shouted back. The eyes never left his. Rin was glad to run away from them.

They were welcomed by couple, a tall and elegant man and a frail short lady.

“Say hello to your aunt.”

She had blue eyes just like the ones in the garden, all redden and sending them daggers before his father spoke. Then, the next second she was smiling brightly and fondly stroking his hair.

There was a boy wearing a black suit just in front of the stairs. Rin ran up to him.”Hello! My name’s Rin. Are you my cousin Haruka?”

“Come on my boy, watch your language. And I'm afraid he’s not our Haruka.”

Rin looked disappointed, the boy was about his age and looked nice and sweet. “My name is Tachibana Makoto. My father is in charge of the gardens and my mother is a maid, we live here with my whole family.”

“The gardens? Then you must know everything about the flowers!” he added with such enthusiasm it caused the gardener’s son to blush. “You have to show me then. Can he, father?”

“We’re going to have to ask your aunt I'm afraid. But you’ll have time Rin, I already told you we’ll be staying here the whole summer.”

“Toraichi, you have such a vivid boy.” His uncle commented.

“Thank you, but I'm afraid he took all of his quality from his mother.” Toraichi said with a smile. “Speaking about the children, where is your son?”

Rin saw his uncle sighed deeply as if he was in pain. “I don't know. I have no idea of what my son is doing most of the time. He’s quiet and solitary, likes to play alone in the garden with a imaginary friend more than with others children. I wish…” he said while looking at Rin. “...nevermind, forget what I said.”

“Haru’s in the maze, playing hide and seek.” Makoto told them.

Haruka’s father sighed again. “Alone, who will come and find him?”

“I will!”

Rin ran out by the French windows and threw himself inside the green maze. The plants were young but so was he, and at 6 year old the leaves were already above his head so that the poor boy quickly got lost.

“Wait! Rin!” he heard Makoto calling him, but he could pinpointed where it came from. Then all the adults’ voices called his name, in vain. Stubbornly, Rin decided that even if he was a little bit scared of spending the rest of his days lost in the maze, moving forward was the best solution. Thus he ran again, ahead, and went on until his peripheral vision caught sight of the blue eyes again. They made him stop in his track.

“Hey!”

Rin called the child hidden behind the leaves but it only made him flee.

“Hey!!” he called again, louder, and ran after the child.

He spotted him again at another carrefour. “I'm lost, could you help me?”

The boy ran away again. “...so annoying…”

After playing cat and mouse for a couple of minutes, Rin finally reached him. The boy had stopped in the middle of an alley and it seemed that he was waiting for him. Rin stopped, breathless, just in front of him. “Ha...ha...you just...could you help me…”

“Rin!!”

To his surprise his mother hugged him close to her chest, he was out of the maze. “We were so scared! We couldn't find you!”

“I took him out of the maze.” The boy said. “You shouldn't run like that without knowing where you're going. Be more careful next time.”

“Oh thank you Haruka for saving my sweet boy! He’ll be more careful next time I promise. Won't you, my sweet sweet boy.”

The blue eyed child was his cousin then, it was Haruka who helped him out in the end. Rin turned his head away from his mother’s kisses to thank him properly, only to find these eyes staring at him again and then, looking away the moment their eyes met. “Ah, hum, thank you and, hum, I'm sorry.”

“It's nothing,” Haruka replied softly. He walked to his father’s legs and hid behind.

“My name’s-”

“Rin, I know, and your sister is called Gou. You are my cousin and cousine.”

“Haruka we already talked about this. Don't be so shy, greet them properly.”

But Haruka had only eyes for the ground as his father disputed him. There was no warmth in his voice, Rin noticed, he didn't speak like his father and he felt sad for Haruka. Seeing him still unmoving from behind his father’s leg Rin took the initiative to reach him and made the first step of what should be a long friendship.  After all, they were from the same family and were supposed to spend the whole summer together.

“Next time, let's play together okay?”

Haruka lifted his head but not enough to meet his eyes.

“Admit it was more fun than playing alone, wasn't it?”

Rin drew out his best smile. Haruka looked at him briefly but lowered his gaze immediately after that.

 

Rin often dreamed about the day they had met. He still wondered sometimes if the blush his eyes saw on Haru’s face was part of his imagination or of reality, just like those Sakura branches just above the door frame. Were they real? Did Haru really think of him every spring and came through all the process of drying his favourite flowers and put them in this room, waiting for him to return?

There were ten branches...ten years had passed...Rin felt so ashamed.

 

He couldn't sleep that night. Too many emotions, too many memories, of Haru, of his father, and the weather outside...it was still raining cats and dogs and due to the fire that had damaged the second floor the wind blew inside the manor, and the sound of it at times resembled the howling of a wolf, accompanied by the sound of raindrops falling on the roof resonated in the staircase. Add the thunder to the whole picture and…

 

“HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!”

 

Sousuke woke up with a start. A woman’s cry pierced into the night coming just above his head. _‘The second floor?’_ he thought, and ran to the staircase. He was soon joined by Makoto and his father and the three of them discovered the scene before their eyes.

The maid was on her knees, pale and sweating. Her bottom lip was trembling and her eyes were wide opened, empty of any emotions but fear.

“Ama!” Tomas ran to her side.

“What’s happening?”

Haru came in his pyjamas behind Ama’s back and knelt to her side.

“I don't know, we just arrived. We were alarmed by her scream.”

“Go….go…”

“Is everyone alright?” Rin came as well, running in the stairs. “I heard someone screaming.”

“Go….go…” Ama stammered, still as pale as the moonlight.

Haru put his hand on each of her shoulder. “It's alright. No one is hurt.”

“Go...Ghost.”

Everyone remained still, except Sousuke who rolled his eyes.

“Ghost...I saw his ghost...Rin come here my boy…”

Hesitantly, Rin came closer and knelt in front of Ama. “I'm right here,” he said after clearing his throat.

“I saw him….your father...I just saw his ghost…just there.” Her trembling arm pointed behind his back at the other end of the burnt corridor where started the Nanase’s wing.

His eyes widened, “You what?”

But Ama didn't have the chance to answer his request as she fell unconscious into her Master’s arms.

 

 

 


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the story as if the manor was a character on its own. I even wrote it with a M at the beginning but in the end I decided it was just a fancy and futile author thing and dropped the capital letter...I don't know if I should have gone with this fantaisy of mine, we'll never know!  
> In this story Ama sensei is called Ama (sounds like Ema) and Makoto"s father is called...Tomas, which I agree with you is pretty logical. The name is a reference to the camellias (I'll let you look what kind of reference it is!)

**Warning** : mention of religion

 

* * *

 

# Chapter II

 

 

It was part of Makoto’s habits to pace back and forth when a contrariety occurred. With his hands linked behind his back he was walking in circles in front of Ama’s room.

“With yesterday’s tempest the road to Edlington will be impractical for at least a few days,” his father said. He was sitting on a chair by the front door. “It's a chance for Ama that Rin’s friend is studying medicine.”

“I hope mother and the twins are okay.”

“By chance, as I was inspecting the bridge , a merchant from Edlington arrived on the other side. I sent him a message for your mother to inform her about the situation. I'm hoping for an answer by tomorrow.”

Inside the room Sousuke was checking Ama’s pulse regularly as well as her breathing and pupils. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary but it seemed the maid liked to play Sleeping Beauty. She certainly had lost consciousness after experiencing a great fear and nothing more, but what had she seen that scared her that much? Sousuke had no doubt about Rin’s father’s trespassing, and that regardless of what his friend thought; but he had also seen enough corpses to know that dead men do not come back to haunt their families.

Anxious eyes awaited him when he finally left the sicken. “She’ll be fine,” he told them. In reply, Makoto let out a sigh of content, pleased to hear that Ama would be alright.

“How is Rin?” Sousuke demanded.

“Still in the living room with master Haru. They haven't slept or spoken a word since the incident.” Makoto replied.

Sousuke found them on the sofa with Haru’s arm around Rin’s shoulder, his thumb caressing his arm. He looked utterly lost in his own world, as if he couldn't believe a word that had been spoken by Ama before she collapsed.

Sousuke knelt in front of him. “Rin, can you hear me?”

“His ears are working fine.”

This was not why he had asked but Sousuke had a feeling their host took everything at first degree. “Have you talked to him?” He asked instead. 

“A little bit. He was thirsty and I brought him some tea. He slept shortly on my shoulder around four o’clock.” Haru answered.

“Tell me, how close are you?”

Haru’s gaze left Rin’s face for a moment.

“I mean,” Sousuke went on, “Not right now, I mean not physically speaking but-”

“Why do you ask?”

In truth it was, maybe, none of his business; and Rin might have answered the same way or even more violently. Haru’s voice was never loud but his tone and coldness were enough to make a man like Sousuke uneasy. Haru was playing with his own rule, and he would have to learn or to play along if he wanted to reach his goal and help Rin.

There was no doubt about a certain fondness they had for each other - it was  as plain as daylight just  by  the way they  looked  at each other - but to be honest Sousuke was very surprised to see how docile Rin was with someone else after what happened last night. He who usually  fled  to hide his emotion had rushed  to  Haru’s side as soon as Sousuke left him.

“I'm just curious. I'm his friend, I worry about him a lot too.”

Still caressing Rin’s arm, Haru stared at him with something unreadable on his face - a chill ran down his spine when Sousuke remembered when he had seen that look, and it was that time when Haru had cut the pheasant innards in front of him. “Then he’ll be alright if we both look after him.”

“Tsk, are you jealous, Sousuke?”

A rare sinister laugh escaped from Rin’s lips. “You happy now? You were right for my dad, he’s dead.”

“Rin-” 

“I'm okay. I’ll be okay.”

“You should come back to your room,” Haru offered. “I’ll bring you some tea if you’d like.”

Rin straightened his back, “Thank you but it’ll be alright. Say Haru, do you mind if I talk with my friend in private? We have some important matters to settle.”

Haru nodded and reluctantly took off his arm from around Rin. He then blew and announced he’d be in the kitchen preparing breakfast if they were to look for him.

 

“Don't tell him, but I hate his tea.” Rin told Sousuke as they walked back told the first floor. “It's a shame, he now owns one of the most well known tea company of the British Empire and yet he still doesn’t know how to infuse tea properly.”

Sousuke remembered Tomas told him about the Nanase empire during dinner. Before his death, Haruka's father had owned the Nanase's Dark Leaves, a company selling black tea coming from India, which was said to be Queen Victoria's favorite. Even if it was just a rumor the belief had provied the Nanases with a great forture within the years.

“Admit you’d rather have something stronger at the moment.” Sousuke told his friend to cheer him up.  


Rin smirked. He’d be alright.

Rin went directly to bed when they reached her room. He was glad Sousuke didn’t comment on the Sakura branches even if his eyes fell directly on them when he closed the door - he knew they were his favourite.

“How is Ama?” Rin asked him.

“Unharmed, but still sleeping.” Sousuke sat at the edge of the bed. “You’ll have to wait a little bit if you want to talk to her I'm afraid.”

Secured under the pair of pink blankets Rin let his sorrow out at last. “I know what you are thinking, but I still refuse to believe it,” he said between sobs. “Until I see his dead body...I'll never accept…”

“It's okay,”

“Sousuke, I have one last favour to ask of you.”

“Of course we’ll stay here, as long as it takes to untangle this mystery.” Sousuke replied. 

Taken by surprise Rin gasped. “How did you-”

“You are so predictable, my friend…”

Sousuke knew how vital finding out what happened to his father was for Rin. It was the reason why he had travelled through Europe and how they had met. During those three years, he had tried to gather information from France, Italy, Germany and Prussia; his search had been in vain until now. To think he had to go back to Aberdeen…

Sousuke only left when Rin demanded him to - he always asked for some privacy during his prayers. He hadn't told him but his curiosity was also a factor as for why Sousuke had decided to stay. There were too many holes and mysteries around this place: the murder of Haruka’s parents, the fire, the killers still on the run, a ‘beast’ hiding in the woods and on top of that, Toraichi Matsuoka’s ghost’s dramatic entrance. 

One thing was for sure, Sousuke never believed in ghosts’ stories.

 

***

 

The following day around noon, the gardener came back with a letter from Edlington. Makoto’s family and the cook were fine and had found hospitality inside the Church, the news easing part of the tension reigning inside the manor. According to the authorities, the bridge would be traversable within a few days at the most, which left enough time for Sousuke to investigate. But where to start? Collecting informations about what happened ten years ago seemed like the good approach, but to who? Makoto and Haruka were too young to remember anything relevant, it left the domestics who were already there at the time of the tragedy. Some of them were out of reach for a couple of days and the maid was still unconscious...the only ones left were then Tomas Tachibana and the man named Goro, the gamekeeper, who had yet to be seen.

Just like he thought the gardener was pruning the red flowers at the front gate. 

“I have to say these are amazingly pretty.” Sousuke commented. “I've been to different countries and even in Asia once and I've never seen such a deep red colour so close to winter.” He complimented.

“Oh, thank you my lord.”

“I'm not a lord, just a friend of one.”

Tomas smiled - father and son were alike, Sousuke thought. “Then I'm sorry Sir. This is a very rare kind of camelia my late master brought back from one of his trip to Japan. Usually Japanese camellias bloom from February to April but these ones seem to be early. We're in the middle of November and half of the buds have already opened.”

“I don't know much about flowers , to be honest,” Sousuke confessed, “I care more about human beings.”

“So I've heard. Your were there by chance when Ama...fell.” Tomas said after swallowing. “When I think about it...the unexpected storm and bridge being destroyed...it's almost as if your arrival was fate.”

A shiver of disgust ran down Sousuke’s spine; if there was a word he hated more than ‘ghosts’ stories’ it was the word ‘fate’.

“It's...intriguing, to say the least,” there was maybe a breach he could exploit, “I'm not accustomed to the area like Rin is ,  but I've heard a lot of intriguing stories back in Cornetly.”

“Ha, you've met the Duke,” Tomas said with a hint of bitterness he didn't think was important to hide it seemed. “I'm surprised you rode to Aberdeen then.”

“Well, you know Rin, don't you? He kind of always gets what he wants...but why are you so surprised?”

Sousuke remembered the Duke’s warnings and Gou’s worry before they left, but merely thought they were nourished by the rumors surrounding the woods.

“Well, you see the Duke doesn't really like this place and hates the woods more than the Welsh - and that's saying something.” 

Tomas put down his pruner and went back on his feet. “May I ask you what you were doing at Cornetly?”

Sousuke nodded. “You might as well  be  informed since you've known Gou since she was as child, and I know Rin won't be mad at me for breaking the news, but the little sister is to become the Duke’s wife.”

The gardener couldn't believe his ears, and asked for the complete story of their journey as they walked through the immensity of the gardens. Even without going into the green maze, there were high chance for Sousuke to get lost.

“Well since you told me your story, as a man of honor I have to tell you mine,” the gardener said with a solemn tone. “Keep that to yourself, but the Duke’s little brother had been murdered in the woods, a couple of years ago.”

Sousuke halted. “Another murder?” He couldn't refrain his surprise, what was the problem in these lands?

“I remember we went with Goro to lend him a hand when his brother mysteriously disappeared. Now that I think about it it had been raining a lot a few days prior so that any traces were lost. We found his body...or rather what remained of it. It had been eaten by the animals living in the forest.”

Sousuke could have puked if he hadn't been used to seeing dead bodies “How horrible…”

“Since the body was too damaged it was impossible for the police to come to a conclusion. How did the youngest Mikoshiba brother die? Was it an accident? Had he been attacked by a wild animal or worse...was it the Beast’s doing?”

There again, the ‘beast’ theory. “Or it could be murder.”

Tomas sent him a dark glare. “There was no reason for the poor boy to be murdered, he wasn’t the heir after all. Plus we couldn’t find any traces of a human being in the wood at that time, or wound that could have been caused by one. It was only...shred flesh…”

They posed near a giant oak where Tomas threw up his breakfast.

 

“I wasn't there when the bodies were found but Goro saw some similarities between the young Mikoshiba and our Masters’ murders.” The gardener went on. “That's when we definitely admitted that, whatever killed the Nanase's, it lived in the woods. There have been a few others cases of bodies being found, and some people from Edlington are still missing. If you have more questions about it you should go there as soon as the bridge is repaired. You could also ask Goro about it but I doubt he will share anything with you...he’s not the talkative type of person.”

They had returned to the main entrance for tea time. “And do you know where I can find the person whom you address as Goro?”

“Usually he spends most of his type in his hut, or hunting with Haruka. But-”

“Hunting?” Sousuke repeated, “In the woods?” How come the gamekeeper dared to adventure in the woods with his young master when he believed the Beast which killed his parents dwells in there?

“We have our own hunting ground, don’t worry about it. Truth is, Master Haru loves hunting, and...we never told him about the Beast, or about the others murders it had committed.”

It appeared Haruka never left the manor since his parents died - maybe he never left it at all. He never went to any cities or village and the only news he had from the outside world came from his domestics, which had purposely omitted any information that could have made old memories to resurface in order to protect what they called his ‘fragile mental health.’

Sousuke didn’t think Haruka was that much fragile, he was just a little bit different but he hadn’t spent his life looking after him so who was he to judge?

 

***

 

_ “Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum, Benedicta tu in mulieribus ; Et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Jesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora pro nobis, peccatoribus, Nunc, et in ora mortis nostræ. Amen.” _

With these words Rin kissed the cross of his rosary hanging around his neck and got off the prie-dieu. He put his statue of Mary back on his bed table and met Sousuke in the smoking room.

The latter hid his cigar as soon as he spotted his best friend in the room. “Ha, caught you.”

“Ordinary people knock on a door before coming in.” Sousuke cursed.

“Then I’m no ordinary people I guess.”

Sousuke used to say how toxic a cigar could be after seeing so many black lungs during autopsia, but one night he got drunk with wine and whiskey, and a Duke from Norway offered him one and he couldn’t refuse. Since then, as the man he was, Sousuke had been addicted.

Rin of course, to make everything easier, never smoked anything in his life. 

“Have you found out anything new while I was asleep?”

“Quite a few actually, I have some question for you. You might be more helpful than you think.”

Rin tried to recall who was working in the manor back at the time but only a few names came into mind. To Sousuke’s surprise, only the ones they had met yesterday had been there ten years ago. But there were still the others who had left...why? Had they seen something they wanted to forget?

They moved in front of the French windows, Rin wanted to enjoy the view of the falling sun with his evening glass of whiskey. He looked pensive as his gaze overlooked the maze.

“Do you believe in that story?” Sousuke asked him.

“Which one?”

“The Beast one.”

“You don’t.” Rin replied

“It’s hardly an answer, coming from you...since you didn’t reply directly, I guess your opinion will offend mines so I’ll just have to conclude that at least you do not reject that hypothesis. Which disappoints me.” Sousuke admitted.  


“To each their own, Sousuke.” Rin said, taking a sip of whiskey and let the alcohol burn his throat. “To each their own...You know, my father hated that place.”

Sousuke straightened his back. “You never mentioned it.”

“I hardly mentioned my dad before.” Rin turned around and gave him a smile. “But since we’re staying because of his ‘ _ghost_ ’ you might as well know about it. It had always belonged to our family but since my father hated it he gave it to his older sister as a wedding gift. It seemed she hated it too, unfortunately. When I was still a child I heard both of them saying that there was something ominous on these lands.”

Sousuke’s eyes fell on Rin’s rosary.

“My aunt even said once that this manor was cursed. My uncle did everything he could so that my aunt could like this place. He built the green maze, dug the lake, planted wonderful flowers he got from all around the world...but it was never enough. And since Haru had always been fragile they never left Aberdeen Hall...poor aunt. She died in the place she hated the most.”

Sousuke studied Rin’s face pensively. There was so much nostalgia emanating from it, as if the numerous memories he had kept inside his heart were resurfacing all together. It’s strange that childhood memories were never really the same when seen with adult's eyes. “You think the Beast punished her because she didn’t like her home?”

“Don’t be silly,” Rin scowled. “It wouldn’t explain why my uncle died as well. It does not explain my father’s death either…”

It was then decided to dig into the Nanase’s past and look for a suitable mobile. Sousuke was very interested by their financial situation while Rin seemed to be obsessed with their way of life, as if their sins could have explained their mysterious deaths. Even if it could still be true, Sousuke knew he was not looking for the good killer. But Rin believed in Hell and Heaven, and so he believed in the Beast as much as he believed in God.

“I’ll send a letter to mother and to Gou, to see if she remembers anything suspicious that year. Mother never wanted us to come back, there’s maybe a reason behind that...” Rin cupped his chin, “Maybe...what’s that sound?”

From the other side of the floor someone was playing the violin, and not any pieces of violin - one of the hardest, one of Rin’s favourite piece if not his favourite, Sousuke noticed. He was then nothing but surprised to see Haru playing virtuously in front of the gates, facing the red Camellias. Rin had nearly run after the noise. He used to play violin too, Sousuke recalled him talking about lessons with his father...when he was younger...when he was still visiting Aberdeen Hall.

They used to play together, didn’t they?

They waited until Haru finished - he was playing without partition, without tempo, and the notes were right every time, and it was beautiful; the kind of beauty which couldn’t be described in words, the one only true Art could make.

Sousuke applauded, but Rin didn’t; he was stuck, frozen in his thoughts or maybe in the past. This place held too many violent memories; no wonder, knowing Rin, why he had never spoken about it before. Maybe they shouldn’t have came in the end. Nothing good came out of the past, Sousuke’s mother had once told him.

 

***

 

The next day Sousuke looked for Goro Sasabe but found his hut closed. He had been knocking for at least fifteen minutes when the gardener's son came to him. “That won’t do,” Makoto said. “Goro went to Treston to prepare for the winter. We will need more wood and munitions before the snow covers the roads.”

How inconvenient, every person that could have helped them understand what had happened ten years ago where away or in a coma. There was definitely something wrong going on in the manor.

 

As for Rin he had spent the whole morning at Ama’s side. Haru joined him around eleven as soon as lunch was ready.

“Why are you staying there? She’s asleep.”

Rin was holding her hand. “To take care of her. I want her to know that I’m here and that it’s going to be okay.”

“You don’t know about that.”

“I do,” Rin said, caressing Ama’s pendant representing the Holy Mary, resting around her neck. “I pray for her.”

Haru remained silent as Rin whispered another Ave Maria.

“She can’t hear you, you know.” he said then.

Rin left a kiss on her forehead. “What her ears can’t hear her soul listens to.”

The sun outside cut with the gloomy atmosphere weighed on the Manor since Toraichi’s ghost’s apparition. After having a cup of tea, Rin proposed that they went outside to enjoy the fresh air and the scent of the flowers and Haru agreed. They passed by Tomas and walked to the green maze. Where else? Rin loved that place. He loved it so much for all the memories he had there. He loved to get lost in there so that Haru could find him and get him out of here. That’s how they became friend, after all.

“Let’s see if I remember this correctly…”

“Rin, wait!”

He started running ahead until he reached the end of the green corridor. The beginning wasn’t that complicated to remember, once right then left, then two times right but after ten years his memories were blurry. It was so easy to get lost in there, so easy to play with Haru again...it was like they had never been apart.

After a few minutes of wandering Rin surrendered. He walked to an intersection and shouted, “I’m lost!”, and then scrutinized the hedges searching for a pair of blue eyes. Haru appeared quite quickly this time on his right, he was barely hiding himself behind the hedge. “Got you.” Rin said. He ran to him just as he did in the past and all these forgotten memories left in him a feeling of happiness he hadn’t felt in ages. Rin wanted to smile, to laugh, he wanted to feel how he felt twelve year ago again and to just play in the grass. Haru got a little mischievous, leading him to impasse with a smile that only reached his eyes at first but then, Rin remembered the way and tricked him. He snuck behind a hedge and jumped on him, scaring Haru to death and he laughed.

They were breathless when they reached the centre of the maze. There was a fountain where Haru liked to idle and where his mother, deep in thought, used to sit and contemplate the sculpture representing an angel and its mother flying to reach the sky. Usually, in his youth Haru would stared without blinking at the water pouring out of the fountain but not today. His eyes were just for Rin, and Rin noticed. 

They weren’t twelve anymore, or at least Rin wasn’t; he had travelled far from home, he had met people, learnt things, discovered Faith and sinned, he had had experiences that had changed him but he never forgot about Haru, about his eyes, about what it felt to be with him. Things had stayed the same, and some new appeared, there was something in these blue eyes that wasn’t there before, or was it the opposite? Was there something missing, did it happen after Haru’s parents died?

The run exhausted him; Rin felt his lids falling on their own and he yawned.

“Come here,” Haru said. They sat on the grass with their back against the fountain, and Rin leaned on Haru’s shoulder, and he fell asleep just like that, while Haru caressed the lock of his hair that got on his face.

 

***

 

“From now on you will play the violin my son!”

“I don’t want to father! I want to play the piano like sister!”

“Piano is for girls,” Toraichi said.

“Just admit you can’t play the piano darling,” his mother said while brushing Gou's hair. “Rin can have Gou’s teacher. She’s excellent and you know it.”

Rin was pouting, crossing his arms against his chest while defying his father’s glance.

His father sighed at the sight. “Rin, my son, come here…”

He brought him to his secret room, the one where even his mother couldn’t go, and soon Rin understood why. It was full of treasures. Tiny object that looked old or broken and totally out of use. Mother would have never permitted to display them in any other room that this one.

On the wall there were two violins hanged and a photograph. Toraichi caught it, “This is the very first photograph our parents took of us,” he told Rin. “Look, this is your aunt.”

Rin took the picture in his hands. “You’re both playing the violin.”

Toraichi nodded. “She was way better than I was but I wasn’t bad. It’s difficult at first but violin is really something beautiful. Listen.”

There were wrong notes since it had been a long time for Toraichi but overall Rin was charmed by the sound the violin made. He tried for months to make that sound again with his father’s help, in vain.

It wasn’t until they came back to Aberdeen the next summer that Rin took violin seriously.

Well, he was taking Haru seriously, and since his cousin was just as talented as his mother then Rin had no other choice than to be just as good, or at least to try to be.

When it was rainy outside the three of them played some counting rhythm with Gou playing the piano - Rin found out Haru could also play that instrument and got annoyed just thinking about it, he got Gou teaching him the basic. They were never bored. Playing music, running in the garden, and of course there was the lake.

Rin had so many precious memories under the Sakura tree.

“Sometimes I wish you could be there more often.”

“Yes! I wish I could come in Spring too,” he told Haru one afternoon. “I wish I could see the Sakura blossoms. I can only imagine how pretty it is.”

Haru’s eyes left the tree to end on Rin’s face. “I like red better. Vibrant red.”

 

“Rin, Rin wake up.”

He remembered this day so brightly while dreaming but as soon as his eyes opened the memories evaporated like steam on glass.

“It’s getting chilly. I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

Haru gave him his coat, and they returned to the smoking room. The warmth coming from the woollen cloth made Rin’s head dizzy. Or was it because of all the memories?

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haru's probably playing Tchaikoski violon concerto...tbh I'm not that good with violin concerto, but it had to be something romantic since it's Rin's favorite piece! I listened to some Pagganini pieces but I don't think Rin would have loved them more (Haru, on the other hand, probably!)


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning :  
> Small mention of Religion and homophobia

# Chapter 3

 

* * *

 

_*BANG*_

Sousuke was, once again, awaken by the subtle and delicious noise of a gunshot. He could tell without hesitation that it was a few minutes before eight o’clock, master Haruka’s usual time for hunting. Since it was their principal source of supply Sousuke couldn’t complained. It became, like a lot of new things and despite himself, part of their routine. In four days things hadn’t been very different. Everything was moving very slowly, as if time had frozen until the bridge got repaired. One thing supporting this theory was Ama’s state of health, which had remained perfectly stable; she hadn’t moved a single muscle since she lost consciousness. Everyone was waiting for something to happen. Sousuke for a reply from Gou, Rin from his mother, the Tachibanas were waiting for their dear ones to come back and Haruka...Sousuke didn’t know what he was waiting for. He was the only one who seemed happy about the situation.

Sousuke took down the stair to the kitchen with frustration running in his veins. He had made no progress in his investigation. The gamekeeper had refused to open his door - ‘ _Get the bloody hell out of my hut boy!’_ he had yelled, just like Tomas had told him - and with Ama still asleep his only confident had been Tomas and his son. But none of them remembered the family to have any enemies or any financial problem. Truth was, Sousuke couldn’t see any, since the Nanase’s tea company was still flourishing.

“By the way,” he asked Tomas during his morning walk, “Who’s in charge of the company since the death of Lord Nanase?” Sousuke doubted Haru had any ability to run something so big.

Tomas was busy in the northern part of the garden, just next to the maze. “Our late Lord’s cousin, Russell Robinson, who he had served with in the past. Everything had been arranged long ago in case something happened to the Nanases before Haru came off age.” Tomas told him. “Technically speaking Master Haruka still owns everything but he refused to take any part in his late father’s business. His 22th birthday came quicker than we expected. Time flies so fast!”

Sousuke wanted to object but something caught his curiosity. “His 22th birthday?”

Tomas left the flowers to look up to Sousuke instead. “Each anniversary had been the same since Haruka reached majority. Mr Robinson would come all the way from London to meet him and propose that he takes the reign of his father’s company for good. And each time, Haruka refuses...but this year was different thought.” He stood up and stirred his back. “Mister Robinson was quite upset because of our Master’s stubbornness. He gave him an ultimatum.”

At last! Something new to learn. Sousuke could feel the ants in his  pants. “Which was?” he asked, earner to know.

“That if after five years of reflexion Haruka still refuses to take over the Nanase’s tea Leaf company then Mister Russell would be declared his true owner, and claim for himself all the benefice, of course. I know Russell a bit, he is not a bad man but just like the rest of us he adored our old master and Haruka’s indifference...frustrates him.” Tomas went on. “He wanted to shake him to see how he would react, but we were all disappointed in the end. Haruka didn't seem to be more invested than before. The threat is still running, and next June will come faster than we think…”

That was another interesting news, delicious to Sousuke’s ears. “So this year is important for Haruka.”

“And for all of us,” Tomas added. “To be honest we have no idea of how Haruka will react...he never talks about the company, or about his wealth, not even of his father. We have tried to teach him the basic of finance but he seemed...pensive, at the most.”

“You mean he wasn’t listening to a word you said.” Sousuke rectified.

Tomas smiled fondly, “Well, Haruka is Haruka, but as deeply as we love him, none of us can picture him at the head of such a big company. The best thing would be that Lord Nanase’s cousin, Russell Robinson, keep the presidency and give Haruka an honorific distinction...but it’s not our biggest problem right now.”

 

Sousuke had none but one rule: every case of murder answered to the same logic, and the motive was always part of what Sousuke called the holy trinity of crime: love, money, vengeance. It turned out very differently from what he had anticipated but the Nanase’s fortune was most likely at the core of their slaughter, or at least it made way more sense than a mystical creature living in the bottom of the forest.

“And how about that Mister Robinson? Does he ever enter into contact with Lord Nanase apart from his annual visit, or with any of you?” It seemed difficult to imagine Haruka interacting with someone he barely knew about such a big society.

“Ah, you know how to pinpoint people quickly. Of course Haruka lives in his own world...but Mister Robinson writes us a lot, actually, and sometimes he would come here unannounced one or twice within the year. He usually have a talk with Goro, the gamekeeper, since they are brothers-in-law. Mister Robinson married Goro’s sister.” Tomas added when he saw the deep frown on Sousuke’s face.

Those information made the whole picture more blurry than when they first arrived in the Hall. “I’d really like to have a discussion with your gamekeeper,” Sousuke said, “But he obstinately refused to open me the door last time I tried.”

Tomas gave him a strange look, but then smiled again. “Well, maybe next time?”

 

***

 

Meanwhile on the first floor, the butler and Rin were washing Ama’s tired body. After her legs, Makoto moved to her arms while Rin rub her hair.

“I can’t wait for the twins to come back,” Rin said calmly. “Last time i saw them they were not even reaching my hips. They must have grown so much.”

“I can’t wait either. I’m scared all the time when they are not around. What if something happens to them?”

“Well, they aren’t alone, are they?” Rin smiled, he knew too well how hard it was to be the big brother. “Your mother is looking after them.”

“I know, I know…”

Rin massages Ama’s neck and they stopped there, waiting for another woman to complete the ablutions. “So, how is life here? We barely had time to talk since we arrived.”

“You spent all of your days with your friend or with Haru, how could we?” Makoto scowled.

“Is that a reproach?”

“Ha, no, don’t worry.” Makoto dried Ama’s limbs and put down the towel on the chair where he sat. “I’m really happy that you came back. I was afraid you’d changed, or that Haru would have too much for your taste but things are just going back to normal...I’m glad.”

Rin rinsed his hand in the basin next to him. “Makoto, can I ask you something?”

By the tone of it Makoto was taken aback, why did Rin speak so seriously all of a sudden?

“It’s...Haru, has he changed that much? Everybody keeps saying things like that but to me he’s...he’s nearly the same.”

“Rin, look, it’s-”

“I’m afraid that I’m missing something, or that he’s hiding something from me-”

“Rin.”

Makoto handed him the towel so that he could do something with his two hands and forget his internal turmoil. “Rin, he isn’t hiding you anything. Haru’s just happy whenever you’re near. He’s good when you’re here.”

He thought these words would ease his old friend’s mind, but they had the opposite effect. Rin sat gravely on the chair next to Ama’s bed, his eyes set on her sleeping face. “You’ve seen the sakura branches in my room I guess.”

Makoto smiled fondly. “I helped him to put them here. He insisted he should the one doing it though.”

“Every year...he... and on the other hand what have I done?”

Rin hid his face on the palm of his hands. Afraid he’d start crying, Makoto knelt on his side. “You’ve done marvelous things. You have travelled through all the continent.”

“That’s right. I did things for myself, and I did nothing for Haru, not even sent him a letter. During these ten years he never once forgot about me, and he kept waiting and hoping and I, on the other hand, I just left home and did thing for my sake and I forgot about this place. I forgot and him, I forgot about the lake, the maze, I forgot about Aberdeen and everything linked to it.”

“Rin your father had just died, it’s only understandable-”

“Makoto did you listen to me?” Rin nearly yelled. “I _forgot_ about him.”

There was no word Makoto to add after the violence of Rin’s tone. His words pained him so much, the disappointment coming of your own mistakes was always harsher to take. If only Haru had done the same maybe it wouldn’t have had that much importance but after seeing the flowers, and his eyes, the way they looked at him…

“I thought it was better to forget about him. Can you believe it? It didn’t last long, only for a couple of months but there had been a time when I didn’t think about him at all. After all, it was just wrong, I was just trying to make things easier for every one, right?”

Makoto frowned, “What are you talking about?”

But Rin never replied. After a while his eyes were back on Ama and the locket around her neck holding the image of the Holy Mary.

 

***

 

Sousuke tried again to speak to Goro, but no one replied when he knocked and the door was locked. Defeated, he walked reluctantly, passed the lake and went up on the hill where the manor was built. As he was getting closer he heard a horse coming and gave it some space. Haruka chose the same moment to come back from the hunt, with a couple of partridges.

“Would you come with me?” he demanded.

Sousuke was so surprised that he didn’t understand Haruka was speaking to him until he asked a second time. He followed him to the kitchen where Haruka put the partridges on the table and took off his gloves. He didn’t say anything after that. He didn’t need to; they were expecting the rest of the Tachibana’s family and the manor’s cook, and Haruka couldn’t prepare lunch for everyone alone. But rather than asking his butler he chose Sousuke, he chose Rin’s friend, he chose the surgeon to cut down in the flesh.

Sousuke was more than honored, and was almost going to thank the host for the opportunity when Haruka gave him the butcher knife. When he saw Sousuke refused to cut off the partridges’ heads when some were still alive, Haruka beheaded every single one of them with a methodical and sharp bow.

The rest of the preparation couldn’t have been better. Haruka gave him very precise instruction and his knowledge of the animal’s anatomy really impressed Sousuke - humans and birds weren’t that different after all. Without realizing it time fled, and as soon as the poultry got into the oven a loud clash announced the arrival of the rest of the household.

Haruka immediately turned around and was ready to run to greet its people but there was still all the cleaning to do.

“I’ll take care of that. Go welcome them. You’re the master after all, aren’t you?”

Haruka stood still for a moment as if he didn’t expect Sousuke’s help, and didn’t know what to do with it. After a while his shoulders relaxed, and he thanked him quickly before joining the hall.

He realized too late how strange it must be for Haruka to behave in front of him. The young master had never left Aberdeen Hall and since a few people only came to visit through the years after the tragedy, to him Sousuke might be the first stranger he’d seen in, what, years? There was no doubt he was doing extra effort because of Rin but truth was, Haruka was doing rather well. He wasn’t the frail little boy his household thought he was, Sousuke was convinced of that.

 

 

“Mother!”

Makoto ran down the stairs, closely followed by Rin, and took his mother in his arm before lifting her in the air. The twins then hugged their big brother; Rin couldn’t believe his eyes, they have grown up so much ! Ran was now a real lady and Ren, well, he would soon be as tall as his father and brother.

“Rin! Look how tall you have become! What a fine man you are…” Makoto’s mother, Georgina, punched his cheek. “Why can’t any of my boys stay sweet and young?”

“I promise I’ll always be sweet to you.” Rin answered with a charming smile.

“Oh, please, Rin, do me a favor; tell me you’re not engaged yet!”

To that the assembly laughed, except Ran, who discreetly kicked her mother’s foot - it seemed she wasn’t ready to get married yet.

“Rin, I’m sorry I can’t stay with you more than I would like at the moment, I have to unpack and find my husband to relief his from his worry. Before going, may I introduce you to Nagisa, our cook, and to Father Ryuugazaki.”

All dress in black with a white collar and a wide golden cross hanging around his neck and falling to his stomach, Rin figured out the man belonged to the new Free Church of Scotland. Father Ryuugazaki looked grave and austere until his eyes, hidden behind round spectacles, found Rin’s rosary. They shared a firm and strong handshake.

“It’s a pleasure, Father.”

“The pleasure is shared. All believers are equals in the eyes on God and his son Jesus - and of course, the Holy Mary. You are a catholic I assume?”

“I’m afraid I am.”

“You shall not be afraid of your faith.” Father Ryuugazaki reassured him. “Never.”

“May I ask you the purpose of your visit?” Rin asked bluntly.

“Father Ryuugazaki helped us when we were detained in Edlington and gave us hospitality.” Georgina explained, “When he heard about what happened to poor Ama-”

“I couldn’t stay impassive in front of such a blatant manifestation of evil forces.” Father cut her right away. “My predecessor often taught me about this place and the tragedy that occured ten years ago, and with what happened to this poor soul one thing is clear : no one had exorcised this place and it had been a mistake.”

Ran gasped, and hid behind her big brother’s back. “You think there’s a demon living here?”

“Father wrote that Ama saw a ghost.” Ren added.

“Ghosts, demons...they are the manifestation of all but one creature...they are all pawn of Satan,” Ran closed her eyes as he spoke the name, “and we should eradicate them just as seriously.”

His words were spoken so dramatically that even Rin felt uneasy. Hopefully, just next to him stood the exact opposite of the Father’s existence. Short and blond with a mischievous smile - the one of a child who’d just done a kid around - and eyes sparkling with enthusiasm, the young man offered Rin his hand. “So you’re the Rin I kept hearing about. The name is Hazuki Nagisa, nice to finally meet you.”

Their handshake never seemed to end, but overall the cook gave him a warm first impression. He quickly excused himself and went directly to the kitchen.

“Haruuuu! Sorry I left you alone all this time, I-”

It seemed Haru replied a few words, probably something like ‘It’s okay’ or ‘It’s not your fault’, knowing him, but Rin couldn’t hear them. At the mention of his name his thoughts came back to the words he’d had with Makoto just a few minutes ago, and Rin couldn’t hear, couldn’t see anything but his shame, and the priest collar. He avoided his gaze when he welcomed the rest of the newcomers. He couldn’t see Ren and Ran jumping in his arms and playing around.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Makoto obviously, he was always worried for nothing.

“Could you help us with the luggage?” He asked quietly, as to tear Rin away from his dark thoughts.

“Of course.”

He brought Ran’s luggage to her room - hopefully the whole household lived on the ground floor. Never once he turned back, never once he noticed how Haru was trying to catch his eyes.

 

***

 

In the afternoon a storm pelt down and locked all the resident of Aberdeen Hall inside. Sousuke had always been fascinated by lightning and electricity, where did it come from? How could the sky provide such a complicated entity? Nature was full of mysteries...on the other hand, for Rin, depending on what he had done that day lightning was just the manifestation of God’s displeasure for something he might have or not have done. Sousuke wondered why some men choose to invent new mysteries to believe in when Earth was full of miracles, but in the end the sight of Rin jumping every time the thunder rumbled made amends for his lack of logic and scientific rigor.

“I’m going to Edlington tomorrow.” He told him when the storm calmed down.

Rin didn’t look that surprised, which took away some of Sousuke’s satisfaction - he liked to be melodramatic at times. He drank some of his tea and winced. “Why so quickly? The bridge only got repaired today.”

“They are a few things I need to look into, like the police report about the Nanases’ murder, and the others disparitions. Why do you keep drinking his tea if you dislike it so much?”

Rin almost choke, and the cup almost ended up shattered on the floor. “It’s...you can’t say no when he’s looking at you with his...eyes…”

“It’s true that other people don’t have _eyes_.”

“Sousuke...” Rin groaned, warning him not to reach that line.

“You are so obvious. Is this why you’re so nervous now that there’s a priest among us?”

Just as expected Rin curled into a ball and shut himself from the current conversation, ignoring Sousuke and his apologetic gaze altogether; there was just him and his cup of tea and no offence to Sousuke but he would finish it whether it tasted awful or not.

Sousuke sighed, in the end there was nothing he could do to help Rin, and he sincerely understood his uneasiness. Rin had tried to hide his attraction to men for years. To himself at first, but when you’re young and rich and as gorgeous as Rin you get attention from every pair of eyes : the greedy, the profiteer, the lustful, and sometimes all at the same time. It didn’t take long for his reputation to follow him everywhere they went, and with a name as famous as his, Rin had to be very careful if he didn’t want to end with his head hanging on a cord.

When Sousuke finished his whiskey he got bored of Rin’s stubbornness. He got up from his chair, “Rin, you know you won’t get swallowed into Hell in your sleep because you looked at him maybe a little bit longer than you should have.”

“Did I? When?” He suddenly asked in panic.

Sousuke wanted to say ‘All the time.’ but knew it wouldn’t be fair.

“About tomorrow, are you coming with me?”

Rin sent him a dark eye, and gazed away to the french windows. “I’ll think about it.”

Knowing Rin it was a yes, and Sousuke left the conservatory with a smile on his lips. He was looking foward their little trip, he had so many things to ask Rin.

 

***

 

There was no doubt about it : they had to go to Edlington as soon as possible. Rin was well aware of that, and even thought a day away from Aberdeen Hall would only do good to him. His nerves were on edge, there were too many contradictory feelings fighting in his heart and mind and every time, guilt won, and he was tired of that. So yes, as he walked to his room he really bet on this trip to Edlington to sort things out, and to clear his mind off of these nuisances.

It wasn’t much. A heart racing too fast, and cheeks that got too colored by the cold air of the night, some electricity on the tips of his fingers, all that certainly due to the shock of his father’s death; nothing that couldn’t be explained.

Haru was waiting in front of his door, hidden in the dark. Rin couldn’t see well since he didn’t have a candleburn himself but he knew it was him - who would be there this late if not Haru?

“What-”

“You didn’t talk to me all day.”

Haru met him halfway. It was so dark he didn’t see where he halted. Too close, he guessed, and then he felt his breath hitting his cheek. Definitely too close.

“Rin, have I done something wrong?”

They had been inseparable for days and of course Haru would notice something had changed, but could he explain that none of this was his fault, how could he explain without hurting him?

“You’ve done nothing wrong I promise.”

“Makoto told me you’re leaving for Edlington tomorrow.”

There was almost panic in his voice and Rin felt his heart jolt in his ribcage.

“We just want to visit. We will be back for dinner, I promise you.”

Rin hoped Haru didn’t remember the last time he had promised him to come back and did everything but that - tonight was different though, so much different.

Haru was standing so close that Rin could feel how tensed he was, as if he was scared of something and ready to react. He owed him an explanation. As hard as it was, at least Rin had to try.

“Haru, I’m sorry about today. I just had a lot of thinking to do on my own.”

It didn't sound like a satisfying reply for Haru, “You can think with me around.”

“Not when I’m thinking about you.”

The answer was so unexpected from Haru’s side that he shut his mouth, and then, nothing. It was as if he had stopped thinking too. And when Rin realized Haru might have caught a glimpse of his mind bigger than he would have liked him to, he started to panic. What would he think? What would he do? What if he scared him? What if he ran away?

In a desperate attempt of master his irrational fears Rin leaned in and caught Haru’s vest. He joined their chest together and rest his head against Haru’s.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, and knew Haru wouldn’t understand but these words were his cathar and his alone. “I’m so sorry.”

“...It’s fine. Just don’t do it again.”

Haru temptatively rest his hand on Rin’s shoulders, and shyly moved them on different spots before Rin took them away.

“I’m really glad I came back here. I’m really glad you’re not mad at me.”

Now that his eyes had adapted to the darkness Rin could see them, his eyes, his bemused eyes searching for a certain logic behind Rin’s words. “But Rin, I will never be mad at you.”

Rin knew it was a lie because of god, Haru had been so mad at him when they were kids, but not really, actually, not the kind of madness he was referring too.

 

***

 

He kept on dreaming. This time, it was the lake.

They used to swim a lot during the summer. All summer. Haru acted like a complete different person when he was in the lake, as if he was a water spirit imprisoned in a human body. The lands were clearly not his world, and Rin accepted that. Rin liked to swim a lot as well so it was for the best.

Their respective mothers often scolded them for staying too long in the water every time Haru caught a cold - he had fragile lungs, his mother said - but in the water they had no parents, no other rules but their. The lake, just like the green maze, were their places, their own worlds. It was where they felt happier.

Rin would always remember the rare times Haru smiled. It was almost in those places. He called them his sanctuaries as if they had something sacred but when Rin asked, he said the places didn’t matter.

“What matter are the memories.” Haru said.

Rin liked that sentence.

What mattered were their memories, the one they built together over the years.

One day after a race he didn’t remember who won they sat on the grass under the sakura tree. They fell asleep on each other. Their hands and shoulders were touching, and when Rin woke up his hand was so warm it felt numb. He opened an eye, then the other, only to find Haru’s blue eyes staring at him with his hand holding his firmly, almost claiming it. They had hold hands before in the past, mostly Rin took Haru’s while running in the garden or when he was scared but never like this, never with so much heat.

Haru had just gotten twelve. Their next summer together would be their last, but they had no idea of it.

After that day Haru claimed Rin’s hand on regular basis. It only lasted a few days at the most because someone else took notice.

“They are only children!” Toraichi said, but in vain, his sister was determined.

“No they aren’t, and you know it! How can you act as if everything was perfectly normal with those two!”

“Please, calm down, I beg you.”

Rin and Haru were there in the corner; and if Haru was just as impassive as he always was in front of his parents Rin was utterly frightened by his aunt’s ferocity. Her eyes were blotched with red, her face distorted by anger; she looked like a demon, Rin thought. How could such a creature give birth to such a delicate boy?

In the end she won the argument, like always. “You two,” she told them with her honeyed voice, “you need to stop holding hands like that. It’s bad.”

Bad.

“Why is it bad? You hold mother’s hand all the time!” Rin whined to Gou the next day - Haru was punished inside his room but Rin could see him at his window. They were waving at each other from time to time and Rin liked to imagine there was a smile on his face each time their eyes met.

But Rin’s turmoil only made his little sister giggled.

One night he got enough of her mockery. That’s when she told him, the words that changed his life.

“Holding hands is what to do with the person you love.”

It was something mother had told her while reading a love story. Rin hadn’t slept well that night. It was true that lately the wait until summer and their annual trip to Aberdeen had been more difficult to handle. He had had ants in his pants, had written twice as much letter than usual, practice the violin and the piano almost everyday just to compete with Haru. It wasn’t about losing or winning, with them it was all about the thrill, about doing something together. But love? That was...for girls! Or worse, for adults!

Rin decided that night that there was no way he was in love with Haruka Nanase, and from that time he refused to give his hand when Haru asked for it.

And oh god, how difficult it was to stare back to the disappointment in his eyes.

 

Under the pink blanket Rin, in his room full of sakura blossom, raised his right hand above his head and stared for a while. Say, if he offered it to Haru tomorrow, would he take it into his?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After reflexion it is highly improbable that a sakura tree would grow in Scotland in the 1880s or something. But after all it's only a fic, and there's no rinharu without sakura.  
> Also Russell's name is Robinson because I think it's his english VA name. So basically Lori is Miss Robinson.  
> For those who had trouble with the company thing : Haru's parents owned a tea company and when they died Russell took care of it until Haru decided to take over. But Haru is too free to care it seems...


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's when I'm writing about new characters that I curse my tiny dyslexia...I'm sorry if I misspelled Natsuya name...Also please, be aware that I still miss a beta reader! there might be some spelling mistakes and I'm about that.

* * *

 

# Chapter 4

 

 

 

It was horrible, how each of Rin’s mouvement were noisy that day.

As he put his gloves and hat on, as he made sure his pocket watch and his wallet were secured in his vest, the noise of clothes creasing irked his ears. The worse was probably the regular, never missing tictoc of his watch; and all those small noises he would have never minded before were just so annoying. He hated that they sounded so loud, he hated what was missing. He hated what should have hushed them and was gone. He hated the silence, Haru’s silence, his eyes half looking, half avoiding his gaze when he walked him in front of the gate.

He gave him the same disappointed look again, the one Rin had seen in his dream just the night before. The memory was still vivid, the pain equally. Rin mounted with the ill feeling that he had done something terribly wrong, and it’s not before they reached the repaired bridge that he realized he had no idea what.

Sousuke cleared his throat, “Rin, are you with me?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You were saying?”

“I didn’t say anything yet, I was waiting for you to emerge.” Sousuke said. “And...I was waiting to be as far as possible from the Hall. We should wait a little bit more until I expose you my theory.”

Rin frowned. “Your theory?”

“About the Nanases’ true murderer.”

Rin trotted faster and Sousuke followed, a smile on his face. 

As soon as they left the forest they slowed down again. Sousuke looked over his shoulder and decided they had gone far enough.

“Did you know about the Nanases’ fortune?” he asked Rin.

Rin looked into his memories. “I never thought about it, I was so young at that time...but I guess they were just as rich as we were. Why do you mention money all of a sudden? You think robbers really did it?”

Sousuke shook his head. “I’m afraid not, it’s way more complicated than that. The Nanase’s Empire is worth more than billions pounds. The tea company is the key; owning it is the real culprit’s intention.”

“So you think my uncle was murdered for his fortune? But he was the sole owner, killing my aunt and hurting Haru didn’t have any utility.”

“They could have been there at the wrong moment. Your aunt could have seen the culprit’s face, and Haru...Haru is the heir, he could have been one of the target.”

Sousuke halted in front of the city entrance. The tempest had made serious damages in this part of the country, there was mud everywhere and some houses had half collapsed.

“Here’s what I think. A jealous partner wanted more than just his due, and killed your uncle to obtain more power and money. It means the culprit is one of the company’s assignee, one of your uncle’s closest associe. Guess who’s running it right now?”

“I...I don’t know,” Rin said weakly, “Ha-Haru? No, impossible, I can’t picture him…”

“And yet he might soon. But you’re right, the company is in your uncle’s cousin’s hand at the moment, a certain Russel Robinson. And guess who else is linked with this man?”

Rin remained silent.

“The gamekeeper, Goro Sasabe.” Sousuke announced.

“What!? How? I never knew that. How did you find out?” He asked.

“Rin, have you known Goro? If yes, how much?” Sousuke asked him.

Rin appeared bemused, his words came broken and haphazard. “Well, I, I don’t know, I don’t remember very well, I was so young and he was only taking my dad and uncle for hunting and...Sousuke, seriously, what are you implying?”

He knew the moment was grave, the accusation heavy but there was no way he could turn back now. “Don’t you find it weird that since we’ve reached Aberdeen Hall and asked for what happened ten years ago, that man, Sasabe Goro, won’t talk to us?”

“Sousuke…”

“And isn’t it strange that Goro is the only one who saw the bodies, is said to have saved Haru before the fire was too important and damaged a crime scene so that no one could ever checked if his version was the truth?”

“You cannot possibly...Sousuke!” Rin scolded him. “Goro had been at the Nanase’s service for decades. He adores Haru more than anybody else, he could have never done anything like that!”

It was one of Rin’s quality that Sousuke adored the most; this naivety, a sort of candor that were not bad words in his mouth when they could have been in others. Rin had been through a lot, there was no denying but there is one thing he never experienced. He was never poor.

“You have no idea of what a man can betray for money.”

 

They reached the police station after half an hour of researches. The locals were neat and tidy, nothing like the streets outside. A young man at the front, seeing their expensive and refine vests, came to their attentions.

“Hello Misters! Welcome to Edlington police station. What can I do for you?”

“Hello, I’m Rin Matsuoka, and this is my friend Sousuke Yamazaki, we’re from London, we-”

“We’d like to talk about the murders surrounding Aberdeen Hall that occurred ten years ago.”

The young boy looked over Sousuke and lost his smile altogether, along with the sparks in his blue eyes.

“We’d like to talk to the person in charge.”

The poor boy nodded and walked, silently, to the furthest office. From his peripheral vision, Sousuke felt Rin sending him daggers.

“We’re not here to chat,” he whispered, “Do you want to know what happened in Aberdeen ten years ago or not?”

“I want to know what happened to my father,” Rin bit back.

“And you don’t think everything is linked?”

Rin scowled, and remained silent until another officer came to them.

Contrary to the previous one this officer was tall, well built and looked confidant. His hazelnut eyes were straight and strong, rivalizing with Sousuke’s and he liked that. On his badge they could read his name, Natsuya Kirishima.

“So misters, you asked for the person in charge?”

Officer Kirishima had been running this place since the fiasco of the Duke's little brother's death. He was young and bolt, but unfortunately knew nothing that could helped them.

“I remember everyone being down and scared the first months after my affection. They also hired a forensic around the same time, the previous one had had nightmare and lost his sleep for days before he killed himself, they told me,” Kirishima said as he lit a cigar. “Do you want some?”

Rin sent Sousuke a daring gaze. “No thank you,” he replied, reluctantly. 

“It’s fine by me. As for the purpose of your visit I don’t mind looking into the files again, I would even say your visit is a blessing. I have always been curious about this case.”

They followed the officer in his office where they took both seats. There were reports everywhere but each one was ordered in a perfectly lined piles of looses sheats. Officer Kirishima opened his drawer and took a small key. He then walked to the shelving unit behind his desk and took out a box. 

“They were nearly destroyed by a fire a couple of years ago so I took them in my own office. I’ve always felt there was something off with these cases but, honestly, each time I talk about it to one of my men their faces change. They lower their gaze and just go back to their seat without saying a word. Don’t misunderstand me,” Kirishima breathed out the smoke from his lung, “I do like challenges, but you cannot move from Heaven to earth for a ten years old mystery by yourself. I need men who are willing to get their hands dirty and you seemed like the appropriate candidates.”

On the pile he took out of the box there was big red letters written on the front. ' _The Beast_ ' it said. Sousuke frowned instinctively.

“So I’ve heard you’re part of the victims’ relative?” the Officer asked Rin. 

Rin nodded, “My aunt and uncle were the victims.”

“Kaori and Asou Nanase, I see. Tell me, why did you come back in Aberdeen Hall after ten years?”

With a hand on the files and one on his cigar, Officer Kirishima listened to Rin and Sousuke’s story, their journey to Aberdeen, Rin’s childhood and visceral link to the Hall, he also told him about his father and his mysterious disapparition. Sousuke’s eyes fell on the ground at that moment; Rin was so naive, like always, it was hard to see his heart being broken.

At the end of their tales the officer sighed. “I’m afraid these documents won’t give you any answer. As you know already the fire had destroyed every evidence and the only element we had back at the time was that man’s testimony.”

He handed Sousuke a letter, badly written - by Goro, he assumed. He couldn’t read half of the words. “Is that all? Don’t you have anything else we could use?”

“To which purpose, may I ask?” Kirishima said.

Sousuke’s gaze harden to the officer’s words, while Rin was going through the rest of the files. Sousuke’s had miscalculated the man’s intentions, from now on it would be a mistake to take his help as acquired.

“You seem to have a very strong motive to go back into this hell again,” the officer said, “Or at least you know more than I do. I have to admit I quite don’t like the ending of this tragedy but I have no idea of how to rewrite it. Are you, perhaps, looking for something in particular?”

Sousuke didn’t know what to do, should he confess his suspicion or wait and see how far he could trust the officer? Goro was probably well known in the area, he could even have well placed friends - it could also be the exact opposite but since they had no idea of who this Goro really was they couldn’t push their luck more than they had done already. It was already a miracle that they could have access to the files.

Sousuke sought for help in the person of Rin but found none; his eyes were glued on one picture, so much than it took three of Sousuke’s throat clearing to take his eyes off of it.

“Oh, sorry.” Rin apologized. “I was...these are truly impressing.”

He showed Sousuke the picture. These were giant footprints on a mudded path. According to the description they were found near the green maze. The footprints were 40 inches in length and width and showed four long and angular fingers, gifted with claws according to the depth the footprint left at the very tip of the fingers.

“Look, the same traces were found in the forest a little further.” Rin added, as he handed more pictures. There were dozen of footprints.

“Who took these?” Sousuke asked, amazed by the quality of these ten years old photographs. His beautiful theory of the non-existent Beast could not cohabit with these footprints.

“One of our officers. He’s not working there anymore, unfortunately - he left after the case was over, you know. But I was told he was trustworthy. And I agree with you Matsuoka, these are quite impressive.”

Like a defect in a master piece, a scratch on the wall, a single cloud lost in the blue serene sky, these pictures signed a stop to Sousuke’s ambition and wicked scheme. How could he accuse a man, a mere human, when these prints existed? Worse, he realized Sousuke feared them. Seeing those huge prints scared him for, and the more he tried to rationalise his thoughts the more the sight haunted his steps. What if...what if it was true? What if there was really a Beast leaving in the woods?

 

“According to the report the Beast had jumped from the top of the green maze’s hedges to the conservatory’s roof, and then climbed to the second floor.” Rin told him as they were leaving the office. “They could never found out why it went directly there but since it was dark and a fire had burst, they think the light from the candleburn might have guided him there. Then, he left by jumping from the damage window and that’s when the first prints were made.”

Sousuke was barely listening. Nothing made any sense and yet, he refused to listen by fear he might catch a glimpse of truth.

“That’s why the marks near the Manor were deeper than the one they found leading to the forest. At least that’s their conclusion.” Rin said as they were leaving the office.

“Rin, why are you doing this?” Sousuke burst.

Rin halted, they had nearly reach the exit and everyone was looking at them, holding their breaths.

“What are you talking about?” Rin replied vehemently. “You’re the one who bring me here. You’re the one who wanted to know the truth.”

“That’s not the truth,” Sousuke barked back, “that’s just bullshit.”

Some of the policemen gasped, and some lower their gazes, and went back to their desks - but most of them were still lingering there.

“Oh, look who’s upset! You’re calling it bullshit because it’s not the truth you want! But you saw them, didn’t you?!” Rin fought back. “You saw the photographs! You saw the prints! What are they to you? Aren’t they some solid proof you’re usually so fond about?”

“There could be another explanation-”

“Then tell me what’s on your mind! I dare you. The whole police station is all ears!”

Sousuke clenched his fists, was closed to hit the wall beside him when a man entered the room and made the bell rang. He was just as tall as Rin, with grey hair despite his young age and gentle eyes hidden behind round glasses.

“...Hello gentlemen,” he spoke, “Did I interrupt something?”

Rin smiled, uneasy, until officer Kirishima saved their skins.

“Nao! Just in time. Please meet Matsuoka Rin and his friend, Yamazaki Sousuke, coming all this way from Aberdeen Hall to dig up an old case.”

His full name was Serizawa Nao, and had been working as a forensic in Edlington for a couple of years. Sousuke wondered how a man opening and dissecting people as a bread and butter could have such a warm smile and soft hands. Along with officer Kishirima they had taken over the police station and had tried to heal the wounds left by the devil creature years ago, wounds that refused to properly heal even with time. But something unexpected happened to those men of science and deduction.

“I was just like you,” Kirishima said, they had left the station and were about to mount their horses again, “I was young and as I heard about this case of murder I thought it was something made up from top to bottom like I’ve seen so many times. I refused to believe the numerous testimonies the villagers and the people from the Manor gave before they left the region, out of dread. But the more I looked into it the more I started to doubt...until one day I dreamed about it at night. I saw it in my dream devouring me and then I realized the Beast, as the local call it, exists. It had found its way into my mind.” Kirishima pointed the side of his head with his forefinger, before turning it on Sousuke’s forehead. “And now I can see it climbing up into yours.”

Sousuke let a cynical laugh escape his lips. “I’m afraid you’re imagining things.”

“You can say whatever you want but your heart knows it better. You’re already doubting, and you’ve only read the reports once. As for you, Matsuoka, I won’t even dare to comment. You were reading the case as if you were living it from the inside.”

“It’s easier when you’ve been living in the place just before the crime occurred.” Rin defended himself.

“What do you think of the jump then? Or the fact that it jumped from the maze to the roof and then climbed the top tower?” Serisawa asked.

Rin was caught unawares, and looked for his words, “I...I was so young and so short at that time...the thing seems almost impossible for a man, but for a...Beast I guess...with the appropriate back legs maybe it could be possible.”

Sousuke chose to ignore his friend’s words and mounted already without a goodbye.

“Yamazaki,” Kirishima halted him. “I know people like you and how you may think. Trust me, now that the sprout of a doubt had found its place inside your mind it won’t go easily. I have a proposition, would you two listen to me?”

Sousuke only wanted to leave, but Rin sent him his gaze again, the one he could not ignore, the one he used so much when he really wanted something no matter how bad it was. Rin was such a good man, but he could be very stubborn when he wanted to, and today was one of these days where, out of nowhere, Rin decided he would always have the last word.

And so Sousuke resigned in front of Rin.

“We are all ears,” Rin said, “ Tell us, what’s your plan?”

Officer Kirishima seemed delighted. “As I told you before I cannot move heaven and earth with my two arms only; but I found reinforcement with you. Your presence feels like fate to me. Now, listen to me carefully...”

 

***   
  


 

The sun was still up when they decided to go back to Aberdeen.

Lost in their respective thoughts, none of Sousuke and Rin engaged the conversation. Only their mounts’ step filled the air, along with the craws’ cries and murmurs of the pines against the wind.

At some point Sousuke risked a glance towards his friend; to his surprise Rin looked really down - he should be happy, it’s not his theory which had just been brought down in the blink of an eye.

“What’s wrong?”

Rin remained silent. It didn’t look like him at all.

“Rin.”

“What?”

“You’re upset.”

Rin laughed, sadly. “Finely observed, Sherlock.”

“Stop calling me that name.”

“You have to admit you behave like that detective. And you’re the one who made me read that book, so you’re the only one to blame.”

“Rin,” Sousuke repeated, more seriously this time. “Talk to me.”

It’s not until they passed the bridge that Rin decided to speak at last, of what weighed on his conscience.

“It’s just...it’s not your fault, but you seem to forget that you and I have different aims sometimes. I do care about what happened to the Nanases’ but you have to be practical. Whatever happened, they are dead and they will never come back. But my dad...I thought we might found something.”

“Rin...I’m sorry.” Sousuke said honestly. He had totally forgotten about Rin’s turmoil as soon as the thrill of mystery had caught him.

“I know you are. I know. I’m sorry for not being as...enthusiastic as you are about this murder but the more I think about it the more it makes no sense. Why did Ama see my father’s silhouette the night we decided to stay in Aberdeen Hall? It has to mean something!”

Sousuke refrained himself from stating that the whole thing about seeing ghosts made no sense at all to preserve their friendship intact.

“I was so sure that I would find something about my father in Edlington. It’s stupid because he never went there...I guess I’m just upset at my own stupidity.”

As expected, Rin’s candor and hopes hurt him in the worst possible way, on the worst possible day. Soon the sight of the two towers appeared in front of them, with the white pebbles alley waiting for them. They were just in time for dinner.

Haru was outside, his hand caressing the blood-red petals of the camellias. He was waiting for them - well, Sousuke doubted he was awaited by anyone in this manor. Rin hadn’t put his second foot on the ground that arms circled his shoulders.

“Rin, you’re back.” Haru spoke as if he had doubted they would.

It was so weird, Sousuke thought, because it was crystal clear that Rin was head over heels for him, and the boy didn’t seem to notice. Sousuke just shrugged the idea away.

“Give me your reins,” Makoto told him. Sousuke almost jumped, he hadn’t heard him coming out of the manor. The butler took their horses to the stable, leaving Sousuke alone - because no whatever what they were, as soon as they were together, Haru and Rin were in their own world where it was almost impossible to enter.

 

***

 

At night, Rin couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t a foreign phenomenon to him but this night, most particularly, his thoughts were spinning around a single thing. He couldn’t stop thinking about his father. The memories were so strong they made him forget about Haru’s warmth - the smoothness of his skin, his breath brushing past his cheek. His father’s ghost had lived with him for so long, ever since he had disappeared from his life but sharing it with Ama was definitely something he was not ready to, and didn’t want to. He had to see. He had to see it himself. He had to go to the second floor.

Rin knew it was forbidden and maybe dangerous but there was nothing that could change his mind. He didn’t need any light, he knew the place by heart. His feet moved in the dark to the stairs, then his hand found the guardrail. He very silently took the stairs and it’s not until he reached the top that he heard the wind howling. The corridor leading to the burned wing where his parents used to sleep was illuminated by the moonlight, that penetrated in the manor through the holes left by the fire that never got repaired. The place had been left as it was, as if time had stopped ten years from now. From where he stood Rin could see the sky and the stars across what used to be the master bedroom. Even the door had been destroyed. The corridor was clear; there was no way Ama could have mistook a shadow for his father. She must have seen something, but what? Was it really his father? Sousuke did not believe in ghost, but there was still another possibility. What if he was still alive, after all these years?

What if he was hiding in the burned wing?

Rin took a step forward and the floor cracked under his foot. 

He felt his leg dove into the void.

But a strong pair of arms hold him and dragged him to solid ground.

Out of breath, Rin got on his feet at the speed of light to thank his savour. To think he was that stupid to risk his life just because he couldn’t stop thinking about his father…

“Th-Haru?”

Rin could see his face thanks to the moonlight, and he didn’t look please at all.

“I told you it was dangerous. You should never go there again.” He said coldly.

“I...Haru I’m sorry. I-”

“Let me take you back to your room.”

They walked in calmly to the first floor. Their paces were slow but inside, Rin’s heart was racing, still in shock; and it didn’t get better when they fell on the bit of wood that had collapsed under Rin’s step on the floor below. Haru had saved him from a five meters fall at least.

“I’m sorry, really, I didn’t want to scare you,” Rin apologized. “Don’t say anything to Sousuke, he would definitely kill me.”

“I heard some noise, I came to see who was coming. You’re lucky I have a light sleep.”

Rin smiled, “Yeah, I am. I’m grateful, really. It’s just that I couldn’t find sleep. I needed to walk a bit…”

They stopped in front of Rin’s door. For some time, Rin wondered why he felt so tensed all of a sudden - after all he had just escaped a very bad, if not deadly, fall thanks to Haru, he should be grateful - until he realized he wasn’t the only one. He could fall Haru’s tension thought the centimetres between them and then Rin realized they were both waiting in front of his bedroom in the middle of the night and they were all alone in the dark.

The silly thought of casually inviting Haru in briefly crossed his mind, until Rin felt a strong hand on his shoulder.

Haru stuck his mouth on his ear. “Next time you need a night walk, you know where my bedroom is.” He whispered.

The next second he was gone, but his husky voice lingered in Rin’s mind for days.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last week I visited a Castle and it made me think of this story, I think I found my manor! I was so happy I took so many picture. It helps me to imagine the scene and the costumes a bit.  
> I'm also finilazing chapter 11 as we talk. I'm nearly reaching the end in the writing and I already feel a bit sad...I hope some of you will stay until the end!   
> See you in a bit, and thank you for reading. Kudos and comments are always appreciated


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning : Homophobia, mention and description of death (not too harsh though and it's very brief),

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm not too late for Halloween

* * *

 

 

 

# Chapter V

.

 

 

One of the few things Father Ryuugazaki had imposed as soon as he had set foot in Aberdeen Hall was the hanging of a wooden crucifix in Ama’s chamber, where he spent most of his time looking after the poor woman. There was no mistake possible to him, she was possessed by a demon.

“I know about the place,” he told them, “A lot of villagers from Edlington and the whole area avoided the path following the forest. They told me their stories, confessed their fears, what they saw...this place should have been exorcised years ago, but even my predecessor was terrified at the thought of coming here!”

Every morning he had his routine : praying in his room, then in Ama’s in front of the crucifix before spraying holy water on her face and wrists. It had been days, and everyone seemed to notice some positive changes. Everyone but Sousuke ; Ama should already been awake, there was no reason why she should be keeping the bed. Why wouldn’t she wake up?

“...Amen.” Father Ryuugazaki ended his rituel and left the bedside to Haruka, who every morning feed Ama as much as he could. She barely opened her lips when he presented her porridge and soup, but she needed to stay hydrated.

Today she mumbled something and with her hand, she pushed away her food. Her eyes were still closed and her words unintelligible but that was, without a doubt, a first step to guerison; which pissed Sousuke off even more. He hated the place, and the place hated him twice as much.

Father Ryuugazaki noticed the skeptical look Sousuke gave him continuously. “May I ask you what you are doing here if you don’t intend to help this lost soul?”

“I’m a doctor, I’m helping.”

“I thought you were still studying.” Haruka rectified. The stiffness of his mind couldn’t have worked on a better timing.

“Well, as many of your colleagues these days I supposed you are ignorant about the mystical wounds a devil creature can cause. Young doctors and scientists...they think they can disown God and his son Jesus without suffering their wraths. Young master, do not listen to this man, of your soul will drown in a area of obscurantism.”

“Ah! It’s the pot calling the kettle black!” Sousuke jerked.

“Be careful of your choice of words, it’s the only thing I advise. I am a simple man. I only look for Jesus pardon and the well being of my parishioners. Yamazaki, just know that I will never let you down if you need any help, regardless of our divergence.”

He left the room under Sousuke’s dark glance.

He watched silently how Haruka was slowly pouring some water in the corner on Ama’s mouth. He used a glass pipette, one of the kind he could have used in his lab.

“Rin…” Haru said quietly. “He believes in all that.”

Sousuke felt the incomprehension in his voice. “He does.” he simply replied.

“He prays a lot these days.”

“And you? Don’t you believe in God?”

Haruka shrugged but spoke no word. Sousuke felt closer to Haruka than the other resident of the manor at this moment.

And then, in front of the two people who refused to believe in God, a miracle occurred.

Ama groaned and opened her eyes. It only lasted a second, her lids started to blink now and then until finally she took Haruka’s wrist and brought it close to her torso. “No...more,” she whispered. The pipette fell on the blanket.

Sousuke rushed to her side to examine her; she was unharmed, her eyes redden but over all unharmed.

“Rest, I need rest,” she breathed with difficulty. Her throat was so dry, she needed water. “Haru, my boy, where is Goro?” she asked as he was trying to pour some water into her mouth. The question unsettled Sousuke; did she expected him to be here?

“I’ll see if I can bring him to you.” The young master said, and left the room, very calmly. Ama’s awakening hadn’t risen his spirit much, especially not as much as Sousuke’s. At last ! A good news! But his inquiries would have to wait; Ama’s safety and health were his priorities.

He brought a glass of water to her lips. “Thank you,” she said weakly. Her eyes were still sleepy. “Thank you for looking after me.”

They didn’t talk much after this - truth was Sousuke’s lips burned with billions of questions regarding the incident of ten years ago but now was barely the appropriate time to ask them. Ama needed to recover from her emotions first. Rin would probably want to talk to her during the afternoon anyway.

“Sir Yamazaki, may I ask you a favor.” Sousuke told her he wasn’t a Sir, but she ignored his remark, “Could you please keep on visiting me every day? I’d like it very much.”

Ama looked like a very sweet woman. It was clear from the care she received when she was unconscious that everybody in the manor esteemed her. But in the end Sousuke didn’t know her at all. It was only when he asked Haruka why she demanded to see the gamekeeper that he learned they had been lovers, in the past, before the fire.

 

***

 

 

“I have to say I liked Haruka’s food better.”

“Well, it’s difficult to outcast Haru when he’s good at something.” Rin confessed, a hint of bitterness in his voice - Sousuke could easily imagine the hours his friend spent playing the violin and never achieve to even hold a candle to Haru.

They were savouring a cup of tea - well, if you could call it ‘savouring’, since Rin persevered in drinking that awful beverage Haru specially made for him every afternoon. They hadn’t talked about Ama yet. Everyone knew about her recovery and her name was on every tongues, except Rin’s. It was like he was avoiding the subject, or had something more troublesome in mind.

“Did you have any news from officer Kirishima?” Rin asked.

Sousuke concluded that whatever was troubling him, it didn’t concern the policeman or their visit to Edlington.

“Not yet. They told us we will be warned a couple of days before the time is set. You shouldn’t worry about it.”

“I am not worried, I’m impatient.” Rin replied. He was desperate for something to do. Lingering there gave him ants in his pants. Or was there a problem with Haruka again?

Or with the priest?

Or both?

Sousuke did not believe in God or in Hell and demons, but knew Rin lived with his own. He had been avoiding Father Ryuugazaki’s gaze the entire time at lunch, even when the priest directly talked to him about his illumination in Florence and his dedication to the Holy Mary.

Sousuke sat next to him. “Are you alright?”

Rin tensed and leaned on the opposite side of the sofa. “What do you mean by that?”

“It’s usually the signal I use when I can feel something is wrong with you but you don’t dare to speak to me because you feel uneasy about it when really, after all we’ve been through there is nothing you should be ashamed to tell me.”

“You’re still referring to that night in Prague I assume.”

“I am.”

Rin raised his eyes to Heaven. “For God sake Sousuke, I didn’t know you were still there.”

“You shouldn’t provoke the Lord’s wrath while one of his child lives inside the manor so close to you, slyly sinner.”

Usually Rin, being the joyful young man as he was, would kick his legs and let it go until the next time they talk about Prague. But it was not what he did. Instead Rin hold on his teacup tighter and avoided Sousuke gaze again. He wanted to disappear from everyone's sight.

“...Rin, did...did anything happen?”

Rin looked over his shoulder, to make sure no one was spying on them. “Not really,” he spoke quietly. “Not yet anyway.”

“Not yet, which means eventually something will happen.”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Remember the day we came back from Edlington?”

Sousuke noticed something had been off between Rin and Haru the following day. They had started to touch each other more often, in front of everybody as if they couldn't help it - it was just innocent small touches, on the arms, the back, nothing too serious but at some point these touches were not enough for Rin, and they burned against his skin, just as vividly as the priest's eyes following them.

“The things he told me...he cannot possibly know what they imply but I do, Sousuke, I do; and I think about him every night and it’s getting out of hand. I want to touch him so much and I can't think of anything else.”

Rin curled into a ball on the sofa, like he always did when he was feeling turmoiled and ‘unclean’, as he told Sousuke once - when drunk, of course. Sousuke had tried, multiple times, to ease his mind but nothing worked better than a short plaster female statue and hours of prayer. It didn’t help that, a few years ago, Rin lost one of his close friend in Prague.

They woke up in the morning to find him hanged naked in front of his house, the word _'PIGS'_ written on his forehead with his own blood.

Since that day Rin had never been the same again. He never lost his smile or enthusiasm but there were times, just like this one right now, when Rin closed up and the dark years of repression resurfaced on his face, times when he had to hide to fully live his life. Dark times when they were scared of seeing someone they knew hanged on the square, and people throwing trashes at their corpses.

Rin feared the cord more than anything else in the world.

“You know,” Sousuke said, “It’s natural, unlike what they want you to believe. During the Antic Rome it was considered inappropriate not to have a male lover. Even animals can have homosexual behaviour.”

“Would you shut up!” Rin fumigated.

“What I am saying is that, I know the time are not in your favour but, Rin, you are not wrong, you are not evil, you are not an abnormality. They are.”

He knew his words were powerless. He had told them so many times, in vain; there was nothing that could fight against the Church.

“And he has to be my first cousin, on top of everything.”

“Christians often marry with their first cousins and they don’t make a fuss about it.”

The discussion always ended there, with Rin lost in his thoughts and Sousuke struggling to find the good words, and failing, every time.

 

***

 

Sousuke refused to admit it aloud but spending his evening watching Haruka cooking for the whole table had become part of a routine he was looking forward to. They never talked much but in a week he had learned more about anatomy than in any books or lectures. Haruka had agreed on letting him practice some of the most complicated surgeries on poultries, an opportunity he had never thought of before entering Aberdeen Hall. Humans and animals, in the end, were made the same way. A vessel is still a vessel, a heart, still a heart.

Unfortunately for him, Haruka was not in charge of the kitchen anymore and the new cook didn’t feel like sharing his victuals.

And so Sousuke observed him silently, without touching anything, to his great disappointment.

“How long have you been there?” The cooks asked out of curiosity. It’s something Sousuke had immediately noticed about Nagisa; the boy was talkative, bold and curious. And from his experience it was always those kind of people who ended up talking the most.

“About a week now.”

“I see. Must be getting boring here. Don’t you miss the city? My sisters can’t live without it. Every time they come visiting me they can’t stay more than a couple of days.”

“Your sisters live in London?” Sousuke asked.

The cook put the knife on the table and put the cut pieces of carrots on the fire. “No, from Edinburgh!” he said with a frown on his face.

From then on Sousuke used his skill to draw out as much information he could from Nagisa, which was far from being his most difficult task. Nagisa had come here about five years ago after the previous cook died of old age.

“I heard the place was haunted,“ Nagisa told him after he finished filling the chickens. “There was a rumor about a malediction that only affected the cooks. Did you know most of them had died during their work? One of my predecessor cut his leg with his butcher’s knife and bleed to death at the exact same spot you’re standing right now.”

Nagisa smiled warily, a vain attempt to scare Sousuke. “What else?” he inquired, unaffected.

“What else? You mean what weird deaths have I heard of before coming here?”

“I guess it mustn’t have been too horrible, or you would have never come here in the first place, am I right?”

Sousuke’s words worked like wonders on the cook. “What? Don’t be fooled! Some burned themselves with the oven or hot oil! Some fell down in the stairs going to the cellar, losing consciousness all of a sudden for no reason! Some even said they had been poisoned...by a witch!”

Sousuke frowned skeptically. “A witch?”

“Yeah...well maybe that one is a bit far stretched.” Nagisa admitted. “It was a long time ago anyway, before you and I were even born. A young cook got a very aggressive form of tuberculosis right after he arrived in the Hall. He didn't even last a week. You can understand now why I think this place is boring: nothing had happened to me yet! Not even a small attempt on my life! I’m in such a great form.”

He also explained why at a young age Haruka had been forced to be a good cook. With the constant ‘disparition’ Haruka and his mother took the reign of the entire kitchen and provided food for the whole table, and they were more numerous back at the time when the Nanases were still alive.

“In that aspect I’ve heard Haru looks a lot like his mother.” Nagisa added. “She used to be an excellent cook. She even left a book of her own recipe, I saw Haru using it now and then when he feels like.”

Sousuke remembered seeing that book once or twice during their ‘cooking’ sessions.

“What do you think about the Beast?” They were preparing dessert while the chickens were in the oven.

“Definitely the best thing around. It’s a shame I’ve never seen it in action yet. I came here just after that young duke’s slaughter.”

It turned out Nagisa knew next to nothing about what happened ten years ago. He had, in fact, never met the Nanases. And despite his very good relations with the rest of the domestics none had shared any secret with him - or he would have told him, Nagisa felt like the kind of person who felt proud after being told a secret and couldn’t stop bragging about it.

But Sousuke got a feeling he had found something he never expected, something insinuating things might have been going wrong in the Manor way before the incident ten years ago.

His searches weren’t enough, he needed to dig into the past more than he had previously counted on. And what could teach him about the past better than the past itself?

There were some old painting on the walls, of the old Lords and Barons owning the manor - they were from the Matsuoka branch. In the smoking room, Sousuke found recent photographs of the Nanases - there were five men in the same pictures, probably Haru’s father and his cousin Russel, along with another man of the same age he had never seen before, and two older men, enough to be their father and grandfather respectively.

And then, in the middle, a photograph of a couple with a newborn baby in his proud father’s arms.

This was certainly the very first picture of Haru.

Yet, as he watched closely at his father’s smiling face, something felt awfully off with this picture.

The fact that, on the other end, his mother wasn’t smiling at all probably didn’t help.

“Rin is looking for you.”

Sousuke jumped as Haruka’s monotonous voice took him out of his contemplation. He hadn’t made any sound while entering the room.

“He’s waiting in front of the lake. He says you have received the letters.” He said, after some time, it seemed.

Stunned, Sousuke realized too late that he had forgotten to reply. “Thank you very much.”

 

***

 

Rin sat under the Sakura tree, watching his leafless branches falling next to the lake. There was a boat in the very middle of it, two men were apparently fishing but from the distance and the thin haze, Rin couldn’t distinguish who there were - one was short and well built, probably Goro the gamekeeper. Did he know about Ama? Rin wondered; they were supposed to get married last time they came here, but when he first saw Ama there was no ring at her finger.

He hadn’t talked about it with her though. When Rin went to see Ama, he had others burning subject to discuss with her.

She had a weak smile when he had entered, the one she had always given him since he came back a week ago. She never did that before, he noticed; the way she looked at him changed with the years.

“Rin, my sweet boy.”

Her voice had been off from the start.

Rin’s father had been part for the British Army. One day he departed to the Dardanelles with his men but never came back. All his companions died during the Russio-Turkish war, but he didn’t; because, Rin had learned far later, his father had never been onboard.

It was one of his most well kept secret, one of the few Sousuke and even his family weren’t aware of. It could kill their mother if she knew...and Rin would never do anything that could hurt her.

But knowing this, Rin couldn’t refute the fact that Ama did really see his father’s ghost.

“I need to know, Ama, what have you seen that night?”

She had taken her time to respond, a time Rin thoughtfully gave him, and her face had turned whiter than the sheet she slept on. The same look of fear had darkened her eyes.

“I heard a noise coming from the second floor, footsteps,” she had breathed. “I was afraid Master Haru would visit his parents’ room again and get hurt, so I went there to have a look. The air was colder than ice, the wind blowing so much I thought I heard someone cried. I ran in the stairs and I turned my head to the moonlight. That’s where I saw him.” Her eyes had widened, and were shaking in fear. “I couldn’t see his face clearly but it was his silhouette, he called my name and I recognized his voice. He was so handsome, just like you; with his vibrant red uniform and white cordon, the moonlight made his medals shining like stars on his torso. And I was about to call back his name when I saw his shako, he was holding it with in right hand. I saw the hole there. It was full of blood.”

They had both remained silent after those words, and Rin had known he wouldn’t need others. His sorrow had brought him to a friendly place where he thought he could seek for peace, under the sakura tree he cherished so much, and his eyes had felt on the boat and he had thought of Goro and Ama again.

Goro, the gamekeeper...he had served with his father and Haru’s in India when he was young. His father once told him he was almost killed there, his skull had been smashed by a wide animal and without Haru’s father help, he would have ended his days far from his home. That’s where his devotion for the Nanase family came from. That’s why Rin couldn’t believe a word of Sousuke’s theory.

Rin had thought about waiting for him to set foot on earth before going back to the manor but Makoto thwarted his plans when he brought him the envelops. The letters had come quicker than expected.

Rin hid his mother’s reply in his pocket as soon as he heard Sousuke’s coming to him.

“I didn’t open Gou’s letter.” He said, giving the envelop to Sousuke.

“You know you could have, there’s no secret between you and me. Did your mother replied?”

“Not yet. But I got the Officer’s response.”

Sousuke’s hands froze on Gou’s letter. “So soon?”

Rin nodded, “It will be in four days. They need to gather enough supplies. We are awaited at sunfall in front of the bridge. They’ll have rifles for both of us.”

“That’s good news...I was considering paying another visit to the officer but if we’ve to meet so soon i don't think it will be necessary.” Sousuke cup his chin. “He's mentioning reinforcement, I wonder who else will come with us.”

“Whoever is crazy enough to follow that man. He seems to have quite an aura, to enroll so much people for the hu-”

Sousuke nudged him, Haru came to their sight. Rin barely had time to hide the letter in his pocket.

“He isn't letting you out of his sight.” Sousuke joked.

Rin sent him a dark glare.

“Dinner is ready,” he informed them. “Did you read good news?”

“Excellent! Thank you for asking. Oh, by the way, I think Goro is right here on the lake, we should tell him about Ama.”

Haru gazed briefly where Sousuke’s finger pointed, and shrugged as if he didn't care at this point.

“Do you think we could talk to him at some point?” Rin asked.

“I doubt it.” Haru replied quickly.

“Why that?”

Haru’s calm blue eyes scanned the lake, he took his time to reply. “Well. He’s on the lake.”

The three of them walked silently to the dining hall in silence.

 

***

 

 

The wind blew through the broken tower and made the wall trembled. It was getting colder every day, Tomas was scared the snow would fall sooner than expected and kill his precious flowers.

That night Sousuke made sure Rin was out of sight and went to the smoking room. He lit the last cigar the Duke had given him and inhaled deeply. No matter when he smoke one he couldn't help the bitterness to invade his lung - no, more than his lungs, it got in his heart. The Duke and Gou...she seemed happy, with her pretty dresses and her domestics and the expensive earrings, things he would never be able to give her. He knew he needed to let go, he had known from the start that she was out of his league but he had fallen for her anyway. It had been impossible to hide it from Rin to his great despair but his friend had never hold it against him. Rin had something he didn’t, he saw the good in people. Always. And at a time, Gou dragged the good out of him.

It didn’t last long but for a month or two they had spent all together Sousuke realized he could be a better man, and even if in the end all his effort turned into dust along with the lack of titles, the germ of goodness had found its way into his being and had never left him since - well, at least he tried, but as always Rin outcast him on that field.

‘ _My dear Sousuke,_

_I’m glad to see you are well and unharmed. I need to be honest with you : when I saw your letter I first thought something terrible had finally happened to you both and I have lost consciousness at the simple sight of it. The Duke had to read it for me at least ten times to reassure me. Still, as I thought Rin brought you to Aberdeen Hall at long last…_

_I have very few memories of those times. It’s strange when I think about it, as if my memories were blurry. I remember the lake and the green maze because that’s where Rin used to play the most. I remember Haruka of course, but I never really talked with him. His words were reserved for my brother, it seemed. I remember he rarely spoke to his parents as well. Now that I’m older I realize something was wrong with this family. I don’t remember seeing any love at all._

_As for the Nanases I can only say a few things. Haru’s father was very kind with us. Mother told us he had served with our father, so I respected him a lot. But Haru’s mother...it didn’t come to me at first but there is a moment I remembered, very precisely. Something terrible happened during our last summer. The boys had made a huge naughtiness and were severely reprimanded. I could hear her shouting from the second floor. I had followed mother, who alarmed by the voice had run along with Haru’s father to their room where the boys were scolded. When they opened the door, her face was all white, and her eyes redden. At first I thought she was crying but I don’t recall seeing any tears on her face. Only something terrifying coming from it...it still makes me shiver just to think about her face again. Haru’s cheek was all red and when his father saw it they started to argue even more violently...we went out with Rin and Haruka, because my mother refused to let him in. Rin cried, and Haru sweetly stroke his hand and dried his tears. He was such a sweet child, I thought back then_.

_When mother told us we would never go back to Aberdeen Hall ever again, I wasn’t surprised. She never got along with her sister in law. I asked about Haru, but she told me I didn’t need to worry about him anymore._

_I now understand fully her choice of words._

_The Duke told me about a family being eaten by the Beast that took his brother’s life away a couple of years ago, but he never mentioned the Nanases before today, like I never mentioned Aberdeen Hall in front of him. We still have so much to discover about the other. It’s a shame you couldn’t stay with us longer. You would have loved him so much. He is such a good man. I am the luckiest woman alive. To have him as a husband, to have Rin as a brother, and to have you as a friend._

_In the hope of seeing you again very soon,_

_Your sweet Gou.’_

Sousuke read the last sentence a million time and forgot the rest of the letter. He thought he had overcome this, but his heart ached too much to care about ghosts and Beasts. Why did mankind invented so many sophisticated torture weapons when it only took a woman to cause the worst injury of all?

Rin joined him - this time he had the decency to knock before coming in - and wore on his face an expression close to his own. Despite the good news, none of them had had a good day.

Rin yawned, and took a glass of whiskey instead of Haru’s tea.

“I talked to Ama.”

He stopped there. Sousuke would never know the exact words they had exchanged but it was enough to know where the interview leaded him. His face and his tears talked better than any words Sousuke knew.

After the second glass they shared, Rin started to talk a little. “You know, there’s something she told me that bugs me, it bugs le a lot.” he started.

“What is it?”

“It’s the uniform. And the medals. She described it so clearly but it was the middle of the night. How could she have seen his vibrant red uniform?”

“Red you say?” Sousuke remarked. “I thought your father was posted in India, don’t they wear sanded color tunic there?”

“...You’re right. But this time the British Army didn’t send him to India, he was supposed to serve in the Turkish Russian war and wore a red uniform. That’s why I know he must have come here, because how did she know about the red uniform then?”

Rin poured himself another drink, and said, very gravely - something that really didn’t suit it at all in highsight, Sousuke thought.

“Sousuke, I think my father came here before joining the Army. That’s the only way Ama could have seen him with his red uniform. And since she described me the hole in his head...I think that’s also where he was murdered.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tan Tan Taaaan !
> 
> I always feel sorry when I write about homophobia in this fic, but you have to remember this takes place in the victorian area, a little bit before Oscar Wilde's trial to be precise. Times were like that. I did some researches and it seems homosexuality wasn't punished by death penanity in Europe but still they were thrown in jail. Rin's friend was murderer by people, not setenced by the law. It's awful to see that humanity hasn't evolved so much since that time...
> 
> Also I love to torture Sousuke and it's not going to stop anytime soon.
> 
> I've been playing Zero escape games lately and in Zero time dilemma There's a character - Sigma - that looks so like Sousuke ! It was so disturbing. I love this game. It's going to be a great help for a lot of scenes towards the end of the fic hahaha (for those who had played it's a shame electric chainsaw didn't exist in the 19th century)
> 
> Enough of the chat, see you next chapter!


	6. VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : A little bit of gore and description of gory scenes and a huge amount of fluff.

 

 

* * *

 

# Chapter VI

.

 

Rin hadn’t slept much that night. He had dreamed, again. Sweet dreams filled with laughters, dreams where his family was happy and reunited like in the past. Everything in the dreams felt nice but for some reasons, as soon as Rin thought something along the line of ‘ _ I’d like this to last a little longer _ ’, the smiling face of his father became fuzzy and his mother’s voice cracked, only to leave him alone, falling into the void. It felt like an endless fall until he opened his eyes to the ten sakura branches ornamenting the wall in front of him, with an immense sour taste in his mouth.

 

He drank his tea alone in his room and went to the maze before everyone was up. When he reached the centre he sat on the grass, his back against the fountain and waited. The sky was cloudy, there was no trace of sunlight and the temperature suffered this effect. He couldn’t tell that he was freezing but after half an hour of staying immobile Rin was not sure he owned a littlefinger anymore. He didn’t flinched when he heard footsteps coming his way. After all, there was just one person who also knew the path by heart. Rin knew he would be coming after his daily checked with Ama. Because Ama probably told him what they spoke about yesterday.

 

Haru had brought a woollen blanket, he swathed it around Rin’s shoulders.

 

“You’ll catch a cold if you stay like this,” he said quietly.

 

Rin didn’t look at him at first; with everything that had happened the past few days he had never felt weaker in his whole life, and being weak meant he could misstep anytime as long as Haru lingered around him. His voice worked like a caress on his ears, soft and warm, reassuring; it seemed to hush the ramble in his mind - it did not make any problem disappear like by magic or revive his father’s ghost, far from it, but it felt good, in a way he couldn’t quite define. As soon as Haru stood next to him Rin’s muscles relaxed on their own. Everything,  even the silence, was comfortable and it scared him. He was falling again and he was not sure he could wake up from that kind of dream, or if he even wanted to.

 

They sat together in the silence of the morning for a couple of minute before Rin whispered a thanks. Haru had the other end of the blanket swirling around his shoulder to protect him from the cold. Yet each part of Rin's body that touched Haru’s burnt. 

 

“I’m happy for Ama,” Rin started out of nowhere, to focus on something else than Haru's natural heat, something he immediately regretted it when he heard Haru’s reply.

 

“Did she talk about what she saw?”

 

Haru’s words were always straight to the point, unlike his. It was difficult to talk about this again, but at the same time it was an impossible task to lie to Haru. 

 

“Yes, she did.” Rin confessed.

 

“You don’t look happy about it.”

 

Rin hold the blanket closer around him. “I wished things had been different. But it seemed she really saw my father’s ghost so...how could I be happy about it?”

 

“Sorry, my words were indelicate.”

 

“No, they weren’t. You’re just trying to help and I’m just complaining.”

 

Haru turned on his side to face Rin, “That’s why I’m here for.”

 

For the first time this day Rin looked at him in the eyes, his blue eyes, honest and pure, so wild and endless. He could drown in them for hours if Haru would let him do. Rin felt the heat coloring his cheek and he looked away.

 

“I’ve read somewhere that when someone is down it helps to talk about it.”

 

“You’ve never been the talking type,” Rin humoured him.

 

“But you are,” Haru got closer and grabbed his hand, “You talk, I listen.”

 

He entwined his fingers with Rin’s and then the heat spread from his hand through his whole body like an unstoppable wildfire. With all the racket his heart made in his ribcage Rin wasn't sure he had heard Haru’s words correctly. What was he trying to do? To mess him up, entirely? If it was indeed his motive then he had succeeded, because Rin had to use all of his remained forces to show him how he didn’t really want to talk at the moment and to look away from his promised lips.

 

“Do you want to talk about your father?”

 

Thoughts of Toraichi alleviated the flames inside him and forced Rin to concentrate on something else than Haru’s touch. He closed his eyes, slowly remembering his father’s smile, his silhouette...The answer might appear obvious, but the moment Rin opened his mouth it surprisingly wasn’t that simple anymore. There was many things he wanted to say, so many words Rin had kept for himself since his father’s disappearing but somehow none came to his mind; his thoughts were blank and drained, his mouth dried and frozen.

 

“I really liked him.” Haru went on, saving him from his own thoughts. It surprised Rin, he had never known. Haru had rarely spoken about other people since they had met each other.

 

“Why?” 

 

Haru merely shrugged, his typical reaction when he didn’t see the point of the question he’s being asked. “He looked gentle. He seemed to be a good father. You liked him a lot.”

 

“I  _ love _ him.” Rin corrected.

 

“Rin, your father is dead. Denying it won’t get him back to life.”

 

Haru’s word were maybe harsh but they also were always true, without any filter they were the exact reflection of reality. Rin had always found this part of him admirable and even now - especially now - he envied his outspokenness. 

 

After the pain the warmth of Haru’s pressing hand on his came back;  defeated, Rin leaned in and rested his head on Haru’s shoulder.

 

“I loved him,” he said.

 

He let the tears flood. Haru caressed his hair, his cheeks, he took the  tears away. 

  
  


“Your father, he was a good man. He made you happy and raised you well. I wished he could have raised me too.”

 

“I’d guessed you never really liked your parents…” Rin said between two sobs.

 

“They never really liked me either. But your father was nice to me too. You saved me, both of you.”

 

Rin took his head off of Haru’s shoulder, looked at him with a frown of surprise on his face. “How so?”

 

“You didn’t know?” Haru sounded just as surprised, “You…”

 

He closed his mouth all of a sudden, his eyes quivering as they sought in Rin’s gaze a sort of solid acceptation; Rin remembered when he had seen that look before - one day when they were young and very recently when Haru showed him the sakura branches in his room. Haru was scared he’d run away, again, that he’d rejected him.

 

If only he knew he couldn’t be more wrong.

 

“They...I was a constant disappointment for mother and father. I never understood why, I tried my best but whatever I did, it was never good enough for them. Before your father brought you along with him I thought this was normal, that mothers yell at their children, that parents fight all the time, that smiles were something rare on people’s faces. My life looked like a photograph before I met you; it was grey, sad, gloomy and awfully static, denuded of affection.” Haru gave him a rare smile as he went on, “When I first met you I couldn’t understand how you could exist. You were everything my life wasn’t. And then you reached me, and brought joy into my life, and since that time it had never been grey, or  sad, or gloomy again.”

 

Haru’s smiles were always so rare; Rin wondered if their rarity made them more beautiful, or if it was only because they were his that they always made him feel as if he was about to fall off a chair. They were nothing like his - wide, loud, and... _ toothy _ grins were his speciality - but instead reflected perfectly Haru’s personality, and were a privilege to be seen.

 

“Rin?” Haru called him, and Rin snapped back to reality, “Rin?? Did I say something wrong?”

 

He had been so lost in his smile that Rin had failed to see the distress his Haru’s eyes was back, when he had gotten no reply from him. What an idiot he was.

 

“No, you didn’t. You never...”

 

Rin wanted to say more, but his lids fell on his eyes and he lost sight of Haru, of his bright blue eyes, he lost sight of the world around as sleep brusquely took him away.

  
  


***

  
  


Rin had had a lot of friends when he was a child. “It’s only because you’re rich,” Kisumi had once told him, but Kisumi was just as rich and got fewer friends than Rin, so Rin concluded that Kisumi was just an idiot and jealous, and he moved on. Friends were the best thing a little boy could have in his young life, after his mother, of course. Rin loved having friends, and he thought every little boy should be as blessed as he was.

 

Then, he met Haru. How could a little boy had no friend at all? He couldn’t leave him alone! But at first, the boy looked like he didn’t want to be friend with him. It pissed him off a bit, but Rin persisted, and fought the shyness away. Rin had a new friend at the end of the summer, and it was a achievement he cherished like his biggest treasure.

 

A couple of years later Rin realized Haru had evolved into the ‘special friend’ category when Haru introduced him to one of his best friends. At first, Rin frowned; when did Haru make a new friend? Worse, what if he liked that new friend more than him? His ideal summer vacation would soon be smashed down and crushed by the existence of another little boy, better than him at every level, funnier...suddenly Rin remembered Kisumi, and felt sorry for thinking he had been an idiot. They became friends again as soon as Rin came back at the end of the summer.

 

But Haru’s new friend wasn’t a little boy, nor a little girl; he was an adult.

 

Haru brought him to the hut behind the lake, the one which door was always sealed.

 

“But, father told me never to get there,” Rin whined. “He told me it was dangerous.”

 

“It’s only because that’s where they put the shotguns and the farm equipment. There’s nothing to fear if you stay close to me.”

 

Rin happily obliged, but felt nervous as they walked closer and closer to the hut. Before he had time to voice his worry again, Haru hold his hand, and from that moment Rin decided to remain quiet as a tomb until they arrived.

 

Haru knocked, “Sir Sasabe, it’s me. I’ve brought my someone.”

 

Rin pouted, “Hey, I’m not just  _ someone _ , you know.”

 

Haru looked back at him, bemused, “That’s just what I’ve said.”

 

Both children blinked until the door finally opened.

 

Rin hadn’t meant to at that time, but he dropped Haru’s hand and cried as his eyes fell on Haru’s new friend’s face.

 

“What’s with you?” Haru asked, he sounded pissed but how could he be?

 

_ “Loon _ ! You didn’t warn him, did you?”

 

The thing before him didn't look like an human. For Rin, Haru’s friend looked like a monster, the kind of one hiding under his bed at night, waiting that he fell asleep to eat his toes. 

 

Haru showed a scared to death Rin to the monster with his tiny arm. “This is Rin.” he announced, almost timidly.

 

Sir Sasabe was the most scariest thing Rin had the chance to see in his life. Hopefully for him, despite his appearance he was totally inoffensive. He loved Haru very much, like his own son, and took care of him every time he fled out of his mother’s eyes to hide in the forest. In the end all Rin remembered from him was his warm laughs. He used to laugh a lot, he recalled it now.

 

“Rin!”

 

He also recalled his father’s voice. He was running their way with his aunt, always following his steps.

 

“Rin, we were looking for you! The gardener told us he heard someone cry-”

 

“What are you two doing here?” Haru’s mother shouted at them, again. It came to the point when Rin wondered if she knew how to talk quietly.

  
  


“Father, is aunt Kaori okay?” He asked one night when he put him and Gou to sleep. The day had been very harsh on Haru. She had found them playing around near the lake, and Haru nearly fell in the water.

 

His father sat on the bed, “Why do you ask?”

 

“Because she always says mean things to Haru when he has done nothing wrong,” Rin went on. “When Haru stumbled he was almost happy to see his mother running after him, he thought she was worried. But then she told him she didn’t care if he hurt himself as long as he doesn’t die. What kind of mother would say that to their sons?”

 

Toraichi kissed his forehead. “You’re too young to think about these kind of things.”

 

“Is she sick? Is she broken? Because Haru is really sweet with her and she keeps-”

 

“Your aunt is just a little tired, but it’s alright. If you insist I’ll make sure she will be more gentle with Haru.”

 

Rin was glad that his father did. The following day, he spied on them, and saw his father talking very quietly with his aunt, holding her hands; he even saw her crying for the first time. After that time she stopped yelling, and Haru felt more happier than ever. He even spent time with her, cooking, sewing, walking in the garden...Rin felt proud of himself, but at the same time, wondered why his father had to intervene, and what it took him to make her changed her behaviours so drastically.

 

“Hello my boy,”

 

Kaori’s honey voice took young Rin by surprised. He had been caught despite his perfect hide behind the bushes.

 

“Were you spying on us?” she inquired.

 

“Kaori...please, he’s just a child.”

 

She had looked rather serene in this memory, nothing like the fury and the yelling creature Rin had sometimes witnessed - but maybe his childhood memories weren’t a hundred percent accurate, now that he thought about it, they probably weren’t - and after he took a good look at her face he realized, for the very first time, that Kaori Nanase was beautiful, even breathtakingly beautiful. They had the same eyes, he thought then, Haru and her mother. Her hair were deep black, her sink very pale and her lips fresh and pink like a rose after dew.

 

Kaori knelt in front of him and took both of his wrist between her hands, and hold them very tightly, “I think he was too far to hear us anyway,” she said sweetly, holding his gaze, “Plus, if he had heard us he would have run away already, don’t you think?”

 

Rin gave her a forced smile, and walked away as soon as his wrist were released.

 

Toraichi watched his son running away and disappear behind another alley of bushes, “You overdid it again.” He sighed, and sent a glance at his sister. “He just really adores Haru, you must be happy about that. They are good to each other.”

 

“Toraichi, I know my boy more than you do yours; I know what’s really good to him, and what is not. You’ll see, in a couple of years, what these two will be capable of.” She replied very quietly.

 

Rin, back under the bushes, could almost hear the smile in her voice. It froze something in his blood, and he never dared to look into his aunt’s eyes again.

  
  


***

  
  


When he woke up Rin realized there was something wrong with him. He was hot, couldn’t feel his back anymore, and more importantly where did all those dreams come from? He had never had visions of Aberdeen Hall before coming here, so why? Could it be that Sousuke had been wrong all along, that the place was and had always been haunted, or propice to supernatural phenomena like for the Bermuda triangle?

 

The sight as he woke up startled him, her blue eyes welcomed him with a smile - no, it was Haru. Just Haru, shivering in the cold while Rin was secured in his arms, his whole body swathed in the blanket.

 

“Welcome back,” he murmured with a smile.

 

God, his lips were almost turning blue; how long had he stayed like this? How long had he slept? Rin freed himself from the wooden blanket and put it on Haru, “You idiot,” he hissed, “You bloody  _ idiot- _ ”

 

“You looked so serene,” Haru was smiling fondly, but his lips were trembling with cold,  “I didn’t want to wake you.”

 

His hand reached a lock that was in the middle of Rin’s face and had nothing to do there, and put it behind his ear. Rin felt then the coldness of Haru’s fingers against his cheek. What he did next had been a reflex, but he truly wished he hadn’t took Haru’s hand and stuck it fully against his cheek. Rin hadn’t noticed until that moment just how close they were, with his legs laying on Haru’s lap and Haru holding him by the waist.

 

What did Haru right after that made him heart stopped for a couple of second ; he linked their forehead, their nose touching, and when he spoke his breath blew on his skin.

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

The Rin from two weeks ago would have probably laugh awkwardly, mumbling some ‘what, me? really, oh no you’re kidding me’ or any nonsense of the sort, and putting this frontal proposition aside with the back of his hand. But two weeks in Aberdeen Hall had been enough to change Rin’s world from top to bottom and now, he didn’t know what to do anymore, what to think. He needed someone to guide him; a long time ago he had chosen God to enlighten the path ahead of him but he couldn’t count on him anymore, not with all the impure thoughts germinating in his head.

 

As Rin remained silent Haru leaned in and it’s in extremis that Rin was able to stop him before the unforgivable happened. “Wait,” he barely managed to interpose a finger between their lips, “Wait, please.”

 

“If you didn’t want it you would have told me already.” Haru said, so annoyingly, why did he always have to be right?

 

“It’s not that simple!” Rin hissed.

 

“You’re wrong, it is. I want to kiss you. You want me to kiss you. That’s it. There’s nothing more. No one is going to judge you here. If you care so much about this, no one will ever see us here.” Haru spoke softly as his finger kept caressing Rin’s cheek. They were getting colder, or maybe it was his cheek that had grown hotter, who knew.

 

Haru leaned in again and Rin withdraw, “I told you to wait! I...Haru please, listen to me!” he begged, as he saw Haru’s annoyed face and his frown deepened dramatically. “Haru, it’s just, if you kiss me there won’t be any turning back you know?” He didn’t know how to explain, in the heat of the moment Rin couldn’t think straight. “Once I taste your lips I’m not sure I’ll be able to ignore them afterwards.”

 

This was, in his memory, the most lame attempt of confession he had heard in his whole life, it sounded so cheesy but Rin doubt Haru caught the hint there.

 

“...I don’t mind that.” Haru replied.

 

Rin knew more than anyone that he was risking both of their lives if anyone - mostly Father Ryuugazaki - were to see them, but at some point he had to admit the inevitable. There was nothing left in the world that could prevent them from kissing; and so, they did.

 

It never occurred to Rin before that Haru had never kissed anyone in his life except him. At first it left a gush of pride invading his chest but he soon realized how many things he could learn Haru. His cold lips were merely crushing his, too strongly and their noses bumped into each others.

 

“What?” Haru said when Rin broke the kiss quickly.

 

Rin replied with a proper kiss, with his lips softly melting with Haru’s as he cupped his chin and inclined his head just a little so that they nose wouldn’t collide. He merely brushed past Haru’s lips at first, enjoying the warmth spreading from their intimacy, something he had longed for so long. He hadn’t realized how much he had needed it until now. All those times, in Vienna, Prague, Florence, Paris, all those lips he had kissed, they seemed so hollow. The enjoyable memories they had generated in Rin’s mind evaporated the moment he tasted Haru. He felt he had run all his life, looking for something, travelled all around the world when it had been so simple, so evident form the very beginning. He had been running away from Haru and he was tired, tired of controlling his wants and desire in the name of an old man he had never met. 

 

His full lips kissed Haru again, a little bit harder, and Haru kissed back just eagerly. Rin’s hand found its way in Haru’s mane, scratching his skull as he bent his head a little bit more to get a better angle. Haru was a quick learner; his hand got on the crook of Rin’s neck as his thumb brushed his jaw. It wasn’t much, it was just a first and innocent kiss but gosh, it felt like a lot more. Haru’s lips tasted of freedom. 

 

Rin’s tongue ached behind his teeth; he wanted to discover more of Haru mouth and body here and now but he knew things would go out of hand if they did, and Haru risked freezing to death if they go on any longer so he broke the kiss. 

 

Haru had kept his eyes wide opened it seemed. “Can I kiss you again?” He politely asked.

 

There was a kind of candor in his voice that made Rin smiled from the bottom of his heart. “Haru maybe we-”

 

But Haru didn’t wait for an answer and leaned in to capture Rin’s lips in his own. To his greatest surprise he was the one who licked his lips, timidly at first, leaving Rin no choice but to challenge him. He opened his mouth to run the flat on his tongue on Haru’s, and then in his lips. Haru broke the kiss quickly.

 

“That felt weird.” he said.

 

“It’s called French kissing.” Rin told him, laughing. “You’ll get used to it. Now, we need to get back before you catch a pneumonia again.”

 

“But kissing you makes me hot.” Haru complained.

 

His words coloured Rin’s cheeks with a bright and intense red, and he chose to ignore the provocation - if only Haru knew the impact of his words sometimes, Rin wondered if he even meant everything he had told him so far. Before he lost his temper and kiss Haru again Rin got back on his feet. To his surprise, he didn’t feel cold at all despite the weather; his heart was racing like a madman, spreading the warmth Haru had caused inside him to every inch of his body to the tips of his toes. He left the blanket on Haru’s shoulder.

 

“Come on, the other might be looking for us.”

 

The cold stroke back, freezing his bones.

 

_ The others. _

 

Haru took the hand Rin proposed him to get on his feet as well and pulled him into a hug. Rin circled his shoulder and rested his chin there. He couldn’t believe he had just kissed Haru, the boy he had always liked and looked up to, but on the other hand something from the outside paralyzed his arms. Rin quickly figured out what it was, the unforgettable image of a hanged man came to his mind as soon as the bliss was gone.

 

The others must never know.

 

“We shall not do this in front of the others, okay?” He told Haru, hiding his face his the crook of his neck. “This needs to be our secret. We’re not safe around other people.”

 

Rin was glad Haru understood perfectly what he meant, and he kissed him one last time before they left. They walked slowly, hand in hand, through the green maze. 

  
  


“May I ask you something?” Rin said, they had just reached maybe half of the way back, they still had time.

 

“Of course.”

 

“Where have you...you know. Where have you heard of, kissing and stuff?”

 

Haru had licked his lips, that’s not something Rin thought he would do, not when he had spent all his life cloistered between the four walls of the manor.

 

“I read a lot about love and sex,” Rin choked, but Haru went on very naturally, “And I also remember my mother kissing and other domestics like Makoto’s parents. Plus, my bedroom is just above Ama and Goro’s so…” Haru gave him a glance. “Does it surprise you that much? I’m a man after all, I have to know these things.”

 

In a way Haru made sense, but it  _ was  _ Haru.

 

“I don’t know. It shouldn’t, I guess. Actually I never thought you would be interested in such things.”

 

“Most people here think I don’t have any interest, or that I’m too stubborn to learn anything. Have you heard of Russell, my father’s cousin?” Haru asked.

 

“Not at all,” Rin lied, he wasn’t sure he was supposed to know about him.

 

“He had been in the British Army with our fathers and Goro. He married Goro’s sister but they never got children. Since he’s my father’s closest relative Russell had been leading my father’s company for ten years now. I’m supposed to take over in a couple of months but no one here seem to think it’s a good idea. I am myself not sure that I really want to...at least, that’s what I thought before you came back here.”

 

Rin had no idea Haru knew that much about his domestics’ plans and bet neither did they - Haru kept his cards closed to his chest it seemed, and Rin was kind of relieved he had not been the only one fooled by his nonchalance. Yet, his words made no sense to him.

 

“How did I help you? How could I?” He asked.

 

“I don’t know, I guess just you being there motivates me to do my best. You know since you came here my jaw hurts at the end of the day, because it had been a long time since I haven’t spoken that much.” Haru confessed.

 

Rin laughed, he could not believe his ears, “Seriously Haru, are you kidding me?”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Really?”

 

Haru halted his steps.

 

“What?” Rin stopped as well.

 

“...You have no idea of how a hell my life had been since you were gone.”

 

The next thing he knew was that Haru had captured his waist again, and was holding him so tightly he had trouble breathing properly. “I was so happy when I saw you were back that my mind went blank. I felt like living in a prison, but now that you’re here everything will be alright. Tell me you won’t leave me again.”

 

Rin caressed the small of his back, he could feel his frame trembling under his touch. “Never again,” he murmured. “I won’t leave you.”

 

“Good.” Haru smiled against Rin’s neck.

 

They stayed in each other’s embraces for a moment before reaching the main hall, a moment Rin took to imagine all the things he could do to make Haru’s jaw hurt at the end of the day.

  
  


***

 

 

_ ‘ _ _ We still have so much to discover about the other. It’s a shame you couldn’t stay with us longer. You would have loved him so much. He is such a good man. I am the luckiest woman alive. To have him as a husband, to have Rin as a brother, and to have you as a friend.’ _

 

A friend, Sousuke thought. 

 

Tomorrow he would risk his life knowing for sure that Gou had always considered him as a simple friend.

 

There was this masochist part of him who loved getting into trouble and which decided, out of nowhere, that reading Gou’s letter in a moment of vulnerability was a good idea. If thinking about her made his heart in peace most of the time, today was not the case. Today Sousuke felt jealous. Today Sousuke thought it might be his last chance to confess to his love.

 

_ ‘I am the luckiest woman alive. To have him as a husband, to have Rin as a brother, and to have you as a friend.’ _

He had bought a ring in Florence, before she met the Duke. He had never dared to propose. Why would he now all of the sudden, when she was the happiest person alive, how could he think his little ego could destroy her happiness?

 

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t send the ring, he couldn’t even start writing something on the damn paper. He loved Gou, he would probably always love her, and he would keep on looking after her far and away. That’s all he could do.

 

The fact that Sousuke was a hundred percent sure they wouldn’t find anything in this stupid forest didn’t give him the last resolve it would have taken for him to confess.

 

He felt stupid. He hated Scotland. He hated that place. He wanted to be out of there.

 

When the night fell Sousuke discreetly left the manor by the main entrance and headed to the lake. He wanted to shout just to evacuate the tension, the stress, the constant reminder that he had been the one to fuck up. If only he had proposed sooner maybe...but what was the point of putting the world to rights with an infinite number of impossible scenario? It would only hurt him in the end. He needed to move on, that was the only solution.

 

He got the ring in the palm of his hand. He was standing in front of the lake.

 

“UHUaaaaah !!”

 

With all his might Sousuke threw the ring in the middle of the lake. The corner of his eyes felt hot and his vision blurred but he refused to spare a tear on his own incompetence. Tears were for Rin. The ring fell, and he never saw it again. 

 

He thought his heart would felt lighter after this. He was wrong. Sousuke only felt a lot more stupid than before. 

 

But his little expedition wasn’t pointless, on the contrary. Through his blurry vision, he caught something unexpected, a providentiel sight, the one he had stopped waiting for. There was light coming from the hut. The gamekeeper was there, it was his chance to get the answers he had been looking for.

 

He approached the hut very quietly, his steps brushing the grass like a caress. Sousuke hold his breath as he leaned against the wall; there was definitely someone moving inside the hut. Through the window Sousuke peered into the room; it was a real mess, with hunting guns, stakes, forks and a shovel, all covered with dirt. There were even part of animal corpses shattered here and there. What a pigsty, Sousuke thought, and just imaging how horrible it must smell in the hut almost took his resolve away.

 

But then he saw him, his ultimate goal. Sasabe Goro, the gamekeeper, the man who saved the young Nanase out of the flames, chased after the Beast at the risk of his life, and brother in law of Russell Robinson, replacement of the head of the Nanase’s empire.

 

His back was large, almost just as his own. Sousuke couldn’t see his face from this perspective but it already felt off. The proportion weren’t harmonious, it was way too small compared to the rest of his body. After his back Sousuke caught a glimpse of his eyes, as Goro turned around from his working surface and caught him staring. Red, like blood; furious red eyes sending him dagger through the thin glass of the window. But there was no turning back, Sousuke didn’t have anything to lose anyway. Another refusal would equate a confession.

 

Sousuke swallowed his saliva and knocked; when he got no reply he tried again, with a little bit more enthusiasm.

 

The door opened, eventually, when he was about to knock for the third time.

 

Finally, Sousuke saw the man’s face.

 

Goro was taller than any man he had met. He was also, probably, the most terrifying thing he had ever seen. Sousuke had seen horrors during anatomy classes but nothing like wounds this man had suffered. He should have been dead, he caught himself thinking, it looked like the right half of his head had been torn apart or crushed to the ground and dragged along on kilometres.  A giant scar stood in place of his right ear and his skull had gone, leaving what Sousuke identified as his brain, directly under his scalp. His traits were rough, severe, marked by years of hatred.

 

The fact that he lived shut off in his hut didn’t appear to be off all of a sudden. Goro literally looked like a monster.

 

“You’re still pulling my legs, again. What are you doing here?”

 

“I was walking around the lake when I saw the lights,” Sousuke started. “I wish to have a word with you, if possible.”

 

Goro squinted his left eye, “Don’t speak more, Tomas told me you were a real snoop. You want to know what happened ten years ago.”

 

Sousuke nodded, but did not withdrew in spite of the man’s aggressivity. Worse, he stepped inside the hut without an invitation. “I do, and I was told you were the best man I could ask for.”

 

“There is nothing good coming from the past,” Goro replied, and showed the missing part of his head, “Look what the past did to me, I wouldn’t be there talking with you if I had been thinking about the past for too long.”

 

“What happened to your head?”

 

The question came rather extempore. Sousuke’s curiously needed to be satisfied, a medical mystery had always taken the best of everything he was into. To his greatest surprise Goro remained bemused for a second or two, not knowing where to stand. After a moment he finally opened to door entirely and let Sousuke in.

 

It didn’t smell as badly as Sousuke had imagined.

 

“Wait a bit here,” he said, Sousuke obliged and found a seat next to the table, and when Goro came back he had a hat on his hand and half of his face was hidden behind a scarf.

 

“I’m not used to show my face for so long,” he explained.

 

“I don’t mind. I understand.”

 

Goro took a seat in front of him. “I don’t think you do.” He replied severely.

 

Sousuke shut his mouth, and let the man speak.

 

“When I was young we were all serving in the British Army : Rin’s father Toraichi, Haru’s father Asou, his cousin Russell, and me. We all became friend quickly as we were on a mission in India. One day there was an accident with one of the elephant, and he did this to me.” Goro pointed to his head, Sousuke swallowed his saliva. “Asou and Toraichi took me out of this hell, and when I got out of the hospital, barely alive, with that face, they gave me a job and a home. I’ve been working at the manor ever since.”

 

“You own him your life?” Sousuke pressed on.

 

“Asou saved me more than once. He saved what was left of my brain and gave me a reason to live.” Goro dropped his head, his hand curled into a ball on the table. “I was devastated when I found their bodies. He was a good man, I can’t think of anyone who could have done that to him.”

 

Sousuke bit his lips; Rin was right on that part, he really adored his old master; which meant his assumption might not be as close to the truth as he would like them to be.

 

“What happened ten years ago?” He asked then. “You spoke about robbers to the police at first, where did it come from?”

 

“I don’t know, honestly.” Goro replied. “I was in shock, I didn’t want to believe what had happened and what I saw that night. My sicky brain came out with that idea...but the more I thought about it, the more absurd it was. If you’re so curious I’m going to tell you what happened...” 

 

Goro put his elbow on the table and took a deep breath. 

 

“The Beast came into their rooms and attacked them. When Haruka heard their screams he got off of his bed and walked to their rooms. His mother tried to protect him and scared the Beast with fire, which caused the blaze. I ran to their room as soon as I heard the screams. Asou had been half eaten by that monster, and the rest of his body was ripped apart on the bed, his bowel were in the open air. Haru was bathed in his mother’s blood. Her right arm and half of her side was missing. It was a miracle the kid got nothing, I took him by the arm and brought him to our room. By the time I came back the fire had carbonized the rest of their bodies, it took us a while to extinguish the flames, and hopefully it started raining that night. By the time we came back to your senses no one thought of the aggressor and no one tried to find them. I found the tracks in the morning... Let me tell you something, young man. I saw the paws of the elephant that crushed my face coming in slow motion; but this was nothing next to what I felt on this fateful day when I saw the tracks, and realized It wasn’t something...natural.”

 

Goro halted in his tale and let a shiver ran down his spine as the revived the horror of that night.  “When that evil creature took another victim a couple of years later I was devastated. I even thought about leaving, but I couldn’t let Haruka alone. I promise Asou I’d look after his kid. You understand that?” Goro asked, but Sousuke could not replied. He could not believe a single word that had been spoken. It couldn’t be true! Goro must be lying, there was no other possibilities.

 

“Do you fear that Beast that much?”

 

“Young man, have you been paying attention to what I said? It  _ devoured _ my friends.” Goro almost shouted.

 

“What if I told you we are about to deal with it for good?” Sousuke replied.

 

It was in triumph card. The unexpected piece of information he needed to destabilize a well established story. Sousuke smirked when he saw Goro’s reaction; the poor man was so stunned he couldn’t speak a word - or close his mouth.

 

“...What do you mean by that?” Goro inquired after the shock passed.

 

Sousuke got up, signalling his prompt departure, “Tomorrow Rin and I will be part of an expedition in the woods, along with Officer Kirishima and some of his men. We will hunt the Beast and kill It before It does any more harm.”

 

“Fools! You’re all fools!” Goro yelled, and thumbed the table, “You have no idea of what you’re getting yourself into! The Beast is a span of Satan, you won’t be able to do anything against It!”

 

“I beg to differ on that matter.” 

 

“I don’t care about what you think! Did you think about Rin? About what could happen to him?” Goro added, visibly in rage, “At least you should leave him out of it! He had nothing to do with it!”

 

“He agreed on coming with us willingly. I did not force him to.”

 

“You’re a reckless idiot ! All of you ! You’re going to get yourself killed for naught!”

 

“Well, we’ll see.”

 

“Get out of my sight!”

 

Goro unceremoniously threw Sousuke out of his hut and slammed the door behind him. What a shame, he really wanted to ask about Rin’s father, but maybe he pushed his luck too far by announcing the hunt so bluntly. Goro looked positively scared of the Beast, a thing that highly trouble Sousuke. Was he missing something? Why did so many people believe in the unbelievable, of something no one had seen directly?

 

What were the other possibilities?

 

What if there were none?

 

Was Sousuke foolish to refuse to believe in a evil creature when the world was still full of mysteries to be enlightened?

 

He gained his room with his heart full of doubts, and the storm that broke out during the night didn’t help. Thunder resonated in the second floor,s corridor, the echoed sounded like Death’s steps, coming closer, and closer, and closer…

  
  


He wished he had kept the ring.

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm usually a bit talkative but I was on ER duty last night so I'm exhausted. I've been reading my chapter aloud to find more typos...I hope it worked better. But I'm awfully tired so it is not certain.  
> I love to torture Sousuke and have a sweet tooth for unrequired sougou. I guess you have already notice. Beware that Sousuke won't have it easy from that point. Actually the story starts to get darker by next chapter and no one would be spared.  
> I'm almost done with it by the way, chapter 13 is almost finished and chapter 14 (which will probably be 20k or something) will be the last. I'm already sad about the perpective of finishing this...hopeful I hope the story will live with you!  
> It's always nice to read your comments so feel free to drop one, or kudos or share the story with your horror friendly friends! see you :)


	7. VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I remember correctly, 7 is the number of heaven, the perfect number in Christianism, and 6 (7-1!) is the number of Evil and Hell, 666 being Satan's number.  
> Well  
> Let's just say that it doesn't work for chapter 7. Or rather let's say chapter I was a prologue and this, is the real chapter 6.

**Warning** : Blood, violence, gore

* * *

# Chapter VII

.

 

The sun had barely hit the ground that day when Sousuke took down the stairs to meet up with Rin in the Hall. It had been raining cats and dogs the whole day and the grey clouds still obscured the sky above Aberdeen Hall when the tima had come. It’s not without a knock in the stomach that Sousuke advanced, holding almost mechanically the handrail a little bit too harshly.

 

“I told you, it’s going to be okay.”

 

His ears caught Haruka’s whispers, his eyes the sight of their hands holding. He chose to step back for a moment, to leave them the time they needed to say goodbye - who knew, it could be their last. Maybe Sousuke wouldn’t be able to see Gou again, maybe the Beast would eat him alive as soon as he would step on Its territory.

 

“I know, I know, it's just...” Rin replied, and then right after that there was a noise that’s not a word, and that was how Sousuke learned they had finally crossed the line. “It doesn’t look like me at all, to be all stressful for nothing.”

 

“You’re usually the one jumping in feet first in trouble.” Haru mocked him, amorously.

 

Sousuke cleared his throat and made himself visible from the lovebirds. “Rin, there you are.”

 

There was nothing as priceless as the look on Rin’s face when he realized they had been caught in the act. “Oh, I hadn’t heard you coming.” - Of course he didn’t!

 

“I should probably go,” Haru dropped Rin’s hands and kissed his forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

Rin blushed, probably from ears to toes. “What did I tell you?” He stammered, sending a furious look behind his shoulder in case someone else had seen them.

 

Haruka cocked his head, “Sousuke isn’t part of the  _ ‘others’ _ , is he?” He simply said before going.

 

Sousuke had no idea of what it meant.

  
  


Makoto brought them three horses as they passed the entrance door.

 

“Where is Goro?” Rin asked.

 

“He said he doesn’t want to have anything to do with this,” the butler apologized. “He spoke to my father about your...discussion,” he told Sousuke. “You have to forgive him. He has already lost so much to the Beast.”

 

“Who is the third horse for? Are you coming with us?” Rin asked him as he mounted.

 

“That would be me.”

 

Sousuke let out a sigh of relief as Tomas got out of behind one of the camellia bushes. He was the man he trusted the most within Aberdeen’s walls and found his presence reassuring; his eyes were kind and calm, it gave him the feeling that, with a man like him riding with them nothing could reach them, not even the Beast.

 

Tomas patted his horse’s head before mounting him, “Sir Yamazaki I have to admit you are full of resources. I would have never thought Goro would let anyone enter his hut, and you even made him talk! It’s quite admirable.”

 

“Is it really?”

 

“Goro doesn’t really like showing his face very much,” Rin told him. “But I guess you know why now. He used to terrify me when I was a kid. I remember that only yesterday.”

  
  


They took down the white pebbled path to the bridge where Officer Kirishima was waiting for them. Tomas was leading the way.

 

“Rin, by the way, what were you discussing with Haruka before I interrupted?”

 

Rin got red again, “No-nothing at all.”

 

“Congratulation by the way.”

 

“Would you  _ shut up _ ,” Rin hissed.

 

Sousuke smiled, but the man who could shut him up wasn’t born yet, “I just wanted to know if you told him about the hunt, nothing more than that. The rest is not my business.”

 

Rin gave him a skeptical look before replying. “I did. Why? Was it a bad idea?”

 

“You told him about the Beast?” Rin nodded. “That’s strange...I was told Its existence had been kept secret from him.”

 

Rin frowned, “Well I can assure you that he knew very well of what I was talking about.”

 

“Do you know who told him, by any means? Did he mention it?”

 

“No, I didn’t ask since I ignored it was supposed to be unknown to him. I’ll try when we return.”

 

“ _ If _ we return,” Sousuke corrected him.

 

“What’s with you? You’re strange, you look under the weather. Aren’t you the one who told me this was just going to be a walk in the park and a huge waste of time? Now you look even more scared than me!”

 

“I’m sorry, I just, I’m tired, I didn’t slept well.” It wasn’t really a lie since he had slept badly, but his effort to cover his worries were insufficient for Rin not to found out and he knew that.

 

“Sousuke, what did Goro tell you to change your mind?”

 

“About what?” he replied, on the defensive.

 

“About the Beast?” Rin said.

 

The horses halted as they reached their destination. Officier Kirishima was waiting for them along with the forensic and two other people. Among them Sousuke recognized, with great regret, the Duke’s silhouette, and next to him was the policeman who welcomed them at the station the other day.

 

“Seijuro! You were the last person I expected to see today,” Rin met his soon to be brother-in-law as he saw him, “How is my sister?”

 

The Duke answered with a triumphal smile. “She is radiant! We couldn’t be happier. Of course we would sleep soundly again only when we do get rid of that bloody Beast once and for all.”

 

Suddenly Rin seemed to remember who the other victim of the Beast had been and he tried to hide his embarrassment by talking about Gou again. Sousuke, still deeply wounded by his feeling for the unattainable woman, chose to step aside; he directed his attention to the young officer.

 

“I’m pleased to see you.” Officer Kirishima started. As if he was going to back off.

 

“I never thought there would be so few of us. Where are your men?”

 

“Unfortunately the Beast is a very powerful name in Edlington,” the forensic explained. “Have we met yet? I don’t remember your name.”

 

“We did, very briefly. I’m Yamazaki Sousuke.” He said, a little bit upset not to have made a bigger impression the week before.

 

“It’s not him,” the officer told him. “Matsuoka is the one talking with the Duke as we speak.”

 

“Oh, I see.” he said, pensive. “My name is Nao Serizawa, I’m a friend of Natsuya. And this is a new recruit, Aiichiro Nitori.”

 

“Hi Sir!” the young man said. He looked enthusiastic, but unaware of the danger they might be running to.

 

“Pleased to meet you. I’m Rin’s best friend.” Sousuke said. “Do you want to talk to him before we move?”

 

“Not really, we can talk while riding. Shall we go?” Nao proposed. “This is not going to be an easy journey.”

 

Nao gave Sousuke two rifles - one for each shoulders - a whistle and a torch. Would that be enough though, if they were to encounter the Beast? Sousuke chose to ignore his fears and doubts for the time being, because in the end he knew everything was just an irrational fear, and that the thought of never seeing Gou again drove him to doubt his own mind.

 

The Duke and Rin were friendly chatting when they joined them.

 

“...and she does that thing with her eyebrows when she’s mad at me but refuse to admit-”

 

“Sir, please, leave that chitchat for later,” Natsuya gave him a rifle as well, “And take this.”

 

The Duke politely refused it, showing he had his own big rifle already on his back. “I only trust my  _ lady _ over there, if you don’t mind it.”

 

The Duke’s rifle was clearly something else - bigger, more refined, and probably way more deadly. Tomas had brought his own weapon as well but Natsuya insisted he took another one, just in case.

 

It was time to start the hunt. Sousuke felt the knock of his stomach grew so wildly that it prevent him from breathing properly.

 

“Gentlemen, we are gathered today for the greatest cause. To confirm the existence of the creature which is known as ‘the Beast’ and, if so, to kill It.” Natsuya announced. “Before we start the expedition, does anyone have something he’d like to say?”

 

The officer’s eyes fell on Sousuke, he looked away.

 

“I don’t know about you but I hold a certain grudge against this wide animal, or whatever it is,” the Duke hold his rifle closed to his chest, “So if you don’t mind I’d like to give the final blow myself.”

 

“I don’t think anyone here would mind.” Tomas replied.

 

“Neither do I.” Rin added.

 

“Good. Thank you, everyone. Finally my heart will maybe be able to rest in peace, after such a long time…”

 

They had chosen to explore the woods to look for clues at sunset, and to go deeper into the forest when night came. Since It was said to be attracted by light, the officer bet on their torches to force the Beast to come out of hiding.

 

“Are you feeling well?”

 

Officer Kirishima rode next to Sousuke, his eyes had been studying his face for some time now, Sousuke had noticed. His trouble might be visible despite his tremendous efforts to hide it from everyone’s view.

 

“In my memories you looked more confident,” the officer went on, “More detached as well. I heard you talked with the gamekeeper; was he able to change your mind?”

 

Sousuke knew he didn’t, but the answer he had found in his heart wasn’t one he wanted to share with the rest of the group - especially not with a certain someone. “Well, the prints on your files and Goro’s story match, so maybe there’s a possibility; but I still highly doubt the existence of an fiendish creature hiding in the woods.”

 

“And yet you look scared.”

 

“This is hardly a rational fear.” Sousuke replied.

 

“I thought you were a scientist.”

 

“I’m studying to be a surgeon, actually.”

 

“So what could make you succumb to irrationality?” Natsuya gazed away where Tomas the gardener and the Duke were talking, ahead of them. “Could it be love?”

 

Sousuke gasped, and hold his reins tighter to contain his discomfort.

 

“How did you...”

 

Natsuya looked back at him, his eyes gentle, “It’s my job to find out secrets people wants to hide. One of my mentor taught me that I should always start looking where people refuse to. You’ve not once spare a glance to the Duke, and being one of Rin Matsuoka’s closed friend you must have met his sister. It was a pretty simple riddle, the simplest of all, actually.”

 

“Love, money, vengeance,” Sousuke said, “The holy trinity of crimes.”

 

Natsuya nodded. “In my experience a crime’s resolution often depends on the gathering of information about these three variable of the individuals involved.”

  
  


Since Tomas and the Duke had already been in the woods, chasing the Beast in the past when the Duke’s little brother had unfortunately been slaughtered, they were leading the expedition; but after an hour of intense searches none prints or sign of the Beast had been found. The sun was dangerously flirting with the pines’ crowns as time flew, it was slowly but surely getting dark. What would they do if there wasn’t any print to be found, just like Sousuke expected? Would they search deeper in the woods, or would they retrace their steps?

 

Behind them, Rin was scrutinizing the ground for some prints along with the young policeman Aiichiro - but for the moment their efforts drew a blank. Rin was merely faking to be interested in the search though, distracted by Aiichiro’s incessant chatters and the forensic's insistant look on his face, as if he had something painted on it. Nao rode close to Rin, a little bit too much for his taste.

 

“Do I have something on my face?” He asked, eventually, when Aiichiro got quiet for a while.

 

It seemed his harsh tone took the man by surprise. “I didn’t mean to be intrusive. I just couldn’t help but noticed that you do not share any facial trait with your aunt.”

 

Rin frowned, his eyes left the ground to look at Nao properly. “My aunt? You knew her?”

 

“I didn’t, I arrived in the area a couple of years ago - she had already passed away. But as I looked into old reports concerning the manor I found her name, and an old photograph. She was only 15 by then.” Nao told him. “At that time, she was accused of murder on one of the manor’s employee.”

 

“Murder? Aunt Kaori?” Rin almost had to slow down. “My father never told me about this.”

 

“And for a good reason; the accusation was purely outlandish. One of the cook had caught a rare form of tuberculosis and died within the day. His mother accused your aunt of being a witch, and the affair was closed shortly after that.”

 

“Have you learnt by heart all of Edlington’s crime history?” Rin questioned him. “Maybe you’ve heard of my father. Toraichi Matsuoka, that was his name.”

 

The forensic nodded. “I’ve looked for your father’s name but I’m afraid I’ve only seen your aunt’s in our history. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you any more than that.”

 

Rin turned his disappointment into a fake smile, “Well, that’s not surprising considering how my aunt...was,” he admitted. “She had always been a bit strange. I think she would have liked to be a real witch.”

 

“Really?”

 

“ I’ve found something!”

 

The whole group stopped and looked where Aiichiro had shouted. The young policeman dismounted and, very slowly, approached the wood’s fringe with his hand pulling the branches away. Rin and Nao followed him closely. 

 

“It’s the same…” Rin breathed, “Like in the reports you showed me, the exact same prints on the loose ground.”

 

Sousuke’s heart stammered in his ribcage, but couldn't find the strength to dismount and take a look for himself. As long as he remained on his horse the print wasn't real, and if there was no print, there was no Beast. 

 

“Gentlemen, shall we go?”

 

Natsuya got off his horse with a daring smile on his face, the one of a man who had found, after all these years, what he had been searching for. The officer had been ready to meet with the Beast, that's where the difference lay. Sousuke hadn't. He went as far as refuting even Its existence. There couldn't be any prints in the ground, because he was not ready for it.

 

“Sousuke!” it was Rin’s voice, “what are you waiting for?”

 

His voice took him back to solid ground. Sousuke dismounted as well, he definitely couldn't leave Rin alone, facing the unimaginable without him by his side.

 

He walked very slowly toward the rest of the group. They were all talking, whispering, yet it was nothing but noise to his ears. Sousuke lifted a branch that was blocking the view and his eyes fell on Rin’s face; the way his friend looked back at him gave him all the information he needed. He already knew how fucked up they were before he saw it. The print, almost identical to the ones in the police report, froze his blood more than Goro’s face had the day before. It certainly looked similar to the picture he’d seen in the police office but seeing it for real was an entire other story. It was so wide that Natsuya sat in the middle of it, and with his legs stretched his feet barely reached the end of the Beast’s toes. A man’s foot was ridiculously small compared to it. How big was the Beast which this print belong to?

 

The Duke and Tomas had never looked so serious. “Let's look for more.” The Duke said. 

 

“We should also light our torches, in the depth of the forest the leaves will forbid any sunrays to enlighten our steps.” Nao warned them. “You should also verify your rifle, make sure it's loaded, and that you're comfortable with handing it.”

 

Natsuya lit his torch first, then used it to light the others. 

 

“I recognize the area, I went here once when we were looking for your younger brother, my lord,” Tomas told the Duke. “If you don’t have any objection I’d like to lead the expedition. I might have an idea of where to look for more prints.”

 

Everybody was in ebullition, searching, moving, doing something, yet Sousuke could only follow with his mind as blank as a white canva as they advanced deeper into the forest. Each of their steps carefully following Tomas’, each branches cracking under their boots sending a shiver of dread into their bones. None dared to speak unnecessarily from that moment.

 

Tomas halted after a couple of minutes of careful search. “Here.” He murmured. 

 

Nao and Natsuya knelt in front of a new couple of prints. “These ones are fresh,” the forensic said, “they can't be more than are couple of hours old.”

 

“How many are there?” The Duke asked.

 

“A dozen at the most.” Rin had walked ahead with Tomas and the young Aiichiro to follow the prints’ path. “It splits into two at this point.”

 

Sousuke was still bringing up the rear and avoided looking at the ground with a stubborn dedication. If he didn't look, it could not reach him. It could not be real.

 

“You're still in denial.” 

 

Natsuya came close to him and took one of his rifle. He weighed it and then checked the ammunition. “And you forgot to load.”

 

Indeed he had. “I…”

 

He had also forgotten how to use his voice.

 

“For God’s sake, Yamazaki get a hold of yourself! We will need every forces at hand to defeat the Beast, we cannot afford to look after a dead weight when we'll be facing It!”

 

“I know, I'm sorry,” he said when he found his voice back. ”It's just that I wasn't prepared for this.”

 

“No one is prepared to meet this kind of monster. And if some think they are, then they’re fools and are ought to die.”

 

In the end Sousuke realized they were all just as scared as he was, it was just his faith in science and logic that somehow glued his feet to the ground. He feared the existence of such a mystical creature more than the creature itself. What would Gou think of him now, he who had laughed at her believes was now hunting the Beast! She would probably laugh, he thought. The sound of her laughter filled his ears, it was such a melodious sound. If he ever found himself in front of It, powerless and at Its mercy, Sousuke would choose this last sound to remember before he died.

 

Her voice worked like magic on his state of mind. His hands stopped shaking as he loaded his rifle.

 

Natsuya, as the good observer he was, gave him a warm smile. “Good. Now follow me. You don't want us to lose the rest of the group.”

 

It wasn't difficult to find them though; everyone had halted in front of the two lines of prints, each one going in as different direction. What shall they do? According to Nao each row had the same age, there was no way to deduct the last path the Beast followed.

 

The Duke proposed a team split. The proposition fail to win unanimous support but was still voted at the majority. In the end they chose Natsuya, Tomas, Sousuke on one side and the Duke, Nao, Rin on the other. Aiichiro was to stay at the prints’ splitting and look for them in a hour if neither of the group give some sign of life. Each of them had a whistle in case of emergency.

 

Sousuke was utterly worried for Rin, but their separation was inevitable. Just like Nao and Natsuya, they couldn't let their friendship getting in the way of the mission. Killing the Beast should be their first thought when they found It, not protecting their dear one.

  
  
  


They all remained silent as they walked. It was almost dark, so dark Sousuke stumbled into a rock or two because he couldn't see where his feet were landing. Unfortunately he wasn’t the only one; a couple of meters further Tomas fell, and hard. His foot hit the roots of a giant pine and he fell in a bush, and a dozen of black crows flew out of it in what Rin would gladly call a bad omen. He broke his torch and sprained his ankle in the fall.

 

“Can you still walk?” Natsuya asked him.

 

“Not very fast I'm afraid but that will do it.” 

 

“We're not leaving you behind in any cases,” the officer told him. “We've gone too far to go back. Can you help him Sousuke? I'll take the lead from now.”

 

With all the racket the fall made and the light from the torches Sousuke concluded that, if there had been a Beast on this side of the woods, It would have attacked them already. That's the only thing that reassured him after Tomas’s fall. Hopefully they would need his strength to fight the Beast. 

  
  


Behind their backs, shining yellow eyes followed their movements in utter silence.

  
  


Natsuya halted when they reached the first crossing. “We said we would turn left at every crossing, is that right?”

 

“Yeah, think so.” Tomas muttered under his teeth.

 

“Are you okay?” Sousuke stopped as well. Tomas’s face was torn in pain.

 

“I think this is more than a simple sprain. Let me look at it.” Sousuke offered.

 

Tomas declined. “It's no use, I know it's not broken. I've known worse but the pain is still vivid. Give me some time and I'll run like a deer in a moment.”

 

“We don't have that much time I'm afraid.” 

 

Natsuya scratched his head, looking for a solution but alas, there seemed to be none but one. If Tomas couldn't walk anymore he must stay behind.

 

“Promise me to whistle if anything happen.” 

 

“Yes officer.”

 

“Here, take my torch.” Sousuke offered, and declined when Tomas handed him his rifle. “I won't need it but keep it just in case.”

 

It's with a heavy heart that both men left their senior behind, hoping no harm would happen to him.

 

“Do you know how to use this?” Natsuya asked as they departed, showing his own rifle. Sousuke shook his head, never had he used such a big weapon - he hated hunting. They agreed on giving him the torch while Natsuya would hold the rifle and shoot if needed.

 

With Sousuke leading the way they advanced slowly but surely. Sousuke took great care of where he walked, his ears catching every sounds of the forest - the wind blowing in between the pines, the crows’ cries, the owls’ hootings, the light steps of small animals like rabbits and squirrels they spotted once or twice. 

 

On their right they heard something moving in the bushes. “Wait,” Natsuya whispered, holding his arm, “Light over there.”

 

Sousuke obliged in a hurry out of fear and almost burned Natsuya’s arm in the process. There was a shadow standing behind the bushes, a large and round shadow and the shadow was breathing heavily. Natsuya aimed, and was ready to shoot when Sousuke stopped him in extremis.

 

“Look,” he showed him the bushes, “It's only wild pigs. This must be their mothers.”

 

Indeed, the wild pigs ran out of the bushes and joined the sow, and as soon as its babies were safe the sow walked away.

 

Natsuya lowered his rifle. “False alarm, but a good test indeed.” He turned to Sousuke. “Next time try not to burn me.”

 

Sousuke replied he'd tried, and they both laughed.

 

But not for long.

 

The striding noise of a whistle came to their ears.

 

“Rin?” Sousuke thought first.

 

“Too close. It must be Tomas.”

 

Sousuke hurried back to the crossing, hoping he wouldn't get lost before finding the gardener, unharmed he hoped. It only took him a minute of run or so to reach the place. Sousuke let out a sigh when he saw Tomas safe and sound.

 

“Thank God you're alright,” he knelt in front of him, “We thought we had abandoned you to your death.”

 

“I'm afraid I'm still only suffering of a sprained ankle and nothing more! I didn't use the whistle, I hope the others are alright.”

 

“The sound was rather close, it can't be the other group. It can only be Aiichiro then. We need to get back.”

 

“By the way, where is the officer?”

 

Sousuke blinked. “Natsuya? Behind-”

 

But there was no one when he turned around.

 

“...Natsuya?” He called him.

 

To his despair, no one replied. The forest remained silent to his pled.

 

“...No...it can't be…he was just behind me...we heard the whistle and then I ran to look for you...he was just next to me when we started running.”

 

“Don't blame yourself for this, it's all my fault. If I hadn't been careless you wouldn't have left me behind...plus, Natsuya is a strong man, he's certainly just lost in the wood without any light.”

 

Tomas’s words eased his mind, at least a little. “I should look for him. Can you stand?”

 

“I could, but I'll only be a burden. If Natsuya is hurt you'll need all your strength to bring him back. Come back here when you find him and we'll go back to the Aiichiro boy altogether.”

 

Sousuke nodded, hoping the others had heard the whistle too and were going back to the young policeman at the moment. There would be one thing less to worry about.

 

“Before you go, take this.” Tomas searched inside his pocket and handed him a flask. “Our finest whiskey. You look like you need some.”

 

Sousuke took three long mouthfuls before giving it back to its owner. “I did.”

 

After saying good luck Tomas and Sousuke parted again. He reached the crossing and took a deep breath. “Natsuya? Can you hear me?” he shouted, but no one answered.

 

He turned right, his torch and eyes glued to the ground, desperate to find a sight of Natsuya taking that path. None footprints could be seen. The shining eyes still followed Sousuke’s steps like a shadow, a couple of meters away.

 

Sousuke came across another crossing and didn't know where to go. He turned left, hoping he would remember where his steps leaded him. He wasn't well known for his good sense of direction. The forest had turned pitch black by now. How much time had they spent in the woods? No more than a hour for sure, but the night fell quickly in November. With only his torch as a source of light Sousuke, undeterred by the danger, hushed the voice in his head begging him to retrace his step and go back to the main path with Tomas; on his honor there was no way he would come off this hell without the officer alongside.

 

He found something, eventually; another print, with the claws facing him. And this one was, without a doubt, fresh. Very fresh.

 

The wind blew behind his back and tickled his hair at the top of his neck. He only noticed now how every noise of the forest had stopped altogether. There was no hooting of owls, nor the usual rustling of leaves; only the sound of his own breathing and a regular soft gust of wind behind his neck. Regular as his own breathing.

 

Sousuke, very slowly turned around, with his torch in front of his head. Behind him a pair of yellow eye stared at him in silence, only a feet away.

 

Sousuke hold his breathe.

 

The wind against his neck came from a wet snout, as big as Sousuke hands. Above he could see the eyes, round and glowing, never blinking. Its skin was covered with grey scales like a snake but Its maw was wide, Its jaw strong, like a big wolf. On top of Its head there were two magnificent white horns. When Sousuke lifted his torch, he noticed they were tinted with something red.

 

‘ _ Blood _ ,’ he thought.

 

The Beast lifted Its head and opened Its mouth, revealing Its two row of teeth, licking with blood and drool. 

 

‘ _ Run, now, run idiot!’ _

 

Sousuke threw his torch at the Beast’s face and ran for his life, where, it didn't matter. ‘ _ As far as your legs take you _ ,’ he thought, before his survival instinct took the lead. He ran into the woods, in between the pines, never looking back. As long as he heard heavy steps behind him he continued to run, until his lungs gave up and he had to halt to catch his breath.

 

He hid behind a large tree trunk. He had no light, only two rifles and a whistle.

 

‘ _ The whistle _ !’

 

Sousuke blew twice and waited. He heard no human sound coming nearer, only the heavy steps slowly getting closer to where he was hidden.

 

That only left the rifles, or his own two legs.

 

‘ _ Come on, have some guts!’ _

 

Sousuke cast a glance behind the trunk briefly. The Beast was an easy target, he thought, rationally. Big as two men, with shining eyes easy to target in the dark, and walking slowly. He couldn't have hoped for a best first try! It was an easy shot. He just had to aim right and blew Its head, and everything would be over.

 

If it was that easy then why he shaking so much as he took one of the rifle into his hand?

 

Thinking about Gou and her laugh didn't give him any courage, on the contrary, it made him want to run away even more. But he knew it wasn't what he was supposed to do. The Beast was now too close not to take a chance, it was maybe their best shot, he couldn't waste it because he was  _ scared _ .

 

Sousuke stood on his quivering legs and faced the shining eyes. They were closer to what he thought they might be, he needed to aim quicker than expected.

 

It was a blessing that he couldn’t see what It looked like somehow. The sight would have paralysed him.

 

With trembling hands Sousuke leveled the rifle to his eyes. He tried to aim in between the eyes. When the Beast was close enough, he pulled the trigger.

 

But nothing happened.

 

‘... _ What _ ?’

 

He pulled again, and again, but no bullet were shot.

 

The Beast got closer, the ground shook with each of Its steps.

 

It breathed on Sousuke face. Its mouth smelled like death.

 

That's when Sousuke remembered he had forgotten to load his second rifle.

 

“Get on the floor!!!”

 

He remembered someone shouted his name after that, and pushed him down. His head hurt the floor and Sousuke lost consciousness for a couple of seconds. 

  
  


When he opened his eyes there was a torch at his feet and a rifle between him and Tomas, which arm was being chew by the Beast’s maw. His scream echoed in the forest, louder than any whistle in the world. Without thinking Sousuke took the rifle at his feet and shot.

 

The Beast let out a cry, as well as Tomas’s arm. He fell on the ground, stunned.

 

He hadn't killed it, not yet. Sousuke shot again but missed, but it seemed it was enough to drive the Beast away for and a moment. Sousuke ran to Tomas and shook his side. He was alive, but his right arm had been hacked apart in pieces. There was blood everywhere, and the wounds were deep and slashing. At some place the bone could be seen. There was no way to save his arm, Sousuke concluded quickly, and before the gangrene reached the flesh the limb absolutely needed to be amputated.

 

If they ever made it to and clinic.

 

Sousuke dropped the rifle and ripped the end of his trousers. He tied it on Tomas’s arm hoping it would make a good tourniquet until they found help. Sousuke took Tomas by the arm, helped him to go on his feet. They dragged themselves out of the Beast’s sight.

 

Sousuke had no idea of where to go. His mad rush had ended his poor sense of direction and even if his eyes had gotten used to the darkness by now, he had no idea of where they were, or where the others were. He was lost, without light, with a dead weight on one of his shoulder, with a mystical creature directly coming from Hell chasing after them.

 

The situation wasn’t particularly good, no matter how he looked at it.

 

With his remaining arm Sousuke used the whistle one last time, hoping that if they couldn't found their way back, someone would find them instead.

 

And, it  _ did _ work, quicker than he thought!

 

The Beast found them soon enough. 

 

Sousuke spotted Its glowing eyes on their right. “No, not again.” He spoke to himself.

 

Tomas winced in pain and opened his eyes at the worst moment of all. “Sousuke, are you alright?”

 

“For now it shall do. But we’re not out of danger yet,” he turned around so that Tomas could see the glowing eyes as well. “Can you stand alone for a bit? I need both of my hand to hold the rifle, otherwise I'm shaking too much to aim.”

 

“No, run, please.”

 

“When this hell is all behind us remember I'll have to find a proper way to thank you for saving my life.”

 

“No please!”

 

Ignoring his plead, Sousuke prepared his rifle to shoot the Beast right between his eyes this time. Despite the darkness he saw where his previous bullet hit It, just behind the shoulder, nevertheless it didn't prevent It from moving toward them. He shot, and this time the bullet flirted with the Beast’s neck. It stopped in Its track.

 

“Now,” Tomas hold his arm, “We need to go while we still can.”

 

Sousuke gladly assented, but they were slow, too slow; they walked as fast as they could but the Beast’s steps never faded away, It was still chasing them.

 

They weren't going to make it, Sousuke realized; or to be more precise, he couldn't make it with Tomas. He had not bullet left to use and with his arm and the pain Tomas couldn't run. They both knew it. Sousuke felt Tomas's hands on his shoulder and he dread what he was about to say. Deep down, he didn't want to leave him there to save his life, because it wasn't the kind of man he wanted to be but now his guts knew fear, his eyes had looked into the Beast’s, and they remembered. If Tomas offered to save his life once more he would take the chance again, and he would hate himself for this until the day he died.

 

Somehow it seemed someone heard the turmoil in his heart. “Gentlemen, this way!” a voice said.

 

Sousuke didn't trust his ears at first.

 

“Sousuke, this way!!!”

 

It was Rin’s voice who took him out of his torpor again. The four of them were waving their torches at them a couple of feet away. To his greatest relief, Nao was holding the officer by the waist, and the Duke had his lady aimed, prepared to finish the Beast off.

 

_ “No…” _

 

Sousuke thought someone spoke to him, but he couldn't identify who. From the weight of his body Tomas had lost consciousness again.

 

When he reached the rest of the group the young policeman helped him lay Tomas on the ground, and the next moment Rin took him in his arms. “God! I'm so happy you're alright.”

 

Sousuke didn't know what to reply. He couldn't think straight while the Beast was still breathing.

 

Still in Rin’s embrace his eyes fixed the tip of the Duke’s rifle. He was quite a man, he caught himself thinking. He had never liked him because of jealousy but, objectively, he was good-looking and imposing, his shoulders were strong and his eyes determined. He didn't look like a man who would abandon a comrade behind.

 

“It's here, look!” he heard someone say. He didn't care who. He couldn't see the yellow eyes, didn't want to see them anymore. Every time he’d close his eyes, they would be here, from now on and for the rest of his life. 

 

“Stay behind me.” The Duke commanded.

 

Rin was crushing his hand out of fear. Sousuke imagined him crying, but perhaps he wasn't, perhaps he was like him when he first faced the Beast, too shocked to do anything. 

 

He heard him shouting when the Duke went forward to meet the Beast. He shot very shortly after that. The Beast made a monstrous cry, and then they all heard a heavy sound as if It had fallen. They couldn't see the yellow eyes anymore.

 

“...I think I...got it.” The Duke breathed.

 

Everyone was breathless. Time had stopped for a second, when they waited for the Beast to prove them wrong and go back on Its feet. But that moment never came.

 

“We need to go back and hurry.” Nao broke the silence. “This man needs urgent care and Natsuya is hurt as well.”

 

“But-”

 

“There's no but,” the officer cut the Duke, “with a rifle like yours no matter where your bullet ended, the Beast is either dead on spot or deadly wounded. We’ll go back to look for Its carcass when we'll have recover from this adventure. And we need to go now if we want everyone to come back alive.”

 

Despite Sousuke’s tourniquet, Tomas’s arm was still bleeding abundantly and he was getting palier by each minute. Time was their new enemy.

  
  


***

  
  


“What happened?” 

 

It was past midnight when they rode back to Aberdeen Hall with Rin. Tomas and the others had stayed in Edlington, Sousuke wanted to remain with the gardener as well but Rin reminded him that someone had to tell his family, and he was too scared to ride back to Aberdeen alone in the depth of the night. 

 

“I don't know.” Sousuke replied. “I don't fucking know. I still can't believe it happened.”

 

“Well, Tomas’s arm is a proof that it  _ did _ .”

 

For once Rin made the logical deduction. “Honestly Rin I...it was a nightmare. I couldn't see anything, I lost Tomas, then I lost the officer. Then I found myself nose to nose with It and...I would have died without him.”

 

Rin was avoiding his gaze, and held his reins strongly. “We didn't find any print on our side, so we went back as soon as we heard the first whistle. We found Natsuya unconscious, he said something hit his head from above, and there was a huge branch next to his body. What a coincidence, isn't it?”

 

Sousuke didn't believe in coincidence, but refused to think about it for now. Right now all that mattered was that they were alive.

 

“How am I going to tell them?” Rin thought aloud. 

 

Sousuke didn't have an answer to propose. In his short experience, there wasn't a good way to deliver such a terrible news, just a couple of bad ones to avoid.

 

Rin went alone to Georgina's door. Sousuke couldn't pass the main gate, he emptied his stomach behind the camellias and sat next to the black wall, his eyes facing the lake.

 

There was light coming from Goro’s hut, even this late. Sousuke would tell him tomorrow, tonight he needed to rest.

  
  


  
  


Rin knocked on his door, once only. Haru was already at the door.

 

He remembered he told him he had an light sleep.

 

“I told you it was-”

 

Rin hushed him with a kiss. “Can I stay with you tonight?” he murmured.

 

Before Haru could answer Rin was already inside. Haru closed the door behind them, and hold Rin close to his chest until he stopped trembling and fell asleep. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having an internal debate about the warning at the beginning of each chapter. DO you mind them? Find them necessary? I think it's important that I put the warning for each chapters but maybe some of you don't want to read them to have a better reading experience? Well, apart from this chapter things are getting nasty sooo...  
> Anyway I don't think I'll have time to post anything else before Xmas and 2018 so I hope everyone will have great holidays and will be spoiled for Xmas :) see you next year !


	8. VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o/ Hello. Yes it's been a while. But I've been busy with a lot of things - Two Xmas fics gifts and work...and writer block too? Icarus Fall kinda broke me haha.  
> Anyway this chapter is for Eos and Mezzo and I'll hope you'll like it.

* * *

# Chapitre 8

.

 

There were some memories Rin had buried deep in his subconscious and had vowed to himself and to God never to remember again; there were the reason he had sworn that he would never come back to Aberdeen Hall again. _Never._

 

Unlike his others dreams this time Rin was wandering the in gardens with his adult's body. And yet as he lifted his head the Nanases’ tower was unharmed of any fire, that's how he figured out he was reliving one of his childhood memories. Gou was playing hide and seek with them, she was counting to thirty with her face against the wall and her hands covering her eyes. Rin smiled, he wanted to count with her but when she unveiled her eyes she gazed right through him and passed by him as if he wasn't even there. She ran in the green maze, so sure that she would find them here. Rin’s smile disappeared from his face when he realized which memories it was. Gou had never found them that day. That day, they had gone to the lake,  _ under _ the lake, to be more precise.

 

Rin rushed under the sakura tree. He saw the bubbles coming out to the surface of the lake. His young self resurfaced first, gasping for hair. “Thirty!” They both said. All he could see from Haru was his hair and eyes and the tip of his nose. He was breathing calmly, observing him. Rin had never noticed before how he used to look at him, when he was young and careless things like these weren't important. If only he had paid more attention, maybe things wouldn't have turned out so badly.

 

They heard someone walking in the peddled alley. Young Rin gasped. “Someone is coming!” he whispered, and both kids disappeared under the surface again.

 

Rin observed from his spot; it was his mother, she was looking for Gou. She called her daughter’s name until a voice from the green maze alerted her. She was lost it seemed. Rin would have looked for her more than willingly but she couldn't see him. Instead, their mother sought for help.

 

When his aunt followed his mother’s steps Rin’s blood froze in his veins. He remembered, perfectly, how she was dressed that day. A simple blue dress with white laces around the collar and the sleeves, fitted just under her breasts, a strict high bun with chosen brands of hair falling around her face. She was smiling when she followed his mother to the maze, with her sunshade protecting her from the sunrays. 

 

Rin turned around at the sound of his young self resurfacing again. “Are they gone?” He asked Haru.

 

“Think so.”

 

They looked at each other then smiled, and laughed. “No one will find us there.” Young Rin joked.

 

“I hope they won't.” Haru replied.

 

It was particularly hot that day, Rin remembered. They had stayed hours in the lake enjoying its coolness, swimming and hiding under the water as soon as they heard footsteps coming their ways. By the middle of the afternoon the whole manor had been turned upside down in a vain attempt to find them. Gou was crying so much, it was a cruel prank, Rin realized now. Kids were cruel.

 

When young Rin got tired of hiding he got out of the lake and sat behind the sakura tree. Haru followed him promptly and sat next to him. They watched the reflection of the sun on the still water together silently while the adults were desperately looking for them. 

 

“Sometimes I wish you could be there more often.” Haru said.

 

“Yes! I wish I could come in Spring too. I wish I could see the Sakura blossoms. I can only imagine how pretty it is.”

 

Rin approached his young self slowly, he wanted to warm him, to warm them. Not now, he wanted to say, but he knew his voice wouldn't reach them. They were part of his past, and the past couldn't be rewritten.

 

“I like red better, vibrant red...” Haru grabbed a brand of Rin’s hair between his fingers. “Your eyes are like the camellias that blooms in winter when it's snowing. There are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.”

 

Rin felt tears forming at the corner on his eyes. His young self was blushing furiously, looking away but Haru grabbed his chin and forced him to meet his gaze.

 

“Even in Spring, even when this tree is blooming majestically, it is no match to you. Nothing never will.”

 

His touch was firm but warm. His hands travelled up to cup his cheek, he leaned closer and closer until their noses brushed past each other. The three of them were holding their breaths. Timidly, young Rin’s hand touched Haru’s own, and the teens closed their eyes. Rin couldn't look away as their lips touched for the first time. He had forgotten how it had felt after all these years and hours of prayers. Even at twelve, even so young, from the start it had felt nothing but good. Haru brought him joy and a warmth feeling only his presence could give him, spreading from where they touched to his lung, his belly, his head, his heart, and even as a grown up he could still feel it inside his bones. Yet Rin cried. Because he knew that bliss never last.

 

Because they were found at the worst possible time.

 

“No... _No!”_

 

Aunt Kaori had always had an impossible sense of timing. She separated them and slapped them both in the face. 

 

“You... _ monster _ _!_ How dare you? How dare you do that to my little boy!” she had yelled at him.

 

 

‘ _ You monster…’ _

 

 

Rin caressed his cheek when he woke up, with Haru sleeping next to him, his arms around his waist. His aunt wasn't there anymore, but her words had lived and grown inside him for years. No wonder why his mother forbid them to go back to Aberdeen Hall after that incident.

 

‘ _ Am I a monster to you _ ?’ He wondered. His hand gently cupped Haru’s cheek and he dropped a soft kiss on his parted lips. Haru opened his eyes and hugged Rin closer. 

 

“Morning.” He murmured.

 

Rin returned the hug and rest his chin on Haru’s head. “Morning.” he said, not finding the courage to say something else yet.

 

* * *

 

Mrs Tachibana and her daughter had cried all night and were still crying in the morning. Sousuke met them as he was going downstairs for breakfast and found out nothing had been prepared yet.

 

He went in the kitchens. “We don't have any bread or milk left,” the cook told him. “I've been away for a couple of days and I have forgotten to watch for our stock. Makoto and Ren were kind enough to buy more supplies but they went to Treston yesterday and aren't home yet.” It took Sousuke a while to realize Nagisa was actually kneading dough. “If you're not busy you could lend me a hand. Have you ever milk a cow before?”

 

It happened Sousuke had, in his childhood. Nagisa lead him to a place he hadn't seen before, behind the kitchen and just next to the gardens. It was an old hen house reorganised, with a few cows, pigs, a vegetable patch and some herbs. Sousuke took an empty bucket and a stool, and sat in front of the first cow. He came back a couple of minutes later with milk.

 

“Took your time!” Nagisa welcomed him with a cup of tea he gladly accepted. Sousuke was rather happy with what he had managed to milk though, last time he had done something like that could be counted in decades.

 

As soon as he finished his cup of tea someone rang at the door. Ran came to them soon after, her eyes still redden by her sadness. “It's...it's a po-po-police man from Edling-ling-ling-”

 

Sousuke ran to the front door, hoping that the policeman hadn't brought with him bad news about Tomas, considering how the poor Ran was shaking. Nitori had just dismounted when Sousuke reached him. He saluted him.

 

“How is he doing?” Sousuke demanded. 

 

Nitori dropped his gaze, hinting the worst case scenario. “He's alive, for now. His arms...he refused the amputation. The doctor stitched him as best as he could but he's really pessimistic about the evolution. But there's something else.”

 

He told him about the weird liquid dropping from the wound, a mix of yellow, orange and green color the doctor had never seen before. Considering it was the Beast’s doing, he suggested that Tomas see a priest quickly.

 

“Since Father Ryuugazaki is still within your walls, and thanks to your friend insistence...we agreed to repatriate Mister Tachibana to Aberdeen Hall. I was sent to inform you about this event, before the carriage arrives. I also have some files Officer Kirishima wanted you to have. These ones are for you,” he gave Sousuke a first package, “And these are for Sir Matsuoka.”

 

Sousuke blinked as he received a thinner blue file, different from the one he had seen at the police office - the color and the size weren't the same, the reports seemed way older. “Thank you, I'll give it to him as soon as he’s up. How is the officer?”

 

“Fine, as usual.” Nitori replied. “He’s strong, maybe he's overdoing it, that's what we all think at least, but he stubbornly refuses to admit it. He's currently leading the search in the woods, can you believe it?”

 

The policeman left as soon as his mission was completed, refusing politely the cup of tea Mrs Tachibana offered him. The carriage bringing her husband arrived an hour later and they took him to his bedroom immediately. Sousuke noticed from the start that his skin had turned greyish, a very bad sign of infection. His pulse was high and his eyes redden, his hand was sweating when his wife took it in hers. 

 

  
  


“Be honest, what do you think of his arms?” Father Ryuugazaki asked him. They had little time to decide what to do next, but his family needed to spent time with him in case...the situation worsened quicker than they thought.

 

“Doctor Stew did a wonderful work with the stitches but unfortunately the infection is too deep.” Sousuke even saw that one of his finger had turned blue. His arm was dead, there was no other way to put it into words. “If we don't do something quickly, he'll die.”

 

“We can't let it happened!” Rin bit his lips. “It's our fault if he ended up wounded like this.”

 

No, it was  _ his _ fault, and his alone, Sousuke thought, but they didn't have the luxury to waste time over small details like these. “On his report the doctor states he would have gone with a cut above the elbow if the patient had agreed...he even left a trace. If we can bring him to reason…”

 

“Do you think you can do it?” Rin asked him. “Do you really feel capable of cutting his arm off?”

 

In his youth Sousuke had already done the procedure on corpses, so technically he knew how, but doing it on a breathing human...Someone he esteemed on top of that, someone who had saved his life and got injured because of him, would he really be able to go through the amputation without stopping when he'd hear him scream in pain as the knife would cut his flesh?

 

“I think we'll have all the equipments you need, if necessary.” Haru informed them.

 

“Good, that's one last thing to worry about.”

 

Mrs Tachibana got out of the room in tears. She went to Haruka and fell at his feet. 

 

“Please...please make him change his mind...he'll listen to you I know...he'll do anything for you Haruka so please...so that he'll live a little longer...”

 

Haruka caressed to top of her hair. “I'll do my best.”

 

“I’ll go with you.” Sousuke said.

 

“Me too. I need to see the wound to see if any evil forces are still active inside his body.” 

 

Haru watched Father Ryuugazaki severely, then Mrs Tachibana. “Is it okay with you?”

 

She nodded, and let the three of them inside.

 

Ran was brushing his forehead with a cloth of cold water. Tomas was half asleep but after they called his name, he opened his eyes and sent them a dark glance.

 

“All of you...here for me...I already said I refuse to let you cut my arm.” He muttered.

 

“Tomas, there is unfortunately no other way.” Sousuke tried to convince him.

 

“If you cut my arm I can no longer work. I'll be a waste, and a dishonor for my family.” 

 

“You made a promise, a long time ago. You promised you'd look after me after my father died, didn't you?”

 

Haruka was standing at the very end of the room with his back resting against the wall. His voice wasn't loud or high. He spoke as he always did, calmly, no matter how heavy the words he spoke were. Sousuke thought he saw fear in Tomas’s gaze when he looked back at his master.

 

“How do you know?” He breathed.

 

“I've heard you. Does it matter? Your words approved my claim. How could you look after me if you're dead?”

 

“How can I with a missing arm?” Tomas retorted.

 

“Your arm is already lost. You'll never be a gardener again, but you could teach Makoto. He's a quick learner and has always liked the gardens. I'll find you a more suitable occupation in the manor if you need any but right now, as your master I'm ordering you to stay alive, and to get your arm amputated.”

 

And it did sound like an order. After he spoke Haru left the room without looking back, leaving behind him and a very stunned gardener and a powerless Sousuke. What could they say after that?

 

“Look,” Sousuke tried to rationalise the situation, “If we don't-”

 

“When can you do it?”

 

Tomas’s eyes were glued to the ceiling, he refused to meet any gaze, not even his daughter’s. When they got out his wife was crushing Haruka in her arms, thanking him through her tears while her master clumsily stroke her back. “That was the least I could do.” He told her softly.

 

Haruka acted like a lovely master, Sousuke noticed. He had also noticed the way Tomas had looked at him a minute ago. They had hunted the Beast together and he hadn't been that frightened while facing the monster. Why was he so afraid of his master? Did Haruka know something they didn't? Whatever it was, there were still secrets lingering in Aberdeen Hall - starting with the one which made them stay in first place : Toraichi Matsuoka’s ghost.

 

“Where are we going to make the surgery?” Sousuke asked, mostly to himself, and using ‘we’ mostly to reassure himself. It was like being in the forest again, chasing the Beast’s prints in the mud, he knew what was going ahead but refused to see it until he’d stand in front of Tomas’s lying body with a knife in his hand.

 

“There is hardly any suitable place I can think of in the hall. Why don't we get back to Edlington?” Rin proposed.

 

“We don't have time, his arm is already rotten we have to cut it quickly.”

 

“We can use the kitchen,” Haruka proposed. “We’ll put a clean sheet over the table and all the knives I possess.”

 

Rin smiled uneasily. “This is hardly an excuse for an operation room.”

 

“There's a French surgeon serving under Napoleon who would amputate a limb in less than a minute, in the middle of the battlefield.” Sousuke told them. “Dominique Larrey, that was his name. If he did it in the mud surrounded by enemies, we can do it on a clean kitchen table.”

 

Father Ryuugazaki left Tomas’s room at this moment, his hand covering his nose. “There is only one thing I am certain at this point. Evil or not, this wound smells of death.”

 

It was decided that, as soon as the instruments were ready the surgery would take place in the kitchens. And after they honored Tomas’s last request. 

 

“I'll help you.” Haruka offered. “I'll stay with you during the procedure.”

 

“Thank you,” Sousuke would have hugged him right now if Rin hadn't been there. He didn't want to be alone in there. The time spent with Haruka cutting dead meat would finally prove itself useful. He wished it hadn't though. 

 

“I...I...I don't think I could.” Rin said, his eyes lowering to the ground. “I wish I could.”

 

Sousuke gave him a sad look. “But Rin, how am I supposed to succeed if you don't cheer for me?”

 

Rin rolled his eyes. They all smiled.

 

“You won't be useful in there, but you can work in the manor and take care of Ama.” Haruka told him. “While we'll be busy I declare you master of Aberdeen’s Hall in my absence. The Hall is yours.”

 

Rin wouldn't have dreamed of a better opportunity to have another talk with the maid.   
  
  


* * *

Ama had kept the bed since her awakening but had felt better hour by hour. She sat against the wall as she wrote frenetically in her diary when Rin knocked at her door.

 

“Coming.” She recognized the way Rin knocked. She had always had a good memories, and what she didn't remembered was written in her diaries. 

 

No one had told her about the hunt, or about Tomas, they didn't want to hurt her before she had completely recovered. She dropped her diary when Rin told her for his arm.

 

“It's a miracle he's still alive.” Rin said. 

 

Ama’s air was caught in her throat. “To think you faced such a devilish creature...it's a miracle only Tomas had been hurt. I'm a so relieve that you are unharmed, my boy.”

 

“Actually I didn't really see It. It was just Its shadow, and Its glowing yellow eyes we saw. Tomas and Sousuke fought the Beast and saw Its face, not me, nor the rest of us.”

 

Ama leaned against the wall, her mind deep in thoughts. “I guess this is something we had in common now...the night of the attack ten years ago I was sound asleep. I heard a terrible cry, and woke up alone. Soon the scent of smoke and ashes took me out of my bed. Goro and Tomas were already up, Goro was carrying poor Haruka in his arms, his hair and face full of blood. They told me to take everyone outside by the lake. What a horrible night...I still have nightmares, sometimes, I woke up with the scent of ashes lingering in my room,” she held her belly as she remembered the past. “I'm glad everything is over.”

 

Rin took her hands in his. “We all are.”

 

“You know, for years I thought it was the Beast’s cry that woke me up that night, as it got burnt by the fire.” Ama went on. “But I'm not so sure now. I think it was Goro’s desperate cry when he found the bodies. Sometimes humans behave like animals when they face inhuman situations.”

 

The image of his friend hanged over his door popped into Rin’s mind. Sure, humans could be as cruel as animals, he knew that way too much.

 

“Excuse me my sweet boy, but I need to see Tomas.” She demanded. “I need to see him right now. We're very old friends, and after all we've been through together-”

 

“He has asked to see you as well, before they...cut his arm.” Rin informed her. “Once everything is ready I'll bring you to his room. But before that I still have some questions to ask you.”

 

Rin had always been a nice child, and he had kept on being nice and good through his teen years and young adulthood. But when he wanted something there was no way to stop him. Ama responded to his serious tone by a fake smile.

 

“Of course my dear. What is it that you want to know?”

 

“It's about my father.”

 

Ama took her hands away from his grip. “I’ve already told you everything I could last time you asked. I wished I had seen differently, but it was his ghost I saw, I swear.”

 

“I know, and I believe you, no matter what my friend Sousuke thinks.” He saw her traits soften as he spoke. “It's something else I want to ask.”

 

Ama straightened her back against the wall. “And what would that be?”

 

“Did he come back here, around the Nanases’s murder? Before or after, it does not matter.”

 

“He didn't.” she told him.

 

“Are you sure?” Rin thought she had answered a little bit too quickly for such an old thing. “Are you really sure?”

 

“Rin I would have remember seeing your father,” she replied harshly, “but the last I saw him was the day you left Aberdeen Hall in a hurry, ten summer from now. That's the only truth you'll get from me.”

 

“Then how did you know about the red uniform?” Rin raised his voice and Ama grasped her bed sheets tighter. “He had never worn any! Not before his death, and you saw it!”

 

“I don't know, I just saw it, and I can't explain why! Isn't it simply a proof that it was really his ghost and not something directly out of my imagination?”

 

She had made a point and they both knew it. If she refused to admit his father had been there before going back to London to rejoin with the Army then he couldn't forced her to, merely if she had, in fact, never seen him.

 

“Is that all you wanted to ask?” she said bitterly. 

 

“It is, for now.” Rin replied. He got up and walked hastily to the exit. “I'll get you to Tomas when he's ready to see you.” And slammed the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

He had read that page for the hundredth time at least. Sousuke got tired of it, he knew how to cut a limb, he had done it before, and reading how to do so wouldn't make it easier or more enjoyable. The Nanase had an impressive collection of books from all around the world and it's pleasantly surprised that Sousuke had taken the book Haruka had found for him. 

 

“I knew the name sounded familiar when you spoke about him.”

 

It was Dominique Larrey’s book, the one where he explained how he became the most famous surgeon of his century. “I had time to read all the books my father owned, some even twice. This one isn't particularly easy to read but it's instructive.”

 

“It's a treasure. Thank you Haruka.”

 

“You can call me Haru.”

 

Sousuke felt honored, almost happy about that. Still, the satisfaction wore out quickly when he opened the book and studied the anatomy of the arm. When he got tired of it, he decided to distract himself until the kitchen and the tools were sterilized and ready to be used with the files Natsuya forwarded him. There were all the incidents that had occurred in the manor.

 

He was alone in the smoking room. He lightened the last of the Duke’s cigars, inhaled deeply the smoke and breathed out slowly. It calmed his nerves splendidly, everything he needed before moving on to something else. He browsed the cases and their titles roughly, none really caught his attention until he remembered one of the story the cook told him. The case concerned a young cook who had died of hemoptysis shortly after his arrival. Kaori Matsuoka - she was still wearing her birth name at that time - aged of fifteen had been charged with sorcery by the mother’s victim but they concluded on a rare form of tuberculosis, as Nagisa told him. The mother, a nurse, hadn't been happy with the verdict, claiming that her boy already had suffered from this disease when he was a child but since no one could prove her point, she had been declared crazy and locked away in Saint James' Clinic.

 

Saint James' Clinic...he had never heard of this clinic before.

 

Sousuke looked at the picture provided with the file. It was without a doubt Haru’s mother - it was like staring at the man’s face, they did really look alike. It wasn't much about physical feature, it was in the eyes, it was in the way they stared.

 

He didn't know why but this case didn't sound right to him. Tuberculosis very rarely killed within the day, neither did sorcery since it did not exist, but Sousuke could think of a couple of things who could.

 

For example, poison, woman’s favorite way of murder.  

 

“We are ready.”

 

Sousuke jumped and dropped the picture he was holding, hoping Haru hadn't seen it. Once again Haruka had surprised him, how could he walk so silently?

 

“Nagisa found creosote in the depth of our cave.” Haruka said as he escorted him to the kitchen. When he opened the door all his knives were displayed on the table. “You said using some will prevent new infections?”

 

“There's another surgeon who used to teach my mentor in Glasgow University, Joseph Lister, he used carbolic acid to wash his tools before his surgeries. It is said to work, yet I have never experimented such a thing myself.” Sousuke confessed. “Creosote is the closest thing we have from carbolic acid.”

 

“We’ll do with what we have. We were really lucky to have you until now.”

 

Sousuke wasn't sure Tomas would share his point of view.

  
  


* * *

 

Someone knocked on the door. His mouth was so dried that he couldn't speak a word to let them come in. Rin opened the door with his shoulder, Ama in his arms. She was still too weak to properly walk on her legs and climbed down the stairs.

 

“Tomas.” She whispered.

 

Despite his condition he smiled at her. The Tachibanas were always smiling, no matter the difficulties they had to face. “I'm glad you feel better.” He told her.

 

He could see in her eyes that, if she had could, she would have slapped him in the face. 

 

Rin delicately put Ama on a chair before leaving them alone as they had both asked. He would come back in twenty minutes.

 

“How are you doing?” She demanded first. 

 

“Not extraordinary I'm afraid. My arm feels like it's being crushed by an elephant and bite by a snake everywhere at the same time. I can't imagine what Goro had felt when his skull got crushed.”

 

“And Goro, have you seen him lately? He didn't even visit me...it's been twenty days already.”

 

“You know he doesn't like being seen.” Tomas reassured her. “Plus I'm sure he still cares a lot about you but doesn't want to show it.”

 

“Is he alright?” she asked. 

 

Tomas smiled bitterly. “You sound more anxious about Goro than about me, that's not fair.”

 

Ama dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry Tomas. But...with you in that state...I'm afraid. I am really scared. You see...I've been feeling a lot better recently, but I refused to leave my bed.”

 

“Scared? Of what?” Tomas asked, anxious.

 

Ama crossed her legs, holding her own wrist tightly. “I couldn't sleep at night, I refused to. That's why I've been so sleepy during the day. What if he comes back to take me with him?”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Toraichi, of course!” she muttered. “His ghost is back for us!”

 

“Ama, you are still suffering from the fright you endure it seems, you are saying nonsense.”

 

“But there is no other explanation. Do you know what he told me? Back at the broken corridor leading to the Nanases’ chamber?” She leaned to his ears to whispered her words as if they were sacred, or worse, cursed. “‘ _ Three can keep a secret if two are dead’, _ he said. Isn't that a warning? Isn't that a promise of murder?”

 

Tomas winced as pain flashed through his arm and Ama got quiet. The maid tired to catch his gaze but Tomas kept his eyes shut from the world. “That's why I'm so scared for Goro...and for me,” she spoke quietly. “The Beast tried to kill you, and I haven't seen Goro in weeks. What if he's the next one? Or me? What if It comes back for you?”

 

“You don't have to worry about Goro for now. He helped me yesterday night and last time I saw him he was in a pretty good shape, better than mine.”

 

Ama chucked. “That's hardly an achievement.”

 

“That means he's alive, and that's all that matters, isn't it?”

 

Ama had to agreed, and the tension between the two old friends disappeared from there. Ama touched his injured arm and prayed with him, holding her pendant close to her chest.  


 

Rin came just after the prayers were finished - he had waited, she guessed.

 

When she left Tomas knew his time was coming. His wife gave him a sleeping beverage along with strong painkillers and the last thing he remembered was the sight of Yamazaki Sousuke with a butcher knife in his hand.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Rin had gone as far as he could from the kitchen. Tomas’s scream were the worst sound he had ever heard in his whole life and he would have done without more than wholeheartedly but things were as they were, and the Beast existed and It had been killed. What they didn't know still was what happened to his father, which was what they wanted to find out in first place.

 

Despite the achievement, Rin felt utterly frustrated. The more he thought about it the more he faced a wall; and the more he hit it, the more his fists got hurt. His fists, his heart...yet he refused to let the ghost of his father hunt him for the rest of his life. He would go through the bottom of this as soon as Sousuke finished the surgery.

 

In the smoking room there was a photograph he liked a lot. Rin remembered they used to watch it with his father as he told him when it had been taken and why, and who were the people with him that day. There was Haru’s father and his, smiling in their sanded uniform from the British Army, along with Goro and Russell Robinson, who he had only seen once during a summer holidays. The cliché had been taken in India just after their first mission. The four of them had been friends from the start.

 

Next to it was another photograph, the first one of baby Haru along with his parents, and then photographs of his early years. The rest of the manor was full of portrait of the old masters of the manor - all members of the Matsuoka family. The smoking room was the only place where he could still see his father. What happened to him? He was so handsome, so smiling, everybody used to love him! Why did someone shot a bullet in his skull, as Ama saw when she faced his ghost?

 

Rin had finished his fifth cup of tea when Haru finally joined him. “It's done.” He told him. There was still blood on his face and arms. “It went as well as we could have imagine.”

 

“How is Sousuke?” Rin was utterly worried about his friend’s state.

 

Haru walked beside Rin, “Puking in the garden.” he simply told him, which did not surprise Rin at all.  He took a tissue to clean the rest of blood out of his cheeks. Haru kissed him when he was done.

 

“Not here,” Rin murmured, “Not where anyone could see.”

 

“But you seem sad.”

 

Rin looked away, avoiding Haru’s hand that wanted to cup his cheek. His eyes fell on his father’s smiling face. 

 

“Tell me what's troubling your mind.” Haru urged him.

 

This was when Rin decided to tell him everything. At first he had thought that talking about his father would make resurfaced painful memories of the night when Haru’s parents were murdered, but with the Beast gone justice had been made. He told him about his recent conversation with Ama and about the red uniform. 

 

“It's probably stupid but I can't help thinking about it. You may think I'm obsessed with this but I'm sure my father went here before going to London to join with his unit. It could have been before or after your parents were murdered-”

 

“After.” 

 

Rin made a pause, his eyes went from the photographs to Haru’s face. 

 

“It was after.” Haru repeated.  


 

When Rin didn't make a sound or a move - at some point he might have stopped breathing altogether - Haru pulled on his shoulder. “Are you alright?”

 

“What have you just said?” 

 

Rin couldn't believe his ears. The information they have been searching for so long had been under his nose from the beginning. They had never asked Haru about anything because they thought he was too young and too traumatised to remember anything, how foolish of them!

 

“You saw my father after your parents were murdered?”

 

Haru nodded calmly while Rin was fuming. “He came one day, in the middle of the night. I was so happy because I thought you would have been with him now that mother was gone, but you weren't and it made me really sad. I sought for him the day after but I never saw him again,” Haru went on. “When I asked the household they told me that no one had seen your father or prepare his bedroom.”

 

Rin was speechless. The truth he had been waiting for so long was finally there, out reach and yet....there was still so maybe things to find out!

 

“I didn't hear him leave but he could have when I was asleep.” Haru clarified. “He was with Goro when he went to the second floor, must have found him in the gardens or gone to his hut as soon as he arrived in the Hall.”

 

“Are you sure about that? It was ten years ago, you could mess up your memories.”

 

Haru shook his head. “I thought you were with your father, so I was very excited. I even spied on them when they were in my parents’ bedroom, until they caught me, then I ran back to my bedroom.”

 

“Did you remember what they were talking about?” Rin asked. He could feel his heart beating in his ears and his head spinning.

 

“Mostly about my parents, and what happened that night. They were talking about a letter.” Haru bit his lips. “I think your father was angry but I couldn't see his face from where I was.”

 

“Wait,” Rin frowned, remembering how the second floor was at that time. “Where were you exactly? You said they went to the second floor where the fire took place but you said you spied and then ran to your bedroom, but the corridor was already damage. How did you run back to your room unharmed?”

 

Haru frowned as well. “I never told you about the secret passage?”

  
  
  


There was, indeed, a way to go from Haru’s bedroom to his parents’ without taking the corridor. Haru told him it had been as old as the manor itself, made by the master of the manor to permit adultery without being caught - and there was the same system in the first floor as well. The trick was to pull on two books of the bookcase against the wall to hear a small ‘click’, and then to push the bookcase to reveal the passage. It was pitch black inside, so Haru hold Rin’s hand as they walked through. “We're almost here, don't worry.” He reassured him. 

 

They stopped in front of what seemed to be a woolen wall - Haru insisted it was a door but Rin still wasn't sure. “There’s a little handle on this side. You just have to push it down to open the way.”

 

Rin squeezed his eyes when light hit them as they got out. They emerged from another bookcase, how original. Soon, Rin realized where they were.

 

“It's not your parents’ room.”

 

Haru closed the passage behind him. “Indeed, it was your parents.”

 

The place hadn't been touched in ten years. The furniture, the paintings were at the same place. There was even his aunt’s violin on the wall facing the king size bed - it used to be her room when his father and her were just children.

 

Haru went to the door. “From here you can see what happens in the next room if the door is open. That's where I heard everything.”

 

Rin was more busy with the furniture. He opened a cupboard, it was still full of clothes and dust, mostly his father’s, things he wore when he was a teen he guessed. He froze when he saw a red uniform hanging with the rest of his civilian clothes. Could he have worn this before he was sent to India? That seemed plausible.

 

Overall the room was covered with dust and smelt musty but the memories were still vivid. There were so many photographs of his father and aunt when they were children, of his father with his friends, a painting of his grandparents and even a picture of his mother and Gou sitting in front of the main gate.

 

The last one was the straw that broke the camel’s back. There were the four of them, together. Gou was so small in their father’s arms, she might have been only 2 or 3 years old. Rin recognized his young self, smiling wildly. He remembered how his cheeks had hurt after they took the photographs, he had had to keep his smiling face for minutes without flinching...he took the photographs in his shaking hands so lightly, as if it was a treasure so old it could collapse and disappear at any time.

 

“What's this place?” Haru was looking over his shoulder. “It was not taken in Aberdeen.”

 

“It's not, it was in London when we first move in. See that window here?” He pointed at the one behind his father. “That's my bedroom. I haven't been there in years. My mother is still living there, alone...I never knew they had kept this photograph with them.” 

 

Haru ran his fingers in Rin’s cheek, stopping the tears from dropping on the photograph. He hadn’t noticed he’d been crying silently while watching over the past. “I missed them. My young years, I miss them so much.” He sobbed. “Nothing had been the same after that summer. Nothing.”

 

Haru made him sit on the bed and curled his arm around his waist. “I know. It had changed everything for both of us.”

 

“If only...Haru I’ve dream about the day we kissed, under the sakura tree. If only things had gone differently…”

 

“Do you regret it?” Haru asked him. Rin didn’t know what to answer.

 

“I’d loved that kiss more than you can imagine, but with my adult’s eyes...we were too young to know what we were doing. And now I know.”

 

Rin grasped the rosary he always wore around his neck while Haru sent it a dark glare. “What do you know, Rin?” 

 

“I know it was wrong.” He confessed. 

 

He had earned the slap had received from his aunt. He had earned her insults, her hate for having tainted her pure boy.

 

Haru leaned to him, his lips brushing past his skull, his earlobe, his chin. He kissed the skin just behind Rin’s ear, sending him shivers. He kissed his way to Rin’s mouth slowly, dropped dry kisses on his cheek. “And right now, do you still find it wrong?” he challenged him.

 

Rin remembered the day they had met. Blue eyes warm like the summer sky, shyly watching him from behind the bushes, too afraid to look for long and dropping his gaze the second Rin would look at him. It had been how they had worked for some time. But there was no trace of that Haru, right now, in front of him. Blue eyes darken with desire, strongly holding his gaze, never looking away from him. Many things had changed over time.

 

Rin took Haru’s lips, kissing them gently. “I still do,” he confessed, and before he could see the disappointed look he guessed Haru would wear on his face, he kissed him again with his full mouth, hungry for more than chaste kisses this time. “But it doesn't mean I don't like it. It doesn't mean I don't want it.” He said when he broke the kiss.

 

Haru’s arms curled around his shoulders. “No one will ever find us here.” He murmured in his ears, his breath hot on his skin. “We're all alone, hidden from the outside world. No one will ever see us.”

 

He leaned in to kiss Rin again on his lips, and his arm travelled under his singlet. His fingernails brushed against his stomach and torso, stopping on Rin’s breasts where his fingers found his nipples. Taken by surprised, Rin gasped and Haru took that opportunity to run his tongue inside his mouth. Haru continued to take advantage of the situation and pushed Rin on the bed, lying on top of him; his lips went from his lips to the crook of his neck where he hungrily ate his skin.

 

Rin was breathless. Never in his dreams he had been in such a situation, with Haru all of the people. Never he had thought Haru would have the same need, the same passion, the same want, the same urge dawning between his legs. For an instant his mind went blank, lulled by Haru’s warmth and the bliss of feeling  his weight fully crushing his body. His eyes fell on the violin above the chest of drawers where all the photographed were lined.

 

Haru bit his neck, Rin whined and stopped him. They couldn't risk to leave marks, or else...who knew what would occur.

 

“No, Haru…”

 

Rin cupped his cheek and raised his head, ran his thumb just under bemused blue eyes. He had never seen Haru’s cheeks so red, they were crimson like the camellias in the white peddled alley.

 

They stared at each other for what seemed to be an eternity. It merely lasted a few second though. Rin brought back Haru’s lips violently against his, decided that whatever happened to them he would gladly walk through Hell, but only if it was with him, only if it was for Haru.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad for stopping here o/


	9. IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am posting this in honor of the smutty saturday ! Which means ...exactly what it meants...
> 
> The first part of the chapter is GORE tho so beware of blood and all sort of nice things :))) ENJOY !!
> 
> (Btw I added some tags)

* * *

 

 

IX.

.

As he breathed in and out calmly Sousuke tried to smell something else than blood. He got outside; the scent of the pouring rain filled his nostrils but it didn’t wash away the strong smell of blood, of Tomas’s blood; it lingered like the bitterness of a good cigar and left a horrific aftertaste of sour, steel and deception. After he threw up Sousuke thought it would get better but it didn’t; he now tasted both blood and vomit inside his mouth, which was utterly unsatisfying. Only one thing could make him feel better. He went to the smoking room to light a cigar, only to find he had used his last one a couple of hours ago. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey - _‘Our finest whiskey’_ \- and emptied it. He lay on the sofa and fell asleep quickly after his third glass.

 

In his dream the taste of blood remained with him all through. It was in everything he ate, everything he drank, even on Gou’s skin when he licked the crook of her neck. She ran her forefinger on his cheek and laughed. “It’s not me, look,” her finger was bloody red, “It’s you. You’re all covered in blood.”

 

She was smiling; her lips, he realized, where tainted with blood too. Sousuke rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand only to find it dripping with a crimson red thick liquid. ‘ _Blood. Blood everywhere_.’ His whole body felt like it was getting out of a bloodbath. Where did it all come from?

 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Father Ryuugazaki lectured him, readjusting his round glasses on his nose, “It comes from your sins!”

 

Sousuke felt a drop of blood running down his spine, like a drop a sweat. “But I didn’t do anything wrong!”

 

“Take this, I beg you!” Rin gave him his rosary, “Or else you’ll end like me.”

 

Haruka came behind Rin’s back and took him in his arms. He kissed his cheek, then looked at Sousuke with calm blue eyes, immune to the massive amount of blood springing from his pores.

 

“How did you like my knives? Did you make good use of them?”

 

Suddenly Sousuke was standing in the kitchen with a butcher knife in his hand, and Tomas was looking at him. The smell of blood took over the one of his rotten arm.

 

“It’s all because of you. I tried to save you and now you’re cutting off my arm. What kind of man would do that?”

 

“Certainly not the Duke.” Gou said, standing on the other side of the table. “My husband is flawless. He even got rid of the Beast, something you couldn’t do because you were too scared. Isn’t it right Tomas?”

 

“And I lost my arm because of this coward.”

 

Sousuke felt helpless. He sought for help in the person of Rin, but Rin was too busy with Haru’s mouth. They were making love against the door going to the cellar and it seemed no one could see them but him. What unsettled Sousuke wasn’t the public act of sex but more the blood coming from Haru’s hands and face, tainting Rin’s porcelain skin as he had tainted Gou’s. Sousuke wanted to warn his friend but he couldn’t speak, no word would pass his lips.

 

“Just confess your crimes already!” Father Ryuugazaki pressed him.

 

‘But I haven't done anything!’ he wanted to yell, at least not to deserve such cruelty. Something grabbed the arm that was holding the knife. It was Tomas’s hand, his rotten hand, all scattered and crumbling and each drop of pus that touched the kitchen table turned into a small version of the Beast, and climbed on Sousuke’s arm. He could hear them laughing, like little imps. They were all looking at him. They were all laughing at him.

 

“Get off!” He was surprised he found his voice back. “Get off of me!!!”

 

The little imps were tearing his clothes apart and eating his flesh. Sousuke cried out of pain. He tried to get rid of them by pushing them away with his other hand but it wasn’t enough. There was so much pus coming out of Tomas’s wounds that it could not be stopped. And so, suddenly, Sousuke took the knife with his free hand and cut his own arm off. As it felt on the ground the little imps dissolved into the air like the smoke of the Duke’s cigars. There was blood everywhere, on the floor, on Tomas’s face. The gardener was smiling, and his eyes were glowing yellow.

 

“No…” Sousuke breathed, “Not again…”

 

Fear caught his chest and made him ache like nothing before. His remaining hand trembled at the memory. He could still feel the Beast’s breath against his neck. Tomas’s eyes kept glowing yellow. He got up from the tablet and walked toward him.

 

“No, no, NO ! I WON’T LET YOU APPROACH ME!!!”

 

He hit Tomas’s head with the butcher’s knife. The blow ended just above his eyes, and yet Tomas advanced.

 

“WAAAAAHHHH !!!!”

 

Sousuke hit on Tomas’s head again, and again, and again, until he met the gardener's brain. The corpse fell on the ground. In panic, Sousuke took a few steps back; he slipped on his own blood and fell too, head to head with Tomas or what was left of his head. Only the glowing yellow eyes remained.

 

He wasn’t human anymore.

 

 

Sousuke woke up with a scream, in sweat, his heart racing faster than it had never been. Natsuya had tried to warn him but he had chosen to ignore his words. The Beast, dead or alive, had found a way to his mind, and it would never leave him in peace.

 

He got out of the smoking room and sought for Rin in an attempt to ease his heart, in vain. His friend was nowhere to be found. Where could he be? He had looked briefly into the gardens but was too scared to get lost in the maze to wander there. That’s the only place he hadn’t checked in the whole Hall.

 

From the bottom of his heart Sousuke knew there was one thing he needed to do but didn’t want to. His feet wouldn’t move there, glued to the ground, but still he walked in front of Tomas’s door. He could hear his wife crying inside, his fist stopped midway from knocking. However he really needed to check on the wound, to make sure there wasn’t any abnormal pus licking from the fresh scar. Images of his nightmare came to his mind...his fist trembled.

 

Georgina opened the door before he could do anything. “I thought you were there. I heard your steps.”

 

As he picked a look inside, Sousuke saw that Makoto finally came back from Treston. His eyes were all red, his eyes swollen with dark rings. He was sitting on his father’s bed.

 

“Do you need to check on him?”

 

Sousuke nodded. He couldn’t look into her eyes. She was smiling at him. _‘You saved his life,_ ’ she had told him, but it was a lie.

 

Tomas was still unconscious and thanks to Haruka’s cocktail he seemed at ease and not painful at all. The cut was neat and bleeding but that wasn’t anything unexpected. The fever and his greyish complexion had gone, which was the only thing Sousuke was interested in.

 

He couldn’t bare the Tachibana’s looks on his face and so Sousuke got out of the room quickly. He wouldn’t have thought he would be followed immediately. Georgina closed the door behind them.

 

“He looks serene, out of danger.”

 

“He isn’t.” Sousuke told her.

 

“Can you please be gentle with a woman who might lose the person she loves the most before nightfall?” She replied firmly.

 

Sousuke eyed the ground; he had always hated giving false hope, but some of his teachers taught him that sometimes, a false hope was better than no hope at all.

 

“There is no sign of fever, and we took out all the damaged tissues...he should be alright,” he managed.

 

“...Thank you.”

 

She slowly walked into his arms and hugged him tightly. “Thank you. Thank you.”

 

“Please, don’t thank me.” Sousuke couldn’t feel more uneasy, couldn’t help thinking that if things had been different, if the Duke had been with Tomas that night instead of him, he might have kept his arm.

 

“No, I must. Sir Yamazaki, I have a request.”

 

She undid her embrace and sadly looked at him. “I want an accomplished doctor to look after my husband now.”

 

“It’s only natural. I would have advised to do so anyway.” Sousuke told her.

 

“I would also appreciate if you could leave the manor as soon as possible.”

 

Her words hurt like acid on fresh wounds. Sousuke remained still, not knowing how to react, what to say. Why would she…

 

“I know what you did. I know you didn’t mean any of this to happen...but it did happen. Tomas almost died, trying to save you. And you...you are alright, unharmed, and you cut off his arm…” she clenched her fists and took a deep breath before going on, “I know Tomas is a saint and that he will never hold any grudge against you, on the contrary he’ll love you for saving his life but I am not my husband. Each time I see you I think of how he sacrificed himself for you, and I get angry. And I know I shouldn’t but it happens all the time and I...I don’t want to hate you, I don’t want to but I do, and I hate myself for doing so. So please...please, you need to leave.”

 

 

Sousuke thought about her words for a long time. He couldn’t blame her at all, he was probably the one who understood her feelings better than anyone since they were shared, but could they really leave like this? After all, Ama was getting better day after day, and if Edlington’s doctor were to look after Tomas, there was indeed no need to linger here any longer. At least for him...but Rin would never agree to leave the manor before coming in peace with his father’s death, and now with his idyll with Haruka...

 

What should he do?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Rin found out something about Haru, something that in the end shouldn’t have surprised him that much considering all the things Haru was good at. He was a quick learner, a very talented quick learner.

 

“It’s because I have the best teacher.” Haru replied, and his mouth went back on Rin’s neck. His tongue licked its way to his right ear, to Rin’s earlobe and Haru sucked it until Rin let out a moan.

 

They were already half naked, under the white sheets of Rin’s parents’ bed. They had unfastened their long johns’ buttons halfway; Haru was lying on Rin with his hand travelling down his torso, discovering his body. Rin was rather well build and toned, his stomach and chest pleasant to touch. Haru’s hand grasped on Rin’s breast and with his thumb he tickled his nipple, making Rin whined.

 

“Haru,” he took his head and brought their lips together, “Haru…”

 

He couldn’t say anything else than his name. His mind was still not believing what was happening, and half convinced he was having a very nice wet dream, Rin tried to figure out how to tell fact from fiction by biting his own skin.

 

It hurt. And he didn’t wake up.

 

Now Haru was biting on his arm too, and Rin shove his arm away. “What do you think you’re doing, huh?” he scowled.

 

Haru was looking at him bemused. He looked like a child, almost, pure and naïve about love matters. Almost, because the darkness of his pupils and the redness of his cheeks clearly betrayed his intentions, which were nothing but innocent.

 

Yet Haru had to learn a few other things about love and about how it was done.

 

Rin kissed him and ran his tongues on his lips. Haru, timidly at first, gave him what he wanted, and Rin’s tongue played with his until Haru was out of breath. Their hands were lost in each other’s hair for a while, and then Rin decided to explore a part of Haru’s body he had always dreamed of touching. His hand left his skull and got down, his fingertips brushing past the skin where his spine lay. It found its way under Haru’s long john and grabbed his ass.

 

“Oy!” Haru sat on Rin’s hips, as if he had been stunk by a bee.

 

“What?” Rin said seductively, his eyes half closed, “Too fast for you?”

 

All of this was a blatant provocation and Haru knew it. He played along. His hand joined Rin’s and he grasped his own ass. “Not harsh enough.” He replied.

 

Rin smiled, it always amused him how Haru could turn from flat to boiling water in the blink of an eye. “If you’re asking for the real deal then…Let’s see how much you’re ready for this.”

 

Haru’s length could easily be spotted under his underpants. Rin rubbed it with the palm of his hand and immediately Haru gasped and got a hold on Rin’s shoulder. “Stop,” he begged with a strangled voice.

 

“Too much?” Rin’s smile got wider, Haru was so hard and leaking already. He wondered, seeing how his body reacted, if he ever touched himself, or ever had an orgasm. Whatever the answer was he now knew he wouldn’t last a lot longer. Rin freed his cock from his long john and stroke it gently.

 

Haru buried his face in the crook of his neck, breathing heavily with each of Rin’s stroke. “It’s okay,” Rin murmured, “It’s okay.”

 

“My head,” Haru panted, “my groin...it’s going to explode.”

 

Rin knew he was close, he speeded his stroke and kissed him until Haru came into his hand. His body was shaking for a couple of second and then he fell in Rin’s embrace, breathless.

 

Rin caressed the back of his hair and dropped kisses on his cheek, tasting his sweat. “You alright?” he asked when Haru hadn’t caught his breath after a while. Haru nodded against his neck. Rin kissed his temple one time before his lips were captured by Haru’s once more.

 

“It felt like something burst inside me, as if I was shot by a rifle.” Haru told him. “But the pain was feeling good. It almost knocked me out.”

 

Haru linked their forehead and gazed into Rin’s eyes, intensely, “Will it always feel that way?”

 

Rin went for his mouth instead of replying, nibbling on his lower lip. “No of course. I’ll make sure it feels better every time.”

 

“Rin, I want you to feel that way too.”

 

Still on the afterglow, Haru gently kissed Rin’s lips before his hands finished to undress Rin entirely. Bare of any artifice Haru could properly contemplate his lover’s body before kissing the inside of his leg and knee, and up until his nose breathed in his pubic hair and tickled his ball. He stopped when Rin gasped. It was too early for this kind of lesson, Rin decided.

 

“Come here,” he pulled Haru close with his palm guiding the back of his neck to his lips. His tongue played with his while Haru caressed his cock. Rin panted into his mouth.

 

“Is that good enough for you?” Haru asked, concerned.

 

“Yes, it’s, quicker…”

 

He closed his mouth before a moan escaped his lips. Haru synced his movement with Rin’s breathing and pulled harder when Rin couldn’t control his voice anymore. He came with a shudder and then relaxed on the bed, tired but content. Haru joined him without a word, his hand still full of him. Rin eyed the ceiling, calmly listening to Haru’s slowing breathing, and it took him a minute or two to figure out what had just happened in the secret of the second floor.

 

No one came, no one heard them. Here, they were free of being what they wanted to be.

 

 

They rest in each other’s arms for an hour or two, forgetting the existence of the rest of the manor - the rest of the world. At this point Rin realized Haru almost made him forget about his father’s ghost, and even when they talked about him, there was no pain, no sorrow; just the warm feeling of childhood memories.

 

“I told you I’ve always liked him a lot,” Haru was still naked in his arm, his hand lost on Rin’s hair, playing with a rebellious brand. “I actually esteemed him more than my own father.”

 

Rin only groaned as he enjoyed Haru’s ministration fully, wondering briefly what it was Haru’s father had done to earn such hatred.

 

“It was of course nothing next to the fondness I had for you.” Haru went on.

 

“Had?” Rin smiled as he felt Haru’s hand stopped in his hair.

 

“I can’t say it remained the same. It grew with time, with loss and absence. It grew stronger with each springs where I couldn’t see you.”

 

Rin raised his head to meet Haru’s eyes. Looking at the slight blush on his cheek made a flower blooming inside his chest.

 

“How can you say things so easily when you used to be so taciturn? You didn’t voice your feelings so much before, if I remember correctly.”

 

Haru smiled gently - that was the smile, the one who took Rin’s balance away, each time. “You remembered right. But that was my mistake.”

 

“A mistake? How so?” Rin didn’t believe someone like Haru could do a single mistake. He was perfect in every aspect.

 

“I thought it was because I never said anything that you didn’t come back,” Haru told him. “That, if you had known my feelings from the start, you wouldn’t have been taken away from me.”

 

Rin lowered his eyes. It always came back to his absence, whatever path they took. Time hadn’t gone the same for the both of them. Rin had gone forward while Haru had lived in the past for the last ten years, and probably still was. The whole manor had been frozen in time since the Beast’s attack.

 

And since Its death, things were finally starting to move again.

 

“Rin, don’t be sorry for what you did. I told you it was never your fault. You’re not the one who killed my parents. You didn’t know I would wait for you that long. Now that you are here and so real in front of me, I won’t make the same mistake again. Truth is, I love you, more than anything in the world. I always have.”

 

He went on, saying Rin was the dearest thing he had, and with all sort of praise and love words going out so smoothly out of his mouth, so easily it seemed he had been practicing all this time just to say them perfectly. Rin was blushing from head to toes again, he hugged Haru close to his chest and hid his face there, repeating his name again and again and again for Haru’s words prevented him from saying anything else.

 

When Haru calmed down a bit and his breath returned to a quiet rhythm Rin found the strength to meet his eyes again. He wanted to say it back, but the moment he opened his mouth Haru did the same, and so none wanted to speak before the other. His eyes were so blue, like the warm summer sky, they had always impressed him so much.

 

“...Tell me,” Haru started, “...It wasn't the first time you did this.”

 

The inquiry unsettled him, after all the praise Haru had just given him. Rin didn’t really know if it was a question or not. He was under the impression that, Haru was asking the question but already knew the answer and wasn’t happy about it. Truth was, they never talked about Rin’s past that much, at least considering his love life. Rin could have been married or engaged and Haru wouldn't know, and probably wouldn’t care since he had never asked.

 

“Does it make you angry?” Rin asked. Of course he would be. Rin would if he were to be in Haru’s shoes - probably because he would know exactly all of what Rin had done in his past.

 

“A little,” Haru replied sincerely. “I’d rather say I’m envious. Jealous, maybe.”

 

“You don’t have to be. My heart is yours.”

 

It had been so easy to say that Rin couldn’t actually believe he had just said those lines, not to Haru, not when he was nude and bare in his arms at last.

 

It took a while for Haru to reply something.

 

“Always?”

 

Rin nodded against Haru’s chest. His arms curled around the small of his back and they hugged tightly. They stayed there, in Rin’s parents’ bed, for quite a while. Eventually, Rin fell in a dreamless sleep in his lover’s arms.

 

 

When he woke up Haru had sit in the bed, his head was in his lap and he was caressing his hair. “People are looking for us I think,” he told him when he saw him awake. “We should probably go back to our rooms.”

 

Rin raised his head and kissed Haru’s lips. “Until next time.”

 

“Until tonight then?”

 

Rin laughed, and kissed him again.

 

“Promise me you’ll never leave me again.”

 

Haru was not someone you could negotiate with easily, especially when he wore that outstanding smile and when he looked at Rin with so much love in his eyes - and Rin would be damned to do so. It had never been his intention anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This really feel like a transition chapter, or just a chapter 8 part 2 (maybe I should have made only one chapter of these two? I dunno. One day maybe I will since the story would be 13 chapters long hahaha).
> 
> Starting from here things are really going to get nastier; so be careful while reading :) :) :) yes this is my psychopath smile if you were wondering.
> 
> Others news : I COMPLITED THE STORY. IT'S NOT AN EXERCICE IT'S REAL. It was about time because the more I read it the less I like...a lot of things in this idea. I'm still very happy I was able to finish, regardless of its imperfections. SO BE REASSURED you'll know the ending of this mystery. I wonder what you ppl think of it!


	10. X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : some homophobia, blood, really there is blood, and if you haven't got a bingo game with all the characters of the fic it's time to make one. You'll see later why.

 

* * *

 

 

Ama woke up in the middle of the night with the scent of ashes invading her room. She sat straight on her bed. There was no fire, no gun being shot, but instead she heard several ‘knock’ ‘knock’ coming from the room beside her wall. Yet the room was unoccupied...intrigued, she sat on her bed and looked at her legs for a long time. It was time to get up on her own at last.

 

At first her legs wobbled with the lack of exercise and Ama had to use the wall then the window to walk her way to the door. The glass froze her hand; they were reaching the end of November. Time flew so quickly. Who would have thought ten years had passed since the Nanases had died? Who would have thought Rin Matsuoka would come back after all this time, hunting his father’s last traces, here all of the place?

 

It was snowing outside, Ama noticed; there was light coming from Goro’s hut. She let out a sigh of content. If the three of them were still alive then maybe that young doctor was right, maybe she had just imagined Toraichi’s ghost and nothing was coming for the three of us. Yet she couldn’t help but wonder why Goro never took the time to visit her. He knew more than anyone that she didn’t mind his scars, so why? Was it because of the newcomer?

 

By the time she ended her contemplation the ‘knocks’ had stopped. Maybe it was, again, just part of her imagination.

 

***

  


The following day as Father Ryuugazaki checked on Ama for the last time Sousuke felt the heavy atmosphere weighing on his shoulders more than ever. And yet everything looked better, brighter : Ama was cured, the Beast was gone and the last of Its poison had died with Tomas’ missing arm. Yet he had never felt more miserable. Perhaps it was supposed to be that way when something ended, there was always a bitter aftertaste, especially when one had screwed up from A to Z.

 

“Do you think I’ll be able to walk to the lake?” Ama asked the priest.

 

Sousuke wondered why she asked, and forgot to listen to the priest replied; he just noticed how Haruka’s grip on the teapot had harden while the believers talked.

 

Ama refused his tea when he proposed her some, “Actually I’d like something stronger,” the maid turned her eyes on Sousuke, “Can I?”

 

“I have no objection on that matter. You seem entirely cured, whatever it was that forced you to keep your bed.”

 

Her smile was warm, like the promise of summer.

 

When they got out of her room Haruka looked lost with his full cup of tea. Sousuke had to refrain from urging him to find Rin to drink his awful beverage.

 

“It’s time for me to return to my parish,” Father Ryuugazaki announced. It was far from being unexpected and Sousuke would even have been glad to see the priest out of the Hall’s wall for Rin’s own safety, but his words resonated with Georgina’s and forced him to face a dilemma. Should they stay or should they follow the priest step, and go back to London?

 

“What are you going to do?” Father asked, as if he had heard Sousuke’s turmoil, “I guess you have nothing left to do here. Beside, it started snowing last night; if you don’t want to linger here all winter you should go back to your homes quickly.”

 

Sousuke noticed, from the corner of his eyes, Haruka’s eyes freezing while they spoke. “I haven’t thought about this before, but we sure need to discuss this matter as soon as possible.”

 

“That would be wi-”

 

Haruka’s tea cup fell on the ground, the tea tainting the parquet and part of his shoes. He excused himself and disappeared from their view before they had time to blink. Father Ryuugazaki screw his eyes. “I haven’t got the opportunity to discuss with Lord Nanase as much as I would have wanted but his behaviour is far from being ordinary.”

 

Sousuke quickly thought of a trick to hide the real reason of Haruka’s sorrow; the priest was the last person who needed to know about Rin and Haruka’s affair and Sousuke would make sure it remained that way until his departure. “The Hall hadn’t had guests in a while. I’ve heard Lord Nanase rarely see other people. I guess he is sad the manor would come back to his empty state.”

 

His explanation failed to content the priest’s curiosity. He was still frowning when he put back his spectacles in place. “If you say so. Now, you would excuse me…”

 

The priest walked back to his room while Sousuke lingered there, thinking; he couldn’t wait for his departure, only then he would feel at peace. Rin must never know about this suspicion. Haruka couldn’t hide his emotions when it concerned Rin. He wasn’t, like them, shaped by society’s standard and unfair rules, hadn’t known of discrimination and fear and so he hadn’t learn that some things, to be enjoyed, needed to be hidden from everyone’s view. Father Ryuugazaki said he had tried to talk to Haruka...did he follow him? Look for him? Did he notice that he spent all his time with Rin, walked too close to him, did he witness the adoration in his eyes when they looked at each other? He must have, everyone did and none of them spoke about it. Their love was an open secret to the whole Hall.

 

Ama’s door creaked, taking Sousuke out of his dark thoughts. “Sir Yamazaki, what are you still doing here?” She asked, yet she seemed happy to find him here.

 

Sousuke quickly joined her side in case her constitution wasn’t strong enough for her to stay up for too long. “I was just thinking about what I shall do. Are you alright?”

 

Ama nodded. “Yes, very much. It’s all thanks to you all. But I still have so much progress to do...would you walk with me for a bit? I want to see how far I can walk by my own.”

 

She looked like she had an idea behind her mind, Sousuke had never seen her so determined. For someone who had stayed in her room for so long she looked a little bit too eager to go outside when snow started to fall.

 

In the end, everyone had their own secrets, and Sousuke was the last man to blame someone for that. They were all human beings, after all.

 

*******

  


Nagisa had prepared a feast for Father Ryuugazaki’s departure. Rin had never been happier to enjoy such delicious meals, there wasn’t a better way to celebrate now that his worst nightmare was about to leave them for good. At least he would be able to breathe in peace at night and to enjoy Haru’s company as much as he wanted, not fearing to be thunderstruck on the spot because of what was running in his mind when Haru bit his lips as his eyes lowered to his groin. Gosh; that man was impossible. Of course, Rin already knew it before he kissed him the first time, but he acted as if nothing was controlling him, nor propriety or decency sometimes. And it felt so good to act as if everything was normal, as if they were freed from people’s looks, people’s expectation, people’s judgement.

 

“Ama is doing really better by the day,” Sousuke talked next to him, they were enjoying liquor in front of the french windows. Snow was falling but melt as soon as it touched the ground. Too bad, Rin thought, he would had loved to see the gardens all covered in snow. Haru told him the red flowers of the camellias were beautiful when they fell on the snow…

 

“Yet I can feel something is off with her, it’s as if she was hiding something. But what? The Beast is gone, she already told you she never saw your father-”

 

“Haru,” Rin cut him, and Sousuke sighed. He was trying to have an important conversation and the only thing Rin was talking about was his cousin.

 

“No, no it’s not what you’re thinking, I mean I was half listening but I remember something Haru told me and, I can’t believe I haven’t told you yet!”

 

Love made him stupid, that was the only explanation.

  


“So Haru saw your father a little bit after his parents’ slaughter?”

 

Rin felt so shameful, a week ago he would have come in the middle of the night, waking Sousuke to tell him about his discovery. And here he was, too much enamoured to share his findings.

 

“And he didn’t remember him leaving. He also said he could have because he went to sleep when he didn’t see me along with my father, but this is another piece of the puzzle leading to the conclusion that, whatever happened, my father _died_ here in the Hall ten years ago. Haru said he had an argument with Goro, that he heard them shouting. Maybe that’s when he was killed. Ama saw a hole in his skull, Goro must have shot him the night he came to the Hall.”

 

“But it doesn’t make any sense. If Haru had heard their fight he would have heard a gunshot,” Sousuke remarked, which upset Rin. “Plus, I’m not sure you should rely on what Ama saw that night. Ghosts don’t exist. And whatever she told you, the human brain can imagine a lot of things.”

 

“But it fits!” Rin exclaimed, “Everything makes sense that way. My father’s ghost appeared to warm me, and asked me to find what happened ten years ago. That’s why he had waited so long! His soul can’t rest in peace until I’ve untangled this mystery, that’s why his ghost is still within the Hall.”

 

He could see Sousuke sighing again, but that was to be expected, he didn’t believe in ghosts; Rin was tempted to remind him he hadn’t believed in the Beast as well, but knew the trauma was too fresh not to hurt him badly.

 

“Rin, listen; even if we admit your father’s ghost is still living among us, why hadn’t you seen it yet? He’s your father, and it didn’t appear in front of you but in front of Ama. This doesn’t make any sense, if it had some to begin with.”

 

Rin scowled and sat on the sofa, crossing his arm in front of his chest. “You’re not funny.”

 

“Funny? What had gotten you? Of all the people I thought you would be the last person to use that word while talking about your father’s death.”

 

Rin’s eyes unfocused for a while and thought about his friend’s words. He admitted something had changed in him, and knew very well what it was. His heart had chosen another camp, and he needed to tell Sousuke.

 

“I’m in love,” he said, “I’m really very much in love.”

 

“I already knew that.” Sousuke replied, kneeling in front of his friend.

 

“No, you don’t understand; I’ve made my choice.” Rin took his rosary into his hands, his thumb caressed the wooden cross. “I won’t let guilt take over what is the most precious to me. I love Haru and I’ve decided I won’t feel miserable for loving another man ever again. Hell can wait for me if it pleases it but I’m ready to face my sins after death as long as I can enjoy my life as much as I want.”

 

His speech left Sousuke dumbfound, Rin could see his mouth opening and closing as if he couldn’t find any word to add. He knew how hard it had been for his friend to see him so miserable, he knew too well all the effort he deployed to make him feel better. He must be angry that it took only a night spent with Haru to change his mind, something Sousuke had failed to achieve his years.

 

“I know, I know what you’re going to say, but don’t say it. I haven’t felt happier in ages, god I have never been this good in my entire life. He takes the anger out of me, you know? When I’m with him I don’t think about my father as I used to anymore. It becomes a warm and pleasant memory, and not the burning scar I bore since he disappeared from my life. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to find what happened to him, on the contrary but I...I don’t feel the same anymore. This isn’t about vengeance, it’s about justice, it’s about doing something right. It stopped being my personal crusade.”

 

Haru’s presence healed his soul from its deeper wounds. And it felt so good to finally say it to someone else, to his best friend, it made everything even more real.

 

But Sousuke’s next question made him go back to reality rather harshly.

 

“There’s something I don’t quite understand, Rin; if you had been in love with him for such a long time, why did you come back sooner to Aberdeen Hall?”

 

Sousuke never got his answer. Everyone had their own secrets, some they brought with them to the grave.

  


***

  


It was past midnight; Sousuke was still reading old reports Natsuya gave him when someone knocked on his door. Rin was pale, his hand holding the candelabrum trembling; he looked as he had just seen a ghost. Sousuke would recognize this look anywhere : it was Prague all over again. His heart started to beat faster.

 

“Can you come for a second?” Rin murmured, his voice hollow.

 

They walked hastily to the second floor. Rin didn’t spare him a single word before he opened Haruka’s door. “He coughed a lot tonight but it just happened now.”

 

Haruka sat on his bed, sweating; he was holding a tissue and coughing out blood. Rin sat on his side and caressed his back. “It’s okay, breathe in and out calmly.” He said, then he kissed his hair and his hands couldn’t help but touch Haruka everywhere - which one of the two needed to remain calm?

 

“Do you have trouble breathing?” Sousuke asked.

 

Haruka simply nodded; too weak to talk. This wasn’t good. At this rate...what was happening?

 

Another coughing fit and more blood came out of Haruka’s mouth; overall his spit filled half of a cup of tea.

 

“There is nothing we can do about it now,” Sousuke confessed, he was powerless in front of what seemed to be a severe pneumonia, “Haruka needs rest.”

 

“I’ll never leave his sight.” Rin’s hand finally rested on Haruka’s hair, stuck on his face by the sweat. He hugged him in his arms, Haruka’s head leaning on the crock on his neck. “I’ll make sure he’s okay.”

 

Unfortunately Sousuke knew love couldn’t win against illness, but he had never hoped so much it would. Haruka coughed again, more violently this time.

 

“Gonna throw up.” He warned, and Rin handed him a bowl before he emptied his stomach.

 

Sousuke got a bad feeling about that. It didn’t look like a normal cough; usually pneumonia took days to make the sicks coughed out blood, but Haruka had only been coughing for a couple of hours.

 

“Make sure he remains sit, I’ll go to Edlington tomorrow.”

 

“Don’t you have anything to ease the cough?” Rin asked.

 

Alas Sousuke didn’t have any medication with him, it broke his heart to watch his friend’s face torn with pain and worry.

 

They got out of the room with Haruka’s cough covering their voices. It was easy to see how frightened Rin was.

 

“Be honest, what's happening to him?”

 

“I have no idea,” Sousuke said, “I haven’t met those kind of symptoms before.”

 

“Is he...is he…” Rin’s voice got strangled in his throat, tears ran in his cheek and met his lips, “He is going to be okay right? He can’t take it away from me, I won’t let him.”

 

“Whatever it is God has nothing to do with his state, Rin, be sure of that.”

 

But the damages were already done. The day Rin chose to rebel against the Creator his lover was struck by a violent disease, the message couldn’t be clearer.

  


Sousuke went to Edlington as soon as the sun rose, after he checked on the fated lovebirds. Rin hadn’t slept a wink at night and so did Haruka, between his trouble to breath and the endless cough, he had gone even paler than what Sousuke remembered. His pulse had gone faster as well. Rin was even worse, convinced he was going to die, almost ready to follow him as soon as Haruka would stop breathing.

 

On the road to Edlington, Sousuke let the tears flooded. The hunt, the Beast, Tomas saving him, losing his arms, the Duke killing the Beast with his back straight and his eyes determined, the amputation and now...and now, the moment Rin felt the happier person alive this needed to happen. Sousuke didn’t want to tell him, because he could never lie to Rin but he had no idea of what Haruka was suffering of and, honestly, there were chances that he wouldn’t pass the next night.

 

This was so unfair!

 

Sousuke picked up the doctor as he was eating breakfast with his wife and their three children. “There’s an emergency.” He just said, but he assumed his face told the doctor more about the gravity of the situation.

 

They were at Haruka’s bedside before the household heard about the news. Rin was still holding him in his arms. They dreaded the doctor’s conclusion when he finished his examination.

 

“Well, your lungs are alright, from what I heard. There is no sign of acute infection. Have you ever had pneumonia in the past?”

 

“When I was a child I was always sick during winter.” Haruka told him. It was a good sign, he could speak a whole sentence without taking his breath.

 

“That’s probably another cold, or maybe the flew. Have you coughed blood since this morning?”

 

Rin handed him the bowl, half of it was full of saliva and blood. The doctor winced, which didn’t sound good at all, but he didn’t add anything before he exited the room. Sousuke followed him.

 

“It’s interesting. His lungs’ auscultation is totally free. I have no idea of where that bloody cough is coming.”

 

“Is this serious?” Sousuke inquired.

 

“No idea. I guess the coming hours are going to be decisive. Now, I think I have another patient to look after, haven’t I?”

 

They walked to Tomas’s room where his wife was washing his face. “Oh, Doctor Stew, we didn’t expect you until this afternoon.” Georgina gazed at her husband and his missing arm. “Is there something wrong?”

 

“There’s no need to panic, I came earlier to take care of Lord Nanase who suffers from what seems to be a mild pneumonia. Now if you would excuse me I need to undo these bandages…”

 

Georgina left the room, sending a questioning glance at Sousuke when she passed by him, “You should go see him,” he advised her. She nodded, and hurried to the second floor.

 

The wound was healing nicely and Doctor Stew congratulated Sousuke for his surgery. There was no pus tainting the white bandages, only blood and serum. Tomas was smiling when he saw the wound. “It doesn’t even hurt at all.”

  


Doctor Stew was cleaning his instrument before taking his leave. “You’ve done a fantastic job, Yamasaki…?”

 

“Sousuke, Yamazaki Sousuke. Thank you for your praise.”

 

“Yamazaki Sousuke, I’ll remember your name. May I ask you a question? It might be indelicate but as a pair…” The doctor washed his glasses and put them back on his nose. “I’ve heard you’re a friend of that Matsuoka.”

 

Sousuke was taken aback by the disdainful tone the doctor used when he spoke Rin’s name. “...I am, and?”

 

“Well, you must know of his...situation, I suppose?”

 

His words made Sousuke clenched his fist with aversion,

 

“He is well known in the highest sphere of aristocracy; mind you, his little sister had to marry in a hurry to prevent the shame from ruining the Matsuoka name. They had always been a curse family, ate up by an unspeakable evil...as a friend you should want what is best for him and his reputation.”

 

Doctor Stew gave him a card, the name of a Clinique and its address were written with a very elegant handwritten golden ink.

 

“Saint James Clinique...where did I see that name before?”

 

“Probable in the report I gave you about Lord Nanase’s mother. She had been sectioned here for a couple of months when she was still very young. I thought you would have read them by now, my pair Doctor Serizawa demanded that I provide the copy for you specifically.”

 

Sousuke recalled all the document Aiichiro gave him but none mentioned Kaori Nanase’s stay in any asylum. “Are these files, by all mean, thin and blue?”

 

“I see you took time to remember! Honestly I don’t know what you are still doing in that place after reading all that report. The Hall had been abandoned by God for decades, there’s nothing good coming from this place.”

 

Sousuke watched the doctor leave under the snow, and he stood there in front the the white peddle alley for long minutes, leaving the front door opened. What was the meaning of this? Why didn’t Rin tell him about these files? Were there still things he was hiding from him? He needed to know when and why Haruka’s mother had been confined, and how she got out so quickly.

 

Determined to learn more from his friend Sousuke rushed to the second floor, and halted his steps in front of Haruka’s door. All he could hear was his cough, and Rin’s voice, and the butler’s sobs. When he entered the room he knew he wouldn’t be able to get what he wanted for some time.

  


By midday life had almost returned to normal in the manor. Georgina and Ran were cleaning the first floor while Nagisa was making lunch, and Makoto was running between his father’s and Haruka’s room to check if everyone was okay and still breathing properly.

 

“You know, I can call you if anything bad happens,” Sousuke proposed. The poor butler looked exhausted.

 

“It is really bad luck. Why did it have to happen when Ren chose to stay in Treston with his fiancé? He could have helped me…” Makoto sighed.

 

“There is no other choice then, you have to let me help you. We don’t have any choice, we’re the two remaining operational men of this manor.” Sousuke joked.

 

It seemed to work since Makoto smiled a bit. “You forgot Nagisa.”

  


By the end of the day Sousuke was exhausted. Who could think there was so many things to do to maintain such a huge structure? After bringing wood for the chimney Sousuke had to hold Ama to Tomas, then to Haruka’s room, then make sure the horses were not freezing, then go back to get Ama to her room again...in the end he had for sure visited every single room of the manor - included some he would have liked not to, like, the pigs’ latrines - and it’s, without any surprise, that he found his best friend at the very same place he left him this morning.

 

In Haruka’s arms, breathing in his bloody cough. He had fallen asleep at last.

 

“You know you should get back to your room. He’s probably contagious.”

 

“Fine,” Rin answered bitterly. “Then I’ll get sick just like him. And if he doesn’t make it I’ll follow him.”

 

“Rin...please…” Sousuke sat on Haruka’s bed just next to him, “Don’t say silly things like these. He’s gonna make it. The doctor said his lungs were free.”

 

“I saw your face this morning,” Rin muttered, his voice hushed by a sob he had managed to repress all day, “And I know your faces more than anyone. I know you can’t fake them.”

 

Sousuke eyed the ground. He knew Rin was right, he should have known from the start he had read his thoughts.

 

“You thought he was going to die. That’s why you drove so early to Edlington. I don’t care what this stupid doctor thinks, or the way he stared at me while I was holding Haru’s hand, I don’t care. I trust you more than anyone else in the world.” Rin took Haruka’s hand and brought it to his lips. “If it’s the last moment he has I want to spend them with him as we should.”

 

Haruka stirred in his sleep and opened an eye. “Idiot...go back to your room.” He murmured, and when back to sleep, peacefully.

 

Rin dropped his hand and sighed. “I guess I can’t win, it’s two against one. If he felt like dying I’m sure he would have asked me to stay with him.”

 

“If he were dying he wouldn’t have any force left to ask you anything.” Sousuke corrected.

 

They heard Haruka laughed in his sleep.

  


***

  


Sousuke left Haruka’s room late at night after he was sure he was alright and walked Rin to his own room, mostly to check he would not rush back to Haruka’s side as soon as Sousuke would turn his back. Even though the situation seemed to be under control there was still something bugging him, something important that unconsciously prevent him from finding sleep.

 

In the middle of the night, still wide awake, the thought tormented him so much that Sousuke got up and went to the smoking room. He took a glass of whiskey and sat on the comfortable sofa where he found, rather luckily, the files Natsuya gave him. He must have left them here the day before without realizing it…

 

But of course! It had been right under his nose, the fulgurant tuberculosis case! Sousuke found the file on the top of the pile and reread carefully the symptoms the young cook had had before dying. He was said to be perfectly healthy the previous day...then started coughing within the day...and then, suddenly, coughed a lot of blood and died on the spot. The reports were too old and imprecise for Sousuke to confirm or infirm the similarity but it still could be possible. What if history chose to repeat itself? What if the same thing was happening to Haruka right now?

 

But in that case, was he suffering of tuberculosis or did someone try to poison him?

 

Before Sousuke got the time to think this theory over a muffled sound made him start with surprise. It was way past two o’clock, who could be up this late? Was it Rin looking for him? Did something bad happened? Was Haruka alright?

 

Sousuke ran out of the smoking room and went to the stairs where he found, dumbfounded, a body lying on the ground. But contrary to what he thought he didn’t find Haruka or Rin, but a woman unconscious with her stomach flat to the ground.

 

It was Ama. Sousuke hurried to her side and shook her form. “Hey, hey!” He called her, until she moaned in pain and set upright on her elbows. Sousuke gasped at the sight in front of him : the maid was bleeding from her nose and mouth, and her lips were purple as if she was severely lacking oxygen. She was panting heavily.

 

“Good Heavens! Ama! What is happening? When did you start bleeding like that?”

 

Sousuke felt helpless, he couldn’t do a single thing but watch Ama cough more blood, a blood puddle forming under her chin. “...Goro...I…the lights...” she murmured, agonizing.

 

“You need some water. I’ll bring some, stay here a bit.” Sousuke was about to stand but Ama took his arm. He halted.

 

“No...don’t...the key...the diaries...in the bookcase…” she said between her pants, and then she coughed again, fresh blood flooding out of her mouth and running down her chin.

 

“Ama...Ama!” Sousuke shouted when Ama fell on the ground again.

 

“...Poison...it’s in the blood…” she panted. She brought her hand to her necklace and gave it to Sousuke. “Please...Haruka…watch over him...”

 

Ama hold his hand strongly for a second and then, nothing. She stopped panting, she stopped breathing. Blood kept licking down her neck, tainting her white sleeping dress.

 

She remained still for a couple of seconds before Sousuke had the presence of mind to check her pulse. His fingers found her neck where her carotid should be and felt nothing.

 

Ama was dead.

 

She was really dead.

 

Her blood kept flooding, reaching Sousuke’s clothes. He looked at the necklace she had put in his hand. “No...No it can’t be…” It had happened so fast. She was just fine in the morning, gosh she had never been so fine since they arrived; she had walked with him and she even smiled at him when he brought her back to her room after visiting Haruka…

 

Haruka.

 

She coughed a bit after she came out of his room.

 

Did she get infected this afternoon?

 

He needed to see Rin, he needed to take him out of there.

 

Sousuke went to the Tachibana’s room where he found Georgina and Makoto sound asleep. He woke up the butler and very mindfully exposed the situation.

 

“Wha-”

 

Makoto was about to cry but Sousuke put a hand on his mouth. “I know, and I’m so sorry but we don’t need to wake everyone at this late hour. I need to check on Haruka and Rin, could you take care of her body and bring it back to her room?”

 

Tears fell from his eyes, yet the butler nodded, “I’ll also warn Goro, he would want to know.”

 

They cleaned the blood out of her face before Makoto hold her in his arms. “What is happening?” Makoto sobbed as they reached her room. “Why do things like this keep happening to us?”

 

Sousuke opened him the door. Her room was small but very tidy, with a bookcase, a dressing table and a night table where a small book was resting, probably her diary.

 

_‘The key...the diaries…_ ’ Ama’s words came to his mind again, the shock made him forget them. But there was something else, what did she say just before she died?

 

_‘Poison,’_ Sousuke recalled, _‘Poison, it’s in the blood.’_

 

Poison.

 

In the blood.

 

On Ama’s skin the blood had left a blueish mark. She must have been contaminated while visiting Haruka, she must have touched the blood he had coughed, one way or another.

 

Sousuke saw the red stain on the helm of his shirt and immediately took it off.

 

“I need to see Rin right now. Do not touch her blood, okay?” He informed, Makoto nodded silently.

 

His legs felt like jelly when he climbed to the second floor. What if it was too late? The sight of Rin, his mouth full of blood, dead in Haru’s arm, was not one he was ready to handle. The second before he reached Haruka’s bedroom Sousuke thought he was about to throw up. He couldn’t feel his limbs anymore. His vision got blurry, by tears or hypotension he didn’t know.

 

Haruka and Rin were lying in each other’s arms, holding hands, breathing slowly but still breathing, living.

 

Rin was alive.

 

He opened his eyes slowly when Sousuke stroke his shoulder. Haruka mumbled something and rolled on his back. “Rin, come with me, please.”

 

It was hard to drag him out of the room but Sousuke seemed to retrieve his strength at the sight of his still breathing friend. He hold Rin by the arms until they got down the first floor. “Are you alright?” he asked.

 

Rin yawned loudly, he didn’t look like he had any trouble breathing, hadn’t coughed at all since they left Haruka’s room. “It’s the middle of the night, I am tired- woa!” Sousuke hugged him in his arms, tightly, almost crushing him. “Hey, are _you_ alright? Why did you wake me up? Is there something wrong?”

 

Rin could feel his friend shaking against his chest. “Ama’s dead.” He just said.

 

“What? You’re kidding right?” Rin’s voice was hollowed, he couldn’t believe it either.

 

“She started coughing after seeing Haruka and I found her at the bottom of the staircase, spitting blood. She died in my arms...I couldn’t do anything to save her.”

 

Rin’s arms fell on his side. “This...no it can’t be true. It is all a bad dream and I’m going to wake up.”

 

“Rin this is not a dream,” Sousuke whispered, “I think someone poisoned her, willingly or not.”

 

“This is all just a bad dream,” Rin went on, his eyes not even looking at Sousuke anymore, “All of this, since we reached Aberdeen, this is just a bad dream.”

 

“Before dying she said the poison was in the blood...did you know if she touched Haruka when she visited him?”

 

“I...I don’t know,” Rin replied, going back to reality, “She asked me to leave them alone. Oh I can’t believe this is happening, I can’t.”

 

At last Rin seemed to accept reality, and he began to cry loudly. Sousuke hold him against his chest again, smoothing his back. I couldn’t know how Rin felt; he had known Ama since he was a child and probably adored her deeply, just like everyone in the manor did. Rin didn’t feel like staying in his arm though, obsessed with none but one only thing.

 

He turned his heels, ready to get back to Haruka’s side but Sousuke prevented him to by holding his arm. “I’m not letting you back in there,” Sousuke warned him.

 

“What?”

 

“Think! Obviously someone tried to poison Haruka!” He spoke quietly. “Ama is only a collateral victim, she must have been contaminated while visit him. It’s a miracle you are still alive so I am not letting you back there again.”

 

Rin struggled against his grip. “You’re not my mother, I can do what the fuck I want.”

 

“Look, it seems Haruka is better at handling the poison than Ama, or he would have already been dead,” Rin gasped when he spoke the word, “Maybe it’s because he threw up, or because he’s a man I don’t know, but he’s very likely to make it through. Just wait a bit until he feels better. Just wait, it’s all I’m asking, for God’s sake Rin!”

 

But Rin would have none of his speech, he aggressively got out of his grip and took back the stairs. “I won’t leave him alone ever again! I’ve done that too much in the past. I won’t abandon him when he needs me the most. What kind of person would do that to the one he loves?”

 

Sousuke chased after him. “Any reasonable person! I don’t know Haruka how much as you do, but I’m sure he doesn’t want you to die for him!”

 

Freed from his grip Rin rushed inside Haruka’s room “Then I’m done being reasonable!”

 

He shut the door on Sousuke’s face before he could add anything. Sousuke was left alone, powerless, with the feeling of being dead inside and a bloody necklace between his fingers.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Ama...
> 
> The fun part starts at last :D
> 
> Her name is altered because 1/it's Victorian AU 2/ I thought of Emma, a manga about a maid, and thought that shortening her last name could fit. I'm not sure how I feel about changing characters name to fit an AU tbh but once you've started...you can't really go back!
> 
> See you later for another bloody chapter.


	11. XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Eos.  
> By the time she reads this s3 would probably be over but still, ilu  
> (jk jk) (or not?)

* * *

# Chapter XI

.

 

The first sunrays shyly came out of the clouds, tickling sleepy heads; the cold air of morning hitting on Haru’s window dissuaded them from leaving their blanket. Haru woke up first. He watched Rin breathing in and out softly, immobile at first, not believing he could be here with him, sharing his bed. His hands caressed his cheek. Rin stirred at the touch; he yawned and crawled closer to Haru which was quite an achievement since they were practically fit together.

 

“Hello,” he said, his voice hoarse by sleep. “You look better.”

 

Indeed Haru hadn’t coughed at all that night, his lips had found back their rosy color and his eyes were smiling when they looked at Rin. “Much better. Thank you for looking after me.”

 

Rin went on his elbow and kissed his cheek. “You’re an idiot. What else could I do?”

 

“You could have gone with your friend when he asked you to.”

 

Rin was surprised Haru had heard their conversation, but then, he realized it meant-

 

“So you know about Ama?”

 

Haru nodded, his eyes lowered with sadness. “I’m so sorry she died because of me.”

 

Rin reached for his lips, kissing him strongly, “Don’t ever say that again,” he said when he broke the kiss, “Nothing is your fault. You’re the victim in all this.”

 

“I know, but Rin, if something had happened to you because of me I don’t think I could have forgiven myself.”

 

He looked like he was about to cry so Rin hold his chin and made their eyes met. “Do I look sick to you?”

 

Haru shook his head. He leaned against Rin’s forehead, his hands around his neck. “You look very alive to me.”

 

Rin kissed him again, this time a little bit more desperate for something without knowing what exactly, his tongue danced with Haru between their mouths, leaving Haru breathless quickly. He seemed so well that it was easy to forget he had been close to death just a day ago. Rin apologized for his boldness with a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, “I’m always pushing you a bit too far.”

 

“No you’re not. Rin, I’m happy that you stayed.”

 

Haru snuggled into Rin’s chest, rest his nose in the crook of his neck and breathed his scent. His arms circled his waist, forbidding him to go anywhere until he was allowed to.

 

 

***

 

 

Doctor Stew came back in the morning, again, joking that he should just take a room already. He stopped laughing when Makoto brought him to Ama’s room. The mark on her neck where her blood had fooled were turning grey against the white skin. Her eyes were blotched with blood. He closed them again.

 

“You said she coughed blood?” He asked Sousuke, who confirmed his fear. “It looked, more or less, like the fulgurant tuberculosis one of the cook succumb to a few years ago. She still might be contagious, we must take care of her body as soon as possible. Does she have any family left?”

 

It appeared she didn’t. The manor was her only home

 

They decided to burn her corpse in front of the lake when night came.

 

As Doctor Stew went down to check on Tomas’s wound, Sousuke followed him, “Wait, are you really serious about this diagnostic?”

 

The doctor didn’t wait for him and took down the stairs, “What else could it be?”

 

Sousuke quickly caught his steps. “I don’t know. Ever heard of something called poison?”

 

They halted in front of Tomas’s room. “And what exactly are you implying?”

 

“That someone tried to poison Haruka Nanase, and ended up killing Ama by misguard. I couldn’t be more clear.”

 

He eyed him severely. “I told you the two cases are similar. Are you suggesting that poor young man got poisoned years ago as well?”

 

Sousuke couldn’t decide if the doctor was skeptical or in denial of the truth.

 

“It is still possible. After all, Kaori Nanase was accused of sorcery at that time, but what if she had used poison instead?”

 

“And what for!?” The conversation became heated. “The cook had just arrived at the manor, she had no motive whatsoever, no one had!”

 

“Not all people need a motive to kill. Perhaps she enjoyed killing people. Perhaps that’s why she ended in Saint James Clinique.” Sousuke suggested.

 

To that, the doctor laughed, “You have no idea of why that woman entered the clinique, no idea!”

 

Sousuke left him alone with Tomas, he couldn’t get in there, because the doctor was right, he had no idea.

 

 

As everyone was busy, or too stunned to mind his presence - or in love, depending who he was thinking about - Sousuke took advantage of this moment suspended in time to search for the murder weapon : there must be in the manor traces of the deadly poison, hidden somewhere.

 

Sousuke started with the kitchen. He had been there often and knew the place, so he would remark easily if something had been moved. Due to the lack of personnel he assumed dust hadn’t been properly done in months. Since he hoped the murderer didn’t use poison everyday, Sousuke meticulously looked for lack of dust on the cupboard and tables.

 

Unfortunately he couldn’t find anything.

 

He then went to the cellar and searched the whole place but didn’t find anything either. Thinking the murder could use a kind of plant, he then ended in the hen house and went where the aromatic plants were. Most of them were dead due to the cold, but it appeared there weren’t any suspicious plants to his knowledge.

 

“Hey! What are you doing here?”

 

Sousuke jumped, but it was only Nagisa, holding a basket full of yesterday left over. The cook joined him and they walked towards the pigs together.

 

“You remember I told you I was unhappy because nothing ever happened here?” Nagisa said sadly as he fed the pigs, “I was wrong back then. I liked it better when everything was calm. I didn’t want anyone to die. I’m thinking about going back to the capital as soon as I have the opportunity.”

 

“You’d be right. We might leave too, very soon.” Sousuke informed him.

 

“Poor Haru. He is always the one left behind.”

 

Sousuke felt his heart ache. How was Rin going to react...would he ever want to leave this cursed place? None of the occupants were mentioning it but if someone had been poisoned it meant someone among them was the poisoner and could strike again at any moment; Sousuke was fond of mysteries but not to the point of risking his life.

 

As he gazed at the pigs’ latrines with disgust a detail caught his attention. It was hidden in the ground behind a bale of straw, something white, standing out next to the mud and feces. Sousuke knelt, brushed some straw away and took the white object.

 

It was a small bone, he noticed. A foot bone, the navicular bone.

 

A human bone.

 

“Oi, Sousuke! Are you coming?” Nagisa called him from the door.

 

It took him some time to reply. “Yeah,” he managed, “Coming.” He hid the bone inside his pocket and tried not to think about it for the time being.

 

Sousuke roved until he found his room. He sat on his bed, took the chamber pot and vomit. A human bone...a part of someone's foot...someone had given a human corpse to the pigs...they absolutely needed to get out of there, and quick, before they ended up like this person and what was left of his body.

 

The Hall was dangerous.

 

The Hall was Hell.

 

 

***

 

“I won’t leave.”

 

Rin words were categoric. He sat on the bed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Sousuke had looked for him everywhere until he found him in his room.

 

“It doesn't have to be permanent!” Sousuke was desperate, he could feel the weight of the tiny bone in his pocket as if it was made of lead. He’d rather not reveal it's existence to Rin too soon, not being sure how he would react to his new funding. “We could go now until things get sort out and come back after winter.”

 

“We’re _this_ close to discover what happened to father-”

 

“For God sake Rin your father is dead and he will still be dead when Spring arrives! We all know your father isn't the problem.” Sousuke shouted. “You don't want to leave Haruka because you're in love, and love makes you a stupid human being!”

 

Rin stood up and clenched his fists.  “How _dare_ you!”

 

“We all know it's true! You don't have to pretend in front of me, I know you as if you were my own blood! Whatever happens you won't leave Haruka’s side, even if it meant putting your life on the line. And don't send me that look, I've seen it with my own eyes, I've seen how you wouldn't leave his bed when he was so close of dying!”

 

Rin took a step back. “That was different. I really thought he was dying.”

 

“That's not the point. The point is, you could have died and you knew it and you chose to stay anyway.”

 

“Then why are you here now? You know even death won't make me leave, you know how futile this talk is.”

 

Sousuke sat on Rin's bed, his head falling between his shoulders. “I would be a terrible friend if I weren't trying to save your life. I really want you to understand that, if I’m right here in front of you despite having seen what you feel for Haruka, it's because I've never been so serious in my entire life.”

 

It seemed to calm down Rin’s furry for now. Eventually he unclenched his fists, sat next to Sousuke and took a deep breathe.

 

“Fine. Tell me everything I need to know. What scares you that much?”

 

 

 

It was past lunch time when Sousuke ended his theory.

 

“So you think someone is trying to kill Haru the same way my aunt would have killed that young cook a couple of decades ago? That this had to do with the succession of the tea company, like you thought at the beginning before you find yourself nose to nose with the Beast?” Rin summarised, with a hint of sarcasm.

 

“I totally forgot about my old theories when I...when we faced _It_ , because it wasn't important but the fact that the Beast truly existed does not totally invalidate my guess. Someone could control the Beast and told It to kill.” Sousuke exposed.

 

“You suggest the Beast is someone’s puppy?”

 

“ _Was_.” Sousuke rectified. “It’s dead, It won't come back, ever again.”

 

“But why now? Haru’s parents had been dead for ten years, and Haru had never been threatened before. The killer had ten whole years to finish the job so why...now...Oh no...”

 

Rin suddenly became all pale, and hid his face inside his hands.

 

“Rin? Rin talk to me!”

 

“Is it...my fault again?” Rin muttered in his hands.

 

“What have you done?”

 

“...We...we had this talk about his future and...he kind of told me he had changed his mind about the company since we met up, that we was ready to take the lead next year in spite of what people thought." Rin told him, horrified. "The timing is...nearly perfect...”

 

“But that would mean he told someone else, that this someone tried to murder him afterward....”

 

“Yes, probably, or that someone heard us...but I'm almost certain we were alone in the maze that morning.”

 

The truth remained hard to believe, but now Sousuke was certain the mysterious poisoner lived in the Hall and was one of the people Haru trusted the most. The only people who had stayed after the tragedy always talked so highly about Haruka...could it be fake? A facade to dupe them into thinking they were all loyal to the Nanases?

 

If he recalled his old theories well Goro had been is primal suspect from the start. Could he had poisonned Haru without anyone noticing him inside the Hall? That sounded impossible.

 

Rin bite back a sob and lifted his head. “I understand now why you want to leave, but what do you want me to say? You're asking me to leave Haru alone when he needs me the most.”

 

He had a point and Sousuke knew it. “Listen, I have a plan,” he told him. “We go to Edlington, tell everything about what happened to Officer Kirishima and asked him to send one of his man to the Hall to protect Haruka. You trust him, don’t you?”

 

“I do.” He replied without any hesitation.

 

“Then this is our best option. This is not about solving riddles or playing to be a detective. This is a gamble, and you bet with your life. Here,” Sousuke took the bone out of his pocket. “Look what else I found in the pigs’ latrines this morning.”

 

Rin gasped his terror. “Oh my- is that- oh god it's from someone’s foot!”

 

“See? We're not safe here. We need to leave as soon as possible. And when we're safe we’ll think about who did what and how to stop them. But Rin, you can't save Haruka if you’re dead!”

 

“Who is it?” Rin asked.

 

“I don't know. I may well think about the problem I can't find who could be behind Ama’s murder. This time there is no Beast or mystical creature-”

 

“No, I mean, who this bone belonged to?”

 

He hadn't thought about that. Sousuke had seen the navicular bone as an omen of Death but had forgotten that before being eaten it had belonged to a foot, and the foot had been attached to an ankle, then a leg, belonged to a man or a woman. Now that he studied the bone’s structure it was most probably from a man, rather tall and large. Pigs were known to eat and gnawed even the hardest bones but this one was the exception. The question was, more importantly, how long had the bone been here? A day? A week? A year? Probably not that long since it wasn't that much hidden by the mud. It had to be recent. But no one had disappeared from the manor since their arrival, could this person have been killed before they came in Aberdeen Hall?

 

“Do you know, by any means, if some domestics are missing - them or just their right leg of course.”

 

“Sousuke, there were at least a hundred domestics in the manor when I was a child, of course some people miss!” Rin replied, infuriated. “But now that you mentioned it, I have heard people talking about him but I never saw Goro once since we arrived. And Ren is missing too.”

 

“I saw Goro the night before the hunt and Ren stayed in Treston with his fiancé, Makoto told me. These ones are safe; pigs can't eat and digest an entire human being this large in three days afterall. Any other names?” Sousuke asked him.

 

“I'll ask Haru about this. Since someone tried to poison him we can't know who we can trust or not. I can't believe one of the resident actually tried to kill...I've known all of them for so long...and Ama…” Rin took a deep breathe and sniffed, his eyes landing on the Sakura branches and his hand fin find his rosary. “This is a real nightmare.”

 

“And believers or not we are all trapped in it. We need to act and quickly. What do you think of my plan?”

 

Rin took the bone in his hand and studied him, in fear, for a long minute. “Fine. Let me talk about this with Haru first,” he said. “I have a proposition.”

 

“Which is?”

 

“I'll take Haru with me or I'll stay with him.” Rin gave him the bone. “I won't let him here alone, that's my final word. Happy?”

 

That was far from being the perfect alternative but it seemed fair to Sousuke, and so he nodded silently. The rest of the day went on smoothly, his hearts lighted by the knowledge that, depending on Haruka’s will, it could be their last night in Aberdeen Hall.

 

 

They burnt Ama’s corpse in front of the lake when the sun came down. Rin spoke some words since Father Ryuugazaki was gone. Everyone cried, even Haruka, and Makoto had to rush inside, in tears, when the smoke hit his skin. When only the ashes remained and they all went back inside Sousuke eyed on the other side of the lake a man leaning against the hut’s wall, probably Goro, and wondered if he had cried too.

 

 

***

 

 

 

Rin’s heart was pounding madly as he stood in front of Haru’s door. He probably already knew he was there, standing like an idiot and wondered why he had not entered yet. Truth was Rin doubted Haru would even consider leaving the Hall if not carried out feet first; and yet there was this ache in his belly each time he remembered the very tiny bone in his hand - how could such a small thing be that scary?

 

He couldn't fail, he needed to get Haru out of here.

 

The door creaked when Rin pushed it; contrary to what he had anticipated Haru was watching the lake and the ashes coming from Ama’s cremation from his window.

 

“Fire...it's fascinating...” He breathed when Rin stepped in. “It takes everything away in an instant. Ama, my parents…”

 

“...I'm so sorry you had to relive all this-”

 

“And it's so red...and vivid...the flames were dancing, there were beautiful, just like you.”

 

He looked so absorbed in his contemplation that Rin didn't dare to interrupt. His eyes were fixing the place where Ama had burnt as if the flames were still there.

 

“You know people fear fire. After all, it's what happen when lightning shot a tree - God wrath, you'd like that. But without it our ancestors wouldn't have been able to make tools and evolved during History. It’s a question of perspective, I think, like everything. Don't you think?”

 

“Think what?” Rin repeated, a little bit lost, “that believes, fears and morals change according to our time? That one day something is right and the next it's wrong and those who had done it deserve to be thrown in jail?”

 

“About the fire.” Haru rectified, his eyes leaving the window to fall on Rin. “Do you fear it like all the others?”

 

Rin had known for a long time that Haru had had a particular attraction for red, and even thought it was a part as for why Haru had been interested in him in first place. Apparently being caught in a fire and surviving it hadn't changed this part of him.

 

He joined him next to the window. “I do neither fear nor celebrate it. Fire is just another tool humanity created that will end up killing us, like guns, cigarettes, politics and the church.”

 

Haru chuckled. “You sound a little bit sour. Is humanity so bad? It's not what I've learned in books.”

 

“Books aren't real life, History is only written by winners. Nothing is worth traveling and see the world with your own eyes when you want to know it better.”

 

Haru’s eyes went back on the lake, his arms crossed in front of his chest as if he was trying to protect himself from an invisible evil.

 

“Haru...don’t you want to go and see for yourself what the world really looks like? You know there’s more to see than the Hall’s grey walls…”

 

Haru only hold himself tighter and squinted his eyes, “I...I don’t know. Sometimes I want and the next...I’m too scared to go alone. It’s not like I really need to, anyway,” Haru looked back at him. “I have everything I need here.”

 

“You cannot need what you ignore exist.” Rin argued. “You could come with me, you know. I’ll show you the whole world if you’d want me to.”

 

Haru sighed, which was exactly the opposite reaction Rin tried to get out of him. “And where would we go?” he asked, almost soundly angry.

 

“Anywhere.”

 

“Anywhere?” He repeated. “ _Anywhere?_ We can’t go anywhere. We’re not safe outside of these grey walls you hate so much.”

 

“What are you talking about? Someone just _died_ today, inside of these walls! Tomas almost got _eaten_ by the Beast! For God’s sake Haru someone had tried to _poison_ you!” Rin slipped through carelessness. “There’s isn’t a place in the whole country where we won’t be safer than here!”

 

“Tell that to your friend whose neck ended up around a cord.” Haru muttered.

 

The words turned Rin’s blood into ice as the painful memory resurfaced, leaving him open and vulnerable. Not an instant he had thought Haru would be worried about such things. He had thought he lived in his own world, alone in the manor, unaware of the world outside but what if Haru knew? What if he knew, and chose to remain here with full knowledge of the facts?

 

No, he didn’t have full knowledge - he couldn’t - and Haru’s judgement was unfair. Rin needed to convince him that there was more to see than meet the eye, that there were some very good people outside the Hall, and that if they were careful enough-

 

Lost in his thought Rin hadn’t see Haru coming. He took him in his arms, holding him close to his chest, whispering sweets words and excuses. His voice, soft and calm, worked like wonders in his nerves. His back relaxed, his arms curled around Haru’s waist and he rested his head on his shoulder. Rin took some time for him, paid attention to his breathing and Haru’s rhythm as if there wasn’t anything else in the world that mattered.

 

It felt like a moment lost bliss, a paradise lost in the haze of Scotland, like an oasis in the desert - or maybe like the calm before the storm?

 

“Rin, is that okay if we talk now?”

 

He nodded silently.

 

Haru went on, rather urgently, “Why did you say someone tried to poison me?”

 

Rin gasped when he realized his mistake - of course he had planned to tell him but not like this, not without a little preparation, not splitting out the ugly truth - oh my, what was going into Haru’s head right now, was he thinking about all the people he had been since he was born and tried to figure out which one tried to kill him and killed Ama instead?

 

They sat on the bed and Rin told him, as calmly and gently as he could - but certainly not as precisely as Sousuke would have done - about their theory. To his surprise Haru took the news...rather rationally.

 

“But how? Why did Ama die in the end if I was the target all along?” he wondered.

 

“Do you remember anything from her last visit? Did she touch something you touched? Something in your room, something you shared-”

 

“The tea.” Haru said out of the blue.

 

He stood up and walked to his bathroom, where his tea cups were still resting, waiting for someone to take them to the kitchen - Makoto hadn’t had time yet it seemed. They studied it together when Haru brought it back. On the top of the cup there was a round grey mark.

 

“Not the tea, the cup.” Rin murmured, bemused. “You shared your tea when she visited you.”

 

Haru didn’t nodded nor had anything. His eyes fixed the grey marks intensely.

 

“The trace is only on one side, look, you can only touch it by holding the cup with your right hand.”

 

“I remember I was coughing so much, when I wanted to clear my throat my right hand was usually full of blood so that...I drank the tea with my left hand.”

 

“Who brought the tea?”

 

His legs were shaking, awaiting for the answer.

 

“...Makoto...”

 

For a moment none dared to breathe. It seemed impossible, or a really bad joke. Makoto was Haru’s best friend, they were like brothers, had been raised together, had gone through the harshness of the Hall’s life together...there was no way Makoto could have betrayed Haru.

 

“But maybe someone else made it.” Haru added, his thoughts must have ended to the same conclusion.

 

“The new cook?”

 

“Perhaps?”

 

“Or Georgina.”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Certainly not Tomas since he’s still pretty injured.”

 

“You have a point here.”

 

They remained silent after this. The fact that they were reviewing who could have or not have tried to kill Haru within their close circle turned Rin’s stomach upside down. He still had the hope that they were in a dream, a bad dream and that at any moment he would wake up, naked in Haru’s soft arms, and that they would laugh about it when Rin would told him about his stupid dream about people dying, at a time when they should only be happy to have finally find the other again. They were supposed to be happy. Why was all this tragedy happening when they were supposed to be _happy_?

 

(Rin of course, knew a reason why.)

 

“See, that’s why you can’t stay here.” Rin broke the unbearable silence. “I can’t trust anyone around you, and I can’t linger her any longer. I’ll put Sousuke in danger and he had already done too much for me.”

 

“Then let him go and stay with me.”

 

Rin shook his head. “No, you are coming with me. I made my decision,” he lied, “I refuse to leave you behind when there’s someone out there trying to kill you.”

 

“If someone wants me dead all he or she has to do is go to the hut, take one of our rifles and shot me in the head.” Haru pointed out crudely, which did make Rin want to vomit againt. “What I want to say is that it was supposed to look like an...accidental or natural death, right? That’s what the doctor concluded for Ama.”

 

Rin nodded.

 

“So, there’s no need to worry about me now that I’m feeling better. I would only cook and drink things I have prepared myself. I’ll remain alone until you call the authorities, and I don’t think it will take you long.”

 

“No, Haru you must-”

 

“I can’t leave the place, it will look too suspicion and the killer might try to escape. Think about it, he or she planned my death to make it look like a fulgurant disease, since I survived it there is no reason to think anything weird would happen to me in the near future without making it look pretty suspicion, don’t you agree?”

 

Rin had to admit it made sense, but didn’t like where this conversation was leading, not at all.

 

“If I leave the killer will know we had figured out his plans, he might want to kill more people, the ones who saw right through him,” Haru took his hands into his, “he might want to kill you and your friend. I won’t let that happen.”

 

“I really don’t like where you’re leading me.”

 

“I’ll stay here, and you go to Edlington tomorrow.” Haru announced.

 

“Haru I-”

 

“My mind is set, I won’t leave. You need to go.”

 

Rin felt his eyes burning, he never thought getting shove away by Haru would hurt that much.

 

“Why do you look so sad? You’ll come back, right?” Haru went on, his hand cupping Rin’s cheeks, “There’s nothing keeping you from coming back anymore. And when everything is over, we’ll watch the Sakura tree from the tarn blooming together."

 

Haru kissed the tears flowing on Rin’s cheeks one by one, licked and tasted the salty water until it satisfied him no more. His mouth sucked on Rin’s neck and he bit the sensitive skin tenderly, not harsh enough to leave any mark - that was one of Rin’s important rules, no bruise, no scratch, no love bites of any sorts. Haru kept kissing his neck from his collarbone to his ear, trying to make Rin relax and forget about the gruesome atmosphere surrounding their love affair.

 

“Rin, please, don’t cry. It’s not as bad as it looks.” He said between soft kisses.

 

“How could you be so calm when someone tried to end your life?” Rin couldn’t stop crying, “How do you want me to react when the love of my life almost lost his life when I was at arm reach?”

 

“...! Rin...”

 

“Why should I stop crying!? Tell me!” Rin cried, his fist curled into balls. “I’m tired to see everyone I love being taken away from me!”

 

He crawled into Haru’s wide arms, enveloping him with love and tenderness. Haru hold him tight and caressed his hair slowly, listening to Rin’s sobs. His other hand went under his vest and traveled to his shoulder. Rin’s vest fell on the bed shortly after that without him noticing. Haru wasn’t satisfied with this though; he laid Rin on his bed and put down his suspenders, his mouth travelling on his innerwear and dropped wet kisses as he unbuttoned his long johns. It left Rin breathless. Still recovering from all the bad news he had learned that day, the information that Haru was undressing him rather urgently with feverish hands and mouth didn’t reach his brain until he felt his legs strangling his hips.

 

Haru took his head in both hands, brought it up and crushed their lips together without any kind of warning. His tongue ran on Rin’s parted lips, entered his mouth and tasted it with a ferocity Rin had rarely witnessed, specially in Haru. It felt as he needed him as he needed air. Rin couldn’t close his eyes as he thought about it. There was something a little bit alarming in the idea of being an essential and vital part of another human being but mostly, Rin felt comforted, content and powerful; it burst something hot in his guts that reached his neck and coloured his cheek with vibrant red.

 

They both gasped with Haru broke the kiss, but he leaned in immediately after, not leaving Rin enough time to breathe properly. His hands went in his hair, then down on his side and back. Rin kissed back just eagerly, but somehow the tears kept pouring down his eyes. Perhaps it was the violence, he thought. Of what had happened to him the past few days, of the hunt, the blood, Tomas, Ama, blood and death and despair all over; and then on the other side of the manor there was the most violent contrast, like day and night or ice and fire, on the other side was Haru and his love, their love, just as violent as the tragedies and the deaths. Their attraction had always been brutal, not in the physical sense but they could feel how deeply it possessed them. It was in the way Rin liked to bit on Haru’s skin but couldn’t, how Haru touched him, harshly at time, as if he was scared he would be gone the next morning, it was in the way his eyes burnt when he stared at Rin, and how Rin felt it like ice on his skin. And then there were times like now when Haru caressed his cheek and with his thumb carefully washed the tears away, with his eyes so blue and pure and yet so dark.

 

Rin loved him so violently he thought his heart would burst out of his chest to shout his love.

 

“Rin, I love you too, I love you too. If only you know. I love you too.” Haru kept saying in between kisses. Rin only respond with his hands and mouth, undressing Haru as well until they laid naked under the sheets.

 

They both had their cheeks redden with lust by then, Haru placed his hand in between Rin’s leg and stroke him before he was stopped. Worried eyes met red, asking, pleading for an explanation. Rin was at loss of word, not really knowing how to properly explain what he had in mind this time, so he joined their lips again to push to worry away. Kissing Haru was a drug. Haru was his drug. Every inch of his body was addicted to him; this wasn’t something new but somehow studying Haru’s face at this very moment made him realize it just now.

 

He took his time, a long breathe, and entwined his fingers with Haru’s. “I don’t think it would be enough this time,” he said.

 

Haru’s eyes widened, and Rin could feel his cock twitching against his leg. He leaned close to his ear, “Do you want to do it inside me or me inside you?” He asked very politely, but always so very straightforwardly.

 

“You inside me,” Rin responded, “Is that okay?”

 

“Everything is fine by me as long as it is with you."

 

When they both looked at each other for seconds without moving, perhaps too scared to break that perfect moment or to love the sight of the other they would adored and cherished, Rin realized that there would be a before and an after; that whoever he was, whoever they were, wouldn’t be the same after they united.

 

Haru was hesitant at first. He didn’t know, and Rin knew and so he taught him. It had been so long it hurt, but who cared about the pain when it was with the love of your life? Haru moved very carefully at first, focusing on Rin’s face and his grimace more than his own hips, and it took a hundred of Rin’s reassurance for him to finally letting go. Haru panted in his ear, bit on his auricle as he speeded up. Contrary to what Rin had previously anticipated nothing was running through his mind at this moment. He had imagined he would think of all the others he had had, or perhaps of all the times he had dreamed of Haru doing him, or of the first time they had met and the rest of their firsts along the way, but there was none of it. Just him, Haru and bliss, thrusts and pleasure traveling from his groin to the top of his spine. Haru came quickly inside him and collapsed on top of him, breathless and exhausted but content. From all the things Rin felt at that moment, the most outstanding and overwhelming was probably love. Undeniably.

 

“You okay?” Haru asked, his voice lower than a whisper.

 

“I’m more than okay.”

 

Haru ran his nose on Rin’s cheek. “Did I hurt you?”

 

“Never.” Rin said. His forefinger traveled on Haru’s face and neck. “I’ve never felt something like this before.”

 

“Something like what?”

 

Something like love, he wanted to answer. But his love was so violent it couldn’t reach his lips. It was so violent it scared him. Rin just hugged Haru closer, and rested his head there.

 

Before falling asleep, he heard Haru talking, probably to him.

 

“Promise me we’ll watch the sakura tree bloom in spring together.”

 

Rin hummed.

 

“‘Cause I won’t let you leave me for long, Rin, you understand that?”

 

Rin rolled on his back, looked up to Haru fulling awaken, his body rested and toned, splendid under the moonlight. As if he could.

 

“I do. I’ll be back sooner than you think. We’ll get you out of this hell and in the blink of an eye life will go back to normal.”

 

He brought the back of his hand to Haru’s cheek, Haru hold it with his own and brought it to his mouth, biting his fingers one by one. Rin smiled fondly, and then abandoned his consciousness to sleep.

 

 

***

 

 

When he woke up Haru was lying in his arms. He was still sleeping but not for long; his awakening must have perturbed his sleeping pattern and Rin heard his breathing getting quicker and lighter until Haru stirred and opened his eyes and rolled on his side. He coughed a bit, sending a wave of fear in Rin’s guts.

 

“Water,” he murmured, and got in the bathroom. Rin heard the tap flowing, and Haru coming back a minute later, cursing as he hit his little toe on one of his furniture in the darkness of his room. He kissed his temple and went back to sleep easily, but Rin couldn't.

 

Tomorrow’s day was going to be determined, and he couldn’t let any details slipping through his fingers. Haru’s life depended on him. He needed to tell Sousuke what they had decided, what they had found out - the tea cup, and a link to the possible killer - and most importantly, when they were supposed to act. Going in the middle of the night sounded like a good idea, but Sousuke would probably think it would be too suspicious. They couldn’t afford that if Haru stayed behind.

 

After an hour or so Rin decided having an internal debate with his representation of Sousuke would never resemble the real thing. They had to talk, and rather urgently, so to Hell if it was still the middle of the night, Rin was decided and resolved; he would wake up his friend at all cost.

 

“Haru?” he whispered, but got no response. He must still be perfectly asleep. Rin smiled fondly, thinking about the night they had shared and grabbed his things - with a bit of trouble since the room was pitch black - and left the room leaving no regret behind him.

 

First thing he noticed was how the air got colder on the second floor. The air blew from the holes left by the fire. Rin could the the numerous stars through it, a marvelous sight he thought, but his mind was filled with a more important task at the moment.

 

He hadn’t taken two steps down that someone called his name. Or so he thought...the voice was faint and low, as if it came from someone who hadn’t talked in a long time. He was almost going to ignore it when the voice called him again. Was Haru upset that he left without warning? Rin climbed back, turned towards Haru’s room but the voice called him again, behind him.

 

_Rin...Rin...Rin...my boy…_

 

The voice was faint like a ghost’s whisper, cold enough to ice Rin’s heart and made it stopped from dread and joy. He turned around very slowly, afraid to break the voice if his feet acted according to his will, with precipitation. He would have dropped anything he had been holding at the moment his eyes fell on his silhouette, on the red uniforms with all the medals he had admired so much when he was young, just right there under the moonlight illuminating the burnt corridor as if it was the middle of the day.

 

“Father!” Rin exulted, and from then there wasn’t anything else that mattered. The young, ten years old Rin came back at full speed, his youth and enthusiasm with it. There’s nothing in the world he wanted more than to reach him and hold him in his arms one last time. Even if he knew it couldn’t be true, even if he knew he couldn’t touch a ghost, even if all of this was part of a dream...Rin was ten years old again, and he believed in ghost and in happy endings, and so like a child, he ran to his father.

 

He ran and the floor cracked under his foot. He felt his leg dove into the void. But this time there was no pair of arms to save him. He made a 5 meters’ fall and ended up in his back on the first floor. When he hit the ground the air left his lungs all at once and the pain made him lost consciousness.

 

 

 

 

When he woke up a whole day after his fall Rin cried in pain each time he tried to breath he felt a hundred knife stabbing his lungs. And his leg was worse, a never ending throbbing and deep pain started from his toes to his right knee. He barely heard voices around him, voices that weren’t his father’s and he almost cried. How stupid! How could he...sabotage their plan to save Haru and find Ama’s killer...just for a fucking vision! How mad had he gone?

 

Someone pushed something inside his mouth, from his blurred vision he saw Haru’s blue eyes looking at him, he swallowed weakly and the pain stopped...he felt asleep again...Haru...was he alright?

 

 

It went on for a couple of days like that, until one morning Rin opened his eyes and the mist was gone. The pain, still there but bearable, prevented him from moving a single muscle or to rest properly. Haru was asleep on a chair, looking after him, always.

 

As if they were in sync, Haru opened his eyes the moment Rin’s fell on him. He gave him a his brightest smile, as if he hadn’t seen him in years, as if he wasn’t sure he could look into his eyes ever again, and that smile alone made him forget about his pain.

 

Haru sat on his bed, his hand caressing his cheek.

 

“See?” He said, “I told you I wouldn’t let you leave me for long.”

 

He leaned in and kissed shaped lips.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the moment we all screaaaaaam  
> Next chapter next week :)


	12. XII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts the last 24 hours in the Hall. The ending is coming...I wonder how many of you will guess what truly happened in the Hall...  
> Also, usual warning: all the gore blood death tags are for these last chapters. Also typos.

* * *

# Chapter XII

.

 

Snow started falling a couple of days ago and hadn’t stopped yet, covering the gardens with a 10 centimetres white coat. It’d been ten days since Rin’s fall, ten days that felt like none. Time had stopped the moment Sousuke saw his friend’s body, twisted and immobile under broken wooden laths, barely breathing. For a second the worst case scenario had potted into his head and his vision had gone dark but the sound of Rin, struggling to breath, brought him back to reality.  In the blink of an eye Makoto and his mother had joined them and had brought him to his room where they had undressed him so Sousuke could evaluate his injuries. They were probably a couple of broken ribs, and some must have breached his lungs. His legs had been broken in two places. Haruka had rushed into Rin’s room in total panic, had pushed Sousuke aside to hold Rin in his trembling arm.

 

But things had calmed down the next day when Doctor Stew had reassured them fully. Rin’s life was out of danger. But a lot of question remained unanswered...

 

 

 

Since he had been unable to have a private talk with Rin since his fall - and this all thanks to Haruka, who was literally glued to his bed - Sousuke had had a lot of time to think on his own. On the tenth day his steps brought him to the second floor where Rin met his fate. He knelt in front the the hole : the wooden floor there was damaged by the fire, but also because of years of deterioration due to the corridor being in open air. Snow had fallen on the Nanases’ bedroom as well. No wonder why the floor collapsed when Rin walked in...even a child’s weight would have been enough to break the floor. Still, Sousuke couldn’t fight his thoughts away; why did it have to happen the day before they were supposed to leave? They was no ghost in Sousuke’s world, and he did not believe in coincidence - he refused to.

 

It had been ten days and Sousuke was still persuaded someone had tried to kill Rin.

 

But even he couldn’t think of any rational explanation. Who could have predicted Rin would be there on the second floor, and would have run to the sight of his father? No matter how he looked at it Rin’s behaviour had been too unpredictable to plan a murder attempt. Yet Sousuke wasn’t satisfied with this answer, what was he missing then?

 

He got back on his feet when he heard someone climbing the steps.

 

“Oh! It’s you. Good to see you outside of your room.” He said.

 

Tomas gave him a weak smile, his hand caressing his stump. “I feel guilty for some reason. One man arises when another falls.”

 

“You have nothing to do with Rin’s fall. You, of all the people, shouldn’t feel guilty about anything. I owe you my life.”

 

“And I owe you mine.” Tomas replied.

 

Sousuke smiled sincerely. “I’m happy that you are feeling better.”

 

Deep down Sousuke knew Tomas was just pulling up a comforting face, but his thought were darken as well, by Ama’s murder and the attempt on Haruka’s life. When everyone was concerned for their own safety Tomas feared for his family more than he let it shown. At least with Ren in Treston he had someone less to worry about.

 

“So, what are you doing here?” Sousuke asked.

 

“To see Haru. I can’t find him anywhere, I had hoped to find him in his room.”

 

“I’m afraid you’d have more chance if you stopped by the first floor. He hardly leaves Rin’s side these days.”

 

Tomas smiled deepened when he heard the news. “I won’t disturb them then. And you? What did you search for here?”

 

Sousuke overlooked the corridor. “I was hoping to see Toraichi’s ghost.”

 

“I thought you didn’t believe in ghosts’ stories.”

 

Tomas walked to where Sousuke stood, just in front of the hole Rin made.

 

“Ama...she often told us the corridor was dangerous. How many times had she scolded Ren and Ran when they were young...That night, when Toraichi’s ghost appeared, the night that started everything...if she hadn’t been careful she would have fallen, just like Rin.”

 

The smile was gone, replaced by a look of sorrow and...anger, Sousuke guessed. Tomas left him without adding anything quickly after that. The place brought him back painful memories.

 

Sousuke stared at the hole for long minutes. What if indeed Ama had run into the corridor the night she saw Toraichi instead of collapsing in Haruka’s arms? Would things have been so different? Would Rin have avoided that fall?

 

When he came down Sousuke saw Makoto, his father and Haruka talking at the end of the stairs. That was the perfect opportunity to talk to Rin, alone, at last. Sousuke knocked, no one replied. When he opened the door Rin was sound asleep, his right leg off of the blanket and resting on a chair. Good. There was something that had kept bugging him since doctor Stew mentioned it...Ah, there it was! The thin blue file Rin had kept hidden from him.

 

As he suspected, the files concerned Kaori Nanase and her stay in the Saint James Clinic.

 

“Haru...is that you?”

 

Sousuke turned to him, miserably hiding the files behind his back. “I’m afraid I do not own the pair of blue eyes you adore so much.” He joked.

 

“Yours aren’t that bad…”

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

Rin groaned when he sat on his bed. His right leg was swollen and wrapped in a white tissue to fix the splint that went from his heel to the top of his thigh. His breathing was still heretic, that haven’t changed one bit since he had awaken, a sign his right lung had been badly hurt, more than Sousuke had thought at first.

 

“A little bit better every day actually. I know it sounds crazy but I’m sleeping better, and I feel less tired.”

 

“It’s because someone’s been spoiling you day and night.” Sousuke pointed out, which made Rin pouted adorably. “I have never seen Haruka outside this room since your fall. He really does love you, it seems.”

 

Rin lowered his gaze and smiled shyly. “Yes, you’re right...it’s weird, but I have never felt happier in my whole life. Isn’t it bad? Or selfish? People had died and here I am, just being happy…”

 

If he tried to moderate the goods and evils of his blissfulness in the middle of this chaotic winter, it appeared Rin didn’t have any remorse. Sousuke knew of his facial feature and the tones of his voice, and to him all the negativity that had built its place inside his heart had melted away. Where? He didn’t know, nor even why - even if he guessed Haruka had had something to do with this - and it upseted him. It was probably only misplaced jealousy, that someone other than him had managed to heal Rin’s wounds when he had tried and failed for years; added with the fact that someone else than him had had Gou’s hand when he hadn’t wanted anything more in his life and had given up on her in the end, without pulling a good fight. Sousuke felt things he loved were slowly being pulled away from his grip, and that his hands weren’t responding to his brain; they remained still when he screamed to hold on them, and at the end of the day he stood alone, with unable hands and an empty heart.

 

This theory was far from being his favourite though, so he rationalized his grief into something that would make sense and pleased him. Radical changes weren’t good, for Nature, Earth, Humans...what happened to glass, or a man, when a brutal change of temperature occurred? It broke. Rin’s feelings were the same. They must be.

 

“Be careful with that heart of yours.” He warned him.

 

“I know, you don’t need to tell me.”

 

Rin still wore the rosary around his neck.

 

While his eyes were lost around Rin’s neck, the latest took noticed of what Sousuke was trying to hide from him. “Is that- where did you get these!?” He barked, then tried to get the files back but his leg reminded him of why he was still resting in his bed.

 

“Oh this?” Sousuke proudly opened his findings in front of a powerless Rin, groaning on his bed. “That was something I was hoping to discuss with you. Why on Earth would you hide them from me?”

 

“It has nothing to do with the actual case!” Rin muttered.

 

His eyes were dark red, angry...no, not angry - Rin was furious. His rage bewildered Sousuke, why? There must be something really important in these files to get this kind of reaction out of him.

 

“How do you know? After all, someone had possibly tried to poison Haruka, and your aunt might have done the same in the past. In the end, only Goro saw her body right? What if she was in fact still alive, and living in the Saint James Clinic?”

 

“Don’t say nonsense, my aunt is dead!”

 

“Or worse, what if she was still living on the second floor in the burnt wing?” Sousuke went on, knowing perfectly his claims were absurds but merely trying to provoke Rin until he split out the truth.

 

“It can’t be! We’ve been- I mean, I would have heard someone walking on the floor just above my room, don’t you think?”

 

“‘We’ve been?’” Sousuke pressed on.

 

“It’s not what I said.”

 

“Yes it is.”

 

“Check your earing, you’re getting old.” Rin pestered.

 

“Rin, stop struggling. I know you’re hiding something from me and we’re not in a position where we can afford that. There’s still a killer walking freely inside the manor, and I’m pretty sure someone tried to kill you with that fall.”

 

Rin gasped, but didn’t fight back.

 

“Whatever you know, even if you think it’s not related, please tell me.”

 

“Did you go to Edlington while I was unconscious?” Rin asked out of the blue.

 

Sousuke shook his head. “How could I let you when your fate was still uncertain? You are more important to me than any of the resident of this manor.”

 

Rin seemed to struggle with his own feelings, words wouldn’t come out of his lips. Sousuke saw him open his mouth, his eyes scanning the room to find some solace, in vain. Tears slowly ran down Rin’s cheeks when he finally surrendered. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed, “I’m so sorry. I should have never brought you there. To think I only wanted to see Haru after all this time.”

 

Sousuke signed, closed the files and sat next to Rin to console him. He patted his back. “Well, looks like you did the right thing considering how things are doing for you two.”

 

He offered a smile that Rin never sent back. He hid his face inside the palm of his hands instead.

 

“I think we’d figured out how they tried to poison Haru.” Rin said gravely.

 

He told him about the cup and the grey spot where the poison had been.

 

“Haru only survived because of a twist of fate. A very few dose of poison must have spread out inside the cup and caused his symptoms.”

 

“Are you sure about that?” Sousuke asked.

 

Rin nodded, “He made his little investigation. Makoto brought him the tea, Nagisa made it, and Georgina took care of the crockery.”

 

“So the three of them had the opportunity to poison the cup…”

 

“We agree that Haru would stay with me most of his time - don’t tell anyone but he sleeps there as well - until he finds out something more precise but I...we...I kind of forget to tell you. You have been right from the start, love makes me stupid.”

 

Sousuke sighed and squatted down next to Rin’s bed. “It’s alright. I’m just happy that both of you are safe. But next time try to be a little bit less troublesome. And remember you are not alone, I still count a bit, don’t I?”

 

Rin gave him one of his best smile, “Of course, you count. I’m sorry. Really, I am.”

 

“Sorry about what?”

 

Sousuke jumped; once again Haruka had appeared out of nowhere. He walked hastily toward Rin and sat on the other side of the bed, holding his hand.

 

“Nothing you have to worry about,” Rin reassured him. “It’s only between him and me.”

 

 

The three of them confront their findings and opinions about what to do next; Rin and Sousuke insisted on going to Edlington to warn Officer KIrishima when Haruka sounded more distant, arguing we might need more time to gather more clues. But time was flying, and one more day spent here could be one day too many. Since Rin couldn’t move it was decided one would go to the city while the other would look after Rin. It wasn’t difficult to decide who would do what.

 

“Before going I needed to check one or two things,” Sousuke announced as he left the lovebirds alone. He showed the files he stole from Rin as he passed to door. “I’ll be off as soon those are done being read.”

 

“Sousuke! You…”

 

But it was already too late and the door had been shut tight behind him. Rin curled his fist, swearing; Haru took it in his hands and caressed his cheek before kissing it gently.

 

“What’s with the files?” He asked.

 

“...Nothing. Come here.”

 

Rin grabbed Haru by the collar and kissed him on the lips. They brushed past each others until Haru’s tongue had the urge to taste Rin’s. He opened his mouth and nibbled on Rin’s lower lip, and when Rin moaned Haru took the opportunity to explore his mouth and invaded it. But soon he stopped; Rin was breathless.

 

“You’re not doing any better, are you?”

 

Rin’s cheeks were hot but still, despite his arousal there was nothing he could do if every bit of effort cost him his breath. Every inch of his body ached to touch and being touched and yet there wasn’t anything he could do. Rin felt trapped by his own body and each time Haru lied on the bed next to him he cursed his own foolishness. If only he hadn’t run like an idiot at the sight of his father, he wouldn’t have suffered those injuries, wouldn’t have risk Sousuke and Haru’s life by making them staying here, and he would have been able to love Haru every day and every night instead of just staying there, immobile, at his mercy.

 

“It’s okay. We have time. We have all the time we want.” Haru hushed his frustration with a kiss on his forehead. He stood up to look for something hidden behind the armchair and came back to the bed, with a violin in his hands.

 

“How about I play you something?”

 

Rin smiled, caressed his side with his left hand. “Anything you want.” He murmured.

 

“Anyway _you_ want.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

The bow froze in mid air. Rin and Haru locked their gazes, without blinking, until Rin’s breathing calm down completely.

 

“I love you.” Rin said.

 

Haru didn’t reply; instead he moved the bow again, and started to play.

 

 

***

 

 

In the smoking room Sousuke could hear someone playing the violin - it was, again, Rin’s favourite piece, so he concluded Haru must have played for him. It was notified in the files that his mother, Kaori Nanase, had been gifted with this natural talent too, as well as many others. The files he stole from Rin weren’t just about Saint James Clinic, there were also some random official documents, a free piece of paper with tons of dates and random names, some press cuttings and a couple of pictures. One of the things, above all, who unsettled him was the lack of first page. It had been torn, by who? Rin? Or someone at the police station? Or even before?

 

The psychiatrist’s report about their first interview was filled with tons of details about the woman - well, she was sixteen at that time so maybe she could be still called a girl. She had mastered the piano, the violin and the flute at young age, knew everything about good manners and how to be a perfect wife. But from the tone of the interview Sousuke got the feeling it was far from being her sole abilities. There was a picture next to the interview, a black and white small portrait of an unsmiling but still beautiful young woman, with her face circled in red and the word ‘ _MURDERER_ ’ written in capital letters.

 

That wasn’t all.

 

Kaori only stayed in Saint James Clinic for ten months. The only comments on her files were all positives : excellent resident, very obedient, regretted her sins, lovely with all the supervisors...One of the report was circled in red, and a date was written - 3rd of July - with a name, Katarina, written above.

 

She left the Clinic a couple of day after that, on the 6th of July exactly, and the reports stated that she and her baby returned home safely, without further information.

 

Sousuke’s eyes stopped on the word for some time before he realized what it implied. Did it meant that...Haruka was born in Saint James Clinic?

 

Sousuke frowned deepen. It was clearly written on the second page, Kaori _Matsuoka_ entered the asylum and she came home ten months later, along with her baby Haruka _Nanase._ What did it mean?

The next page was blank paper with random dates and facts, which in the end didn’t look so random at all. Two caught Sousuke’s interest.

 

_Kaori and Asou marriage - February ~~1868~~ 1869 ~~~~_

_Katarina’s Murder - 3rd of July 1868_

 

Then came Kaori and Asou Nanase marriage certificate, with the date circled in the same red. It clearly looked as if the 9 had been replaced by an 8...why? How?

 

Why, the reason was obvious, and his name was Haruka Nanase.

 

Sousuke took the picture at the end of the document he had, there was no one he recognized at first but there was a note, written behind it, ‘ _The Nanase family’_ it said. Sousuke studied all the men faces he could see on this picture, there were at least five of them, and two older women. That’s when he noticed.

 

He stood up and took the picture in the smoking room, where Haruka’s father and his friends were celebrating their first missions in India, he then took the first picture of baby Haruka, and compared all of the faces.

 

The dimple.

 

They all had a dimple on these pictures on the right cheek.

 

That Haruka had not.

 

“He’s not...he’s not Nanase’s son…” Sousuke breathed.

 

That was what had felt wrong from the very start, in the picture. His eyes had spotted the dimple but his brain hadn’t made the connexion until now. Haruka was born before Kaori and Asou got married, and the marriage certificate had been altered to make it look like he was his son. Sousuke suspected her stay at the Saint James Clinic was a well-kept secret, or had been when she had been alive to protect her and her son.

 

There was no mention of her pregnancy or of any violence she might have suffered from but it did make sense, if the pregnancy was a secret the clinic wanted to hide they wouldn’t talk about it in the reports!

 

And then, the last question remained; who was Katarina? Was she really murdered? And where? At the Clinic?

 

Sousuke read the last document left for him. It was an article of an old newspaper, talking about the young cook who died in the manor. More exactly, the article talked about his mother who used to be a nurse and refuted the police and the doctor’s theory, calling Kaori Matsuoka a witch. Her name was Katarina Ivlanovich. Soon after the case was closed, she had gone mad and ended in Saint James Clinic.

 

“That’s...impossible…”

 

Sousuke couldn’t believe it. He looked back at Kaori’s portrait, the word ‘ _MURDERER’_ , the article about Katarina and the timing...she got out three days after Katarina was killed, as if...as if...as if she had accomplished her task and left, just like that.

 

…It was, indeed, what the person who had used the red pen wanted him to think.

 

There was no proof of Katarina’s actual murder. It could have been something made up. Things weren’t that complicated concerning Haruka and his father. Asou Nanase could simply not be Haruka’s father, which also lead the next question : who was Haruka’s real father? Was it the reason Rin didn’t want him to find this file? Or was it because of Katarina’s murder? Did he make the annotation? He had to ask him, or ask the police, because contrary to what he had claimed this was a bomb, and could change the face of the whole cases they had been working on since they arrived at the Hall.

 

How dare Rin hide it from him! What was he thinking? This was so important! He couldn’t possibly think it wasn’t, Rin was anything but stupid, he was clever, so damn clever...no, he had done it on purpose, because he didn’t trust Sousuke enough; that was the only explanation, and it hurt, really, it did.

 

 

The further he went, the deepest the secret laid and the ugliest they turned out, to the point where Sousuke wondered if he would ever see the end of it.

 

 

***

 

 

Nagisa had never felt more depressed and lonely than at this very moment, alone in his kitchen, struggling to start the fire of his oven. Winter hadn’t started yet and there wasn’t enough wood already. The Manor was too big and too empty, and with the holes on the second floor, the wall that never got repaired, each winters that passed left their traces on people, on bodies, and it was no wonder why Haru kept falling ill since he was the sole person still living on the second floor.

 

“Makoto? Makoto???” Nagisa shouted in the corridor between the kitchen and the ceiling. He often found him here in the past since his office was there, with the household dining room, but these days the corridors were empty. The Hall was slowly losing its soul, and soon it would lose its cook. Nagisa decided it was enough. As soon as it would stop snowing, he would pick a horse to Edlington, remained with Father Ryuugazaki until he got enough money to go back to Edinburgh in one piece.

 

“Makoto? Could you bring me some wood?” He called again, in the main hall this time, but again no one replied.

 

By chance, Ran was going down the stairs with Rin’s dirty sheets in her arms. Nagisa ran to help her, and took the opportunity to ask where her brother was hiding. She told him she saw him with their father but wasn’t sure where they went after that. Nagisa chose to look in the garden first.

 

He walked by the maze and shouted their names,  in vain. They weren’t in the East part of the Manor, nor at the North. Nagisa walked down the small alley going to the lake hastily, his body already freezing to death. He stopped under the Sakura tree; from there he could see a thin layer of glass covering the water. Temperature had dropped dramatically these days.

 

He really needed to get away from here.

 

There was smoke coming from the hut’s chimney. Good, Nagisa thought, maybe Goro was there, and he could tell him where to find wood - he would even help him caring it to the kitchen if he asked nicely. Nagisa wasn’t scared of Goro, well, not anymore; they didn’t talk much but in five years he had always had a good impression on him. It was not bad to go visit him even with the cold, that would give him the opportunity to say goodbye.

 

Inside the hut there was light, but no living soul in sight.

 

“Goro?” Nagisa tried after knocking for the fourth time. He pouted, and kicked the door out of frustration.

 

To his bemusement, the door opened on its own.

 

Inside there was definitely someone - there was a cup of tea, half finished, on the table - but the hut was empty. Nagisa looked everywhere, behind the sofa, inside the cupboard, under the table until his eyes fell on the carpet. Its tip had been curled. Nagisa raised the tip and found what he was looking for : there was a hidden trap inside the hut! Who would have guessed? As he glued his ear to the floor he definitely heard two men talking underneath. They must have gone there!

 

Nagisa opened the trap and advanced in the dark, took the steps one by one very carefully, until he couldn’t.

 

The strong smell of blood unsettled his balance and almost made him puke.

 

That’s how he missed one step and fell on the floor a couple of meter lower. His face was in contact with a hot liquid. The whispers he had heard before falling had ceased altogether.

When he opened his eyes, they were welcome by red, all over the floor. Blood. It was blood, on his face, on his hands, on his clothes.

 

“...Shit! shit shit…” he heard one man whispered.

 

“No, you don’t- I won’t let you!” another one added.

 

Nagisa lifted his head to see who was talking, but his eyes halted on the animal lying on the floor in front of him. Its head was covered with grey scales, there were something like the elephants horns Goro had once shown him on its forehead. The eyeballs were empty. Behind it, there were glassed vases filled with yellow fireflies.

 

“What choice do we have? He had seen now!” the first man whispered, a little bit louder.

 

What was this place? What were they talking about? What was this horrible animal and, where did all the blood come from?

 

Nagisa just wanted some wood. He wanted to get out of here. He tried to get on his feet but his shoes slipped due to the blood and he fell again. His clothes were soaking. The blood got everywhere; in his mouth, in his noise, in his eyes, in his lungs. It was a real nightmare.

 

“Please...please don’t do it!” He heard, coming from one of the man. He couldn’t see their faces, and was too panicked to recognize their voice. What were they talking about? What were they about to do?

 

“We have no choice. I’m so sorry, I never wanted things to go that way...Forgive me, Nagisa.”

 

Nagisa saw light when he lifted his head one last time, the light of a candle flame reflecting on a knife’s blade. He only had time to scream once before he was stabbed to death.

 

 

***

 

 

Sousuke had started on his third whiskey when Ran came to him, announcing dinner was ready. He was still bewildered by what he had read and the fact that Rin had known for some time, and hid it from him. He couldn’t touched his food. His mind was busy trying to rethought the entire story with a new perspective. To obtain the Nanase’s Tea Company one man, probably Russell Robinson, ordered his brother in law - Goro Sasabe -  to murder Asou Nanase’s only descendant after the Beast devoured his parents. But due to his love for Haruka, Goro couldn’t end the poor child’s life and took care of him from that part, all the while making sure he would keep his hands out of the company. Things went as planned until Rin came back and changed Haruka’s mind about his future, and a couple of days after his reversal someone - Goro or an accomplice - tried to kill Haruka, again, but failed. It was prudent to imagine that this person would try to attempt on Haruka’s life until his death occurred.

 

But what happened now that Haruka was not Asou’s son? Could he still claim any right to the company ownership?

 

Probably not.

 

Which meant there was no need to harm his life.

 

Which also meant, as he had suspected, that no one knew of this little detail except for him and, possibly, Rin and the man with the red pen. He needed to find that man.

 

There was no choice but to go to Edlington as soon as possible, found who Haruka’s father really was and saved him from a unnecessary murder - and to learn more about this Katarina. Rin had been right at some point, this fact didn’t change much to what had happened in the past, but it could be enough to insure Haruka’s safety from now. How would Haruka take the news? He clearly had no idea. He had never been keen of his parents but still, when your whole life turned out to be a lie, one must at least felt betrayed.

 

Sousuke knocked on the Rin’s door in the middle of the night; Haruka opened the door, in his pyjama, with a finger on his lips. Rin was sleeping like a baby. He had such a bad timing.

 

“There is really something important I need to tell him,” he told Haruka, all the while studying his face; gosh he didn’t resemble his father at all, how did he miss that? How could anyone who had known Asou when he was alive have missed that? “Could you ask for me as soon as he wakes up? I’ll go to Edlington after our talk.”

 

Haruka agreed, “Is there anything else?” he asked.

 

“I’m...I still have guilty conscience for leaving you two alone. I know you’ll protect each other but if you’re not there, or if something happens to you-”

 

“Nothing will happen to me.”

 

“Still, if it does,” Sousuke insisted, “I wonder what will happen to Rin. He can’t leave his bed, how is he going to defend himself?”

 

“There’s a knife and a gun hidden under his pillow.” Sousuke gasped, how- “Don’t worry about Rin, I won’t let anyone let a finger on him. They’ll have to kill me first.”

 

Sousuke strangely trusted him on that point. He left immediately after that, towards his last goal before coming back to his room, before leaving this place at first hour in the morning.

 

He needed to get the ring back.

 

Sousuke had already collected a net and a broom, that he combined to be able to reach the bottom of the lake without getting himself into - he hoped at least, the water was freezing. How stupid of him! To throw the ring in the lake on a whim...first, it had been prohibitively expensive, and most importantly Sousuke refused to let a proof of his love for Gou rot here, in the Aberdeen Hal all of the places. There were too much deaths for something connected to her to stay here. Gou would remain pure of the world's worst ways, he’d make sure of that.

 

Sousuke braved the cold and once he found his coat he discreetly opened the main gate and walked to Goro’s hut. The night was calm and clear, it had stopped snowing. The moon illuminated the water’s surface perfectly, with a little bit of help he would see exactly where the ring had ended.

 

Sousuke knocked on the door. “Hello? Mind if I borrow your embarkation?” He asked, doubting anyone would reply - he wouldn’t have taken ‘no’ for an answer anyway. No one opened the door, as expected. Sousuke went straight to the small boat and untangled the rope holding it back on solid ground before getting in.

 

He navigated until the spotted something shining under the surface. It had been easier than expected. Sousuke plunged the net into the still water and managed after a few tries to get something back on the boat.

 

Except it was not his ring. It was a skull with a hole at the back of its head.

 

“What the…?”

 

Sousuke thought he shouldn’t be surprise by now but still, the sight of a dead body always made him shiver in fright. He forgot about his ring and rowed to the shore, trying to figure out who the skull belonged to - mostly trying to hush his internal voice, yelling at him he already knew, that there was no mistake possible. Both had seen it, Ama and Rin, they had seen his ghost and the hole in its head and the blood coming out of his shako. Toraichi...what was Toraichi’s skull doing in the middle of the lake?

 

Of course. Haruka had seen him after his parents’ murder. He heard him fought with Goro. And now Sousuke just found his skull in front of the hut.

 

This meant-

 

Sousuke didn’t hear it coming, he only felt a great pain in the back of his neck and then cold, freezing water on his face, his neck, his torso and arms, as he sank at the bottom of the lake.

 

At this point, Sousuke thought it was the end. That he had bet and lost.

 

He was drowning, and all his findings would die with him; that Haruka was not Asou’s son, that Goro had killed Toraichi, no one would ever know...the facts would lingered forever with him at the bottom of the lake, just like his love for Gou and the ring…

 

The ring…

 

Sousuke opened his eyes. The cold ached more than a thousand needles on his skin but pain meant life, and he was alive, and he still had so many things to say!

 

He resurfaced in the middle of the lake only to find himself facing the small boat, coming his way. His attacker was coming back to finish the task. In panic, Sousuke tried to swim faster and far away, but what was the point? The boat moved way faster, and even if he reached the shore he was unarmed, frozen to death and disoriented. That was it, then; images of the Beast came to his mind. He could have died so many times since he put a foot in Aberdeen Hall, but to all the ways he had come into, he never thought that Gou’s ring would be the cause of his death. If only he hadn’t…

 

“Sir Yamazaki! Take my hand, I beg you!”

 

This voice...he had heard it somewhere…

 

“I know you’re not a believer, but for God’s sake! Take my hand!”

 

Sousuke turned around to face his attacker. The white collar and the round spectacles left no doubt; Father Ryuugazaki had come back and the most unexpected timing.

 

“Please, you’re going to die if you stay here!”

 

For some reason, Sousuke got the feeling the priest couldn’t harm any human being and he chose to trust him. He took his hand and landed safely on the small boat. The cold air froze his wet clothes, the pain almost made him pass out. The priest took off his clothes and gave him his coat.

 

“Wh-wh-at a-a-re you do-do-doing here?” He asked. His teeth were chattering.

 

“Later. We need to make sure you’re safe. We could talk after that if you would.”

 

Sousuke followed the priest without a second thought.

 

  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye bye poor Nagisa, who had done nothing wrong and welcome back Rei ! Just in time to save Sousuke...  
> The two of them have a lot to talk about, but I'll keep that for next chapter haha.
> 
> Btw I'm really excited for s3. I'll try to finish posting the Beast before s3 airs. So we can start the summer with good vibes !


	13. XIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe we're almost reaching the end of this adventure.  
> (Also I certainly wrote this after playing the Nonary Games)
> 
> WARNING for blood/violence

* * *

# Chapter XIII

.

 

A couple of minutes later Sousuke was safe in his room with new clothes and a hot beverage. It was a miracle no one had heard them passing the main hall.

 

“I saw someone attacking you from behind,” Father Ryuugazaki started, “But I was too far away to catch them.”

 

“Hopefully! They could have killed you if you had been there. But what were you doing in the Hall in the middle of the night?” Sousuke asked. “Not that I mind, without you I’ll be dead.”

 

Father Ryuugazaki took a deep breath and suddenly he looked so much older. His shoulder sank, suddenly there were wrinkles in the corners of his eyes, purple circles under; his skin turned white and his lips red. It looked like the man from the lake had been replaced by another in the blink of a eye.

 

“I know you would want to know the truth more than anyone else, but I need to warn you. My tale might not be very pleasant to your ears yet it needs to be told. Are you ready?”

 

Sousuke nodded, his stomach aching with anxiety, excitement, and dread.

 

“When I returned to Edlington I closely followed the search in the woods lead by the Officer. After a few days of intense searching they came to a couple of conclusion. One, they didn’t find the Beast’s corpse, but only shattered part of It: a horn, Its jaw, a leg…”

 

Sousuke hold his breath. He felt like something terrible was about to happen, to leave the priest’s mouth, and somehow he sensed he would never be ready for it.

 

“Second, they also found metallic rods and a huge dark tissue covered with blood with the remaining.” The priest went on.

 

It made no sense. It definitely made no sense - it couldn’t.

 

“Finally they found a dead body buried next to where the Beast had been killed.”

 

Sousuke almost choke. “A dead body? Who?”

 

“They don’t know. His whole face had been blown up, just as if he had _‘been fired by a very power rifle’_ , as Officer Kirishima stated when he saw the body. No disparition hadn’t been reported yet so we still don’t know who this man might be.”

 

A rifle’s bullet, right in the middle of the head.

 

The Duke’s back prompted into his head, his rifle, ready to strike at his hand, and then…

 

_*Bang*_

 

...Oh no!

 

Father Ryuugazaki carried on as he saw Sousuke’s face decomposed in front of his eyes.

 

“They feared that what you saw, what they saw, was fake. That the ‘Beast’ never really existed, and that if It did, It was not what you all faced that night. That It was a construction made by man, moved by a man, and that when the Duke shot what you all thought was the Beast he killed the man inside It, and that his accomplice buried the body.”

 

“Bu-but I saw It!” Sousuke yelled. His hands were trembling. “I saw It, I felt Its breath on my neck, I saw Its eyes, I saw It coming from me!”

 

“They know, that’s why they wanted to talk to you as soon as possible, but someone told the Officer you were too worried about your friend’s fate to leave the Hall at this moment.”

 

“Who told them that?!” Sousuke shouted, losing his temper.

 

“I don’t know, you’ll have to ask them yourself. You need to calm down, Sir Yamazaki. I don’t want the people of this manor to know I am here. I came to find out if I could gather some clues about the Beast, and my feet brought me to the hut...that’s where I found you.”

 

Sousuke wanted to cry. He recalled all the minutes, the seconds he had passed in the woods during the hunt. He recalled all the details, he dreamed of the Beast at night, It was everywhere when he closed his eyes...how dare they say It wasn’t real? That It was just a giant puppet made of steel and articulated flesh, manipulated by a man? It could not! It didn’t make any sense. How about Tomas’s arm then? Ha! What would they say about it? That the man inside the Beast mutilated him? But Tomas would have seen it was a trickery!

 

“Whatever happened here, I had a feeling there was still a demon living in this Hall.” Father Ryuugazaki took back his coat and walked to the door. “It appeared my guesses were right, unfortunately. Healing the poor maiden wasn’t enough.”

 

“She died, did you know?”

 

The news seemed to surprise and sadden him deeply, but it only reinforced his will. “I won’t leave this place until I’m sure I’ve done everything I could to help its occupants, but I’m afraid my person alone won’t be enough. We must go and warm Officer Kirishima about what happened. He’ll send us trustworthy men until we untangle this mess.”

 

“I can’t leave my friend Rin alone, you’ll have to go back to Edlington without me.” Sousuke warmed him.

 

“I figured you’d say that. I’d like to go back to the hut to pursue my investigation, would you accept to escort me?” The priest proposed. “I have to admit I’ll feel safer with someone of your caliber around.”

 

Sousuke accepted, and remembered then what he had found at the depth of the lake. “We might need to investigate the lake once more. I found another cadaver in the lake. A skull, that might have been there for a couple of years.”

 

Father Ryuugazaki cupped his chin, thoughtful. “That means we have two dead bodies.”

 

“Three if you count Ama. Three dead bodies linked to a single place.”

 

Father Ryuugazaki offered Sousuke a coat. “Shall we go? The quicker, the better.”

 

 

The moon was slowly disappearing as the hours went by. It was around four o’clock, they had to hurry before someone woke up and caught them, with a giant fishing net Father Ryuugazaki had stolen from the hut, in the middle of the lake. After a few attempts Sousuke miraculously found his ring back - he cried of happiness, which did not please the priest in the least - but there was no body to be found yet. It might be difficult though; if it was really Toraichi then his body must have been emerged in the water for ten years or so. Dislocated bones were hard to catch with such big meshes.

 

Both men remained silent as a tomb as they proceeded. None wanted to speak, for the truth was too hard to share. Putting words on it would make it real, in Sousuke’s mind, that’s why he couldn’t - wouldn’t - open his mouth, and why he absentmindedly threw the fishing net in the water each time it came back empty.

 

His last try was successful.

 

“I might need some help,” he told the priest.

 

To his greatest surprise the priest was a very well built man as well, his strength rivaling with his own. After a couple of pulls they fished a body that they laid on the small boat. They covered their noses when the smell reached them.

 

“...”

 

“...You spoke about a skull, didn’t you?” Father Ryuugazaki said.

 

Sousuke was speechless. “...I don’t understand. It shouldn’t have a head.”

 

Plus, this body couldn’t have been in the water for ten years - only for a month at the most. The flesh had been deteriorated by time and water and small fishes but it was indeed a full corpse.

 

Wait, not full, it was missing a leg - the right leg.

 

“Could you take a look at the face?” The priest urged him.

 

Sousuke’s eyes left the corpse’s leg to analyse its upper part. The sight and smell already made him want to puke, but the face, or what remained of it, it was just too much for him. Too much atrocity, too much information, too much rage and anger towards himself. How could this be...how could this be possible?

 

The face was half crushed on its left side, half of the skull was missing.

 

It could only be one man. It could only be Goro Sasabe, the game keeper.

 

“Impossible…” Sousuke breathed, “I saw him just before the hunt....”

 

“Water deteriorates bodies faster. Are you certain it must have been emerged for a month?” Father Ryuugazaki asked.

 

Sousuke was positive. Of course he knew how water damaged dead bodies, but Goro couldn’t have been there for less than two week, that was purely impossible. Another thing that matched with this finding was the navicular bone he had found in the pigs’ latrines. It obviously belonged to Goro as well.

 

 

“I think I should check my sight.” Sousuke said with irony. “It seemed two things I was certain of having seen precisely were in fact fake.”

 

“You suspect the man you saw before the hunt was someone else, disguised, to make you think you were talking to Goro?”

 

“It must be. I was the only one not knowing who Goro was, so it was easier to lure me. But why, and who could have…”

 

He couldn’t finish his ask. The question was too painful. Because somehow, he knew. He knew that, the people behind Goro’s death had been very careful not to reveal his absence, even went as far as dressing just like him, to maintain the illusion of his presence, to cover his death. There were people who had claimed to see him when he was, in fact, already dead; and Sousuke could think of at least two persons who had done so since they arrived at the Hall.

 

Sousuke withdrew in his shell while they came back to solid ground. Father Ryuugazaki insisted to check the hut before leaving for Edlington, and Sousuke obliged. He guarded the door, his eyes observing the horizon or anything that could betray someone’s presence. Now that Goro’s body had been found, everything he thought he knew about the place needed a entire rethink. Why him? Did it have to do with the Nanases’ murders, or with Toriachi’s? With him dead, there was no possibility of ever knowing the truth about these affairs…

 

That’s when it appeared, clear as the moon’s reflection on the surface of the lake. Someone silenced Goro for what he knew about the murders.

 

“Yamazaki, could you lend me a hand please?”

 

The priest was on all four in front of a hidden trap. Sousuke closed the door behind him and put a chair so that it remained locked. They took a small lantern that was on the table and climbed down the narrow steps leading to the underground. Their feet splashed when they hit the ground.

 

“Blood,” Sousuke murmured. The smell intoxicated the area.

 

“And death.” The priest added. He knelt in front of a body he found against the wall. Sousuke, devastated, contemplated the cook’s pale face distorted with fear and horror. The priest closed his eyes, and murmured a few words.

 

“They didn’t even take the trouble to hide him!” Sousuke remarked, scandalized.

 

“How long do you think this poor soul had been dead?”

 

Sousuke, reluctantly, tested Nagisa’s arms and legs to evaluate the rigidity. “I’d say no more than twelve hours,” he concluded, horrified, realizing Nagisa had been killed earlier that day.

 

“Why would someone want to harm this man?” He wondered aloud. Nagisa was a ray of sunshine in the sinistre Scotland sky, he knew nothing of what happened ten years ago; he had no information to reveal.

 

Father Ryuugazaki had gone ahead, exploring the underground as Sousuke was stuck by the cook’s side, as if he was waiting for a sign of life, a last twist of fate, anything that could undo what death had done.

 

“I think I might have found an answer.” He faintly heard the priest’s voice, coming from the back of the cave. “You might want to see it. Or perhaps not. Prepare yourself if you do join me.”

 

Sousuke felt his legs working on their own. He didn’t know what he wanted anymore. He thought he had only been searching for the truth, from the moment he had set a foot in Aberdeen’s Hall to this day when he had read Kaori Nanase’s files. Before tonight he still had hope. Before tonight he had faith, and thought he had grasped most of what had happened ten years ago. He was confident about his own deducting skills, he was so sure he was about to unveil the truth-

 

Sousuke halted in front of It. That was It. He would recognized Its face in the dark. The Beast’s head, or at least what remained of It, was put on a small table at the very end of the alley. Father Ryuugazaki was touching it without hesitation, removing the grey scales from the bones structure underneath.

 

“Threads...Looks like someone tied the dead skin, like stitches. Hold the lantern for me.”

 

With a small pair of scissors he kept under his robe Father Ryuugazaki cut the threads covering the Beast head. All the portion of skin fell on the ground. Sousuke took one piece, no larger than his hand.

 

“Snakes’ skin…” He whispered.

 

“Probably. How many did they need to cover this head? Two or three at the most?” The priest wondered.

 

“So they just flayed a couple of snakes and sewed the part together to cover this animal’s skull?”

 

It took him some time to dare to look at the Beast’s eyes again. After a close glance, Sousuke realized the bones structures were most likely a feline’s one than a wolf, what he had first thought as the Beast had stood centimeters away from his face. And the white horns on each side of Its head were in fact elephants’ tusks.

 

How could he have been such a fool? The Beast had never existed; It had always been, from the start, an invention made by men.

 

“It was dark, you were stressed and felt in great danger,” Father Ryuugazaki said with a hand comforting him on his shoulder, “No one would blame you about what happened in the woods.”

 

Father Ryuugazaki took the head with him and they went back to the surface very prudently in case someone would wait for them at the end of the stairs. To their great relief, the hut was still empty and the chair hadn’t moved from its place.

 

As Sousuke walked to the exit he noticed from the corner of his eyes a photograph. It was Goro and Ama together in front of the hut. That’s where he saw his mistake. The scar was on the left side, not on the right. If only he had paid more attention...He could have figured it out from the start.

 

“I’ll leave by the woods and go straight to the police station. You go back inside and do _nothing_ until reinforcement arrives.” Father Ryuugazaki whispered when they parted outside the hut. “I’ll come back before dawn.”

 

It meant Sousuke had to spend a couple of hours surrounded by killers and pretended he didn’t know.

 

Hopefully, everyone was supposed to be fast asleep. It left him a chance.

 

 

He went back in his room but didn’t feel like sleeping at all. It was just a bad dream after all, what was the point of falling asleep in his own dream? Would he wake up if he did? This whole nightmare was giving him the worst headache of his life. Goro was dead. Someone had killed him and had used a lot energy to make them believe he was still alive. But why? And, he really meant, why? Why him? Sousuke felt so betrayed. He trusted him more than anyone in the Hall..why?

 

_Why why why why why._

 

He needed to have a serious talk with Tomas before the police arrived.

 

 

***

 

Sousuke wandered in the empty corridors of the manor. He started in the second floor, where the fresh air of the night cleared his thoughts. If there was no Beast, there were probably no ghosts as well. Then what did Rin and Ama see, or more exactly, who? Did someone disguise as Toraichi? But how then? It was impossible to go to this part of the manor without falling to a certain death, like Rin’s fall had proven.

 

He almost knocked on Haruka’s door, but it was a waste of time. Haruka was with Rin, that he was sure of, and it was in fact the only thing reassuring him. At least, Rin was safe as long as Haruka stayed alongside with him.

 

He then went down to the first floor, in front of Ama’s door. He could still see her, dead, lying on her bed with her eyes reddened by the poison. She had paid with her life to save Haruka’s...Her room was tidy, as he remembered it to be. Yet Sousuke had always wondered what lie inside the luxury chest on her dressing table. He took Ama’s necklace from his pocket. During Rin’s convalescent he had had time to figure out what it really was - a key, to be precise, and he hoped the chest’s key.

 

“...Bingo.” He breathed. The chest opened and revealed at least a dozen of small notebooks, all of Ama’s diaries and memories.

 

Sousuke browsed through them quickly, looking for certain dates only. He read the last diary where Ama wrote about their arrival, and later how she had appreciated his presence at her side - Sousuke felt his chest tightened when he read that passage - and of course there was a part after her recovery where she wrote about Toraichi. He didn't learn anything new but there was this sentence written haphazardly all over the pages.

 

“Three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead?” Sousuke read aloud.

 

He put down the recent diary and went for the others. There was nothing really important in them, but he noticed here and then that some letters were circled. He frowned when he realized that the diaries from ten years ago were missing. All of them. As if Ama had deliberately erased this year from her memories - nothing mentioned the murders, or the Beast. He didn’t surrender though, and sought for all the circled letters he had come into while reading the diaries - most letters had been circled on recent ones. As he wrote the letters down in chronological order, a sentence appeared.

 

_‘The esthetic leer is a beckoned bosh.’_

Sousuke frowned. It didn’t mean a thing. There was probably a code, or worse, an anagram. Sousuke hated letters, he was only good at maths and science. What could Ama want them to understand by that? He looked around in the room, there was her bed, the diaries, the chest - ‘chest’ was a word that could be made with those letters - and a bookcase - ‘bookcase’ worked as well. ‘Secret’ worked too, but then he couldn’t use the word chest anymore...if he took out those words, the letters remaining were _‘t-h-e-h-t-i-l-e-e-i-s-n-e-d-b-h’_...

 

Sousuke rushed to the end of the room.

 

_‘The secrets lie behind the bookcase!’_

 

He pushed the piece of furniture to open a way but his efforts were put to naught, the bookcase refused to move. He was so close! So close to the truth! Irritated, he punched one of the shelves - hurt himself in the process - and made two books fell on the ground. He sighed, and put them where they belonged.

 

Two of the books on that shelf refused to move, he remarked, from right to left they refused to leave their place. Sousuke pulled them both down at the same time and heard a small ‘click’. He pushed the bookcase once more and this time, it moved, revealing a hidden passage behind.

 

It was dark but hopefully it didn’t take long for Sousuke to find what he wanted. There was a book just at the birth of the hidden path. Sousuke knelt and checked the dates, it was from ten years ago. He opened the diary, his hand feverish, avid for answers. A piece of paper fell from the first page. It had Ama’s handwriting, and seemed to have been written way after the diaries.

 

‘ _To whoever find my ugly secrets, please forgive us._ ’ The front said.

 

Sousuke didn’t bother to check the back and devoured what Ama had tried to hide for ten years.

 

 

***

_July 20th,_

_This was a very pleasant day. No one shouted, the children played near the gardens. I told Goro about the news, he cried so much he made me cry too. Miyako was delighted as well, she had always wanted us to be happy after all. I adore her so much. If only Kaori could be a little bit more like her. I know I shouldn’t judge the sick ones but...she really scares me sometimes._

_July 28th,_

_I had nausea again, couldn’t take care of Haruka this morning. Kaori went instead of me. She seems on edge today. I heard her shouting at Toraichi again. Miyako tells me not to worry about it. I can’t help but feel like there’s something more behind it. It’s worse this year than the others._

_August 3rd,_

_It’s really hot, the boys are spending all their time around the lake. Goro likes to play with them, even if Kaori hates the idea. Asou permitted it, I am thankful. Goro needs to spend more time with children now._

_August 4th,_

_I don’t know what happened. I’ve never seen Kaori like this. But the worse is probably Miyako. I saw it in her eyes. She will never come back as long as this woman lives here. Of course it’s understandable, how could she stand another woman hurting Rin? What had gotten her???? She really overdid it today. I’m not sure excuses would be enough._

_August 8th,_

_There are gone. The whole Matsuoka family. Toraichi promised they would come back next summer, but I know Miyako’s eyes, they won’t._

_Haruka looked devastated, but the hope of seeing Rin next summer makes him endure it. Kaori is inconsolable, as always. I’d rather survey Haruka than writing this right now, who knows what can happen to him when his mother is in this state._

_Sept 15th,_

_Haruka has a new bruise on his arms. He said he fell while playing. He doesn’t play when he’s alone._

_Sept 30th,_

_As I suspected Miyako sent me a letter just after Toraichi. They would never come back here until Kaori accepts to go back to Saint James Clinic. I can hear her yelling in the second floor. Please, God, make that woman stop._

A couple of pages are torn between the two passages. Sousuke figured out the Nanase’s were killed around that time.

_Oct 20th,_

_I lost the baby. It was just too much to handle. Goro will sleep in his hut now. I can’t stand being next to him after what happened._

_Oct 23th,_

_Haruka came to me and asked me to tell him a story. This boy...he is so sweet. How could a monster make such a sweet boy? He must have taken it all from his father._

_Oct 30th,_

_I can’t...I can’t...I need to get out of here but I can’t leave Haruka behind...oh, what have we done…_

_Nov 1st,_

_Goro tells me not to tell a word, not to write a word, that everything needs to disappear, but my mind refuses. Yet I can’t write. I can’t believe it myself. What are we going to do? Haruka asks me if Rin can come back now that his mother is dead. How am I going to tell him...they would never come back again after what happened._

_Nov 2nd,_

_It was an accident. A stupid accident. Goro never wanted to kill him. Toraichi erupted in the main hall asking for answers and how could we tell him the truth? Of course we couldn’t. He had followed Goro to his hut, and, it was self defense...it just happened, and so fast...before we know it, Toraichi was dead. What an horrible accident. If only...maybe he would have understand. If only Miyako had been with him that night, she would have._

_Nov 3rd,_

_I feel better after writing this. I’m glad I did. Now my life can continue. Now I can mourn my baby._

_Nov 5th,_

_Goro told me about the Beast. What is this thing? I don’t get it. Tomas thinks it’s a good idea so why not? I don’t know if Georgina knows...I must ask her._

_Nov 20th,_

_It’s snowing again. Haruka likes playing in the snow. He took a red camellia leaf that had fallen on the floor, and told me he couldn’t wait for Rin to come back to show him how beautiful it was. My chest hurts. We have to protect him, no matter what._

_Kaori used to repeat the same sentence when I met her. It was something along, ‘three can keep a secret if two are dead.’ We’ll prove her wrong, from her grave. We’ll prove her that love can make you keep any secrets._

_I wonder what secret she was talking about though._

 

 

Sousuke closed the diary. He had obtained, at long last, what he wanted.

 

***

 

Before going to the Tachibana’s room Sousuke went to check on Rin. He was sleeping soundlessly, protected by Haruka and his love, so endless in Sousuke’s eyes. Rarely had he seen so much dedication, from both of them; even he didn’t love Gou as much as Rin loved Haruka or the other way around and somehow he envied them. Wasn’t it, after all, what we were all looking for in a lifetime? To feel again the unconditional love once more, one that rivalled with motherlove and surpassed it, even, some time?

 

Haruka had his eyes opened, fixed on the door like a silent sentinel. Sousuke smiled at him. He was so happy they could reunit in this hell. There had to be something positive coming out of the tragedy, and he was happy that for once, Rin stood on the good side of the balance.

 

“Is there something wrong?” Haruka whispered.

 

Sousuke urged him to come back to sleep and especially not to wake up Rin. The Officer would be here in a few hours, they all needed to rest before they learned the truth, learned about the betrayals that had persisted for a decade. How would Rin react, knowing the truth? Would he be angry, sad, or lost just like Sousuke was? Sometimes finding the answer turned out to be exactly the opposite of what we had wanted in first place. Sousuke remembered his mother’s words, ‘Nothing good comes from the past’. Who told him that, very recently? Goro perhaps...no, not Goro, the usurper. How right he had been, at that time.

 

Sousuke remembered he had something he wanted to ask Harua before leaving. “By the way, when is your birthday?”

 

Haruka frowned, not understanding why Sousuke asked such a trivial question in the middle of the night. “In June, on the 30th. Why?”

 

“Just to know.” He replied. He sent a last glance to Rin and left the lovebirds in their nest.

 

Then, he went down the stairs to the household’s rooms. He stopped when he heard noise coming from the kitchen. The sun wasn’t even up yet, what was Nagisa- no, Nagisa was dead, there was no way he could be in the kitchen at this hour- could it be-

 

Makoto jumped when Sousuke opened the door. “You scared me to death!” He joked.

 

Sousuke didn’t feel like laughing at all. He felt rage and anger running down his veins. Makoto had taken care of their horses since Goro disappeared, he must have known about his death. Didn’t he tell them that Goro talked with his father about the discussion they had in the hut, the night before the hunt? A lie, another lie that piled with all the others.

 

“What are you doing here?” He asked coldly.

 

“Well, it wasn’t supposed to be a secret but, unfortunately, with all the tragedies happening in the Hall, Nagisa decided to leave the manor…”

 

Makoto sighed as if it pained him. Sousuke only wanted to punch him.

 

“He went back to Edinburgh so quickly that I have to get up early to prepare breakfast for everyone.”

 

“But I saw him yesterday, we prepared lunch together,” Sousuke couldn’t help but said. How dare he? How dare he lie to his face?

 

He saw how quickly Makoto’s smile turned into a grimace, he was on edge. “Well, it’s unexpected. I have to say, we haven’t planned it.”

 

They didn’t take the time to remove the body so, yeah, Sousuke believed him on that point. It seemed at times Makoto could tell something else than lies, that was good to know.

 

“I feel like a lot of things went _unplanned_ ,” Sousuke reused the word, he found it utterly appropriate. “Things like our arrival, for example.”

 

“Well that’s the good kind of unplanned things if you’d ask me. The manor had never felt so lively!”

 

“Three people died, is that what you call lively?”

 

It was only when Makoto’s eyes widened that Sousuke realized his novice mistake. He wasn’t really supposed to know about the other murders.

 

Makoto’s hand froze, then took a poker that was resting near the chimney. “...Three you say?” He walked closer to the door, where Sousuke was, very slowly. Quickly Sousuke scanned the room. He had been there more than Makoto lately, he had cut his father’s arm right here so he had a clear advantaged. He knew exactly where all the knives were and how good they cut.

 

He heard the poker squeaked on the floor as Makoto advanced. He didn’t wait for him to land the first blow. Sousuke took the first knife he found, went for Makoto and tackled him down. The poker never fell from his hand though and Makoto fought back, stabbing Sousuke’s calf with the rusty head. The pain made him cry but not lose the grip on his knife. Sousuke directly went for the jugular but Makoto’s hand were already struggling with his own, stopping the knife at a couple of centimetres from the butler’s face, all the while trying to unsettled him by kicking his legs. Sousuke used all his might into his arms, ignoring the throbbing pain in his leg, until he figured out he was losing this battle. He went for another option instead.

 

He dropped the knife and heabbutted Makoto, which knocked him off instantaneously, breaking his nose in the process.

 

Sousuke took a minute or two to catch his breath. He couldn’t linger here long though, who knew who could have heard them? He stopped the bleeding on his leg and, limping, he hid Makoto in the ceiling after he bound him hand and foot and gagged him.

 

He regretted in hindsight not to have asked for his father’s localisation. But he’d found out, eventually. He knew all the places by now. There was no way Tomas could escape him.

 

He picked up the knife from the floor and went back to the main hall. If Makoto was already awake then it meant Tomas probably was as well. Sousuke closed his eyes, concentrating on his earing. Images of his smiling face came to his mind. Their first meeting, how he told him about Gou’s wedding so innocently,  he remembered his gaze when Sousuke had ventured that the Duke’s brother’s death could have been caused by a man - a dark glare, he remembered, _how dare he!_ \- and all the other talks they had shared, all those lies, and this trust he had for the man which had sublimated the moment he had found Goro’s body in the lake.

 

But most dear to his heart, Sousuke had a lot of question about what happened during the hunt. It was plain as day now that Tomas had played an important role in this trickery. He had played the false ally all along. Did he pretend his leg was hurt? Perhaps...but what for? And what about his arm? Why did he sacrifice his arm? He almost died because of the wound he most probably inflicted himself! What secret deserved that much self-commitment? It was strange. Sousuke was usually such a good judge of character, and he hadn't sense any evil inside Tomas - that was what made everything so hard, so impossible, so unbelievable! There was still a part of him who tried to rationalise the situation. Maybe he had a good motive. Sometimes good people did bad things.

 

He heard them, footsteps, on the upper floor. Sousuke hid the knife and advanced slowly. He had to make sure it wasn't Haruka or the girls first before taking action. After a few steps the pain in his calf reared its head again and Sousuke winced. He hobbled to the staircase and climbed the steps one by one, which would irremediably betray his presence but he didn't care at this point. He knew the truth, and Father Ryuugazaki did too, the police was about to arrive and arrested half of the manor so there was no point of standing there in the middle of the first floor’s corridor, except perhaps a feeling of vengeance and betrayal that Sousuke needed to exorcised from the mouth who had lied to him. He needed Tomas to tell him the truth face to face, he wouldn't be able to move on without it.

 

The footsteps came, rather surprisingly, from Ama’s room. Sousuke stood bemused in front of the door. Why would anyone be there all of the place, he wondered, until he realized he had been there just a couple of minute ago. The Tachibana’s room was just under Ama’s. Tomas must have noticed his presence, or worse, the fact that he opened the bookcase’s passage. If he knew about the diaries then his presence here made sense.

 

The door wasn’t properly closed. Sousuke pushed it, gently. Tomas was looking into the chest with his remaining hand, clumsily going through the pages as if he was looking for something in particular. Dates? The circled letters? Sousuke just had to ask after all.

 

He tightened his grip on the knife he hid behind his back. “May I help you?” He talked.

 

He savoured as Tomas’s hand froze in its task. The gardener slowly lifted his gaze to meet Sousuke’s judging eyes. He looked rather serene considering the circumstances but inside his guts were melting with rage and ire.

 

When Tomas didn't reply Sousuke went on, “What are you doing here at this hour?” He asked.

 

“I could ask you the same,” Tomas replied. His hand came back to his side. For the first time he looked at Sousuke as if he was a threat. “Ama had been a friend of mine even before you were born. That explains my presence here, but what about yours?”

 

“I think you already know what I was doing in her room, and that's why you came here, to check what I have really done with your eyes.” Sousuke took Ama’s pendant which he had put around his neck. “Don't bother with the diaries, I've read them all.”

 

Tomas looked furious, his eyes stuck on the pendant. “How did you get this?” he muttered. “You stole it on her dead body!”

 

“No, she gave it to me.”

 

“Liar…”

 

Tomas took a step forward, and despite the knife in his hand there was something in Tomas’s eyes that made Sousuke take a step back, something terrifying. He wasn't the same man. He looked desperate more than anything, angry at life itself and sad but mostly desperate, paint into corner.

 

“I'm the one telling the truth here, unlike someone I know-”

 

“Liar!” Tomas shouted, “She would have never betrayed us!”

 

Tomas’s burst took him by utter surprise; the gardener hurled himself on Sousuke without warning and tossed him down, his head hitting the ground violently. He didn't see the first punch coming but he felt the others, breaking his cheekbone. Blood ran from his nose to his mouth, he spat some as he regained his sense and retaliated, throwing Tomas out of his lap and tackling him on the ground. It was easy to be cruel, easy to grasp on his stump where the flesh was still hurt to make his opponent less focus. He punched Tomas’s face until he drew blood out of his mouth, and then he stopped.

 

Why was he punching him? He needed answer, not to knock his old friend out. What had gotten him? He was not a violent man to begin with-

 

Tomas kicked him in the balls and rolled on top of him. He took the knife that Sousuke dropped earlier in his fall and Sousuke saw the blade getting dangerously close to his right eye. He couldn't dodge the blow, only closed his lid but the pain ran through his head so violently he almost passed out. Tomas abandoned him and the knife still stuck on his globe and got back on his feet after he took back Ama’s pendant that Sousuke had kept around his neck.

 

“You shouldn't have this.” He spoke, mostly to himself Sousuke noticed, since his eyes never dropped on his lying body.

 

Sousuke couldn't move a muscle, his mind was still proceeding what had just happened. Tomas had stabbed him in the eye. His eye. It was lost, he already knew it. It was a real chance that the blade didn't go further and touched his brain, thus sentencing him to a certain death. Tomas had just stabbed him and he got up and was about to walk away just like that.

 

Did he think he killed him? Was it the end, or his last chance?

 

Sousuke grasped the knife and slowly pulled it out of his eyes, blood ran down his face but he ignored it. He couldn't see where Tomas had gone but he could still hear him breathe and move around Ama’s room. He ignored the pain as his eyes only felt like a burning ache and the blade tearing his skin apart. Luckily Tomas was too absorbed with Ama’s diaries to notice his moves. He only let out a sigh when the blade finally came in his hands. He wanted to scream, but his rage turned into cold wrath. He got back on his feet and ran to Tomas, who saw him a couple of second too late. The knife transfixed his side where his spleen was; he groaned in pain and fell on the floor.

 

“Da...dammit...trying to kill me...after you went through all that trouble...to fix me…” He moaned, his hand covering his bleeding side. It was already full of blood.

 

“I could say the same about you.” Sousuke answered sharply. He couldn’t see him well, he regretted that. His vision had turned red.

 

Tomas laughed at his remark, which sent Sousuke even more over the edge.

 

“What a pity...To think we've been this far...all that for nothing…”

 

Sousuke didn't know what stopped him from kicking him on the floor. “How dare you. How _could_ you!? I...I trusted you!” He yelled.

 

“Well, maybe you shouldn't have then...I'm sorry you trusted me that much.” Tomas said.

 

Each words he spoke were harder to pronounce, he was bleeding to death too quickly. If he didn't act soon Tomas would die before confessing his crimes, and Sousuke wouldn’t let that happen. He went to Ama’s cupboard and took one of her night dresses, then tore it into two. With the piece of cloth he knelt next to Tomas and tried to stopped the bleeding.

 

“What are you doing?” Tomas muttered.

 

“I won't let you die in there, not before you confess.” Sousuke applied pressure on the wound and Tomas winced in pain. “This is simple. If I stop pressing the cloth on your side you'll bleed to death in a couple of minutes. I'm certain you want to see your wife and children one more time before dying, don't you?”

 

“You...monster…”

 

“Me? A _monster_?” Sousuke fumigated. “I know what you’ve done Tomas! I know about Toraichi, about Goro and about the Beast! I know everything now! How dare you call me monster when you're the real one here!”

 

“I only went this far because we had no other choice!” Tomas fought back.

 

“What sort of answer is that? Killing people is never an option!” Sousuke replied. 

 

“But what choice did we have?! He was only twelve years old!” Tomas shouted.

 

Sousuke was about to reply but his mouth froze midway.

 

...What?

 

What had Tomas just said?

 

What was he talking about?

 

“...What do you mean by ‘he was only twelve years old’?” he asked quietly.

 

But Tomas’s lips remained sealed. It seemed he had realized as well, too late, the damages his words had caused. Sousuke thought he had finally understood what had happened ten years ago but again Tomas proved him wrong, deliberately or not. It was the last piece of the puzzle he had missed, the last but ironically also the first.

 

***

 

“Do you really want to try again?”

 

Rin was positive. He had never felt better in ages. His legs didn't hurt that much in the end - his breathing was the real deal, but if he went slowly then it could be handled. He had woken up as soon as Sousuke closed to door behind him and since, he was stubbornly trying to get back on his feet. Doing nothing but staying lay in bed all day didn’t consume a lot of energy so, even at this hour of the day, he had plenty to spare.

 

“Okay then, hold my hands.”

 

Haru proposed his hands, that Rin gladly took in his, and he stood up. He cursed at first, and winced but overall the pain was manageable. He took a few steps forward while Haru went backward and they walked until Haru’s back hit the door.

 

“Not bad,” he provoked him. Rin pouted to his comment, he began to frown but then Haru took his lips, and the frown was gone.

 

Haru was smiling from the bottom of his heart, Rin had rarely seen him so serene and happy. “I'm so glad you are feeling better. I was so scared when you fell.”

 

“Oh this? It's just a scratch. Really!” Rin said when Haru laughed at his remark. “I've seen worse.”

 

“You look like a man who likes to live a dangerous life.” Haru commented.

 

“Well, perhaps you're right. I mean, the Rin who came in Aberdeen’s Hall a couple of weeks ago probably liked his life that way.”

 

Haru rested his arms on Rin’s shoulders, looking at him fondly. “And the Rin in front of me? What does he like?”

 

“Well,” Rin dropped kisses on his lips, “You, of course.”

 

“How do you want to live your life?” Haru insisted.

 

Rin took the time to seriously think about what to answer. He guessed that behind this ask Haru hid an ulterior motive, he would never do anything unnecessary. Haru asked about his plan for the future - _their_ future, more precisely. What were they going to do after all of this mess resolve itself? Rin couldn't spend all his life in the Hall but he would visit Haru often. He could see Gou as well, and her numerous children, mini-Dukes running in the gardens. Would they play in the maze like Haru and he did in the past? Bright summer days like they had known...if only the future could be that bright like in the past, Rin wouldn't ask for anything else.

 

He knew he’ll have to marry, knew he would have to give an heir to the Matsuoka name, Haru knew that as well but his heart would be his, forever, and nothing could ever change that.

 

Still, it was too soon to reveal his projection; Haru’s happiness was a fragile thing he wanted to handle as gently as possible.

 

“We’ll talk about it when the sun rises and we’re both safe.” He dodged. “I don’t want to jeopardize our future by saying aloud what I have in mind, before we get out of this hell alive and whole.”

 

“You don’t want to jinx it.”

 

“I don’t want to jinx us.” Rin leaned in and captured Haru’s lips. His tongue sought for entrance, something Haru gladly gave him. Their kiss never seemed to stop, and suddenly Haru broke it, his eyes worriedly looking at Rin.

 

“Is it okay? Your breathing?” He asked.

 

Rin replied with a smile and a quick kiss. “Yes. I don’t know why, but I’ve never felt better since I’ve fell. I mean, I don’t feel as tired, I stopped taking naps very randomly and the dreams aren’t there anymore.”

 

Haru looked anything but surprised, and smiled when he replied, “That’s probably because I’ve stopped poisoning your tea since your fall.”

 

Rin laughed awkwardly in between Haru’s soft kisses, “What are you talking about?” He asked when Haru finally freed his lips.

 

“Haven’t you notice? I infused the leaves longer than necessary so that the taste would cover the poison’s.”

 

“Haru, you’re not making any sense.” Rin said.

 

“I know now it was wrong, that it was a bad idea…but what could I do? I was so scared you’d leave me again, I felt it was the only solution I had to make you stay...I’m sorry, I should have trust you.” Haru caressed his cheek gently. “You don’t have to worry about the poison by the way, the amount I gave you is inoffensive. My mother used to poison me when she was still alive so she could keep me by her side. That’s why I was always sick and couldn’t leave the Hall.”

 

“Haru...you’re...you’re kidding me, right?”

 

Rin wasn’t smiling anymore. His mouth turned into a grim expression as he watched Haru lowering his eyes to the ground, as if he had done something wrong and regretted it. He remained silent for a while, giving Rin the time to figure out what Haru had just told him. His arms stilled behind Haru’s neck.

 

Haru sighed when he sensed the tension. “This is why I didn’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Are you even serious? I mean, did you...really...God Haru you poisoned me!”

 

“I told you I’m deeply sorry. I stopped as soon as I realized it was useless anyway. And like I said all it did to you was a little fatigue and hallucinations.” Rin got off of his embrace and almost stumbled as he walked back to his bed. “Rin, it’s not much, please! Don’t take it so seriously!”

 

“What were you thinking? Honestly? You _poisoned_ me!”

 

“It was only because I was scared!” Haru replied, his voice getting higher with his worry. “You have no idea of how helpless I felt when you never came back. For ten years you abandoned me!”

 

“I didn’t! I didn’t want to leave you behind, never!” Rin retorted. “What did you want me to do? I was only twelve years old!”

 

“You have no idea of what I did for you when I was twelve years old!”

 

Haru was at the verge of crying, his blue eyes shining with distraught when they witnessed the horror on Rin’s face; he sought for nothing more than acceptation but seeing how Rin was rejecting him, remorse got the better of him and loosened his tongue.

 

“...if only you knew all the things...all the things I did to...I wonder if you would still love me...I wonder if I would still be worth of your love,” Haru sobbed, his back leaned on the door and sank on his bottom with his hopes and dreams for a brighter future as the eventuality that Rin might still abandoned him another time invaded his thoughts. “Ama, Goro, Tomas...if only you knew everything I’ve known for years, would you have acted the same way I did?”

 

Rin was positively terrified. He had caught a rare glimpse of Haru he hadn’t had the chance of seeing frequently. He swore, his blue eyes had turned golden as he spoke his distress. The terrific sight shut off his other senses; he couldn’t hear what Haru had said, his words hitting his ears but never making any sense. It made him forget about the pain in his legs, or about the air that got caught inside his lungs and refused to get out without a piercing pain.

 

“I love you,” Haru murmured, tears were flooding down his cheeks, his eyes reddened by sadness, “I love you so much, I’ve loved you for so long. I didn’t want to let you go. I didn’t know how I could make you stay. No one told me how to love. I only read it in books but no one ever showed me…I only acted like my mother would have because I’ve seen it worked in the past. But I know now I was wrong. I should have trust you. I should have had faith in you.”

 

Haru curled into a ball and cried his eyes out for long minutes, before he heard Rin’s limping towards him. He still until Rin sat next to him. No one spoke for a while, Haru silently continued to cry while Rin was trying to make up his mind.

 

“You talked about Ama, you talked about the poison you use on me...you...Haru, I need to know. Did you kill her?”

 

They had counted everyone that got its hands on Haru’s cup, everyone who could have poisoned the cup before it got into the room. But they had forgotten about one person. The one who got sick first, the one who drank the tea with the wrong hand because of ‘pure’ luck. Somehow it appeared as bright as day in Rin’s mind; it wasn't’ luck, it was knowledge. Haru knew where the poison was because he put it there himself.

 

His tears had dried when he gave Rin a reply. “Your friends that got killed by the folks, had they done something wrong?”

 

Rin blinked, not getting where he was going, not understanding how he could be so elusive when his heart was literally dislocating his ribcage with how loud and fast it was beating.

 

“It depends on one’s point of you.” He replied.

 

“I don’t care about the others. I only long for the world from your perspective, Rin; had they?” Haru pressed on.

 

Rin shook his head. He didn’t have any strength left to talk.

 

“Rin. I know you are angry at me at the moment. I can feel it in my bones. Let me tell you a story, my story. Then I’ll let you decide if you still want to hate me or not.”

 

He remembered when he had seen that look, Rin recalled, the look Haru gave him right now, it was the same from that time in the maze, that time they kissed, it was the one he sent him the first night of their arrival when he showed him the sakura branches above the door of his room, it was the one he had locked his eyes with the first time they had kissed on that very hot day, next to the lake. It wasn’t something Rin struggle with. Despite all he had said, all Rin thought he had guessed, he still loved him more than anything else, and it scared him; but probably not more than losing him once more.

 

“Go on, I’m all ears.” He said.

 

He hoped from the bottom of his heart that after the tale Rin wouldn’t find any reason to hate Haru anymore.

 

 

 

 

 


	14. XIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eventually, everything ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what to say.  
> Long author's note at the end of the chapter with trivia information about OC's and the story itself.  
> Thank you everyone who supported the story (which is a difficult one), everyone who read, left a kudos or a comment. It always means the world to me, to every single writer on the planet.  
> Thank you my friend I made through the comments, that's also why I keep posting fics.
> 
> See you after this Hell is finally over.

* * *

 

# Chapter XIV

.

 

At this moment of the story Haru saw his whole life pass before his eyes.

 

He realized every good memory he had were tinted with red. Red like the camellias, like Rin’s eyes, how it made him feel when he smiled, red like the blaze that took his father’s life, red like Rin, red like craziness and furry. Red like blood, like his mother’s blood when he cut her throat as he plunged the butcher’s knife into her jugular.

 

Since the very beginning Rin had always intrigued him, but it took him years to understand what the feeling in chest that bloomed over time meant. It had always been love from the start, though not always the same type. At first what pained him was the love the Matsuoka shared with each other, because it was something he didn’t understand and yet craved for, even when he still ignored what it was. The smile on Rin’s face, the spark in his eyes, his limbs so vivid and full of life felt like staring at the sun for too long; it burnt his retina, made him want to pull out his hands as soon as it touched Rin’s frame on a vain attempt to protect himself. Haru had always known that the Matsuoka’s arrival would cause a wind of change in the Hall’s life, but he never expected Rin to transform into such a mystery. He was different from him on so many levels. It was a miracle they even got along at all.

 

It took him time. A whole summer, two long months before Haru stared back into these eyes. He would always remember what he saw in them the moment he did so; Haru swore he saw a spark, the start of a wildfire just in Rin’s eyes. He remembered what Rin told him the year after. The wildfire, Rin called it happiness. Haru wondered if he made it. He had no idea he could make someone this happy.

 

Spending their childhood years together taught him about a lot of emotions; joy, excitement, competition, annoyance - most days, actually - and fear, at times. Rin’s absence caused the exact same effect, but there were lessons Haru would have liked to ignore. Loss, sadness, longing...this one was bittersweet but still hurt nonetheless. After a couple of summers Rin became his long lost brother in arms, lost somewhere in his mother’s uterus, a devil twin that should have been there with him all along but was stolen away because he shone too much to live in this gloomy Hall. Each year Haru thought about Persephone and Hades, and started to wonder if Rin brought Summer with him or if it was the opposite.

 

It came a time when Haru didn’t bother skin contact with Rin. It came a time when he yearned for them, a time when it ached not to be with Rin when he was so close to him; that’s when he knew, that’s when he started reading love books and asked his mother the wrong questions.

 

Haru had loved Rin from the start, but with a lot of different kind; until the moment he realized he couldn’t breathe properly the moment his mother told him he would never see him again. From that very moment his love became red; like the camellia on the snow, like fire, like blood, like madness and furry, like his mother’s craziness.

 

“YOU _MONSTER_!”

 

He could still see her shouting at him. “How dare you kiss him? He tainted you! Like Toraichi tainted me!” She yelled. His father couldn’t do a thing, he had always been powerless in front of her. She had always bewitched every man that had crossed her path but her tricks wouldn’t work on her own son, not anymore. Haru comforted her, and this was when the tragedy started.

 

When she took the butcher’s knife and tried to kill him, his father saved him in extremis; he stopped her arms in mid-air and then took the bow in his place. The candle burn he held fell on the floor and started the fire. Kaori yelled when his body burnt into flames. Haru still wondered why; it was a mix of pain, sorrow, and fascination. She dropped the knife, it fell between her legs. Haru’s mother had never been very tall. She was fragile, delicate like a flower, an iris; but Haru knew better, it was a devil in disguise, it was the demon, a beast living in a human body.

 

It wanted to take his most important thing away from him.

 

It already took his childhood, his father, his health; Haru wouldn’t let It take Rin as well.

 

Its blood got into his hair and coloured his vision with the colour he liked so much. Everything went red. And then, when the next summer came without Rin, colours became dull again.

 

 

 

When Haru first heard about the Beast, a couple of week after his parents’ death, a shiver ran down his spine. The image of his mother came into his mind but he immediately pushed it away. Makoto looked terrified at the idea of a monster leaving in the woods. When Haru told him he shouldn’t be worried because he got rid of It already, his friend stared at him bemused. Haru only understood later that they weren’t talking about the same Beast.

 

He had never been ready to answer the consequence of his action. Killing his mother had not been a thought act; it had been vital, as if her presence prevented him from breathing air, it had been obviousness the moment she dropped the knife on the floor. He just desperately refused to live in a world where he couldn’t see Rin again. Reality hit him harder than his mother’s slaps when the Matsuoka never came back despite his heroic act. Why? He had taken down the bad guy, now was the time of happy endings, Rin would come back and live with him until the end of times. That was what he read in his love stories.

 

He had hope the night Toraichi came back. But the next morning he was gone, and Rin was nowhere to be seen.

 

And so Haru forgot what Rin had taught him through the years. He forgot the red, the passion, the fire, and love. He came back to his daily life, helped with his close ones. The manor became his own prison, frozen into time without Rin’s presence. He would have let himself die if it weren’t for Makoto. His eternal and endless kindness saved him from his own demons. Months, years passed. Each time when the sakura bloomed, he took down a branch, hoping that one day Rin would come back to admire them with him. A new cook joined him, he had a communicative energy Haru liked a lot. It reminded him of Rin in a way, there was life in his voice. He liked that.

 

He told him all he had to know about the rumours surrounding the place: the beast, the witch, and even the Duke’s new fiancée.

 

Haru almost lost his balance when he learned it was Gou. Just hearing his name made his heart stopped. Rin...Rin, so close and yet so far again, at arm reach. Was it another dream? Was he about to wake up alone in the middle of the night again?

 

The news spread like wildfire in the Hall. There was no doubt the Matsuoka would come back here soon with Gou’s weeding approaching. Everyone seemed on edge. Every single one of the manor’s residents, and especially Goro and Ama.

 

Haru had always loved Goro, to the depth of his bones. He had always felt a sort of connexion with this man, ugly and broken, removed from the rest of them, living alone in his hut. But what he learned made his heart sink into his feet. They were whispering with Ama by the lake, certain no one had followed them there.

 

“What if they come back?” Goro said. “What if they find out?”

 

“What shall we do? Should we ask Tomas?”

 

They both looked positively petrified by the mere thought of Rin returning to the Hall but why? It had been Haru’s dearest wish for years, how could they betray their master? How could they…

 

It only took Haru a minute; according to what they said and their anxious glance sent on the centre of the lake, he understood, not without any pain, that their reserve had something to do with Toraichi’s nocturne visit from ten years ago. He gasped when he realised his own people had killed Rin’s father and thrown his corpse in the lake. Of course they were worried about the Matsuoka going back in the area. Of course! They might have even plot against him, to forbid Rin from coming back!

 

“I don't know what I’ll do if I were to meet one of Toraichi’s children...This tragedy had been haunting me for too long. I need to confess my crimes!” Goro told Ama in a cry.

 

“You don't think!” she retorted, visibly in panic. “What will happen to you then? What will Rin and Gou think of you and the Hall?”

 

The thought froze something in Haru’s blood, his sight got blurred and only the sound of his heartbeat hiding his skull could reach his ears. Slowly he realised something he feared more than his mother, more than death itself; the eventuality of Rin being so close but refusing to come back to the place his father had been killed, to live under the same roof as his murderers. And that was something Haru could understand, and would, yet it was unacceptable. He would make sure Goro would never ever speak a single word about Toraichi’s death.

 

But things never went as planned.

 

Rin was a bit different than the one in his memories; he became radiant, breath-taking, dangerously attractive. He destabilized him enough that he couldn't find sleep the first night. Haru stood up in his empty bed and went to the window, admiring the view. The moonlight reflected on the lake. Everything was usually so sincere at night.

 

From the distance he saw Goro and Tomas talking in front of the hut. They were shouting. Haru put two and two together and rushed outside.

 

Goro couldn't tell him.

 

Haru wouldn't tell him.

 

He would protect Rin from the truth.

 

Goro yelled at him, it was the first and last time. He looked like a different man, his face distorted more by his own devastating feelings than the scars of his past. Regret ate him alive. But Haru didn't care. And Goro wouldn't listen.

 

When Tomas thought Goro was about to punch him he chose, almost by instinct, to protect his master, something he had done very consciously over the years. He hit the back of his head with the paddle resting against the hut.

 

Goro never got up.

 

They remained frozen, the paddle this in Tomas’s hands, before Haru realized his problem had found an unexpected solution. Dead, Goro could not tell Rin the truth.

 

Tomas broke the silence first. “We should dispose of him while we’re not totally lucid. Help me carry his body to the lake.”

 

“No!” Haru interjected. “We can leave him rest next to the one he killed.”

 

Tomas gasped, probably surprised by Haru’s knowledge of what had happened at the exact same place in the past. “...what do you suggest then?”

 

“We should give the body to the pigs.” He told him, it was something he had read in a book. “There are butcher's knives in the kitchen. Cut him into pieces until the pigs can digest him.”

 

Haru had never seen Tomas so terrified.

 

(Little did he know Tomas could never fulfil this order; cutting his own friend he accidentally killed into pieces was too painful. He threw up after amputating the right leg, and threw the rest of the corpses in the lake with the help of his sons.)

 

Haru came back to his room, feeling so light weighted. What an easy and perfect solution! Goro and Ama had obviously killed Rin’s father and had hidden this fact for years, killing them would both make Toraichi’s justice and prevent them from spelling the truth to Rin. If only...if only they hadn't killed him...Rin would have come back to him long ago.

 

Rin told him a lot of emotions, but from the whole he knew Haru would never have bet on wrath. And wrath, like love, turned men blind.

 

He still needed to take care of Ama. Haru had a wonderful idea. He sneaked into Toraichi’s old room, taking the secret passage and looked into his wardrobe. To his astonishment there was a red uniform and a red shako stored there, the latter full of blood with a hole in its back. Out of sentimentalism Goro and Ama must have kept Toraichi’s last clothes and his it there before the years sealed off the access to the room. Haru took the uniform without hesitation and kept the shako at hands. In the middle of the night and with this outfit, there was no doubt that Ama wouldn't recognize him, her guilt would make her see exactly what she feared the most.

 

Then again his plan didn't work as he wanted. Ama didn't run to him but fell on her heels, shaking, terrified but far from being dead. While she pretended to be sleeping, Haru displayed all kind of strategies to poison her little by little only to have his plan hijacked by this priest. She started to refuse his tea as soon as she regained consciousness.

 

The day she mentioned going to the lake he knew her time had come. He had to act, and quick.

 

There was only one way to make her drink the poison. He had to take some himself. His mother used to poison him when he was a child, just enough to make him weak and sick so she could keep him to herself. He drank a small dose the day before and when she came to see him he calculated the perfect dose with this information and Ama’s small constitution. He watched her drink the beverage ardently, so much she must have figured out something was off. But he didn’t care. It was already too late. He remembered the fear in her eyes, quivering when she looked back at him. Then she said something that froze the blood in his veins.

 

“You look so much like your mother.”

 

 

 

 

The truth appeared plain as day after Ama’s death. It was in the way Tomas suspiciously glanced at him from time to time. He had just killed someone. Someone that had misbehaved, yes, but not a monster like his mother. Worse, this time it was premeditated. It was in Rin’s sadness; Haru couldn't help but wonder if he would have been this touched if he had known the truth, and the part of him that loved Rin more than anything else whispered that he probably would have all the same. Rin was virtuous. He would have forgiven her.

 

And that's when Haru realized, horrified, that in his madness he had hidden with a sick logic he had just become what he had always loathed. To protect Rin from the pain of finding out his father had been killed by people he loved, he had turned into a murderer himself, repeating steps after steps his mother’s pattern. This would be nothing but pain to Rin if he ever found out. From the start murder had never been a solution, it was a vicious circle, started the moment he killed his mother - and perhaps even before that.

 

No matter what he thought now it was too late to undo his crimes. He killed Ama, he had to live with this idea, and decide if he had the courage to face Rin or run away from his responsibilities.

 

At first, he chose the latter.

 

He knew Rin wouldn't be too much hurt from the fall, after all he was a man in good shape. The three days when he remained unconscious taught him he chose the wrong option. Haru would never forgive him if something bad happened to Rin again. He had never hated his weakness more than when he spent his days and nights looking after him. His mother used to tell him the hall was a haunted place. He should have listened to Rin. They should have fleed from the Hall. They still could. Haru would tell him the truth, and if there’s only a tiny bit of Rin’s soul willing to forgive him for the crimes he had done, then he would follow him wherever Rin wanted.

 

He told him, everything, and Rin listened in utter silence.

 

He clearly saw the distress in Rin’s eyes when he told him about his father’s death, saw the tears falling, hated that he partly caused this awful sight in front of him. Haru knew the truth would be unbearable for Rin. He had copped with it for a couple of weeks only and looked where it lead him, he _killed_ because of the truth.

 

He let Rin cried on his shoulder for long minutes, the warmth of his body comforting his cold soul. He hadn't run away, and somehow Haru knew he wouldn't. Even if he was mad at him right now Rin would forgive him. Tentatively Haru caressed Rin’s hair to test his theory and let out a sigh when he encountered no resistance. Rin only cried harder.

 

“It’s okay,” he murmured, vain words to easy an indefinable pain. “It’s okay, It’s all over.”

 

“How can this be okay?” Rin sobbed.

 

“The past, it's all behind. Now that there is no beast and no killer, we can sleep soundly until another sunrise and then, who knows what we can do? As soon as you’re restored to health…we can leave this haunted place.”

 

His hand was still on Rin’s hair, playing with his locks. Rin took his head off of his shoulder and Haru swore he had never looked at him like that. He opened his mouth, then closed it, and Haru felt his stomach being turned outside down by the mere hope of Rin’s acceptance.

 

But then, again, nothing ever went as planned.

 

People were shouting in the other wing of the first floor. In Ama’s room.

 

“Wait here,” Haru quickly stood up took the knife under Rin’s pillow, leaving the gun for Rin. “I’ll be back soon.” And he crossed the corridor.

 

“Me? A monster? I know what you’ve done, Tomas!”

The knock in his stomach turned into something else when he recognized the voice, he walked faster.

 

“I only went this far because we had no other choice!”

 

Tomas’s voice sounded weird, he was in danger. His ears started to ring.

 

“What sort of answer is that? Killing people is never an option!”

 

He stood centimetres away from Sousuke’s back. How words resonated with something inside him – his conscience, perhaps, lost somewhere in between the mess that had been these past few weeks.

 

“You always have a choice!”

 

His eyes fell on Tomas, on the blood on his side. And then they went on his lips, too late.

 

“He was only twelve years old!” he shouted.

 

Tomas saw him, livid, just a second too late. The vision of his master turned him into a statue, despite Sousuke’s insistence he didn't speak more words.

 

Haru remembered what Tomas told him the night he killed Goro. When Toraichi found out about the matricide he wanted to lock up Haru in Saint James Clinic; that's what they had fought about with Goro the night he was killed. Assuredly, if people were to know the truth of what had happened within the Hall, considering the legend his mother had been and his poorly social circle, he would be forced to go there. A twelve year old kid, raised by a psychopath and who ended up killing his own mother could only tuned out to be a psychopath himself.

 

This is probably something Sousuke and he would highly disagree about.

 

Surely Sousuke wouldn't want someone like him near his best friend.

 

Panic and fear spoke for him, made his arm move on its own. Sousuke wouldn't see him coming, he never did and he got the knife; he could cut through his skin at the base of his neck. It was just there, a few centimetres away, he couldn't miss it. Liberty just at hand reach.

 

Liberty, paid with another murder.

 

…No, no he couldn't.

 

He didn't want to kill anymore again. He never wanted to be a murderer in first place, this was not the life he wanted.

 

He dropped the knife last second and hit Sousuke with the flat of his hand on the back of his head, knocking him out on the spot. He fell on the ground just under his feet.

 

A couple of seconds passed before he inhaled deeply. Haru felt like breathing fresh air for the first time in ages.

 

Haru took back the knife from the floor. Hot liquid touched his skin and he gasped when he saw red again. There was blood coming from Sousuke's face, his nose was broken and his lips were swollen, red by his own blood. Haru caressed his face and the fresh blood on it, tainting his fingers. He heard Tomas groaned from where he lied as well. There was a pool of blood under his side.

 

“What...happened...” He breathed.

 

His vision turned blurry. There was so much blood it reached Sousuke's lying form, tainting his clothes. The sight, so overwhelming, made him miss the obvious.

 

Footsteps.

 

“...Haru?”

 

Air got caught in his throat. The irregular and hesitant footsteps could only belong to one person. Rin had gone out of his bedroom with the gun in his hands while the other one was holding a crutch.

 

“...No…” Haru whispered, his voice almost imperceptible. “Don't go further. Don't approach me.”

 

“Haru? Is everything okay? I heard someone…” The steps halted in front of the door. There he stood, in front of him with his bloody hand on Sousuke's face and the other holding a knife, his best friend unconscious and lying in a pool of blood. “...Falling…”

 

His life had been nothing but red since he had met Rin. Red like the fire in the chimney, keeping him warm on lonely winter nights. He loved and adored that feeling more than anything else, the idea - the fact - that thanks to Rin he wasn't alone anymore. Haru would have killed just for this feeling to never leave him.

 

In fact, he did kill for that exact reason.

 

“...Ha...Ha...What…”

 

“Rin. It's not what you think.” Haru knew it was all in vain. The look on Rin’s face told him he had seen it all. He felt all life living his limbs when he saw how Rin couldn’t look back at him, but only to Sousuke’s body lying behind him. Haru couldn’t believe it. How could he explain this, in a fraction of second? Life seemed so full of hopes and dreams and it only took one sentence to throw it all away.

 

Rin took a step back. He briefly moved his gaze to Haru’s face, never meeting his eyes as if he was scared of what he would find.

 

“Rin...” Haru called his name carefully, “Rin, he's alright. He's just knocked out.” Haru begged, taking a step toward him showing his knife, cleaned of any blood, still in his hand.

 

But Rin was not in front of him, not anymore; there was a man, a wounded man, so scared his mind had left its body. Reduced to his archaic cortex like a wounded animal, just as Haru had been a couple of minutes ago, all Rin did was out of reflex. He needed to flee, far away from the blood and the deaths and danger, regardless of his injuries.

 

Rin walked as fast as he could to the stairs, the fear and the adrenaline easing the pain on his legs to the point of almost making it negligible.

 

“Rin...” Haru said weakly. He had feared, all his life that Rin would run away from him. Seeing his worst fear happening in front of his very eyes blocked his breathing. The pain in the middle of his chest prevented him from moving forward, to run after Rin, to shout his name.

 

“Rin…”

 

He couldn’t let him go. Rin was his future, without him he had no other perspective except the ones the Hall permitted him and they were only a few, and Haru liked none. He had to catch him, to explain, to apologize for all he had done until Rin forgive him and understand, no matter how many time he would need to repeat himself.

 

His foot got stuck on the floor the moment he decided to move. A powerful grip maintained his ankle on solid ground. Sousuke used all his remaining might to immobilized Haru, to give Rin some time and help him escape.

 

“No...let me go…” Haru found back his voice, “Let me go!”

 

He didn’t understand, he couldn’t understand!

 

“I won’t let you hurt Rin,” Sousuke muttered.

 

“I won’t hurt him! I love him!” He would never understand. “I need to rejoin him.”

 

Haru tried to kick his way out but Sousuke used both of his hands. He pulled on his leg and Haru fell on his knees.

 

“Let me go!!” He yelled.

 

Haru was tired of this, tired of lying, tired of secrets, tired of blood and deaths...he just wanted to rest and sleep, his head in Rin’s lap, to breath in the crook of his neck and smell his scent. Haru was a man of simple things. Very simple things.

 

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you.” He told Sousuke. “I didn't want to hurt anyone.”

 

He felt the grip on his ankle loosening a bit when he showed no intention to move. He couldn’t hear Rin anymore. Rin had left. What was the point of getting up now that things were messed up?

 

“I was just scared. I didn’t think straight when Tomas told you the truth. I thought you were going to report me to the authorities and that they’ll end up committing me like they did to my mother.” Haru explained. “I’m glad you’re alive.”

 

This wouldn’t be enough to atone for his acts, but at least his wounds would rest, lightened of the truth. If only Rin would listen to him. If only he could show him that Sousuke was alright…

 

Footsteps came their way. Haru thought, for a moment, that his prayers had been heard for once. But the shoes his eyes set upon weren’t Rin’s, nor the one of a man. When he lifted his head, Haru saw plain as day Georgina’s face, distorted with pain as she saw her husband bleeding against Ama’s bed.

 

“By the Lords...what had happened here again? When will all of this end?” She said, and walked straight to her husband. “Tomas? Tomas, can you hear me?”

 

The grip on his ankle had totally vanished; Haru got on his feet, helped by Ran who arrived a little bit after her mother. “Oh my God, dad! Sir Yamazaki! What happened?”

 

When Haru turned around he noticed Sousuke had closed his eyes. He went to check his pulse, still beating; he must have lost consciousness again. Haru examined the room and the chaos now that he had the opportunity. There was only Tomas and Sousuke, both wounded, and books on the floor. Sousuke was probably the one who stabbed Tomas now that he thought about it. What did they fight about?

 

Haru knelt in front of Tomas and Georgina.

 

“I’m sorry…” his gardener whispered. He had never been so pale, not even after his came back from the woods. “I shouldn’t have said that. I thought...he had figured it out…”

 

“Sousuke is clever. He would have one way or another.” Haru comforted him.

 

Georgina sent him a weak smile while Tomas closed his eyes.

 

“Where is Makoto?” Haru found it odd that the whole family was reunited without the oldest son.

 

“I don’t know, we can’t move his body without him since Ren is still in Treston with his fiancée...”

 

“Ran, my dear, can you look for him while I take care of your father?” Georgina asked.

 

Ran nodded, kissed her father on the forehead as if she would never see him again and left them alone.

 

Sousuke was groaning, probably getting back to his sense.

 

“Haruka, my boy, you should go while there’s still time.” Georgina told him. “Please, go find  your love.”

 

Haru nodded, holding her in his arms before going as well.

 

 

“Haruka...I’ve loved you more than you can imagine.” She said while he was away. “We all loved you more than you could have ever suspected.”

 

She caressed her husband’s cheek while tears fell from her eyes. In front of her Sousuke was wriggling slowly getting back to him.

 

 

How awful that woman had been, how many people died because of her little lie?

 

 

***

 

 

There was only pain when Sousuke opened his eye again. Pain on his leg, pain in his face, his bones were broken and his eye...strangely, the back of his neck hurt like hell, but he didn’t remember being hit there. He ran the palm of his hand to check for blood but found none. What happened?

 

“You’re finally back.”

 

The voice which spoke wasn’t the one Sousuke expected to. In his last, fuzzy memory, Georgina had never been there. How long did he pass out? What time was it? Where was Haru and, most importantly, where was Rin?

 

Sousuke was sit against Ama’s bed with Georgina sitting on the floor in front of him. He tried to get up and used the bed as a leverage; his hand touched another body lied on the sheets.

 

Tomas. His hands were cold. But he still had a pulse.

 

His eyes went back of Georgina, his wife. She was holding a piece of paper Sousuke easily recognized because last time he checked it had been in his possession. He looked into his pockets and noticed the piece of paper had gone.

 

  _‘To whoever find my ugly secrets, please forgive us_ ’ she read.

 

Sousuke didn’t move a muscle. He watched very carefully all of Georgina’s movement, too scared she would try to have her revenge for what he did to her husband.

 

To his surprise she only turned the paper and read the other part Sousuke had neglected. _“‘I pray that someone will find the strength and love we lack to do so. We will die as we lived, eaten by regrets and sorrow.’_ ”

 

Behind his back he heard Tomas groaned and sat on the bed. Sousuke spin to face him; his face was all pale, his feature showed nothing but an exhausted man, a breath away from death. He had lost too much blood. It was a miracle that he was still alive.

 

“I’m glad Ran is out,” he faintly heard Georgina’s voice, his eyes were stuck on Tomas’s face. “We don’t want her to know about our sins.”

 

“I guess I owe you...some explanation…” Tomas murmured. “Will you...listen to our story?”

 

Weakly, Sousuke nodded. He had a feeling everything would be over soon - Tomas’s life, this whole hell, his time in the Hall - and he desperately needed to know the truth. What had truly happened in the Hall ten years ago?

 

Like he had guessed, Haru had killed his parents when he was twelve. Goro found him in their rooms with a knife in his hands and his face full of blood. The fire had already started and there was nothing they could do to control it.

 

“At first I thought it was a blessing, that way the fire would have explained our masters’ death and avoided the curse to fall on Haruka; but some domestics saw the blood on his face, we had to improvise a story to innocent him…”

 

Robbers had been their first choice but again people were sceptical; and without any proof they knew their story wouldn’t live long.

 

“That’s when Goro thought about it. A terrifying Beast, living in the woods. He had brought so many trophee of dead animals from India that he knocked a giant paw up, using the one of the elephant that damaged his head and one of a white tiger Asou killed back then.” He explained.

 

The idea worked better than expected. People feared supernatural forces more than anything, and with all the stories enveloping the Hall this one worked without much effort. The fact that everyone was happy to see Kaori Nanase dead did ease their tasks, at least for some time.

 

“Of course, Toraichi didn’t believe it.” Tomas went on, “I know it might sound crazy but he adored his sister, he was positively furious that someone had killed her. When we told him the truth...I think the pain talked for him. He didn’t mean what he said, he couldn't have. Toraichi had always been such a good man.”

 

Like in Ama’s diaries, Goro took his rifle to defend himself and shot Toraichi in the head by accident. They threw his body in the lake.

 

“Time passed and for a time we were happy. People grew tired of this story, they forgot why they avoided the Hall and the forest surrounding it after a year. But like a trend the Beast came back in people conversation, or rather the lack of new vital sign from this abomination…” Tomas lied back on the bed, massaging his temples. “They questioned the existence of such a monster again, terrible rumours were spreading in the whole region...Haru wasn't safe anymore. That's when we first crossed the line.”

 

Sousuke heard Georgina sniffing behind him. Tears were falling from her eyes as she blankly gazed ahead of her, looking at something that obviously terrified her but that Sousuke couldn't see - her own demons, perhaps. Sousuke feared he already had the beginning of an answer about what traumatized her of the sort.

 

“It didn't take us long to figured out we needed another victim. We needed someone as famous as Kaori was but unlike her this time they needed to be loved by the people, so the impact would last longer...”

 

Sousuke felt a knock forming in his stomach, afraid he already knew the horrible truth he was about to hear.

 

Just like his wife Tomas spoke with his gaze blankly looking ahead of him, as if he wasn’t totally here. “The young Duke was known for his love for bugs, he often ventured alone at night in the forest to capture rare fireflies. He made an ideal victim…”

 

Tomas’s voice strangled in his throat. There was a long pause before he spoke again, during when none dared to break his silence.

 

“It went...above our expectation...we had no idea it would go that far...People left the area, Treston and Edlington economy dropped, the villagers lost their jobs, some went crazy, they saw the young Duke’s death as a punishment for their circumspection and doubts. Some even...killed themselves…”

 

“Like the old forensic?” Sousuke asked, absentminded. He remembered his talk with Natsuya. That was around the time they arrived in Edlington.

 

Try to think rationally, he told himself. Try and succeed, because the other option was to figure out and digest that the Hall’s household deliberately murdered an innocent young man to protect their master.

 

“Did he know?” Sousuke wondered aloud. “Haruka, did he know?”

 

“Not a single detail.” Tomas answered, his voice clearer than it had been since the beginning of his confession. “At least, I believe so. Our dearest wish was to protect him and his innocence from the outside world...But maybe we came too late for that.”

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

“His mother, she was the real monster.” Georgina said, which surprised Sousuke - she had remained silent for long minutes now. “And she had been from the moment she got out of her mother’s womp.”

 

Georgina had been at her service since Kaori was a child. Even at young age her favourite past times were to torture bugs and birds, dissections, and lying to see how other people would react.

 

“She said they were ‘ _experiments_ ’,” Georgina talked with despite. ”That she wanted to study the reactions caused by her actions. She told me once she was like a god for her ‘ _subjects_ ’ as she called them. One day thought animals weren't enough. She killed a boy when she was only six. Put some poison in his drink. Know what she said after his burial? ‘ _I put too much of it’_ with a disappointed face _._ That's it _.”_

Sousuke looked at her speechless. There was no sign of these traits in Saint James Clinic’s files.

 

“I've stopped counting how many orphans disappear in the Hall. She was so good at lying that no one ever suspected her. I was the only one who knew...But I couldn't say anything...who could have believed me?” She defended herself.

 

“But she did get caught, didn't she?” Sousuke asked. “She got committed.”

 

“Men…you’re all fools. You fell for that trap, just like all the others.” Georgina began to laugh hysterically. “Kaori only did what she wanted. Trust me, she only went to Saint James Clinic because she wanted to.”

 

“But it hardly made any sense, who would want to go in such a place?”

 

“Someone like her, certainly.” Tomas said. His voice was weaker than before. “Maybe it was just another of her experiment. But Georgina has another interesting theory.”

 

Sousuke turned his head, his eyes searching for Georgia’s green ones.

 

“...Vengeance,” she told him, “What else for someone like her? What do you think would happen if you were to defy a God, to win against Its hegemony?”

 

Suddenly things started to move, and design a theory that sounded right in Sousuke’s ears. Kaori Nanase willingly went to the asylum for revenge. She wanted to meet someone here that she couldn't reach by other means. Another resident…that was the only explanation.

 

“There was this woman who called her a witch after her son died. She was persuaded Kaori killed him, and she was so right! But no man believed her, not even the doctor who called her crazy. But women...women were another story.  Katarina was a nurse, and she had delivered most of the women in the area. They adored her, and trusted her; and Kaori’s reputation was scrambled with gossips. She couldn't allow it.”

 

_‘Katarina’_

_‘July the 3 rd 1868’_

_‘MURDERER’_

 

Kaori entered the asylum so she could murder the one woman who harmed her pride _._

“She pretended Toraichi and her were having an...unhealthy relationship for brother and sister, if you see what I mean, told everyone who wanted to hear her that she loved him and wanted to marry him. What a scandal it was…” Georgina went on, her eyes lowering in the floor. “Toraichi had just came back from India and had to marry in a hurry before the scandal broke in. His father found a suitable woman soon after Kaori was locked in, and you know how it ended. Toraichi married Miyako during spring and soon she was pregnant of Rin. But little did we know that he wasn’t the first baby of the family…”

 

The tale stopped there, memories too painful to be remembered remained inside her mind. Sousuke figured out easily how bemused they all were when Kaori came back from the asylum with a baby; considering their resemblance it was impossible to deny who his mother was.

 

“She got out the moment she achieved her goal.” Georgina finally said. “That was just the kind of power she had. She truly was a witch, a real monster. She couldn't be human. How she managed to produce such an adorable little boy would remain a mystery. Killing her was another proof of his benediction; there was no way we would let Haruka suffered for the good he had done.”

 

Sousuke realized, no matter how horrible the truth was, that everything the Tachibanas and the rest of the household did was out of love. Their love for Haruka since he arrived at the Hall and admiration later when he did what they had always dreamed of doing without finding the courage to.

 

“Your arrival opened scars we would have gladly wished to forget forever.” Tomas murmured behind Sousuke. When he turned around, the bedsheets had gone red. “I don't have much time left... I need to tell you, before I leave this world for good...what happened during the hunt.”

 

Georgina gasped as her husband spoke and started crying. Sousuke too, in a couple of minute, would have killed a man; who was he now to judge them for the crimes they had done?

 

“You see, the Beast...it was-"

 

“I've seen it, in the hut’s basement,” Sousuke cut him to save Tomas from unnecessary chat. “I found the head...along with Nagisa’s corpses.”

 

“Tomas!” Georgina spurred. She obvious wasn't aware of the cook’s trespassing.

 

“He had seen it all, we had...No other choice, unfortunately. It was too risky to bet he’d remain silent if we asked him to. He didn't love Haruka as much as we did to bare the sins on his skin.”

 

“But he was...innocent!” Sousuke muttered. He was out of himself but could resign himself to yell at a dying man.

 

“I don't look for mercy or pardon, I know I don't deserve them. What we had done is unacceptable, yet I can't see any other solution. I truly wished we had.”

 

The Beast had been, since the young Duke’s death, a legend; people from the cities around spoke and wrote about It but in the end no one ever saw It’s face. And for a good reason! It didn't even exist yet.

 

“You didn't make things easy for us,” Tomas said with a weak smile. “I knew you would be the hardest to convince, but if I managed then the others, even the Officer, would follow. Both of my sons helped me for the preparation, they set the prints just before we arrived. The setting was ideal: it was dark, everyone was scared and on edge and on top of everything you were trouble by the Duke’s presence. I had two objectives: to isolate you from everyone else and to make you drink a beverage Georgina prepared, a mix of alcohol and hallucinating plants.”

 

Sousuke brought his hand to his lips. Their finest whiskey...He had drunk three mouthfuls.

 

“I pretended to hurt my feet so that you would leave me alone. I waited a bit and used my whistle so you would rush back. That was also the signal for Makoto and Ren, who were following you. They took care of the officer before dressing up as the Beast. Makoto was holding his little brother on his shoulders, he was the one wearing the mask on his head…the darkness, the fear and what you drank made you see what you saw that night.”

 

“But then, then…” Sousuke gazed at Tomas’s missing arm.

 

“It was the last sacrifice we need to make sure you would believe.” Tomas replied. “I cut myself on purpose as soon as you were unconscious. My arm was also a proof for the others, to show them we had really fought against the Beast.”

 

Tomas eyed the ceiling for some time, his eyes watering. “...I also put blank bullets your rifle so when we would meet the Beast again, you would aim for it and my boys would pretend It to be dead but...But…”

 

It was the Duke who had fired, with his powerful rifle, right in the Beast head. Right in the middle of Ren’s face. It wasn’t a sacrifice they hadn’t planned on making. It answered one of the mysteries left: the corpse they found in the woods was Ren's, who had never left for Treston in the end, it was just another lie they had pulled on to lure them.

 

“We just...wanted you to leave, as soon as possible...but you wouldn't go without Rin, and Rin...wanted to stay with Haru, like always...it always...comes back to...”

 

The end never came. Sousuke and Georgina waited a few minutes before the woman crawled to her husband's side and closed his eyes.

 

“At last...this nightmare is all over...” she breathed.

 

Tears fell down her cheeks.

 

Sousuke wanted to pull them away, but realized he couldn't, he didn't have the right to. He was the one who killed Tomas, he had no right to be here right now. Before obscure thoughts invaded his mind, Goergina turned her head to the door.

 

A moment after policemen had taken possession of the room, along with Sir Serizawa and Aichirou. The young policeman knelt next to him.

 

“Are you hurt? Sir, this one needs immediate care!”

 

“It's fine, I'm fine.” Sousuke replied weakly.

 

Nao checked Tomas's pulse while other policemen questioned Georgina, who replied between two sobs with a nod or not. It was pointless. Tomas was dead.

 

“Could you tell us what happened?” The forensic asked him.

 

Sousuke considered answering right away but his tale might take some time and there was something he was most worried about.

 

“Have you found anyone in the manor? I fought with Makoto, put him in the ceiling.”

 

Nao nodded. “We heard him groaning as we inspected the place. Natsuya and Father Ryuugazaki are inspecting the hut.”

 

“What about Rin? And Haruka? Have you found them already?”

 

Nao seemed surprised. “Not yet, their rooms are empty. Why? Did they get into a fight as well?”

 

Sousuke stood up and ran to Rin's bedroom. It was empty, and more importantly, there was no weapon under the pillow, the knife and gun were gone.

 

“We need to find them.” He warned the officer. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

 

He had no idea of who attacked him from behind, but Haruka had been the only person standing between him and the door when he regained consciousness and he had, perhaps, heard Rin's voice before his sense left him – or perhaps it was in his dream. He knew Rin like the back of his hand and even he couldn't start to imagine what was running into his head right now. When Rin panicked, like that time in Prague, his mind usually went totally blank, and the Rin they all knew disappeared to be replaced by an autopilot mode only thinking of his own survival rate. Putting two and two together leaded him to consider what Sousuke would call a catastrophe.

 

 

***

 

 

“Rin !! Rin !! Where are you??”

 

He could hear his name being called, shouted even, but that was all. Who did the voice belong to? Rin knew it was someone close but his memories were too blurry to figure out. The only thing he knew was that he was in great danger. He had a broken leg, trouble breathing and a gun in his hand. Someone was after him, probably the man shouting his name. What had he done this time? Was it because of his sins? Were they going to hang him too outside his own door step in front of his mother like an animal?

 

He had to get out of there. His steps brought him to a familiar place. There, he felt like home, despite the snow and the cold, it felt warm. Rin rested his back against the frozen fountain and gazed in front of him, to the bushes, whitened by the snow. The sight was beautiful, so beautiful it made him cry. No, it wasn't that. It was not the sight, it was his memories. He had been there before.

 

“Rin!!”

 

The voice made him cry harder. Why? Perhaps because it was getting closer. The inside of a green maze seemed like the perfect hiding place, as for why he had found his way in so easily, he had no idea yet; but if the voice reached him just as fast that wasn't maybe the smarter plan.

 

He needed to think. He needed his brain to work again. What had happened...what had just happened...

 

He remembered blood, remembered the smell, the pool...Sousuke's body lying on the floor, lifeless-

 

“Rin!! Where are you??”

 

His blue eyes, pleading him, loving him. Haruka. It was his voice, it was him who stood just next to Sousuke's corpse. Haruka poisoned Ama, thus avenging his father's death. Haruka made him fall from the second floor to keep him by his side. Haruka was looking for him.

 

He heard someone breathing heavily behind him. He had been found. When Rin turned around he met those blue eyes that made him want to cry.

 

“Haruka...”

 

He thought he saw some hurt in these blue eyes.

 

“...I know I'll find you here...”

 

Haruka had a knife in his hand. Rin got up and aimed with the gun. He wouldn't let anyone harm him for what he was, not anymore.

 

“Please, Rin!” Haruka put his hands up showing he was cooperating. “Calm down!” He shouted. The snow started to fall again, the wind made it difficult to hear what he was saying. “It's not what you think.”

 

“And what it is exactly? What do I think?”

 

“Sousuke is fine! He is alright! Look at my blade and you'll know it. There’s no blood on it! The blood was Tomas’s!”

 

Tomas. The gardener. Makoto's father.

 

“...is he hurt?”

 

“Yes, badly.” Haruka answered. He took a step forward. “Listen, you need to get back inside with me. You're hurt.”

 

Rin went opposite, walking around the fountain and Haruka mimicked him. “Thanks to who?”

 

It looked like Haruka was about to cry. “I know. I don't know how many times I'll need to apologize, but trust me, I will. I'll spend all my life apologizing if it's what it takes to have your forgiveness! But please Rin! I only care about your safety, go back inside with me!”

 

“What exactly happened in here?” Memories flashed back of these previous weeks. He remembered everything. Everything. His hands were shaking. Did Haru have any idea of what they had done?

 

“I don't know!” Haru shouted, and got closer. “But you can ask Sousuke when you come back inside with me! I won't hurt you, no one will!”

 

He saw the sincerity in those eyes, sincerity and concern, and so much more. Rin cried twice as much, the more Haruka got near him. How foolish of him, how could he have thought just one second that…Haru had killed Sousuke?

 

“Rin, Rin...look at me.”

 

Haru was close now. His hands reached his.

 

“Give me the gun, please. It's over. Everything is over.”

 

He looked into his eyes, his blue eyes, and he saw only love in them.

 

“I love you.” He said, as he took the gun from his hands.

 

Rin bit back his tears. How foolish he had been. “Love you too.” He replied.

 

“We're almost there.”

 

Rin frowned. “What did you say?”

 

Haru turned around to the entrance. “I didn't say anything. Someone else's there.”

 

“Sir, do we take right or left?”

 

A shiver ran down his spine. He recognized the voice, it was Aichirou. What was the police doing here already? Shouldn’t they be questioning Sousuke or Thomas? Why? What had happened during the time he had spent in bed? Why did Tomas and Sousuke fought for? What were all of these people doing there? Judging by the footsteps they might be at least a dozen. Were they all looking for him?

 

Haru had the gun secured in his hand; his palms were moist, he was just as anxious as him. He also had no idea of what was happening.

 

“What should we do?”

 

“I don't really like how things are turning...” Haru confessed. “Follow me.”

 

Haru took his wrist and leaded him in between the bushes. It was a short cut to go back into the garden. Rin followed him blindly; all he could think of was why would so many people look for them specifically. Did they...Had they found out about his relationship with Haru? Were they here to arrest them? Or worse…

 

“Here, let me help you.”

 

Haru threw Rin's cast away and hold him by the waist. They slowly walked, hidden by the darkness, out of the green maze to the main hall. Haru stopped there a moment, just in front of the camellia.

 

“Look, Rin...You remember, I told you about this.”

 

There were red petals on the snow, a lot of them, barely visible thanks to the moonlight. Snowflakes fell on the petals, hiding the vibrant red colour from their sight little by little.

 

“Isn't it beautiful?”

 

Rin gazed, mesmerized, at the snow slowly falling, ignoring the pain on his leg. Feeling Haru warmth against his side, he thought time had stopped for a couple of seconds. 

 

“You should see it during day time...it's even more-”

 

“Don't move!”

 

Rin turned his head to where the voice came from. Officer Natsuya walked from the lake; he had his own gun aimed at them and a couple of his men right behind him reading to fond on them. Haru stepped in front of Rin, protecting him from the policeman's weapon.

 

“Sir, he is armed!” Rin heard them say.

 

“Don't go nearer.” Haru warmed them, he stepped back, his trembling arms holding the gun. Rin could tell from his shaking voice that he was just as scared as he. “I won't let you.”

 

“Put your gun down!” the Officer shouted. What were they supposed to do? What did they want from them? At this point everything seemed lost. But what proof did they have? What right did they have? How could they prevent them from being happy?

 

Haru didn't quiver.

 

“I won't say this twice.” The Officer said.

 

“Rin! Rin, you have to listen to him!”

 

Someone came out of the manor's entrance, supported by the forensic's help. It was Sousuke, harmed but alive, and Rin let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding this whole time. That was the only good news of this etic night. Other policemen got out, holding Makoto and Ran with their hands behind their back. What was happening?

 

“They won't harm you!” Sousuke shouted, “They are here to help!”

 

“And Haru, what are they going to do with him?”

 

To this ask no one replied. Rin doubted they could give him an answer he would like anyway. The police hadn't come for nothing, and Haru owned the place, was actually threatening a policeman with a gun and, small details they still ignored so far, he had killed someone. He couldn't let them have him. He would stay by his side.

 

“Rin, please...just cooperate, this is just a big misunderstanding!”

 

Things were going too fast. “I...I...” What should he do? He had no idea of what the right thing to do was!

 

“Rin, you should listen to him.” Haru spoke.

 

Rin turned his head to look at his eyes. He was still aiming at the policemen in front of them. “I'll protect you. Just go.”

 

Reluctantly Rin swallowed his dry saliva and limped to the manor’s entrance, walking past the camellias. He knew he could trust Sousuke with his life, and since he appeared safe and sound, he would probably tell him what the heck was happening. If this was really a big misunderstand then-

 

*** _BOOM*_**

Something burst from the first floor, from Ama's room.

 

*** _bang_ ***

 

Flames, fire, chaos. The fire quickly went to the second floor to Haru's apartment and down the stairs, destroying everything on its way. Another explosion made the window burst and everyone under the main entrance ran to the gardens. Sousuke ran to Rin, hold him in his arms as they went back to the gardens.

 

“What the fuck is happening?” Rin asked. “Oh my- your eye!”

 

“It's nothing. I think someone is burning the manor down.” Sousuke replied.

 

“What? But who? And for what?”

 

“...Georgina...” Sousuke breathed.

 

Rin barely heard him speak; the blaze was making a huge racket and threatened to burn down the whole area. The camellias close to the door started to burn as well. They needed to leave really quickly if they all wanted to make it in one piece.

 

“God we have to- Haru, we need to...Ha...Haru?”

 

When Rin turned around, Haru was lying on the snow, a couple of men along with Officer Kirishima knelt before him. Rin crawled to him, and let out a sigh when he gazed into his blue eyes, smiling at him.

 

“Hey, what are you doing there? This is no time for a nap.” He said softly.

 

Knelt next to him a policeman was sobbing, his hands trembling as they rest on his thighs. “...I'm...The explosion it... I thought he had…used his gun I…I didn't want to but...it just...went on its own...” he said.

 

Haru was holding his side. The palm of his hand was red. Rin's eyes fell on Haru's face, his lips, where a drop of blood was slowly falling down his chin.

 

“...I'm sorry.” Haru murmured. “But I feel like sleeping.”

 

“No, no, no.” Rin started to panic. Sousuke reached his side immediately.

 

“What in hell! What have you done!?” He was fulminating. How dare they!

 

“I'll take responsibility for my men's mistake.” Officer Kirishima told him gravely. “I'm sorry, but with the wind and the blaze we can't stay here unless we all want to die.”

 

“You're going to leave him here? He needs immediate care!” Rin shouted.

 

As if the element had something to oppose another explosion occurred in the left wing, sending ashes and embers everywhere. Half of the camellias had burned by the time Sousuke knelt next to Haru.

 

“...Dammit, the bullet avoided all the vital organs,” he noticed. “If only we could take him with us...”

 

Another explosion made the rest of the crew ran off to a secure place. The heat quickly became unbearable.

 

“Everyone had been evacuated, you need to leave too!” Natsuya ordered them. “Or you'll all die in the fire!”

 

“I don't fear the flames,” Rin retorted. “I won't leave Haru behind!”

 

“Rin, you need to go. Your lungs aren't properly healed yet, if not the fire, the smoke will be enough to kill you.”

 

They heard footsteps running to them. Makoto had escaped his guard and rushed to Haru's side.

 

“You go, I'll stay with him.” He said.

 

The officer was on the point of leaving but halted, and grabbed Makoto by the collar. “You can't! You're my sole prisoner! Everyone else is dead!”

 

Makoto pushed him away, his eyes full of tears. “Don't you think I know that already!? I won't lose another dear person to me, I won't let you do that to me!”

 

With a last look behind his shoulder, the officer covered his nose and joined his troops. “Be careful, Yamazaki. You’re the only sane man here, I trust you’ll leave with your friend before it’s too late. Don’t be a fool. Nothing is more valuable than life.”

 

After all the deaths he had witness within the Hall, Sousuke knew that already, better than anyone else. He knew they had very little time. His eyes, after watching the officer’s back leaving the Hall, went on Rin’s face, on Haru’s wound and Makoto. Could they save him? Certainly, but for what? Haru would be set in a jail the moment he’d recover from his injuries, along with Makoto. It was only justice, but on the other hand Sousuke felt all of this was so unfair. Makoto had only suffer from an impossible situation and Haru…he’d think of him later. As he saw the blood flooding from his side and the life he had lived so far, far from the one he loved, Sousuke felt in his heart that life made him paid for his crimes already.

 

He took off the other half of Ama's robe he had used to constrict Tomas's wound and gave it to Makoto.

 

“You need to go. Press this on the wound just like this-“ Haru winced, Rin grasped his hand harder. “This would stop the bleeding. Find a river to wash his skin. Take him with you, and hide until the mess is over.”

 

“But, that means…I…” Rin was about to cry again. The smoke already irritated his eyes before the pain forced the tears out. “I don’t want to lose him again.”

 

“You’ll only lose him if he dies!” Sousuke shouted. Rin already had trouble breathing, meaning his lungs were damaged by the smoke, he had very little time to act before he lost consciousness. “Or get imprisoned. By letting him go you give him a chance…” Sousuke glanced at Makoto, who nodded, showing he had understood his plan. “Even if it’s not 100 per cent, there’s still a chance.”

 

“It’s just another goodbye, after the end of the summer.” Haru lifted his hand, caressing Rin’s cheek with tenderness. “I’ll see you again. Maybe…maybe next time, we’ll be able to see the cherry blossoms bloom.”

 

Sousuke let them kiss, one last time, before he took Rin by the waist and dragged him out of this hell.

 

“No…No please, please! I don’t want to leave him.” Rin cried on his shoulder.

 

He used his last strength to shout his name until eventually he closed his eyes and hushed. Sousuke hurried to save his friend’s life, never looking back. He hoped, from the bottom of his heart, that these two had escaped the blaze alive. He really hoped so.

 

The officer was waiting for him with a spare horse at the hall’s entrance. “I knew you’d reason him.” He told him. “Someone help him! Quickly!”

 

For some reason Sousuke didn’t want to let Rin go, as if he would die if he gave his body in someone else’s care. The moment the weight left his shoulder, everything else felt more real and painful – his eye, his head, his leg. While they ride to Edlington he realized they would never come back to the Hall ever again, that people he had talked to, eaten with, laughed and worked with for the past few weeks were definitively gone. Goro, Ren, Ama, Nagisa, Tomas, Georgina…they were all dead; and they would most likely never see Makoto and Haru again, if they made it alive.

 

It was the end of this nightmare. He made it out alive with Rin, but at what cost? In his seek of the truth he had chosen to stay here, one more night, just because of his curious mind and look where it got him…six people had died because of this, and Rin’s heart was probably broken beyond repair.

 

Sousuke had never hated life more than at this very moment. That night, he cried, and cried, and shouted; he hit on walls and drank far too much, haunted by his mother’s words.

 

 

_‘Nothing good comes out of the past.’_

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

It had been a few days since his arrival. The Duke’s mansion hadn’t changed one bit: big, luxurious, with too many rooms so that Sousuke lost himself at least twice a day and came late for dinner every time. The few months he had spent in London gave him the time he needed to exorcize what had happened here in peace, so that seeing this many people connected to the Hall wasn’t as emotionally exhausting as he had first anticipated. Even seeing the Duke was pleasant. Sousuke took his time, but he had finally admitted he was a good guy. At least, good enough for Gou.

 

Speaking of the devil.

 

“Sousuke? He’s ready.”

 

They walked to her brother’s bedroom. Rin had rested here since the fire. Doctor Stew came here every morning to insure his patient’s well-being, but from his experience his deepest wound wasn’t something medicine could ever heal. Sousuke couldn’t agree more with his pair, for once.

 

It was almost noon, yet Rin hadn’t felt hungry in ages.

 

Sousuke found him in sitting in front of the French window of his bedroom. His face was pale, his eyes reddened. He had lost a lot of weight, lost his radiance and grace. He was looking at the view through the fabric of the white curtains, his eyes lifeless, his shoulders down. He probably couldn’t see anything of the gardens.

 

Sousuke frowned when he saw him holding his rosary close to his chest. “Will you join us today? We’re having meat today. The Duke and I killed it this morning.”

 

“Seems like the Duke and you are on good terms.”

 

“Indeed we are. Why does it seem to bother you that much?”

 

“It doesn’t.” Rin replied, tiredly. “Just that I never thought you’ll surrender so quickly.”

 

“What about you then? Have you really surrendered already?”

 

Rin sent him a dark glare then turned his eyes to the window again. His leg had had time to heal in four months, but his lungs and heart were still fragile. Rin used Gou as a pretext to talk about anything else other than Haru. It had been months and still…no news from him had echoed in the mansion, nor reached their ears.

 

Yet, Sousuke still had hope.

 

The day before he came back to London he went by the Hall one last time. Natsuya, now a good friend of him, had permitted him to access the crime scene.

 

“Like you thought, we found two bodies in Ama’s room; Tomas and Georgina, along with a jar. Probably creosote since you told us they were some in the manor.” The officer told him.

 

It was not difficult to figure out why she did so. Fire destroyed and cleaned the place better than anything a man could have done. It had been her way to exorcize the place, and liberate it from Kaori’s presence.

 

They had found no one in the gardens. The camellias and the green maze had burned down entirely, but the sakura tree, thanks to its proximity with the lake, stayed untouched. Rin would have been happy, but Sousuke doubted his friend would ever consider coming back here ever again.

 

“Have you found them?”

 

“Not yet, but we’re still looking.” Natsuya replied. “There shouldn’t be that far, with Sir Nanase wounded like that.”

 

“What are you going to do if you find him?” Sousuke asked the officer.

 

He lit a cigar and offered one to Sousuke, who refused it politely. “Well, you told us the truth. He killed his mother when he was twelve and he’ll be judge for that.”

 

“Really? But considering-“

 

“No matter what people are, a life is a life; and I am no judge to discuss how a life is more valuable than another. Perhaps our jury will have more mercy…So far, Sir Nanase had only killed someone who had tried to kill him. I wouldn’t surprise they’ll plead self-defence.”

 

The thought eased a weight out of Sousuke’s chest.

 

“What for the rest of the crimes?” He asked then.

 

Natsuya blew some smoke out of his lungs. “This is a real mess. I have nothing, no one to question or to put into jail because you let the last Tachibana escape.” He told him without malice. “The girl doesn’t know a thing. She identified her twin brother though, like you thought she would.”

 

“So you’ll put all the blame on Tomas, Goro and Ama?”

 

“Considering what you told me only Tomas and Goro committed murder. Ama and your friend Makoto are guilty of other crimes, but since they’re dead or missing…I think I’ll close this case for good. The area needs it to be over to move on. Now that the Hall is no more…Its Beast will definitely be gone as well.”

 

The snow had melted, leaving no trace of where Haru and Makoto had gone. But if they had died, Sousuke was certain the police would have found their bodies somewhere. That must mean something. It must mean they were alive, alright, somewhere, anywhere.

 

 

If only Rin could think the same.

 

 

“I’ll take it as a no. Your sister will be highly disappointed, as usual.” Sousuke turned his heels and headed to the exit. His hand froze on the doorbell. “Rin…are you alright? Are you sure…you don’t want to talk about it?”

 

He left him a good minute to reply. After that, he’d stopped asking. It had been four months. Rin hadn’t reply to any of his letters – he even doubted he read one. If he still wasn’t ready to open up now, he would never be.

 

“…I…”

 

Sousuke went tensed at the mere sound of Rin’s voice.

 

“I…there’s…dammit. I just. I wish I could but…what if…I’m scared you wouldn’t want to talk to me if I tell you. Or even look at me.”

 

Sousuke turned around. Rin was still looking through the window, his hand crisped on his rosary. He couldn’t believe it.

 

“What on earth…Rin…of course I’ll never do that. You’re my best friend. You’re the person I esteem the most on the entire planet. I love you more than anything. How could you…even think I could do something like that to you?”

 

But Rin had gone back into his shell. His words couldn’t reach him anymore, they ricocheted off Rin’s amour and came back right in Sousuke’s heart, hurting him like nothing had done before. He had tried, so hard and so long, to support Rin and understand him even in his darkest mood, only to feel powerless when Rin needed help the most. Only one person managed to open him up when he was in that state, and he had gone missing. Sousuke wished they could find each other, so that Rin could smile again; he doubted he would be able to manage that miracle alone anymore.

 

 

 

 

Sousuke ate dinner with the Duke, Gou and half of Edlington’s police – the Officer and his forensic friend were here, along with Aichirou who had been promoted, and some new faces. Within four months people had gone back to the Aberdeens in no time after the news broke and the area had never been so lively. Sousuke made sure everyone in London heard about this story.

 

“You wrote a book?!” Gou exclaimed while they were having dessert – lemon pudding, her favourite. “About what happened in the Hall?”

 

“Well, at first it was more for my own catharsis. But I got caught up with the mystery…It’s actually finished, but I still need to find a suitable title.”

 

“Does it look like those stories you like so much, with that insolent detective, who plays the violin all the time?”

 

“You mean Sherlock Holmes, my love?”

 

“I’m impressed you know about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle,” Sousuke remarked.

 

It seemed the Duke took it badly, because he barked for an hour or two about how much books he could read within a day and invited Sousuke to his personal library. Nao sent him an apologetic glance before taking a bit of his pudding.

 

It was a lovely moment, full of life. It felt like nothing had happened at all.

 

 

 

“So, your book,” Natsuya asked him after Sousuke refused one of his cigar once more. “How does it end?”

 

They were walking outside, at the back of the mansion. “Good. Less people die.”

 

“Rearranging the truth to cope with what actually happened; that’s a good way to deal with the trauma.”

 

“I guess I’m doing better than Rin,” Sousuke said with bitterness. If only he could help his friend…”How about the others?”

 

“Ran had been living with Father Ryuugazaki as soon as she got out of jail,” Natsuya said after blowing out the smoke out of his lungs. “I don’t think she will ever get over this tragedy. She lost her whole family in one night, and learned her parents were murderers and liars. Father Ryuugazaki says that, considering the circumstances, she is doing rather well.”

 

“How is the priest doing?” Sousuke inquired.

 

“Oh that’s right, you owe him your life…he’s still the same I guess. He is really happy the place had been purified by the flames, and is positive the evil that lived in the hall is no more. He comes to see Rin from time to time.”

 

“I don’t think he’ll get him talk. Rin isn’t really talkative anymore…”

 

Natsuya frowned, “Really? From what I’ve heard Sir Matsuoka is the one who asked Father Ryuugazaki to visit him.”

 

“Are you serious?” That was even more intriguing. Why would he speak to a priest and not to his best friend?

 

 

When Sousuke went back to his apartment he took the main hall, ruminating. Should he stop by Rin’s room again? What was the secret he still refused to reveal?

 

With his eyes on the floor he bumped into someone by accident.

 

“Oh, excuse me.”

 

The man was tall and well built. He was wearing a hat and a dark suit, hiding his face the moment Sousuke put his eyes on it. Yet his face looked familiar; he had already seen the man but where?

 

“Sir, it seems you dropped this.”

 

The man gave him a piece of paper and before Sousuke could tell him it wasn’t his, he had gone to the exit.

 

What a curious…meeting…

 

All of a sudden he remembered. He had seen his face on the picture in the smoking room. It was Russell Robinson, the man who he thought had plotted against Haru to win back the tea company. What was Russell Robinson doing here? He would have noticed him at lunch. He ran after him but again it was too late. The man was already sitting in his carriage along with a blonde lady, his cabman ready to start their journey back. Where were they going?

 

“Wait!” Sousuke said, but Sir Robinson didn’t even spare a glance back at him. Instead, the cabman, a man with a long barb and moustache which colour didn’t perfectly match the one of his hair, smiled back at him and waved.

 

That smile…and those green eyes…he had seen them so many times…

 

…Could it be…?

 

The shock made him drop the piece of paper he was holding until then. Sousuke picked it up from the ground; it was a letter, with an open seal of the Matsuoka family. Without thinking Sousuke opened the letter. To his surprised, it was from Rin’s mother. It was the letter Rin claimed he had never received during their stay in the Hall. Why did he hide something so important from him? And how did this man find it?

 

_‘My dear little boy,’_

 

Sousuke read half of the letter eagerly, hoping he’ll find something worth but the letter was full of platitude and mother and son chitchat. She talked about him, and Gou, and them together – his chest hurt when he realized she had favoured him at first. What an idiot he had been.

 

_‘As for the question you asked…I’m afraid the only persons who could answer honesty are all dead.’_

 

Sousuke read that line one more time. Rin had probably asked his mother if she knew something about the incident in the Hall ten years ago. Did she have any idea about what happened? Could she have guessed that her nephew killed his own mother?

 

_‘I’m not surprised you asked this to me, even after all these years, considering how close you two were. I knew it would come one day, because the same question had haunted my nights, even after your father’s death. But alas I’m afraid I won’t be able to ease the weight in your heart, for I know nothing for certain.’_

Sousuke almost stopped there. There wasn’t anything new anyway, and it was after all Rin’s personal mail.

 

But his curiosity took the best of him.

 

_‘You can easily guess I asked about it too, to your father mostly, but only a couple of times. From the start I had always been sceptical about this story, I knew who your aunt was before meeting him – she was really famous, not in a good way unfortunately – and everyone knew lying was like breathing air to her. I asked her once, just to see how she would react. I shouldn’t have.’_

 

…Ask her about what? About who killed her? This was not making any sense. Except if…

 

What did Rin ask his mother about?

 

_‘This was when I started to doubt your father. This woman was a witch, and your father adored her so much. She never said anything, but the way she looked at me with hate, condescend and pity, the way she patronized me, the way she looked at you as if she wanted to kill you in your sleep…I know that love can turn men blind, but does brotherly love works the same? I wondered some time if you would choose not to see a monster if it was your own sister. What if it was you and Gou? With only a glance and a wicked smile, she turned my dreams into nightmares, make me doubt my own husband, the love of my life, when he swore to me he hadn’t touched her once, and had never wanted to.’_

 

…Did she…

 

Did she really insinuate what Sousuke thought?

 

Kaori and Toraichi?

 

But that was just a lie she made up to enter Saint James Clinic!

 

_‘Since he died I live with regret, I loathe myself because the doubt didn’t leave me when he left to fight for our country, and I never see him again. Today, I prefer to ignore her smile, and her eyes, and remember how much of a good man your father had been. And you should do the same, my boy. And if I was ever wrong, I console myself, thinking that at least, Haruka had received the goodness of your father to counterbalance the evil his mother had been.’_

Sousuke stood there in the middle of the entrance, bemused. When he thought he had seen all that was to see in this case something new appeared…when would it stop, and leave him in peace?

 

On the back of the last page, there was a sentence, written with red ink.

 

_‘Three persons can keep a secret if two of them are dead.’ - Benjamin Franklin._

That sentence, again, he saw it on Ama’s diary. What did it imply? Did someone else know?

 

Sousuke needed a moment to catch up.

 

He found a seat in the lounge and poured himself a drink that he finished in one go. Did Rin really think Haru was his half-brother? That would explain…everything…why he worshipped the Holy Mary, why he had refused to go back to the manor, why he had avoided the place like the plague…Being attracted to men wasn’t the only reason he felt sinful and begged for pardon, Rin thought the person he fell helplessly in love with was from his own blood. How horrible…he had no idea Rin had gone through so much…he needed to tell him immediately, that it was just a lie, a very heavy and destructive lie but just a lie in the end. This woman, this evil woman, she had hurt so many people even from her grave. She really was evil, in every aspect.

 

Sousuke ran to Rin’s room. Breathless, he opened the door.

 

Rin was nowhere to be seen. The French windows were opened, making the white curtains float in the room.

 

“Sousuke? Have you seen my brother?” He heard Gou from the end of the corridor. “The policemen are about to leave and we can’t find him anywhere, they want to say goodbye.”

 

Sousuke walked to the table where he had last seen Rin. He had left his rosary behind; it was set in the middle of the table along with a red camellia and a branch of cherry blossom in bloom.

 

“Sousuke?” Gou entered the room, her hand on the doorframe. “Do you know where Rin could have gone?” She asked.

 

 

He smiled. He might have an idea.

 

 

They had gone watch the cherry blossom bloom together at long last.

 

 

 

 

 

##  The Beast of the Aberdeens - The End

* * *

 

 

 

**Trivia :**

The OC's name:

Haru's mother : Kaori Nanase, named after Kaori Yuki my favorite Mangaka, and inspired by Lucille Sharp in Crimson Peak and Comte Cain's mother in Kaori Yuki's manga God Child.

Haru's father : I named him Asou, which might be a last name, from a character of 1 liter of tears, a japanese drama I adore.

Makoto's father : I named him Tomas after the kind of japanese red camellia "Tom Knedsen".

Makoto's mother : I named her Georgina after watching 'the Duchess' with Keira Knighley. 

 

The title is a reference to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle the Hound of the Baskervilles. Other title I thought of : The Beast (just the beast), Red, or a badly latin translation of smth.

 

The Manor I thought about while writing is a little bit like the Castle of Serrant in France

 

The ending is open but highly suggest **Haru and Rin are alive and together**. It was, again, inspired by God Child's ending, which is a little bit less optimistic but still opened.

 

Also, about the incest, you can choose your own version : Did Kaori lie or did she tell the truth? Who really is Haru's father?

For my part, I think she's a reincarnation of Satan and had Haru herself. _(I thought about it like a couple of weeks ago only I like this idea haha)_

 

(If you feel some part needs further explanation because I have to admit this story is sick and twisted, tell me I'll add info here, if it's not already written in the story).

 

Thank you for reading.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it.  
> Oh my.  
> I can't believe it's finally over.  
> You avoided quite a lot of bad writing stuff but I couldn't avoid the "I changed POV in the middle of a messy scene" I'm so sorry. Guess I need more practice!  
> This was really a playfield for me, for planning. Don't take and RHR too seriously, this is nowhere canon hopefully! To think Haruka almost ended up as a psychopath serial killer...I think I read to many dark stories when I was younger.
> 
> I'd like to thank everyone who supported me, read the story despite all the warnings and tags cause that was tough ! I hope I didn't disappoint on the mystery stuff. I lived with this story for so long, and it all started because of Tom Hiddleston's butt.
> 
> With that good word
> 
> See you later :)
> 
> Q


End file.
